Steve felt the familiar pounding in his head. His mouth was dry and his stomach was churning. In that moment, Steve knew it had all been a dream. He hadn't been rescued from the hellhole. He hadn't been reunited with his wife and daughter. It had all been just another dream induced by whatever poison they had forced down this throat.

Steve kept his eye shut tight, wanting to hold on to the dream as long as possible. He knew, once he opened his eyes, he would see nothing but the dingy walls that had faced him for longer than he cared to remember.

And then he heard it. Her voice. That was impossible . . . unless it wasn't all a dream.

Steve carefully opened his eye, trying to ignore the stabbing pain he felt when the light entered. He turned his head slightly, waited for the room to stop spinning, and focused on the direction her voice was coming from. She was there and so was Stephanie. And so was Caroline.

"Thanks for coming to pick Stephanie up," Kayla said softly.

"It's no problem, dear." Steve quickly shut his eye as Caroline looked in his direction. "I just hope Steve feels better soon."

"I'm sure he will." Steve recognized the tone of Kayla's voice and knew she was not happy with him.

Steve opened his eye again and watched as Kayla kissed Stephanie goodbye. He tried to sit up and say something, but his body did not seem to want to cooperate at the moment. He watched as Kayla closed the door, turned, and walked towards him.

"Steve? Are you awake?"

It took him a moment but Steve finally pried his tongue off the roof of his mouth and spoke. "I'm not sure," he said honestly. "Are you really here?"

Kayla's eyes widened in surprise at his response. After a few seconds, Kayla reached out and took his hand. "Yes, I'm really here. Can you feel me holding your hand?"

Steve could not help but smile as relief washed over him. It wasn't just a dream. He really was home. But then why did he feel so horrible?

"What happened?" he asked Kayla. He raised his head and looked around, realizing for the first time that he was lying on the couch in the living room of their apartment. "Why am I out here?"

"You don't remember?" Kayla's voice was anything but sympathetic.

Remember what? Steve thought to himself. He slowly struggled into a semi-upright position and ran his hand over his face, waiting for the pounding and nausea to ease. As he sat there staring into the face of his clearly displeased wife, he tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Then he remembered. He had gone to see Abe Carver and had been told he was unfit for police duty. Then he had tracked down Donovan. Steve looked down and saw the bruises on his knuckles. I guess that wasn't a dream either.

Steve dropped his head into his hands. "I guess I tied one on pretty good last night."

"Yeah I guess you did." Kayla's tone was chilly.

"I remember being at the Heart," Steve said, still trying to process everything. "But how did I get home?"

Kayla sighed and sat down in the chair beside the couch. "Jimmy called me and said you were drinking pretty heavily and might need a ride home. I called Bo, but he wasn't home. Marcus was on duty at the hospital, and I didn't think Roman was the best choice."

Steve gave a slight nod. Having the police commander come pick him up from the bar after being rejected for reinstatement would probably not have been a good thing. "So what did you do?"

"I called Jack." Kayla shrugged. "He is your brother and, since you were obviously upset enough to go the bar and start drinking, I thought you might need somebody to talk to. Even if it was Jack."

Steve flinched at the bitterness in Kayla's voice. "So Jack brought me home?"

"Eventually," Kayla replied. "He showed up a few hours after I called him. He and his driver brought you in and put you on the couch."

Steve was silent. He had no memory of even seeing Jack the night before, did he? He searched his brain, as much as it was willing to be searched at the moment. He had a vague recollection of Jack sitting at a table at the Heart, but it was unconnected to any other memory.

Kayla got up and walked into the kitchen. A few moments later she returned with a glass of water and a couple of Tylenol.

"Here," she said, her voice still cold. "Take these."

Steve did as he was told and then set the glass on the coffee table. "I'm sorry, baby." Steve cringed at the inadequacy of his own words. "I know those are only words, but I really am sorry."

"I know," Kayla said. She sounded tired. "Do you think you could eat something? I can make you some toast."

"Don't, Kayla." Steve voice was sharp. "I don't want you to make me toast. I know you're mad at me . . . and God knows I deserve it, so just be honest about it."

Kayla sat down again and looked at him. "I'm not mad, Steve. I'm hurt and I'm confused and mostly I'm just scared."

"Scared?" Steve said, confused.

"Scared for us," Kayla replied as tears filled her eyes. "Your meeting with Abe obviously went badly. But instead of coming home and talking to me about it, you decided to go to a bar and get drunk. What does that say about our relationship? You couldn't even call me and tell me."

"That's not true, Kayla," Steve protested. "I . . ." He stopped, unsure of how to explain.

"You what?" Kayla snapped. "If this has nothing to do with us, then why didn't you come home? Why didn't you at least call me? Why did I have to find where you were from the bartender?"

"Because I was ashamed." Steve nearly choked on the words. He saw Kayla's eyes widen in surprise. "Sweetness, when we got married, I promised you and myself that I would take care of you and our family." Steve stood unsteadily. "Look at me, Kayla. I couldn't even get that lousy warehouse job and then Abe. . . ." He stopped, trying to control himself.

"What happened with Abe?" Kayla asked gently.

Steve rolled his eye. "Apparently he talked to Donovan and, after that little talk, Abe decided I wasn't ready to return to the force yet." Steve sank back onto the couch. "He thinks I'm crazy, Kayla."

"Abe said that?" Kayla sounded shocked.

"Not in so many words," Steve replied bitterly. "But it's clearly what he was thinking - what Mr. ISA told him."

"I'm sorry," Kayla said softly.

"Are you?" Steve's voice was quiet and sincere. "We both know you didn't want to go back on the force."

Kayla looked surprised, then sighed. "I guess I can't blame you for asking that question, but yes, I'm sorry. I won't pretend that I was happy about your decision, but I didn't want something like this to happen." She paused. "And I'm very sorry if I made you feel like you couldn't turn to me when it did."

"Don't apologize." Steve shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong, baby. I did. I didn't go to the bar because I didn't think you would understand. I went to the bar because I knew you would."

"What?" Kayla said, clearly confused.

Steve sighed. He wished he could get up and pace around, but he was not sure his body was ready for that. "From the very beginning, you've always understood, Kayla. You've always forgiven me, even when I didn't come close to deserving it." He stopped and drew a shaky breath. "And I'm scared to death that, one of these days, you are going to realize that you shouldn't have to be so understanding and forgiving - that you deserve better than that."

"Steve-"

"No, baby," Steve said, cutting her off. "Don't deny it. Just look at how I've been since I got back. I've been an ass, Sweetness. And I've taken it for granted that you'll just understand and forgive me for it - every time." Steve forced himself to stand again and walked over to Kayla. He saw a tear fall down her cheek and he silently wiped it away.

"I don't want you to apologize to me, Kayla. Not for what happened while I was gone and not for being honest with me about how you felt about my rejoining the force." Steve gingerly knelt down beside Kayla's chair. "I wish I could promise that I will stop having to apologize to you, but I can't. But I can promise to try and be better and I can promise to never take your love for granted again."

Kayla gently ran her hand down Steve's face. "How about we both promise to try and be better?" she said tenderly. "We're a team, after all. So let's work on this together."

Steve nodded, unable to speak. He took her hand and gently kissed the palm. He gave a soft smile and said, "I guess we can work on this since neither one of us is working."

Kayla returned the smile. "Actually, that's not quite true."

"What do you mean, Sweetness?"

"I heard from the state board yesterday." Kayla's smile grew. "I've been officially reinstated."

Steve smiled broadly. "That's great, baby." Then his smiled faded and he hung his head. "God, I really am an ass. I should have been here to celebrate with you."

"I think you did enough 'celebrating' for the both of us last night," Kayla teased. More seriously, she added, "I wish you would have been here, but what's done is done. Let's put that behind us and move forward, okay?"

Steve nodded. "So when do you go back to work?"

Kayla hesitated. "Umm . . . I'm not really sure. I need to go down to the hospital and fill out some paperwork tomorrow and then talk to Neil. I'll have more details then."

"You won't be the only one in the family working for long," Steve said earnestly. "I'm going to find a job soon, I promise."

"I know," Kayla said simply. "I believe that."

Steve smiled, knowing that she would never understand what those words meant to him. She believed him. No, even better, she believed in him. Standing he glanced down at his dirty, wrinkled and smelly clothes. "How about I get cleaned up and then we can go pick up Stephanie and spend the day together?"

"That sounds great," Kayla replied. "But I don't think my mom is expecting us until this afternoon. After all, you're supposed to have the flu."

"We'll just tell her that your love cured me." Steve leaned down and kissed Kayla on the cheek and headed for their bedroom. He passed at the entrance to the hall, turned back, and looked at Kayla. "After all it's the truth."