Kayla felt Steve's strong arms wrapped around her and heard him murmuring soft words in her hair. She finally lifted her head and looked at him. His eye was filled with love and concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Kayla gave a harsh chuckle at his question. Was she okay? Yes. No. Sometimes. In some ways she had not been okay since the day she thought he had died.

"Sweetness?" She heard the worry in his voice. "Talk to me, baby."

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, pulling away from him. "Do you want me to tell you that I'm fine with you running off to take on Lawrence on your own? I can't do that."

She felt Steve pull her back to him. "I know you're scared, baby," he said quietly. "But I'm scared too. I'm scared of what might happen to you and Stephanie if Alamain isn't stopped."

Kayla took a deep breath and wiped her tears, then looked up at Steve. "I understand that you think you can protect us by going after Lawrence. But I don't know how to accept the risks you take if you do that. I just don't." She pulled herself from him and turned away. She heard his voice behind her.

"What if I don't do it on my own?"

Kayla turned back around and looked at Steve with suspicion. "What do you mean?"

Steve did not move from where he was standing. "I ran into Abe Carver on the way to the airport this morning. I asked him about getting reinstated to the Salem PD."

"You did what?" Kayla couldn't believe her ears. "I thought we talked about this."

"We did talk about it." Steve spoke calmly. "I said I would wait until things were resolved with your suspension. But things have changed, baby."

"What do you mean? What's changed?"

"We talked about it before Alamain went after Andrew. It was also before I remembered everything about the new stuff Alamain is working on." She recognized the determination in his voice. "It was before we knew he was coming after our family again."

Kayla felt the icy grip of fear on her heart again. She wanted to scream at him that he could not do it, that it was too dangerous, but she knew it would not do any good. If he did not work with the Salem PD, he would just go out on his own again - just as he had done the night she left for the capitol. A sudden thought occurred to her.

"You just talked about how Roman plays by the rules and how that won't work against Lawrence." Kayla eyed Steve carefully. "So why would you want to go back to the PD now?"

Kayla did not miss the small smile that crossed Steve's face, or the flash of guilt in his eye.

"You're right. Roman does play by the rules, but he also has information. And he made it clear that he won't share that information unless I'm back on the job." Steve ran his hand across his face. "I can't protect us if I don't know what's going on."

"I'm sure Roman or Shane would tell us if there was an immediate threat." Kayla said, still wanting to reason with him.

Steve laughed harshly. "I'm pretty sure Shane wouldn't tell me if Lawrence was standing outside this door. Not after what happened the other night." He took a deep breath and unconsciously adjusted the patch over his eye. "If I'm on the PD, then at least I'll have some information to work with."

"And it doesn't matter what I think about it?" Kayla was hurt and angry again.

"It does matter," Steve said firmly. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. God knows, I've done enough of that. I just want you to understand why I'm doing this. You know me, Kayla. You know that I can't sit back and wait. That's not who I am."

Kayla turned away again, unable to accept the truth in his eye. She did know him. She had known that his sudden disappearance the other night had been about Alamain precisely because she knew him so well. One reason she had fallen in love with him was the part of him that would do anything to protect her or anyone else he loved. But that same protective instinct had also cost her more than she cared to remember.

Looking back, she could see that this same conflict had always been there between them. Steve, by his very nature, looked for action - for adventure of some sort. It had been there when he had been so insistent on finding a job after they first got married. She had watched as he had tried to convince himself that working at the Fish Market would make him happy simply because he knew it would make her happy. She had never wanted him to make that sacrifice for her.

Then he had taken the job with the ISA and gone undercover. She had lived in fear for weeks, and that fear had driven her to take risks of her own. When Marina had busted into their lives, she felt a different kind of fear - that Marina represented a life of adventure and mystery that Kayla could not give him. For the first time, Kayla had been afraid that maybe she and Steve really did want different things in life and that the love they shared would not be enough. But they had survived that challenge, in large part, because Steve had refused to allow her to give up on what they had. And then she had lost him anyway.

"Kayla?" Steve's voice shook Kayla from her thoughts. "Talk to me, baby."

She turned back to face him. "You're right, Steve. I do know you. And I love you for wanting to protect me and Stephanie. But I don't know how to stop the fear." She shrugged slightly. "I don't know how to pretend that it doesn't scare me to death."

"I don't want you to pretend, Kayla." He ran his hand softly down her face. "I wish you could understand why I need to do this, but if you can't, I want you to be honest with me."

She looked at him and again noticed the bruise on his face. "You know . . . you never told me how you got that bruise."

Steve put a hand to face, gingerly touching the spot on his cheek. "Don't change the subject, Kayla. We need to talk this out."

"I don't think there is anything left to talk about, Steve. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. And as much as I want to give you some kind of ultimatum - to tell you that you have to choose between me and your need to go after Lawrence - I can't do it." Kayla paused and looked deeply into the eye of the man she loved more than life itself. "I guess all I can tell you is to do what you have to do. Just remember that it's not just your life you're playing with."

There was another long moment of silence. Once again, the invisible wall rose between them. Steve could no more back off from Alamain than Kayla could stop being afraid. She knew that he wanted to stop Alamain so she would no longer be afraid. And she knew she would never stop being afraid as long as he was determined to go after Alamain. It was a perfect, unbreakable circle.

She watched Steve walk to the couch and slump down with face in his hands. She knew he was hurting and she hated it, just as she knew he hated that he was hurting her. She walked over and sat down next to him.

"Tell me how you got the bruise," she said softly.

Steve gave her a small smile. "You don't give up, do you baby?"

"I never have yet." She looked into his eye. "Or have you forgotten that about me?"

"No," Steve said, stroking her cheek. "I haven't forgotten anything."

"So did you and Bo get into a brawl at the Heart or something?" Kayla ran her hand over the bruised knuckles on Steve's hand.

Steve lowered his eyes. "Sort of . . . I guess. But that's not how I got the bruise on my face." He took a deep breath. "Long story short. . . . I left Stephanie with Kim because she said Shane wouldn't be home. After Bo and I got kicked out of the Heart, we went to Shane's to pick Stephanie up. Shane was there, holding Stephanie, when I walked in."

"Uh oh." Kayla knew she would not like what he was going to say next.

"Yeah. I saw that, and I guess I lost my temper. Again." Steve sighed softly. "I said some things I shouldn't have and Shane popped me." Steve fingered the bruise again. "I suppose I deserved this one."

Kayla wanted to be angry, but she could tell that Steve was feeling sincerely guilty this time. She could only hope that this would be some kind of turning point for Steve. She suddenly realized that she had spent two days worrying about the talk they would have about his anger at her and they hadn't even gotten to that topic.

Silence filled the room as they sat together, each lost in their own thoughts. The silence was finally broken by the calls of "Mama, Papa" from Stephanie. Kayla watched as Steve rose to go retrieve their daughter. After a few steps, Steve turned and walked back to the couch and held out his hand. Kayla gave a soft smile and took his hand and followed him into Stephanie's room. Whatever walls might be between them at the moment, they were still a family and Kayla knew they would just have to hold on to that no matter what.