Glowbugs are the only source of light I've got on the new planet. The Land of Fog and Magic lives up to it's bloody name. I think I'm pretty far fetched from Skaia, but all things considered, I have no idea where my planet's located and could be in the Furthest Ring for all I know.

"Don't go too far, Primatesprite! I don't want to lose ya!" I shout. Harry's been bouncing through the fog, and I don't want him to get eaten by a beastie. He's all I have right now, in terms of companions.

I've got my computer built into a watch on me wrist, took me what felt like a year to get it right, so now it's not so cumbersome. It's my WWRWD? one. My mum got it for me ninth birthday. What would Ron Weasley Do?

Glowbugs are fluttering around up near my face. I bat them back in front of me, looking up to the sky. The fog's not that bad, not oppressive, at any flat rate. Just sort of thickish and souplike. I squint upwards through my specs, and I manage to spot 'em. Spot all the little ones. I've never seen so many stars. We don't get a lot of them in California. I decide to message Youtube, because maybe she's got the same stars where she is. And then I wouldn't feel so far away from her.

[Pottermore (PM) messaged Youtube (YTB)!]

PM: Hello!

YTB: ugh hey u

PM: Um.

PM: Have you missed me?

YTB: not rly

YTB: w/u?

PM: Uhm.

PM: I've missed you.

PM: I mean talking to you. You're great. And nice! And independent and you don't really need anyone and if you went to Hogwarts you'd probably be a Ravenclaw because you've got smarts.

YTB: o rly

PM: I'd be a Gryffindor because I'm brave and all. But we could still be friends, because I've not got prejudice against houses. Most of 'em are okay, save Slytherin.

YTB: pssh wat u on

YTB: u r not brave ok ur just regular

YTB: which is ok

YTB: some people just aint heros aitgh

PM: But...I want to be a hero! And I'll be one!

PM: I'll save somebody! A damsel, perhaps!

PM: She could get kidnapped! By an evil king!

PM: AND I'D SAVE HER WITH MAGIC!

YTB: lol fukker

PM: You're sounding better, by the by. It makes me sad when you're not yourself.

YTB: thx 4 notes

YTB: the atmosphere kills me out here man

YTB: chlorine gas is a BITCH

YTB: and i had a mnetal brkdown when i fist got here

YTB: but i seem to be doin okay for myself now

YTB: somewoh just bein away from dad makes the voices quiteer

YTB: probs nothing thoug

YTB: and plus i axed off all my hair b/c i thought itd make me more succefwaul

PM: Oh dear.

YTB: LOL YE

YTB: o ttyl ogre at sixoclock

PM: Goodbye.

PM: I miss you.

I leave her alone for a bit, wandering away from my house, further into the grey soup. There's a clicking of talons on rock. I glance around, but I don't see Primatesprite anywhere.

"Harry? You there?" I call. Nothing. No answer.

My watch beeps, reading as messages from Tumblr.

[Tumblr (TMB) messaged Pottermore (PM)!]

TMB: hey wiz!kid

TMB: play the fanflute

TMB: do the flutey thing

TMB: go on #doit #justdoit

I glance up to the sky, in case I can see her watching me. My sylladex is still holding my bunk recorder, and I pull it out. Flipping Christ, I'm going to regret this.

I inhale, then try playing Hot Cross Buns. The damned thing screeches and wails, like I'm torturing it with a Cruciatus curse. It sounds like Hell's symphonic orchestra played on a chorus of oboes. I feel bad, but I complete the damn song anyways.

Once the ringing in my ears subsides, I manage to hear a deep call coming from far away. A roar, maybe? I look up into the fog, but I can't see anything. Have I pissed off an ultimate guardian or something?

There's a steady whumph, whumph, whumph and it sounds like it's heading my way, steadily growing louder.

"Tumblr! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" I call, hoping that she'll cut this out quickish.

Turns out, it's not Tumblr.

A beast with shining yellow scales and milky purple eyes lands in front of me, leathery wings folding and creasing. Hot air snarls in the base of it's throat, ghosting over jagged teeth and onto my face. The force of the landing is heavy enough to knock me off my feet and onto my back.

"Oh my God!" I back away, aiming my staff at it's head. It doesn't seem too perturbed, just inching closer, evaluating my snack value. "I'm not a piggy! I'm not a porker, okay? I've got big bones, and, and, um, I'm not very good! Tough, like! Don't eat me! I'm nasty, like!" I shout, waving my staff back and forth, hoping to deter it.

It inches closer, massive nostrils flaring as it smells me. A jade tongue rasps out, running up the side of my face. Blech!

"Oi! Cut that out! No tasting me!"

TMB: would u #cutthatshitout

TMB: it aint gonna fucking!eat you

"Hold that thought. And your tongue. Hear?" I tell the dragon, and go back to answering Tumblr.

PM: Please, love. Clarify for yours truly?

TMB: okay im #fastracking you here

PM: Fastrack away, by all means!

TMB: your in the land of fog and magic

TMB: LOFAM

PM: I've never seen you use capitals before.

TMB: and magic dont exist anywere else just in ur land okay

TMB: because magic is just #meaninglessbullshit

PM: WHAT

PM: BITCH YOU TAKE THAT BACK! THIS INSTANT! I DEMAND IT!

TMB: whatevs grow up its true

TMB: but LOFAMs full of magical creatures

TMB: and you've summoned one

PM: ...really.

TMB: yeah dude i thought that youd be happy or something

TMB: enjoy training her

PM: It's a her?

How can she even tell?

I raise my eyes from my watch, and regard the dragon, who's calmly watching me. I raise my hand forward, to touch what looks like a soft spot above her nose. It looks like the skin of a peach, fuzzed with a downy sort of yellow hair.

She snaps her mouth forwards, catching my hand in between her extremely large teeth, although not hard enough to take it off. I scream, and she lets go. "You're not actually real, are you?" I ask. There's no fuckin' way I'm getting a goddamn DRAGON. Not after I've gotten my Hogwarts Acceptance letter misplaced for five years!

"Figment. Thass your name. 'Cause you're not really real."

Figment barks, low in her throat, emitting a small burst of flame. The tongue's back, slurping me in dragon spit.

"Ahh! Figment! Fig! No! No tasting!"

Figment lies flat on her stomach, and from there it's an easy hop-skip-jump up behind her ears. "Hell yes. Fuck yes. Hell fucking yes. I'm sitting on a hallucinated dragon!"

Figment rumbles. She agrees with me!

"Okay. Fig! AWAY!"

I didn't think she'd actually do it, but away we do go. The scream is a bit high-pitched, considering it's me, but I manage to keep a firm grip on the staff and onto Fig's head. Hah! If only the twats at school could see me now! I'd get Fig to eat them! And set the school on fire! No more Potter the pig, no more PoMo the porker, that's for bloody sure.

Once we're up a bit, the fog clears up turning into cold greyish mist, and I get a closer look at the stars.

[Pottermore (PM) started a Group Chat!]

[Pottermore (PM) added Fanfiction Dot-net (FFN)!]

[Pottermore (PM) added Youtube (YTB)!]

[Pottermore (PM) added Ficwad Dot-com (FW)!]

PM: Hello everyone!

FFN: Ugh! About time!

FFN: The only messages I've gotten are from HSG! Where've you guys been?

FW: fyi youve not been in a hurry to message us eiter prick

FW: *Folds arms and glares*

FFN: What.

FW: im into rp

YTB: CAN ALL OF U JUST FUCKING CRAM IT OK

YTB: gfd u 2 are so fuckin petty

PM: Look. I know there's some bad blood going on, but I've got something important to say!

FW: *Ficwad-kun looks imperiously to Pottermore-Kun, and with interest, beckons him to what he has to say!*

PM: Err.

PM: Right.

PM: So listen up, blokes and tarts!

PM: Check out the stars!

YTB: u high or wat

PM: NO! YOU GUYS!

PM: Ficwaffle, when was your birthday?

FW: *Thinks* November 30th?

PM: Exactly! Guys, we've been in the game longer than originally thought!

FFN: You sound really excited!

PM: Guys.

PM: Merry Christmas.

FFN: Holy Sugar Honey Iced Tea!

FFN: You're joking!

FFN: Already?

YTB: shit didnt get u guiz nuthin

FW: YAAAAAAAAAYYYYY! MERRRY CHRISTMASS!

PM: It's me first Hols away from me mum.

YTB: 1st away from dad

FFN: First away EVER.

FW: aw fuck you guys ive always been alone :( :( :(

YTB: aww sorry bby

YTB: well change 4 u

YTB: merry grstms hun

PM: I remember last Christmas I got a sweater with my first initial knitted into it.

PM: But I wore it to school and I beat up. Worst nosebleed ever!

FFN: Last christmas my sister sent me a coconut! :D:

FW: FP and i had a mud fight bc there was no snow!

YTB: my dad got me a necklass and said i looked prety

PM: Me mum made cake for the first time.

FFN: I ate EVERYTHING OMG.

FW: hung up sticks from the ceiling bc no ornaments!

FW: OMG gonna go do thattttt NOW!

YTB: he said i looked like my mom Hulu

FFN: Christmas reruns!

PM: I miss those!

YTB: snowmen army bitches!

YTB: aint no christmas like a sweedish chritmas

FFN: No punctuation, no problem.

FFN: Hey dorkus

FFN: Ficwad, Fictionpress is looking for you.

FW: really?

FFN: She is so worried about you so don't die in the meantime. Okay?

Figment starts to slow, lowering back to the ground. Harry Primatesprite's loping over, wide monkey smile, looking happy to finally have found me. My staff lights up, white light spilling out and lighting up the dead grass and hard-packed dirt. Thick clouds start to gather overhead, puckering over the wound Fig left behind. And it starts snowing.