AN: Alright y'all…I've decided to take a stab at writing a mild romance scene. To say I'm petrified would be an understatement. Please review, I need feedback on whether it sucked horribly or was a credible start. And for everyone clamoring for Brucas…this chapter is dedicated to you! XO, Z
"Oh man, I needed that party," Brooke sighed as she flopped down on Peyton's couch.
"You and me both B. Davis!" Peyton was feeling giddy from the drinks she'd had at Karen's.
"It's so good to see you Goldilocks! I am convinced you're the only one out of us all that has any semblance of decent timing." Brooke winked and then broke into a fit of giggles as she thought about the events of the night. She'd had one too many drinks at the party, but felt she'd been entitled. Shit, she'd just slapped Lucas' girlfriend in front of him and nearly half of Tree Hill! But the alcohol was starting to affect her mood.
"You referring to the little scene I walked in on?" Brooke nodded, anger flashing in her eyes as she momentarily thought about that slutty bitch. "Just who was that girl anyways?" Peyton had held her tongue during the party, but had dragged her best friend away as soon as possible for the full story. Now she was itching to find out what had happened.
"Ooo that tramp made me so mad. Waltzing in like she owned the damn place, and just hanging all over Lucas! In front of Karen! And then the things she said to me! She's damn lucky I didn't jump her ass and pull some hair!" Brooke was all of a sudden on her feet stomping around the house, the alcohol fueling her rant.
"Hey hey! Easy! Do try to remember that we're on the second floor! So that was Luke's girlfriend? Geez, I thought he had better taste than that!" Peyton watched as the petite brunette kept pacing, but at least now she couldn't feel Brooke's stomping through the couch.
"Sorry Peyt. I'm telling you, if it hadn't been for Lucas and Karen and the fact it was Christmas, you would have walked in on one helluva catfight!"
"Damn, I woulda paid good money to see you fight. I haven't seen a decent clawfest in years!" Peyton dodged a pillow as Brooke tossed it at her head, laughing.
"Thank you for being there for me Peyt. You've always had my back."
"You know it! So spill! What brings you to Tree Hill, how come you slapped Luke's girlfriend, and why were Nathan and Haley cheering for you?"
"Oh man, this is going to be a long story. You wouldn't happen to have any ice cream would you?" Brooke whined just that tiny bit, hoping her best friend would remember their emergency kit days.
"Of course! A freezer can't be called a freezer without some ice cream to freeze!" Peyton jumped off the couch and disappeared, returning a few moments later with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and two spoons. Brooke, grinning fit to crack, settled down on the couch next to her curly haired friend and dug in.
"Alright, so how long has it been since you talked to anyone in Tree Hill?" Brooke was trying hard to organize her thoughts. So much had happened in so little time, it was proving difficult to remember where it all started.
"I heard about Lily's death. I had ran into Skillz in Washington and he'd mentioned that one of the guys on the team had told him about it. I was hurt that no one had said anything to me about it, but I was so slammed with stuff for the record label that I just didn't have time to deal with it."
"Okay, well then you know more than I did when I first got here. I didn't even know about Lily! They all had hid it from me for a year, and now we're in this shitty spot and I'm not sure how we're going to work through it." Brooke sighed, fighting hard not to break into tears. These emotional ups and downs were starting to take a toll on her fighting strength.
"Eat more ice cream and keep talking. I've got the tissues within arm's reach if we need them." Peyton heard the strain in her friend's voice. Her heart aching for her, she tried her best to lighten the situation.
"Thanks. Trying to make me fat now are ya?!" Brooke smirked, letting the tension loosen up for a moment. "Alright, so, after Lily's death, Karen got hurt by the same asshole jerk that caused Lily's death, and Lucas stepped in like the hero we all love him for, and ran the scumbag out of town. According to Haley, Lucas took the whole situation really bad, and he fell into this black hole. Started drinking every night and pulling away from friends. Nathan and some other guys tried to help, but he kept pushing and pushing. Finally, this one chick seemed to make some difference, or at least she took over the late night rescues from the bar, and everyone else struggled to regain some semblance of normal life."
"Wow. Poor Lucas! I wish I had known what was going on! I'd have come back to help, or done something!" The slim blonde was shocked! She had no idea all this was going on in her town!
"You and me both! I was more than a little pissed when Haley finally came clean about everything. She said that Lucas had insisted she not say anything, and by the time she'd finally decided enough was enough, too much shit had happened and she couldn't bring herself to tell me."
"So how'd you end up back home?"
"A couple days before Christmas I got a phone call from Rachel begging me to go back. But she wouldn't tell me why, so I called Haley and she said Lucas needed me. So of course, I had to come. When have I ever been able to say no to anything concerning my Broody?" Her voice had fallen to a whisper, almost as if she was afraid to take possession of the sexy man out loud.
Nodding, Peyton let Brooke gather her nerve to keep going. She'd always known how much Brooke loved the blue eyed hunk, and had silently wondered why fate was so cruel to keep tearing them apart. Shoving the pint back to Brooke, she sat and looked at her best friend.
Brooke hadn't changed much. Same luscious brunette hair, sparkling hazel eyes that gave away everything she was feeling, slender figure, stylish clothes. Peyton on the other hand had changed more than she'd thought she could have. She'd straightened her hair and had let more of her natural color show through. She had taken to wearing trendier clothing, having kept up with the fashion magazine Brooke had been editing for some time. Her job at the record label had required she develop some tact when dealing with clients, and she'd learned how to hold her tongue. All the changes she'd gone through hadn't altered her inherent loyalty though. She'd always be there for her friends. Especially Brooke.
"I ran into Lucas my first day here. I hadn't even been in town for more than a couple hours before he was standing on Nathan's doorstep. I swear, it's like he and I have this other worldly connection. So anyways, we talked for a little while, and then all of a sudden he took off. After getting the scoop from Haley, I found him walking at three in the morning in the freezing cold and nearly beat him for being so stupid. Instead I ended up wrapping him in blankets and sleeping with him. No, not like that!!" Peyton's eyebrows shot up, and she had to dodge another pillow as Brooke denied any sexual activities.
"You know everyone is convinced you two belong together. I don't know why you guys keep ending up apart." There'd been so much happen to them as a couple, she didn't know if she'd have had the strength Brooke had to keep fighting.
"That's not what's at stake right now though. I'm just here to help Lucas get back to normal, and then I'll be going back home. I can't stay here and watch him move on without me." Brooke sniffed hard, trying to keep tears from falling.
"What?! Why do you think he's moved on?" Peyton was shocked. Here she was thinking Brooke and Lucas might finally have the chance to open up, set right all the wrongs, and start again, and Brooke's talking about leaving? Huh?
"Well duh! Earth to blondie! Has all the hair color finally gone to your head?! He's with someone!" Brooke huffed a little, annoyed that she had to explain to Peyton something that she'd thought was clearly obvious.
"That bitch doesn't count, and you know it. We've all had our meaningless relationships while we pine after someone else. Just because Lucas is with Amber, and I'd be seriously surprised if he's still with her after today, doesn't mean he doesn't want you."
"That may be true, but I don't want to complicate matters. He's had enough to deal with since Lily's death, I don't need to go throwing in a monkey wrench by telling him I never got over him. Shit! I'd be married right now if it hadn't been for the miscarriage –" Brooke was so upset that she didn't even realize she'd let slip her deep dark secret.
"The WHAT?!!?" Peyton nearly jumped down Brooke's throat. Married? Miscarriage? What the fuck!
"Whoops!" Fuck! Smooth move Brookie. You've done it now! Brooke wished sincerely that she could open up the cracks in the wooden floor and fall through into oblivion.
"Oh hell no. 'Whoops' so does not cover this. You were pregnant! And about to get married?!"
"Peyt, calm down. I wasn't going to get married. I was stupid one night, got too drunk, and wasn't protecting myself. Yes, I was pregnant, but a couple weeks later I miscarried the baby, and by then I'd already turned down the guy's proposal. I wasn't about to be trapped in an honor-bound marriage because I'd let things get the better of me and fucked things up. I was horrified when I lost the baby, but relieved at the same time." Silent tears slipped down Brooke's cheeks as she thought back on the hell she'd gone through after miscarrying.
Slamming down into the couch next to Brooke, all anger forgotten, she wrapped her best friend in the biggest hug she could manage. The sudden offer of friendship and total compassion was too much, and Brooke broke into huge sobs.
Peyton sat with Brooke in her arms, absently rubbing her back while thinking back on all the horrible things that had happened to the pretty brunette. How much they'd gone through together. And she felt horrible for losing touch with Brooke when she would have needed a friend the most.
Brooke, on the other hand, was crying out years of frustration and loneliness and depression and fear. Fear that she'd made the wrong choice in leaving in the first place, frustration that she'd had to spend so long away from the man she'd always loved, it all just came pouring out. Finally, her tears spent, she just sat within the embrace of her long time friend, and thought.
I'm not strong enough for this. I can't help Lucas when I can't even keep myself together. I've been running from everything for so long. Sighing, Brooke pulled herself from Peyton's grasp, and wiped her eyes. Smiling gratefully at her friend, she tried to pull herself together.
"Oh man. Look at your shirt! I'm so sorry Peyt." It was the first thing she noticed and the first thing she said. Trust Brooke to notice a fashion fiasco above everything else.
The best friends looked at each other for a moment, then burst into giggles. They couldn't help it. This time tears of laughter fell, and they were both so relieved from all the stress that it was hard to stop. Taking in deep breaths of air, they would try to stop laughing only to bust into another fit when they'd look at each other.
"What are you girls doing up here?" Peyton's dad poked his head around the corner of Peyton's door, concern in his eyes. When he saw they were laughing, he smiled, shook his head, and excused himself again. They suddenly felt like they were back in high school again.
"Oh wow. That was good. Hand over that ice cream P. Sawyer before it all melts." Digging her spoon in, Brooke suddenly felt years younger. How she'd missed her spunky best friend.
"So does anyone else know about the miscarriage?" Peyton knew that Brooke wasn't done dealing with everything, and it was best to get it all out there instead of sweeping it back under the proverbial rug.
"No. And that's where I am having a hard time with this. I've dealt with the loss now. I'm more nervous about how I'm supposed to help Lucas deal with all his secrets and pain when I'm keeping ones of my own." Brooke's eyes were downcast as she absently licked her spoon clean.
"Brookie, listen. You're stronger than you know. Trust me, I know you. Ten to one, you're sitting there thinking about how you're not strong enough, you can't help him, this was all a big mistake, and you need to leave. Well, I'm calling the bull shit flag. You're one of the strongest to ever come out of our little group of high school friends, and everyone but you knows it."
"Ha! Yeah right."
"No seriously! You fought against everything, and in the end you achieved your dream! Sure, your life isn't perfect, but you came when Lucas needed you, and now it's your turn to do the saving, and his turn to be the one who's getting saved. You can do it, you can help Lucas find himself again."
"I wish I had your conviction Goldilocks. I really do. But I don't know that I can risk letting him back in. Because that's what its going to take. I'm going to have to let him back inside my walls so he can see he's not alone. And I don't think I could handle having to walk away from him again." Brooke's voice was almost a whisper, a stark contrast to Peyton's ever stronger tone.
"Who says you have to walk away?! There's no telling what is going to come of all this. Who knows, you two may never end up together, but instead just be friends. But it'll be the strongest friendship this town's ever seen, and you both will be the better for it. Besides, would being with the love of your life be so bad?"
"Of course not! But that's not the point! He's already with a girl! And I've got a life in New York. I can't just pick up and leave it for some guy!"
"He's not just some guy and you know it. Listen, just give it a chance. Help Lucas, and keep your heart open to any possibility. Don't close down and run away just because he's with someone. He needs you, you need him, and everyone here needs you both to be okay. Alright?" She peered at Brooke, hoping she'd agree. Brooke nodded, a light glimmering in her eyes. Maybe everything would be okay. They'd suffered enough for a thousand life times, they were entitled to some happiness, right??
- - - - -
"Hales! I'm back!" Brooke pushed the door as she slipped her key from the lock. They'd given her the key after she went wandering the first night.
The house was strangely quiet for being so late in the morning. She'd thought sounds of James playing with all his new toys would be evident, but even his cute little laugh was missing. Then she saw him, and nothing else mattered.
Standing in front of the bay windows looking out in the backyard stood Lucas, the sun shining on his shoulders. He looked like her dream man, and when he turned, sensing her stare, she had to blink hard to keep tears from falling. She loved the blonde haired man standing there more than life itself, and she was finding it hard to breathe with him staring at her that way.
His blue eyes seemed to glow with some feeling she couldn't place, and she had to struggle to keep from running straight into those strong arms. Brooke could remember the feel of his hands on her skin, his lips leaving trails of warmth and pleasure all down her body. That sorely missed warmth started to spread deep inside her, and she quickly moved into the kitchen to break their eye contact.
Get ahold of yourself! I can't help Lucas if I keep reacting this way just by looking at him! Pull it together B. Davis, you need to keep your feelings under control.
"Brooke?" And suddenly he was standing behind her, his scent in the air, making her head dizzy. He placed a hand on her shoulder, brushing the side of her neck and she shivered. Stepping away, she turned and tried to smile.
Take it easy dude. Don't rush this. She may be here for me, but that doesn't mean my pretty girl feels the same way I do. But lord how I hope she does. Lucas had felt her eyes on him the instant she'd stepped forward into the house. It was like she was there, all around him as her own perfume floated through the house. He'd missed that scent so fiercely.
"Hey Broody. What brings you here? And where is everyone?" Brooke tried to buy time, struggling to get her body and emotions under control. She looked up at Lucas, and as her hazel eyes met his blue ones, she knew every desire she had was there for him to see. She turned her head in an attempt to keep some control.
Lucas was shocked to see the desire to clearly there in her eyes. Dare he hope that she still felt for him the way he felt for her? When she turned her head and bit her lip, he lost all ability to think rationally.
Stepping forward, he slid a finger beneath her chin and pulled her gaze to meet his own. Standing mere inches from each other, their bodies called out, both craving the other's touch.
Please don't regret this Brooke. Please, don't run away from me. Throwing what caution he had left to the wind, he leaned in and grazed his lips against her own. Feeling her tremble, he was about to pull away when she was suddenly kissing him, her lips pressing hard against his own. Her hands were gripping his arms as she pulled herself up. He wrapped his own hands around her waist and pulled her into his body.
Moaning, Brooke insistently pushed against Lucas' lips with her tongue, wanting to taste him, wanting to experience it all. She'd dreamed for months of kissing him again, of feeling his arms around her, his hands running over her skin, and she had to have it all.
Pushing Brooke up against the counter, he opened his lips to her and their kiss deepened. Groaning with need, desire building up inside him, he lifted her onto the counter and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Lucas slid his hand under the hem of her shirt and she inhaled sharply as he slid his hand up her back.
"Uncle Luke! Uncle Luke! You were supposed to come play with us! Where are –" James came skidding into the kitchen only to see his aunt and uncle kissing in the kitchen. "EWWW! Daddy! Uncle Luke's kissing Aunt Brooke!" He went tearing out of the house back through the door he'd just come through looking for his dad.
Brooke and Lucas looked like they'd just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Faces flaming, they could hear Nathan laughing as he tried to explain to his son that everything was alright. Realizing Lucas still had his hand up her shirt, and Brooke still had her legs wrapped around his waist, they started laughing.
"Uh oh. Busted by the three year old. Haley's so going to kill us." Chuckling, Lucas wrapped his hands around Brooke's tiny waist and lifted her off the counter. He didn't step away from her though, and they were so close she could feel his breath on her face. Smiling, she stood on her tip toes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
"We should go apologize to Nathan. I'm sure he wasn't intending on his son being introduced to the ways of boys and girls quite so early." Side stepping Lucas, she slipped one hand into Lucas' and led the way into the backyard.
Nathan was trying really hard not to laugh while his son rambled on about how gross kissing girls was, and didn't Uncle Luke know they had cooties? Seeing them come out the door, James ran up to his aunt.
"If you give my uncle cooties, I'm going to have to tell mommy on you!" James was so mad for a little person! Brooke bit the inside of her cheek to try and keep the smile from breaking out on her lips. She'd already made her godson mad at her, she wasn't going to make the mistake of laughing at his seriousness.
"Tell mommy what?" Haley walked in on a husband hiding behind a tree silently laughing and wiping tears from his eyes, an incense son with his hands on his hips, and Brooke and Lucas holding hands, mirth so clearly sparkling in their eyes. It struck her that she really needed to watch what she did around her son – he was mimicking her favorite pose perfectly.
"Uncle Luke and Aunt Brooke were kissing mommy! What if she gave him cooties?! He wont have to go to the doctor will he?!" James was torn between child like disgust at someone kissing, and fear that his favorite uncle would have to get a shot. He hated needles!!
"Oh Jamie, it's alright, really! Grownups can't give other grownups cooties. Otherwise, I'd give daddy cooties all the time!" Haley was laughing at her son's frustration, while trying to calm him down.
"EWW mommy! You're not supposed to kiss boys!" It was too much for the adults. Nathan lost all control and fell from behind the tree, and Brooke was leaning on Lucas, laughing so hard she was crying. Lucas had an arm wrapped around Brooke, chuckling. Haley tried so hard to keep her composure, but lost the battle. An enraged James just stomped his little foot, glared at everyone, and took off into the house.
"Oh Hales! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't laugh but he looked just like you! It was so cute!" Brooke gasped, trying to catch her breath. She didn't want to step away from Lucas' warm embrace, it felt so good to be held by him.
"Don't sweat it tigger. He'll calm down. I'll send his daddy-" eyeing her husband who was still rolling on the ground, "up to talk to him. I'm just glad to see you two."
"Yeah. Say Brooke, you wanna go for a walk?" Lucas' voice rumbled from his chest, and Brooke smiled to hear him speak. She'd missed laying on his chest at night while he read her from one of his many books.
"It's freezing outside! Way too cold for a walk. Why don't you guys stay here, we'll take James and go grab something to eat. I guess I'll spare my husband from having to take on our son alone." Haley smiled, and walking past Brooke squeezed her arm and winked at Lucas. She went upstairs, and a few moments later came with a sulking son in tow, jackets in hand for them all. James thru a disgusted look at them both, but when Lucas stuck his tongue out at him, James broke into a big grin. It was going to be alright.
Brooke and Lucas watched as the family went into the garage, and then walked back inside. Brooke went to make some hot cocoa since her fingers were freezing, and Lucas pulled out a barstool and settled down to watch her. Throwing glances over her shoulder, she again felt like she was in high school. There was this giddy feeling inside of her and she was happy. Lucas was grinning fit to crack, and was mesmerized by her every movement.
"So how come you didn't tell me you were here for me?" Lucas broke the silence first. He wasn't mad, just curious.
"Who told you?" Brooke was relieved to not hear anger in his voice. She was afraid he'd be mad when he finally found out.
"Nathan and I talked last night. Amber had made a comment and I was curious about it. Nathan filled me in. I'm not mad. In fact I'm flattered. I'm honored that you'd come back for me."
Blushing, Brooke turned around with filled mugs and handed one to Lucas.
"Yeah, I'd do anything for you." She couldn't meet his eyes. Had she seriously just said that?!
"Pretty girl, look at me. Please." His voice was filled with desire and love and need.
Turning her head, Brooke was shaken by the depth of feelings in his blue eyes. "Lucas," she breathed.
"I love you Brooke. I love everything about you. I love that you came here to save me, I love that you're standing here with me, I love you. I need you in my life, I need you."
Suddenly, Brooke stepped away, shaking her head. No, I can't do this to him. I'll only end up hurting him, it's all I've ever done to him. He's finally healing from all this. I can see it in his eyes, in the way the tension is gone from his face. He deserves a fresh chance at love, not running around in these old circles again. He only feels this way because he's grateful to me. This won't be real in a week, when he realizes he's finally on the mend. Reality came crashing in on her, and her past and secrets and fears kept her from keeping her promise to Peyton. I'm sorry Goldilocks. I can't. I'm sorry. So incredibly sorry Broody.
"Lucas, I- I can't do this. You don't know what you're saying. You're finally starting to feel better, you don't want to jump into something like this. We've never been on the same page Luke. In a couple days I'll be going back to New York, and then what? You can't follow me there. You've got a life here, your mother needs you. And me? I've got a life in New York that I can't just walk away from. No, Lucas, we can't do this. Not right now." Brooke was shaking, tears threatening to spill from her hazel eyes.
Lucas was stunned. Ten minutes ago they'd jumped each other's bones, and now she was pushing him away. Again. It didn't matter that she had sound reasoning. It didn't matter that he couldn't come up with answers to silence her objections. All that mattered is that he had seen the love he felt mirrored in her eyes, and she'd shut him out.
Anger blossomed inside his heart, and he shoved the stool back. Brooke looked up at him, recoiling at the raw hurt and anger in his eyes. Shooting her one last look of pain, he was gone, out the door. Brooke was again left alone in Haley's house, the sound of the damned door slamming shut in the silence.
"I love you Lucas. I'm so sorry…" she whispered, as the tears fell again.
AN: Hope y'all liked this one. The next chapter is all Brucas too, shoot, the rest of the story is Brucas. Hope I can live up to the expectations! Y'all have been wonderful, keep the reviews coming if you don't mind.
Love ya!