Another one tonight. I want to see how many I can do tonight. Depends on how much spare time I get.

Chapter 16

It's been two weeks since they last saw each other but here they both were. They didn't arrange to meet like this. Spencer was supposed to be at work and so was Paige and yet they both found themselves drifting to the place where it all started, but for different reasons.

Spencer was coming to apologize to Emily for dragging her into this mess. She finally admitted to herself that it was all paranoia on her end and that Paige hadn't really given her any reason to doubt her commitment to her. Paige was stopping by to beg Emily to stop leading her on because she was tormented and torn and she didn't want to keep hurting.

Of course neither one of them was willing to admit that to the other so the conversation was rather stilted.

"Hey" started Paige.

"Hey" mocked Spencer. "You don't write... you don't call... what's a girl to think?"

"I'm sorry. I just had a lot on my mind."

"I'll bet."

"Can we just please stop? Can we get a do-over? I don't like the way this is heading and I don't know how to make it stop."

"It's easy, just admit you want her so we can be done."

"Whether or not that's true, it doesn't affect the way I feel about you."

"And how is that?"

"I love you"

"Yeah, but you love her too."

"She was important to me, it's true, I'm not gonna deny that. She used to be the reason I woke up in the morning but what we had was gone, Spence. It's not there anymore. You can't breathe life into something that's already dead. Believe me, it's over. Even if I wanted to - which, I don't, but even if I did want to- be with Emily again, she's got Alison now" she choked out "And she doesn't need me anymore."

"She might not need you but what would you do if she wants you? I can't be your last resort, Paige, I can't do that. I can't live my life hoping Emily doesn't wake up and decide to take back what was once hers"

"Don't I get a say in this? Do you really think I'd up and leave you like that? You think so little of me?"

"No. I don't. But I know who you'd want to be with, even when you're with me, and I know my heart wont take it."

"Spencer, what can I do to help you believe that you're the one I want to be with?"

"There's nothing you can do to make me believe it."

"So I guess this is it then? Goodbye?" She asked, completely deflated.

"Yeah, I guess so. It's the best thing."

"I hope that one day you see the truth"

"You know what they say about hope? Breeds eternal misery."

Paige sniffled once, trying to hold back the tears, and she pulled Spencer closer by the lapels and held her close for a moment. She wanted to kiss her but she didn't want a last kiss. She didn't dare. So she settled for resting her forehead against hers and breathing in the same air for as long as possible. When she felt the breeze threaten to freeze the tears that were now streaking down her face she pulled away and started walking back to her car. Before she left though she whispered "You were NEVER a last resort or a second pick or any of that crap. You were always Spencer"