Steve opened the door to the Cheating Heart and stepped inside the darkened bar. A quick glance around told him the place was almost empty. Not surprising for late on a Monday afternoon.

After leaving Wings, Steve had wandered aimlessly through the park and along the pier. He knew Kayla was expecting him at home, but he did not know how to face her right now. He did not know what he feared most - her inevitable disappointment in him or her happiness that he would not be rejoining the police force.

A voice in his head told him he was being unfair. Kayla had never judged him, even when he deserved it the most. And, deep down, he knew that she would be supportive and understanding even if she had not liked the idea of him going back to the Salem PD. Yet, he still could not make himself go home. So he had found himself at the Cheating Heart instead.

Maybe a beer or two would calm him down and give him some time to figure out how to explain it all to Kayla. He knew she would not be happy when she found out he had slugged Shane - no matter how much the bastard deserved it. Unbidden, another thought crossed his mind. Maybe what he was really afraid of was that Kayla would agree with Shane - and Abe.

Steve settled into a barstool with a beer and a shot. He had had to promise Jimmy that he would not cause any more trouble before Jimmy would serve him. Great, Steve thought to himself. Even the bartender is wondering if I'm crazy or not.

He downed the shot, chased it with his beer, and ordered another round. As he watched Jimmy pour the drinks, Steve's thoughts drifted back to Kayla. In a million years, he would never understand what he had done to deserve her love.

As he looked around the dark and dingy bar, Steve thought about how much of their early relationship had played out in this very spot. He would never forget how Kayla had walked into the Heart and challenged him to a game of pool, so intent on proving that their worlds were not as far apart as he thought. Everything in him had told him to run away - to not let her into his heart. But his fears were ultimately no match for Kayla's determination.

Steve finished off the second shot and felt his body finally begin to relax as the alcohol did its job. He ordered a third round, ignoring the concerned look that Jimmy gave him. When the drinks were put in front of him, he stood up and moved to a booth in the back.

As he sat down, another memory hit him. It was Kayla, tears in her eyes, slapping him after seeing him kiss the waitress. Funny, Steve thought, he couldn't even remember the woman's name. She had been friendly enough and had not seemed to mind him using her to convince Kayla he no longer loved her. But he could no longer remember her name, or even her face. All he could see in his mind was the look of hurt and betrayal on Kayla's face.

Steve downed the third shot, trying to drive that memory away. He had hurt Kayla so badly, all because he thought he had the right to play God with her life and with Jack's life. And still she had forgiven him. Looking back, he had really never even considered the idea that she might not. In some ways, it had always been that way. He would screw up and Kayla would forgive him. Marina, Jack, his work for Victor, his past in general. No matter what it was, Kayla had always forgiven him. As he finished off his beer, Steve could not help but wonder when Kayla would finally grow tired of it.

God knows, he was tired of it himself.

Time passed and Steve had several more rounds. At some point, he ate some dinner that Jimmy forced upon him under threat of being cut off. Several times, Steve decided to get up and find his way home. Each time, fear had stopped him.

Steve did not know how long he had been sitting in that booth when, through blurry eyes, he saw Jack walk in the door.

"Jackson!" Steve slurred as Jack approached his table. "What are you doing in this fine establishment? Slumming?"

"No," Jack replied, carefully studying Steve before sitting down. "I was actually looking for you."

"Well you found me, didn't you?" Steve signaled for the waitress. "What are you drinking?"

"It looks like you've had enough for both of us." Jack eyed the empty shot glasses piled on the table.

"Well, Billy Jack, you can either join me in a drink or you can leave." Steve's tone left no room for argument.

Jack nodded and ordered his drink as Steve ordered yet another round. "So why were you looking for me?" Steve asked, once the waitress left.

"Um . . . actually . . . Kayla called me." Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"What?" Steve asked, starting to rise. "Is she okay? Is something wrong?"

"She's fine, Steve," Jack said quickly. "From what I can tell, the bartender called her and said you might need some help getting home."

"And she called you?" Steve could not help but be surprised about that.

"Yeah." Jack shrugged. "It surprised me too."

They sat in silence for a moment as the waitress returned with their drinks. Jack sipped his as Steve downed yet another shot.

"So. . . ." Jack's voice was hesitant and unsure. "Do you want to tell me why you're here, drowning your sorrows - if that's what they are - instead of at home with Kayla and Stephanie?"

Steve stiffened, as he always did when Jack mentioned Kayla. Then he felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he realized it could not have been easy for Kayla to call Jack. He hung his head - just one more way he had let Kayla down.

"Steve?" Jack prompted.

Steve eyed Jack. "Are you looking for a story or what?"

"No, I'm not looking for a story," Jack protested. He hesitated again, then said. "I know that our . . . relationship has hardly been typical, but before you . . . um . . . before the accident, we were getting closer - almost like brothers." He looked down at his drink. "I just thought maybe it would help if you talked about it-"

"To my brother?" Steve asked, interrupting Jack.

"Yeah, I guess." Jack shrugged. "Couldn't hurt, right?"

"Okay, Jackson." Steve drained his beer and signaled for another round. "Long story shirt . . . er short. I went to see Abe Carver about getting back on the Salem PD. But I found out that 'Double-0-Donovan' had already talked to Carver. Apparently, Mr. ISA's opinion that I'm 'not ready' to be a cop again is the only thing that matters. I guess nearly getting killed on duty doesn't count for anything."

"Why would Shane do that?" Jack asked quietly.

"Why the hell does Donovan do anything?" Steve spat bitterly. "Why bring me home if all he was going to do is mess with my life?"

Jack was silent as the waitress brought the drinks. Steve downed yet another shot and tried to focus on Jack's face. Unfortunately, there were currently three of them and he was not sure which was the right one.

"So it was Shane who found you." Jack's words were a statement not a question. "I knew that Cincinnati story sounded phony."

Steve cringed when he realized what he had said. Some small sober part of his brain told him to stop now, to get up, and tell Jack to take him home. But the rest of him did not care. Why should I keep Donovan's stupid secret?Besides, Shane or Kayla must have told Roman, since he had sent Kayla the wedding rings to England. So why can't I tell Jack?

"Yeah, Shane found me," Steve slurred drunkenly. "Or so he says." He again tried to focus on Jack, but everything was growing more and more blurry. He saw Jack take something from his pocket but could not focus on what it was. Before he could ask, Jack signaled for another round to be brought to the table.

"So, uh, what really happened then," Jack asked as he pushed the shot glass towards Steve. "It must be one hell of a tale."

Steve downed the shot, feeling the room start to spin a bit. "All right, Jack. I'll tell you what happened. Just remember you can't tell anybody."

"Sure," Jack said, downing his drink. "It'll be just between you and me."