A/N : This chapter is based on the most loathed character of the CID fandom, so please read the warning before starting with the chapter. Tarika haters and Abhijeet worshippers, this chapter MIGHT raise your blood pressure, destroy your appetite or give you a painful nervous breakdown. Well, I am not responsible for it. Read at your own risk, skip at your own choice.
Set in the Tasha-era (2009-2010), where things were tolerable to an extent. I cannot imagine the same scenario in the present time. Besides, there is a subtle reason why I am emphasizing on the era.
Inspirations: Katherine (The Vampire Diaries), miscellaneous fandoms. Partly inspired by MM's 'In the Arms of the Enemy' and PR's 'From Afar'.
Brace yourselves, one of the fandom's worst nightmares approaching ahead..
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When the most ruthless and feared gangsters of his times realized the first time he had fallen for a girl, it initially came as a mental shock for him- as though an entire scuttle full of sharp needles had been overturned on his head, each of them scaling right into his brain.
He regarded himself capable of facing any level of predicament, as hellish as it could possibly be. He had been brought up that way. He had been made that way.
'I was born in the ashes of molten hatred, raised by demons in the abodes of the dead.' The statement precisely described the story of his early life.
For someone who had been brought up within the surroundings of hatred and sin- where devils celebrated evil over virtuousness- it proved to be indeed a surprise to learn his heart was capable of thinking good for someone. In a world where kids were handed guns and weapons before books and toys, where lessons of destruction and crime were taught before peace and tranquillity, words like love, friendship and affection were not allowed to exist.
Neither did they exist for him. He had never been given love and he never knew to give it to others. Right since his childhood, indifference was the only emotion he valued. He had been told by some about his parents being dead in an accident, while some telling him they had abandoned him. Whatever the truth it was, he didn't care. For by the time he was old enough for his brain to start thinking logically, he had already accustomed himself to the world he had been thrust into.
And he had started loving it. No, it wasn't fun for him going around killing people as one would smack houseflies dead. He felt nothing. No emotion whatsoever in watching blood drain out of innocent victims.
As he grew, he graduated from committing small harmless wrongdoings to more advanced atrocious crimes, indulging in smuggling and contract killing. He became more stone-hearted with age, the callousness within him increasing.
Till the day everything around him was proved wrong. Till the day the bubble of hatred and indifference floating around him was burst by a strong invisible needle. Till the day he saw her.
When he first saw her, he was initially his usual indifferent self. The kind he felt for the hundreds of girls he had dated in the past. But, gradually the indifference made way for something else. A strange unusual feeling. The feeling of wanting to see her again.
And again and again.
He had spent countless nights calculating what he actually felt. And why did he even feel anything. Because he had never known the definition of a 'feeling'.
He had hardly found the answer to his confusion when he was forced to come to terms with another doubt- why the hell was he bothering to waste nights thinking about her? He had never really 'thought' of anyone his entire life- neither in a good way nor in a bad way.
But, there was not a tinge of doubt the girl was no ordinary one. One look at her, and he felt his indifferent attitude flying out the window, much to his dismay. But, he found himself too busy in learning what was it about the girl that he didn't even bother getting back the indifference.
Everything, every damn thing about her was... something. He could never really describe it in words. For it was beyond description, and even he had learned that by then.
Her name defined 'star'. But, that was just a coincidence. Any other name for her wouldn't have changed the definition for her. She was a star. Not the ones hovering around the moon, casting their dim fickle shine. She was a lone star, which stood at a distance shining the brightest shine, one could easily distinguish from miles apart.
The first time he had looked at her, he felt a gentle tug at his heart, pressurizing him to break all the walls of hostility he had built around it.
It seemed she carried an aura around her, which was capable enough of pulling a part of him toward her every time he saw her. And for reasons unknown to him, he loved it. That was probably the first time he had loved something. And the first time he had gotten a feeling.
She carried a part of her name in every asset she possessed. Her eyes- those heavenly captivating eyes which spoke volumes. He had once made a mistake of looking right into them. And within a flash of a second, he had forgotten the existence of the world around him. It was a feeling much more ecstatic than having taken a dozen pegs of Whisky. For a gangster, he had never experienced anything purer than that.
Her smile- the mesmerizing radiating smile which reached right up to her eyes. The way she used to flash it had convinced him it was meant only for her lips. She had once smiled that smile at him, and from that day onwards, he never liked any other person smiling at him again. He was well aware the smile was not intended for him- she hadn't learned the truth of his imposture then- but it was enough for him to treasure it for a lifetime.
Her hair- aah, how could he forget those irresistible dark curls which cascaded through her back? He had once caught her playing with them while doing a forensic analysis, flashing that elegant smile and those alluring eyes.
Her care- the concern she had for everyone, irrespective of her importance in their life. He wondered to what extent can a person love. Maybe there were no bounds, he never figured out.
His heart had unexpectedly made a dive, smashing itself into two parts, every time he had come across her. One wanted to run toward her and hold her, feeling her smile, playing with those curls, while the other wanted to die right there. It couldn't handle all that beauty at one point. It was never made to accept the fact that something so beautiful, so pure, so simple existed.
After having a hard tug of war with his heart, he chose not to follow it. He had run. Marched out of the lab, away from her, trying to kick those thoughts out of his mind.
It was too late.
As he sat comfortably in his chair, staring at the ceiling emptily, he hated his heart yet again. He hated the people who forced him to sneak into the CID. He hated the Almighty for creating her. He hated his eyes for showing him such a pure form of beauty.
More than anything, he hated himself. He had always been content in his dark world of crime. It never made him regret anything. He could do whatever he wished, and his heart never really played a role anywhere. It was as though it was dead all those years.
The moment he saw her, it seemed his heart had suddenly risen from a deep grave, running free to haunt him. Crucify him every second.
He hated his mind for not deserving to even stand close to her- let alone talk to her. Of course, for a grim ruthless criminal like him, she definitely didn't deserve to interact with anyone of his likes. Specially not her, he thought.
Though he had made desperate attempts to stay away from her, he never understood why she was particularly concerned about him. It was then he figured the concern was never for him. It was for someone else- the man he shared his face with.
He hated the plastic-surgeon who had operated on him.
No, he never felt disheartened by learning the fact that she cared not for him but for the person he had hated the most. He wasn't anyways expecting it. He had, however, felt a pang of guilt rising in him every time she came to talk to him. Guilt of hiding the truth from her. Of keeping her in dark, when she never deserved any of it.
For a split second, he had considered keeping his real motive to a side, and confiding everything in her. But, the next moment, her agonized face had flashed in front of him, and he had discarded the thought.
Forgetting the hatred for those few minutes, he had made sure the Goody-two-shoes Senior Inspector knew how freaking lucky he was. He had gone to him and told him while he was in his captive, still letting that bitterness seep into his voice. He didn't want the Senior Inspector to know about his feelings. He never considered it necessary.
Though he was utterly satisfied from within that she had loved a man who could give her a future. Bright, optimistic future.
He chuckled in dry sarcasm as the imagination of leaving all his evildoings for her occurred to him. He threw the thought right out the window instantly.
It never really mattered, anyways. Neither for her, nor for him.
Because all that was important was, the smile on her face which he had treasured right since the moment he had first seen it on her face.
A soothing wave of satiation made its way to his heart, the moment he learned he no longer needed to worry about her, the happiness which she deserved.
The other day, which had proved to be the best and the worst day of his life...
The air on the beach blew with every possible sound one could imagine, right from the shouts of the street-hawkers advertising their junk food to the mild splashing waves flashing the golden-orange reflection of the waters ready to welcome the sun in, to joggers merrily chatting and panting through their way.
However, his eyes caught the rightfully unwanted attention of a certain couple, sitting silently in a comparatively isolated corner, snuggled close to each other and admiring the sunset. It wasn't on purpose that he had decided to pay a visit to the beach, as he never knew he would get to see them there.
But, he knew she loved beaches. He remembered seeing her staring at the sunset very often, sometimes alone, sometimes with him or sometimes with her friends. The cool breeze flowing through her curls and tickling her pretty face, the satisfied smile on her face, her soft, mild laughter in the company of her loved ones... everything about her which never failed to fill her heart with warmth.
A sharp needle of pain stabbed at his chest, in contrast to the soothing atmosphere, as he saw the man's arm going across the girl's shoulders.
And then, within a fraction of a second, everything else was blurred, as though being thrown out from the picture. His eyes focused on her. The familiar smile of satisfaction, of relief was naturally displayed on her face, along with the outline of her svelte figure reflected by the sunrays.
He stood relatively close to them, their backs facing him. Though they couldn't see him, he could hear every word they talked.
And in contrast to the pain a person deeply in love would have gone through upon seeing his/her love indulging in romantic talks with someone else, he felt unnaturally and unexpectedly calm and serene. As though the turmoil inside him had pacified down.
For the first time since his association with them, he found himself respecting the man he hated the most.
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"So, thinking about any new chemical formula to invent? You know, like, how to make a man fall head over heels for you?" The goody-two-shoes Senior Inspector caressed her hair as he spoke, his face inches apart from hers. She grinned from ear to ear, as she stopped watching the sunset to stare into his eyes. "Why should I? I already have someone who's head over heels for me." She whispered, scooting closer to him, her dark curls teasing his face and he tucked them behind her ear, feeling her neck with his fingers.
"In fact, I think you should invent a formula to make girls fall flat just by existing!" She said a bit too casually, entwining her fingers with his, and he laughed. "Jealous?" His voice could be heard, his eyebrow raising. "Naah! Not at all!" A wide grin lifted the side of her lips, and the next instant her voice changed into a more confident tone. "Senior Inspector Abhijeet is mine! And the world better know it!" She spoke in a mock-threatening tone, laughing at herself.
Her dusky beautiful face reddened to the colour of a ripe strawberry as a soft kiss was planted on her cheek. "Sometimes, I wonder how many girls must be hating me for snatching you from them. Must be countless, right?" She teased her boyfriend in a mock-sarcastic tone, and he chuckled incredulously. "Seriously, Tarika? Do you actually bother about what the world thinks about you?" Abhijeet wanted to know.
"No, idiot! I have never bothered! I'm just saying." She winked, punching him lightly in the shoulder.
There was a pause for a few seconds, before Abhijeet spoke. "Listen, Tarika, I care a damn about what the entire universe thinks of you. Or about us, for that matter. All I know, and all I want to know, is that you are everything, yes, everything for me. It's you who have filled that void of loneliness in my life. It's you who have showed me the other side of my life – the much brighter and happier side – something I never thought I would ever see. It's you who have completed me. And I never want to be incomplete again! Never!" He finished with a deep breath, and she smiled, pulling his head closer to lay a kiss on his cheek. "I know!"
"Why do you need to worry about the world when I know what you are? When you know what you are?" He asked, his voice clearly annoyed. "You better stay the same throughout, Mr. Senior Inspector! Else, you have no idea what I am capable of." She pointed her finger at him threateningly, and laughed as she proceeded to pull his cheek much to the Senior Inspector's irritation.
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'Thank you, Mr. Goody-two-shoes! For giving her what she deserves!' He had silently told his rival, letting out a huge sigh of relief, as he walked away from them, vowing never to see her again.
He never imagined what she must have felt upon learning the truth about him. He knew she would hate him. Hate him to the core.
And he wanted that. He wanted her to hate him from the bottom of his heart. Because that was the only way she would be happy with Abhijeet. Before it, before her happiness, nothing came and nothing had ever taken its place.
All these years, when he had joked with his accomplices about a term called as 'love at first sight', he never had the slightest of idea the joke would turn up on him one day.
For the time in his life, he regretted it. He regretted living the past few months he had lived. He regretted all, except for one thing. That smile.
That evening, when he felt light at heart and easier at life, he wasn't surprised by the fact that the reason behind it was her smile. Getting to his feet and walking toward his lone companion, he poured a peg in his favourite glass the first time in those months, grinning happily at it. Teasing it at having taken the second position for companionship in loneliness in his life. The first would always be her smile. Always. Until the very end.
He waited for the Whisky to run though his veins, enjoying it thoroughly that evening. He loved it, everything around him. More than anything, he loved the scar.
A broad grin formed on his lips as he felt it that evening. The scar of identity. His identity.
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~~ The End ~~
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A/N : Each time, I end up with my disclaimer of "This chapter is so bad". But, this time, I am NOT going to repeat that. Because I loved, yes, LOVED this chapter. For me, this is the best in the series. Writing it actually gave me the inner peace, which I searching for quite a long time. I have taken extreme pains for it, in spite of knowing how much hatred and abuses I am going to get for it, from all the possible directions. So, I don't care what the world thinks about it.
I haven't antagonized Abhijeet and neither do I love/hate him or Abhirika. So, Abhirika/Tarika haters, this is what I wanted it to be, and this is what it IS. Whether you are able to deal with it or not, I don't give a damn. If you want to give me bullshit about this, your review is so NOT welcome.
I do not regret the way Rocky's characterization has been shown here. Also, I don't care if people completely choose to ignore Rocky's part (they were never interested in him, anyways), and concentrate only on Abhirika's part. There is a reason why I included the Abhirika part, and it's not because I have suddenly, out of nowhere, started to like Abhirika. That is too difficult, now. Besides, the basic purpose was to show Rocky being satisfied seeing Tarika happy with Abhijeet (as is the theme of the series), so Abhirika shippers can chill.
The conversation between Abhijeet and Tarika is a part of the flashback, but I have purposely not written it in Italics, for reasons known only to me. Some lines have been taken from PR's several stories, so thanks and sorry for that, PR. :-P
Haters, I am ready!