Every morsel in my body planted me to the ground watching, waiting for someone to shoot. Waiting for someone to plow over our weak fences and murder us all. Waiting for anything but a sort of stalemate between us and them…but nothing happened. I could faintly hear Rick shouting back, and The Governor shouting more back but it was muffled by shock and this door. My elbows were becoming pained from the death grip I had on the door anticipating every move that they would take. Then they did something to almost send me into a panic. Just beyond the fence I could make out Hershel and Michonne being dragged out onto the grass and forced onto their knees. I glared the thumping in my chest getting louder with every second I stared at them. They couldn't execute them here…not in front of everyone…I felt sadness along with the anger feeling an almost empathy for Beth and Maggie radiating off them from inside Cell Block C; the fear they must be feeling, the longing to shoot at Philip to release their father. Suddenly Daryl's eyes bore into mine from across the courtyard and he gave me a curt nod as Rick began to yank opens the gate. I wanted to scream out, wanted to stop him from going down there, but my voice felt lodged and it was impossible to talk with anxiety shaking my body. My eyes began to follow Daryl as he went up and down the line of people whispering what I could not even think about, then slowly, cunningly he started to hand out weapons with ease. I wished he was in here with me, to tell me what to do. Standing here by this door left me vulnerable and left out of whatever the plans were. Where was I to go? What was I to do? My mind goes to Keegan. Did anyone in A Block know what was going on? That was what I had to do. I turn around slamming the door shut and running up to Beth's room. I throw her things in a bag and grab Judith placing her in her carrier with her bag just to the side. Straggling along down the walkway I move to my room picking up all mine and Daryl's things and tossing them into my little backpack. I forget to think everything through, what we may need, what we may want I focused on food and triggering nostalgia. With the three bags and a baby slightly whining in her carrier I move to find the girls. "Mika!" I shout jogging down the halls to Cell Block A. "Mika!" The small blonde girl emerges followed by other kids. I kneel down. "I need you to take Judith and the other kids onto that gray bus okay?" I remember Daryl telling me about the bus. "Run quickly and stay low. Never take your eyes off Judith alright?" She nods taking the carrier a child with brown hair takes the bag and they're off. Something twinges inside of me making me doubt my decision to leave Judith in the hands of children, but I had a job to do. With a spinning head I enter A Block for the third time. "Keegan." I call out looking towards his room, but know I need to save energy so I decide to not go to it.

"What was that blast Rose?" It was Glenn emerging, still weary.

My composer falters. "It's The Governor. He formed a whole new army, he's got weapons…and a tank…I don't know if we'll make it this time." I see Keegan leave his room helping Alice walk along with him. "Rick is talking to him know, but we're taking safety precautions and getting everyone on the buses and prepared to leave when things go sour."

Glenn looks to the door. "Where is Maggie?"

"She's out there with the others. No one has fired yet." I decided to not mention Hershel for Glenn's irrational decision making. I feel hypocritical in this, but I am too focused on saving these people to care about my personality. "Please everyone." I raise my voice while sick, old, young, tired people stare at me from their cells not wanting to leave their sanctuary. "We need to pack up the most important things like food, water, and other essentials that are light and easy to move. We need to get you on the bus in case of an invasion." I hold my hands up to calm them. "I am sure that this is just a misunderstanding and Rick will have everything sorted out soon enough." It was reassurance for me, not them.

My eyes are on Keegan's almost watery. I didn't want to leave this place, not now at least. "You good?" he asked and I nod as he goes back to cell to pack up. I watch them all retreat into their once rooms to pick out important things and leave the dead weights. Some left quicker than others while most people left reluctantly. My throat tightens and I fight the urge not to scream out; the anger was building inside of me at Philip how much I wanted him dead. I began to become dizzy with vengeance, blinded by hatred for him to waltz into our home and treat us like vermin. "Let's go." He grips my arm pulling me out. His arm is wrapped around Alice helping her walk steadily while his other hand was laced with mine. "You alright?" he peeks down at me.

I nod. "Just angry."

"He is an asshole." Keegan smiles to try and make me feel better but it only worsen my mood. I pull away from him. "It is good to see you finally listening and staying out of dangerous situations." I nod but can't respond. "What made you decide to not be so stupid?" I cannot deal with his pokes at my intelligence, I have seen the wrongs in my way but changing how I think will take some time and what was I supposed to do? Let the walkers eat me if the situation walked upon me for once?

"Go ahead I want to make sure everyone gets out." He continues to walk not interfering with my choices no doubt getting Alice to safety on his mind. I count the heads, memorize the faces, and check for better heath to make sure they won't change on the bus as a few stragglers exit A Block. These people once belonged to Philip and now here they sat damaged once from this flu force to endure another one called The Governor. He was like a sickness; always coming back worse with each trip. Once the final elder left A Block I followed her out not effected by the decrease numbers since before the flu.

Glenn is perched against a wall in front of the group. "What are you stopping?"

"I need to find Maggie." He says looking downward.

I give him a light push but he won't budge. "She is out there Glenn." He shakes his head. "Glenn she will want you on that bus." He shakes his head again and I wondered if I was ever this stubborn with Daryl. I defiantly was not now, even though I wanted to get on that bus for safety I wanted to make sure everyone else was safe too. The gunfire makes us pick both our heads up and stare out the door. Glenn steps in front of me quickly shielding me like a hero. "Glenn, we have to go." I say sweat dripping from the side of my face. It was hot yes, but that was not the only thing causing me to sweat. I shove him hard with my right shoulder. "Move!" He glues his hand to the wall halting us from making any progress forward. I just want to get on that bus, get out of here in one piece, and everything turn out okay. For once, I am surprised at my will to follow directions. The prison shakes as dust clouds into the air around us screams could be heard coinciding with shots fired, but a new sound meets our perked hears. Walker moans.

Maggie comes sprinting into the corridor. "Glenn!" she cries out grabbing him and pulling him out of the door. "We got to get everyone on the bus." She tells me helping Glenn towards it. I follow her as we get rained on by gunfire smoke billowing from every wall and gun barrel. What had gone wrong? I lock my hands over my head to shield from debris as we run across the court yard. The quick action continues to pain my stomach and burn my legs. An old lady counts us as we get on the bus. My eyes flee to the back where those little girls should be.

"Where's Judith?" I asked the same time Maggie shouts. "Where's Beth?"

I almost begin to cry. Beth and Judith were missing. I feel my feet numbing and my fist curling and all I want to do is curl up and cry. I watch Maggie run off the bus back into the war and I feel myself doing the same but take a seat trying to calm down. 'She'll be okay…she'll be okay…' I whisper in my head squeezing my eye shut tight curling and uncurling my hands on the bus seat. I want to leave the bus, I want to go find my family, but I know what is best and that is me staying on the bus. How I envied Maggie? To be that brave and able to go back into that war and fight for us was all I could wish for. I peer down at my stomach slightly cold towards the huge weight. Guilt rushes through my body as similar feelings invade, similar to how I felt towards Lori. Don't think like that…you can't change what is happening. I feel myself rocking to soothing thoughts convincing myself these hatred thoughts are coming from an older version of myself; that reckless, immature, idiot version of myself. My eyes wander out into the field watching The Governor and Rick beat the living daylight out of each other. Then slowly they begin to fade from my vision; the bus pulled away. "Stop!" I jump to my feet wobbling from the speed. "Stop the bus!"

The man turns back to glance at me then turns forward again. "We have to get out of there Miss."

"My friends are back there!" I scream at him. "We can't just leave them there! We have to go back!" I scream reaching for the wheel but he pushes me backwards. I turn around to get Keegan or Glenn to help me but their faces cannot be found in the crowd of unknown survivors. They must have disappeared while I slipped off into my own thoughts. I knew nobody on this bus, even Alice is gone. When had Glenn gotten off? Keegan? I can't hear the engine or the speeding tires, all I hear is my heart beating loudly in my ears my brain ringing with recklessness. I bring my fist up and punch the driver square in the side of the head knocking him into the window. "Stop the bus!" I yell raising my fist again. "I don't care if we crash." I glare pulling out my gun and pointing it at his head as his foot eases onto the break bringing us to a halt. "My husband is back there, my brother and sister now you either turn this bus around and go back or let me out."

The driver, who I had no idea was, looks sympathetically at me then flickers his eyes to my stomach. I see his hand quivering on the steering wheel and the tapping of his foot as he urges to speed as far away from that death prison being destroyed. With a slight hesitation he pulls the bus door open. I expect him to say something, or maybe send someone with me but he just watches me with expected eyes. I couldn't back down now. I eye the door panic rising in my veins; I had not thought he would agree to that one. "Thank you." I say though and walk down the steps knowing I should have threatened him more to keep me on. The doors close softly behind me and he peels away. A part of me doesn't care they left me, I knew no one on that bus, but I know I should have stayed on. I could still see the smoke clearly rising from the broken prison so we couldn't have gotten that far from. I wonder how I could find everyone. Would they come running this way? Or would I have to search through corpses? I pick up my speed thoughts of Daryl drenching my brain. He would survive no doubt, he was tough without worries of me and I had proved I would listen apart from now, but he would understand. I see the grey walls approaching, the broken down fences and the increasing amounts of walkers in the courtyard. Breath does not come easy to me as I lightly jog up the road we just took from the prison. I hear three faint shots coming from the walls from straggling survivors, but who was left? Who was lost? Who had not gone away at all? Who had run? Who had fought? Who had come back? Me; of course, I had to come back for my family. My stomach pains me slightly walking back into the prison smoke floating around like fog in the morning. Shots had died away and all I could hear was the grumble of walkers staggering around looking for food. "Daryl!" I call out seeing if he was still here. "Daryl!" I want to walk further into the prison but I could not see much through the smoke and I knew there were walkers in there, too much for myself to handle. "Daryl! I try one last time feeling my throat closing. If he was not here where would he be? "Keegan! Alice! Beth!" Tears are now in my eyes at my failed attempt to find them. Where were they? "Rick! Michonne! Maggie!" Where was everybody? I want to stay, I want to keep looking to find them hiding but these walkers, these monsters lurked in the shadows of this graveyard just waiting for me to make a stupid decision. I turn away from the prison knowing very well if they weren't in there and dead they were running from the prison. I wipe my face walking the steps I just took away from my home not destroyed and decayed like the walkers around us. One thing makes me slightly content; The Governor is dead. If he and his men and not answered my calls they were surly dead and gone.

My breath is hitched high as I can't stop the tears from falling. Pain was obvious in my stomach and it was hard to move quickly down the road. "Daryl!" I call out again guessing he might have taken to the woods. I don't get time to guess really as walkers emerge from the left side of the road. I panic and take off into the right side of the woods, but enjoy my action for if I had went the other way I would end up to the front of the prison where more walkers were. My breathing is heavy as I run through the trees knowing I wasn't running fast enough. "Daryl!" I screamed long and dragged out my voice cracking as my breath became short. My lungs felt as though they would burst and my legs were on fire, not to mention the discomfort in my stomach. Walkers growled from behind me. They were on my tail. All I had was one gun with a bullet count unknown. I don't know where I am going, I don't know which direction I came from, I don't know if I am heading the right way or running around in circles. All I know is that if I stop I am surly dead. Perhaps death was better. Perhaps stopping now and dying would save me from running for the rest of my life. Perhaps I could finally get some peace. All we do is run. I hear Maggie's voice through my foggy brain as trees brush past me in a smell of moss. I am tired of running. I am tired of never being safe. I am tired of losing everything. I think of Daryl, I think of his face, his voice, his words…I think of how I may never find him while I run. He was the only one that could possible ever make me feel alive in this world of dead, and now he was gone. Now my other half was missing leaving me alone. Completely, and utterly alone. I feel rushed in my dying thoughts, I feel my head ringing with the need to speak what I have been holding back for so long, but nothing comes to mind. I wish I could have held my baby just once before we both die. I wish I could have saved my parents. I wish I could have killed Martin myself. I wish I could have kept Keegan close to me on that bus. I wish…I wish…I wish.

I scream falling against a tree, not because I am facing death with a brave face, but because a pain shoots through my body so strong it forces my weight forward. I don't know if I am crying because I am sad, or tired, or in pain, but tears fall freely from my face. I hear walkers just behind me so I push away from the tree and try to keep moving forward but I double forward crying out in agony again. They were gaining on me. I toss my head over my shoulders seeing them break through the trees a couple yards back. I had the speed over them, but if I stopped too soon they would catch up. I begin to run a couple feet before having to lean up against another tree again. "Why…" I shake my head leaning against the cool bark hearing their moans get louder. My fingers curl against the bark as I launch a quivering scream I can't hold him. I throw myself away from the tree taking a sharp left to confuse their directions but I have to keep stopping to ease a never ending pain. My body felt like it was being squeezed through a very tiny pressurized tube and the only thing that helped was stopping, but I couldn't stop. I thought you wanted to die? Nobody wants to die. Not me; not today. I stop suddenly a wave of relief washing over me as pain leaves my body for a few seconds. It comes back stronger than ever the same time the shock set into my body.

My water broke.

So this chapter was meant to go in a totally other directions but I have had to reconsider some things.

I did not want Rose not be in on all the action because

-she's really freaking pregnant

-she stupid as hell sometimes

And I thought it would be clever to put her in the woods on her own like she had seen in her dreams.

Tell me what you think please

lot's of love xoxo-kate