A Thief and His Angel- Part II
Character(s): Julian, Lena, Rickard, and others of Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon.
Rating: T
Summary: The War of Shadows has reached an end, and with it, Marth's army is no longer needed. Everyone must carve out a new place in this time of peace, except for one thief. There's only one place for him to go.
Timeline: Immediately following the final battle in Shadow Dragon
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
He was a coward. That was the only conclusion Julian could draw from the situation. In fact, it was the only thing he could decide on as paced back in forth in front of Lena's tent.
It had been several hours since he had seen her storm off, and he had soon followed after he had escaped conversation with Rickard. He had approached her small tent, matching with perfect uniformity to the other dozen around it, but he did not enter. At first, he hoped Lena would come out so she might approach him and he could slip in half-hearted apology. However, after an hour of waiting, and the sun coming to set, Julian had realized that to talk to Lena he'd have to initiate a conversation himself. The idea hadn't been pleasant, and had stood as still as a statue in front of Lena's tent, not moving away, but sure as hell not moving forward.
After a while, he had snuck off to further contemplate the situation in the empty space behind the row of tents. The curious and judging eyes of passer byers had forced him to move from in front of Lena's tent. Many in the camp knew where he slept, keeping careful note of his whereabouts to ensure nothing from their own supplies was snatched up by him. So he assumed that his standing in front of Lena's tent, the camps most skilled and respected cleric, had looked a bit suspicious, and the last thing Julian had wanted was for any rumors to spread-negative or otherwise.
Naturally, he took the easy way out and hid in the shadow of the camp, just out of reach of the camp fire's light, but not in complete darkness either. It was a grey area, and he liked them the best. He had waited until the lights had dimmed in the camp to reenter and continue his mental stand still to speak to Lena. The silence of his earlier seclusion, which had certainly been nice to avoid spare eyes from watching him, had really only served for him to become more conflicted.
So in the half-light of spare lanterns hanging off of the tents, Julian paced, uncertain about any further action he should take.
Come on, Julian! The red head thought to himself for the umpteenth time. It's just another woman. You've talked to them before, and you've apologized before. It is no big deal.
But it really, and truly, was. And no matter how many times he tried to convince himself otherwise, he couldn't make it true. Julian had had quite a reputation with women in his past; Rickard hadn't necessarily exaggerated about that. Before, he had done quite a lot to win over a girl- even just for a day. Nothing had been serious for him though. It had been just a game to him, another treasure to add to his pile of plundered relationships. However, Lena was different. Julian had never gotten nervous around any other women before. He'd never helped out any other women before (except when it benefited him). And, really, he'd never cared about any other women. But Lena… She made him feel all of these things at once.
Julian couldn't even figure out why she was different though. He'd met other female clerics before, both pretty and hag-like. He'd met other women who seemed like they could genuinely care for him, if he allowed them. And he'd been with other women who'd provided him with much more worldly comfort than Lena could. But for some unknown reason, when Julian had caught glance of Lena being shoved inside a cage by a rather brutish Soothsire, something about her had caught his glance. Yes, she was pretty, not outlandishly so, but still beautiful in her own right. Her appearance hadn't been what caught his attention though. No, it was the way she had looked at him. And only him. It was like she had seen something in him he couldn't, and even when he had managed to speak to her for the first time, she seemed to hold nothing but genuine care. And as though he had been hit with a love arrow from the heavens, he instantly knew Lena was someone for him. That was why he couldn't treat Lena like any other woman, because she wasn't one. Not to him.
So then what will, I do?! Julian mentally bemoaned. He glanced to Lena's tent again, his heal digging deeply into the earth as he turned in an about face in one quick fluid movement.
There were two options he could take. The first, he could go back to his tent, get a couple hours of sleep and then rise early. He could pack his tent, his sleeping mat, and the one steel sword he held on from the battle field all into his travel bag. Then, before anyone would see him, he'd sneak away from the Altean army and once again join the ranks of another less than honorable group of scoundrels. Going back to the Soothsire's was certainly not an option, they had all been killed by the Altean army and the few that lived would certainly not like a traitor within their mites. He'd have to find somewhere else to go. Maybe, he'd even bring Rickard along. Maybe. But, most importantly, he'd forget any of this ever happened and wipe all the faces that he had met from his memory, returning to the way things were before. Or, he could take option two, and stay with the only person he'd even grown to care for and leave all his pointless ways behind him.
I wouldn't mind livin' on my own again. Maybe going somewhere else besides Mecedon. I could earn a few bucks by swiping stuff here and there, nothing too big to disturb anyone. It'd be easy, maybe even fun. But… He glanced towards Lena's darkened tent once more. I'd never see her again. He blinked in horror as another thought came to him. She'd never want to see me again.
And that was just not an option, not to Julian. So with new found courage, Julian took the necessary step forward and pulled open the flap to Lena's tent. He quickly made his way inside.
The moment he entered though, he realized the lack of insight on his part. The tent was dark, only lightly illuminated by the blurred lamp light from the outside. With the light, it wasn't easy to see, but Julian had keen eyes and could still examine the layout of the tent. It was small, like all the others, with no extra accessories. The only difference from Julian's own tent was that an arrangement of staffs was piled neatly on the ground and the fact that Lena herself was tucked under a thin blanket on top of a mat, asleep. Julian's face burned red in the dark and his hand went to cover his mouth to stifle his expression of surprise, despite the seclusion. He felt like an idiot, of course she was asleep. She'd probably done so hours ago and he'd been too caught up in his own thoughts to even think about what Lena was doing.
I should just leave before I wake her. Julian conceded, but at one glance down at Lena sleeping peacefully on her sleeping mat, he knew he wouldn't move. If she remained mad at him, this might be the last chance he could get to see her, to be near her. And he wanted to relish in it while he was still able. He'd leave before she awoke of course, as not to frighten her by his appearance in the tent.
For now, he would just wait, and contemplate what he would do next. He didn't have a lot of options left and many of depended on Lena's reaction to him tomorrow, after he had a word or two with her. By his standing now though, he expected he'd have to leave quickly and find himself another gig. And despite what he was known for, he didn't really have a great inclination to go off and start swindling people again. Although, he wasn't exactly willing to go out and open his own orphanage either. He didn't know what he wanted to do.
Julian's gaze shifted over to Lena, who shifted slightly in sleep and released a deep breath. No, that's not exactly true. The thief thought to himself. I know where I want to be… It's just not possible. Not for someone like me.
His thoughts continued on in this pattern for a little while as he stared down at the woman sleeping away, not privy to his inner turmoil. It was for the best though; he would have to let her go. This attachment, this affection, he had accumulated for her couldn't be acted upon. He knew that. He wasn't someone Lena should even be bothered with. She was a cleric, who was devoted to the gods she prayed to and the people she helped care for. She was clean, unblemished, perfection. He was a scoundrel, who never helped anyone. Yet, a small unaccounted hope still lingered in him that she would want him to stay with her, that she wanted him around just as much as he wanted her. But, it was improbable. And if Lena didn't want him around, he wouldn't blame her. It was his own fault that he had allowed himself to care for the cleric, allowed himself to feel something when he was usually so very careful with his heart. With others, he always had a motive, had a double purpose. But, not with Lena, never with her. And for him not to ever do any of that to Lena, he had to let her go.
As Julian struggled inwardly, he didn't notice a figure opening the flap of the tent. The person had a tall, slim muscle, form achieved from extensive riding. The figure owned a florescent shade of pink hair, reminiscent of Lena's strawberry hair. Matthis didn't see Julian right away, just as Julian didn't see Matthis since both were solely focused on the sleeping form of Lena.
Julian, however, noticed Lena's older brother first, from the corner of his eyes, and froze at the sight of a shadow looming by the tent opening. He tensed before he noticed the other's pink hair and stature and quickly realized he was dealing with Matthis.
Matthis's eyes lingered only on Lena and he looked poised to reach down and wake her; however, Julian flinched, slightly, at his outstretched hand and Matthis's head swiveled in his direction at the movement. With Julian spotted, neither of them moved, not a breath passed between them as they deduced why the other was there. Julian came to a more agreeable conclusion while Matthis did not.
Matthis gained a glare and took a heavy step forward towards Julian. "You!? What are doin-?" His tone was angry, with the haughtiness of a defensive sibling. He stepped forward, his stance leaning over Julian, who was simply placed his hands in front of him as sign he meant no harm.
"Wait, wait, wait," Matthis stepped closer, his fist clenching so hard Julian could physically hear it. "No, wait, I can explain." Julian replied. Matthis didn't seem interested in any clarification though and advanced. He grabbed Julian's collar, causing the thief to grunt as he was roughly hauled to his feet. He was surprised Matthis had the strength to lift him with such speed, but, sure enough, he was hauled up so that the two were nose to nose. With the distance between them gone, Julian could see Matthis' glare clearly. His eyes were similar to Lena's, having the same rounded shape and shade of brown. There was a difference though- where Lena's eyes held kindness and open emotion, Matthis showed the opposite- withdrawnness apathy, and residing anger. And at the moment, they held nothing but malice for him.
"Oh, you will explain you bas-!" Matthis angered voice rose, despite their uncomfortably close proximity, which Julian tried to squirm out of. The horseman's detailed insult to Julian was cut off by a small groggy voice.
"Matthis…? Is that you?" Lena wasn't sitting up on her mat, but she had turned on her side and was facing their direction. Julian could hear her voice, lethargic, thick from sleep. With her sudden wakefulness, he couldn't imagine her being able to see them clearly. And at her intervention, a part of him wanted her to rouse fully and see how her brother was assaulting him, but the larger part of him hoped she would go back into a peaceful sleep so her brother wouldn't have a chance to tell her exactly why he was being assaulted.
Matthis froze at her words and coughed slightly to attempt to hide the obvious anger he held. He looked down to Lena's pallet without giving Julian any slack in his grip. "Yes, sorry, sister. I was just checking up on you. I did not mean to wake you."
"Are you alright?" She questioned quietly, her blanket shifting against the mat. Julian still couldn't see her eyes because of the position Julian had him by the neck, but he knew she still couldn't see him, otherwise, she would have said something. Even she, despite his earlier impression, wouldn't let him get heckled by her older brother.
Matthis adorned a wicked smile, which only Julian was privy to. "Of course, I am in need of no assistance. Go back to sleep, dear Lena." The cleric, still lethargic, seemed to detect no lie from her brother's words, so she rolled over back into sleep. Matthis allowed her the time to regain comfort into sleep, and once she had returned to her slumber, Matthis roughly threw him out of the tent.
Julian hadn't been expecting the action, so he ended up tumbling out of the tent. Luckily for his quick feet, and reflexes from years of getting thrown around because of heists, he managed to tuck into a roll instead of landing on his head. He fell a couple of feet in a slight dizzy but picked himself up by planting one knee into the ground, leaving his other foot planted squarely in the grass. As Julian readied for a quick escape, Matthis came stomping out, throwing back the tent flap in one full stride. He looked no less irritated as he had a few moments ago. In fact, he seemed even more agitated because he realized that Julian had not taken on any injuries from his fall.
Matthis scoffed at the sight of the thief and pointed an accusing finger. "You have no right. No right to be here." Julian glanced to the side to see if there conversation had any spectators, but no one seemed to be lingering around at this time at night.
Julian stood up, allowing a good three feet between them. He wasn't afraid of Matthis, not at all. The man didn't have the brutish strength of Ogma or the masterful agility of Navarre. Physically, Julian and Matthis were most likely relatively matched. Though, the horseman wasn't that intelligent and Julian could easily outwit him, if needed. He just didn't want to get into an unnecessary scuffle with Lena's brother, and even though he got the sense that the two siblings weren't particularly close, he could tell that Lena would probably agree with her brother's position if Julian attempted to harm him. And even though her brother was rather unimpressive in Julian's eyes, he wouldn't begrudge Lena for siding with the other man- her family.
"Look, I didn't mean any harm, if that's what your insinuating." Julian replied, dusting himself off with a free hand. Matthis shook his head at the comment, the words brushing off as he did so.
"The hell you did. You leave my sister alone." He demanded, venomously, taking a step forward as if to be intimidating. However, since they were not in such a confining environment and Matthis really held no power over him, Julian did not feel any sort of fear from the paladin.
He put his hands up. "Look," he sighed, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. The last thing he had wanted to do tonight was talk to Matthis about his sister that he was trying to let go. "I didn't do anything."
"Yeah, you didn't because I showed up and stopped ya." Matthis announced, with pride, as though he were going to win a gold medal for his efforts. Julian would have been more sickened by the attitude if he didn't know this man was a pompous idiot.
"Hey, you didn't stop me from doing anything because I wasn't causing Lena any harm." Matthis wasn't appeased by the answer at all and only shook his head in visible disbelief.
"No, you were. I know you thieves, you're about as trustworthy lending my sword to the Satan himself." He paused, his brow knitted together and a cruel sneer appeared upon his pale skin. "And, in truth, I'd probably swear my allegiance over to the devil first."
Julian didn't bat an eye at the comment. He knew well the status he and Rickard had among the men around the encampment. They were hated because of their past occupation for once being the enemy. It was probably worse for him only because he didn't have Rickard's loud mouth and bright personality. The only ones who seemed to even want him here were Lena and the, rightfully, skeptic prince Marth. So when Matthis said these words aloud, it neither bothered nor affected Julian. He already knew Matthis despised him; there was no need for the man to be poetic about it.
Julian sighed, realizing he wouldn't be getting his point across. "That's nice, it's just unfortunate that I don't seem to care." Matthis took offense to that and his expression went to one of shock. Apparently, he had expected a bigger fight out of Julian. He hadn't expected the red-head to just roll over at his cruel words. "Nothing happened, so leave it at that."
Except, Matthis wouldn't and he kept hounding Julian anyway. The very idea that the thief was alone with his younger sister made him insanely perturbed. Matthis shook his head to calm down enough to be able to form words at all. "No, I'm not leaving it because I see how you look at my sister. I saw it the moment I laid eyes on you and her in battle for the first time. And you've been trying to worm your way into her good book since day one, and I won't allow it. I won't let some, s-some common thief win over my sister!"
Julian wanted to brush the words off, not be swayed by the goading. He shouldn't care about Matthis, the man was a nuisance, and after tomorrow he would never have to be bothered by his face again. However, his words affected him. He knew he wasn't good enough for Lena, and that she deserved better than some petty scoundrel. He knew this, despite what his heart desired. Having Matthis spit back the exact words he had already told himself only set him off. Couldn't he allow himself one moment away from the accusations? Just one moment where he thought he was worth something more than the dirt he trudged upon?
Julian's words gained heat as he returned the glare. "Big words coming from the brother that let her get captured in the first place. You weren't the one to free her or unite her with the Altean army. No, that was me. You were too busy running around with the Mecedon army, lamenting about a sister that was right under your own damn nose!" Julian huffed, attempting to gain a little bit more composure before his words got any more dangerous. Usually, he avoided fights amongst any fellow comrades, but he was starting to think giving this pink haired dimwit a punch to the face might actually be worth getting thrown out of the army a few hours early.
Matthis seemed to take in his words, and at first, he seemed unfazed, but his features unexpectedly flattened and the anger dissipated. Julian was riled up now and had expected a fight, so having Matthis deflate in front of him was startling.
Ah, hit the right nerve, Julian thought to himself, smugly.
Matthis looked to Julian with disdain and then his gaze turned to the ground. He didn't look ready to admit defeat completely though, and Julian wasn't surprised he spoke up a second later. "I told her not to go in the first place." Matthis said aloud, but seemed to be talking more to himself. "She was supposed to stay home and preform her duty. But then she ran away…" He stopped for a moment, bitterness caught in his tone, and Julian wanted to slug him because he knew it was directed at Lena. However, Matthis was actually saying something of interest for once, so he did not interrupt. "Our family was left in disgrace. We lost our noble title, and they were all sent away, except me. My punishment was to remain behind and fight. And to die. He wanted me to die."
"What was her duty?" Julian asked, sincerely curious. Matthis looked up at him at his question, the malice for him snapping back into focus, spontaneously, as though Julian's inquiry had reminded him of who he was talking to.
"You want to know what my sisters duty was, thief?" Matthis spat, as his face began to acquire a similar color to that of his hair. "Do you? Because, my sister was engaged to marry Prince Michalis… She was supposed to make our family rich and never in want!" His eyes turned to the tent and the look Julian knew was directed for Lena. "But, she left without a word to any of us, thinking her happiness was more important than our entire family. I hadn't seen her since before the War of Shadows, and I was happy to see she was still alive, but she caused our household so much suffering..."
Matthis looked up to Julian, and then tipped his head askew. "My sister was intended, no, was born to marry a prince. What makes you think that you're so special?"
Julian's silver tongue turned to lead at the accusation. He had no response. He had had no idea Lena had been engaged to the Lord of Macedon. The concept though seemed so… right. She was the perfect person to rule a country- she loved everyone. Why she did not marry the prince, Julian couldn't guess. For once, Matthis was right. She deserved more than a common thief.
Julian locked all of the grief and self-pity inside himself though and tipped his chin back at Matthis. The other man might be right, but Julian wasn't backing down. "I make no claim on Lena. Neither of you shall see me again after tomorrow." His words were icy, frigid, but they did nothing more than cut at Julian's heart.
Matthis seemed to lighten up at the sentiment, seeming genuinely surprised Julian had conceded. "Oh," He paused for a moment and he acquired that self-righteous look that Julian despised. "Yeah, we better not."
Julian rolled his eyes at the counter, but said nothing more. There was nothing more to say. So without invitation, or further prompting, he turned his back to Matthis and pressed on back to his tent.
When he found his way back, he went in and laid down on his pallet, fully clothed, and contemplated what he was going to do. He couldn't go with Lena, he didn't want to be a worthless thief anymore… He could go nowhere.
Despite Julian's best intentions, he did not catch a wink of sleep before the sun rose again.