Kayla's eyes snapped open as she heard Steve cry out. Rolling quickly to her side, she could see he was in the midst of another nightmare. His body was in its now-familiar tensed position and she could see him flexing his hands and wrists even in the darkness of their room.
He cried out again. It wasn't words, exactly, just a cry of tremendous pain. Sliding quickly out of the bed, Kayla moved to the foot of the bed and called to him as she had done many times since he had accidently struck her in England.
Over the weeks, she had learned to tell the difference between a "normal" nightmare and Steve's more intense flashback-type dreams. With a nightmare, she could simply roll over and softly call his name. He would calm down, often without completely waking up.
But this was no simple nightmare. The physical signs had told her that immediately. As she stood at the end of the bed, she called his name urgently. Trial and error had taught her that calling to him forcefully and repeatedly would bring him out of his flashback the fastest.
After several long moments, Steve cries of pain finally stopped and his eye opened. Kayla continued to talk to him, telling him where he was and that he was okay until she saw the recognition in his eye.
As Steve finally relaxed back against the bed, Kayla walked to his side and sat down beside him. She gently brushed the hair from his face, her hand lingering to caress his cheek.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly.
Steve took a few deep breaths and then nodded.
"That was a pretty bad one, wasn't it?" Kayla's voice remained soft and gentle. She continued to caress his face and neck.
Again, Steve nodded. "I guess so. I don't remember it, so it must have been bad."
That was the great irony of these nightmares. The more intense they were, the less Steve would remember. At first, Kayla had thought Steve had just told her didn't remember to avoid her questions, but as he had opened up a little about his flashbacks, she had come to realize that he really did not remember what had happened most of the time.
They sat together quietly for a few moments before Steve pulled Kayla to him and back into the bed. She snuggled in next to him, hoping he would fall asleep again.
It did not take long for her to know that this would be a night when sleep would not return easily to Steve. She could feel him shifting around on the bed. It would not be long before he would climb out of their bed.
Just as she finished that thought, Steve eased himself out of the bed. He put on his robe and walked out of the room. Kayla did not have to follow him to know exactly what he was doing. First, he would check on Stephanie and then he would check the locks on the door and windows.
She had read enough material on PTSD in the past weeks to know that it was his hypervigilance kicking in again. It had been present in the early days at Donovan manor, but had largely ceased once they had returned to Salem. Until recently, that is.
Since her return from the capitol, she had noticed a difference in Steve's nightmares and had noticed a return of the hypervigilance. After their return from Salem and Steve's decision to work with Kim, his nightmares had eased greatly. They never completely went away, but the frequency of the intense flashback-type of nightmares had dropped significantly.
Since her return home, however, the intense nightmares had returned almost every night and they were usually followed by Steve leaving their bed to make sure the house was secure. At first, Kayla had assumed it was just a temporary thing, but after a week of seeing the same pattern almost every night, she knew there was more to it.
Kayla climbed out of bed and put on her robe and headed out into the living room. Steve was sitting on the couch, staring at the front door. Calling softly to him so she did not startle him, she walked over and sat down next to him.
"What are you doing out here, Sweetness? You should be sleeping."
Kayla smiled softly. "So should you."
Steve looked away. "I'll come back to bed soon. You don't have to wait for me."
Kayla reached for his hand and held it, feeling the warmth from his skin next to hers. Their fingers intertwined almost of their own volition, just as their hearts and souls had done all those years ago.
"You don't have to do this alone, you know," Kayla said softly. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
Steve nodded and Kayla watched his eye glance from their joined hands to the door and back to her.
"Tell me what you're feeling right now." Kayla maintained her soft tone as she put her other hand on his.
"I'm afraid," Steve said simply. "I know it's all in my head, but I don't feel like we're safe."
"I know." That was all Kayla said. She knew it would do no good to tell him that the apartment was secure. Steve knew that, but it was not enough to fight the fear that he could not control.
Kayla scooted to the corner of the couch and pulled on Steve's hand until he moved next to her. Silently she pulled his head to her chest and stroked his hair. She could feel how tense his body was, but she ignored it and just held him gently.
Gradually, she felt his body relax. He took several deep breaths and then wrapped his arms around her. Kayla had no idea how long they stayed like that until she heard his breathing deepen and knew he had fallen asleep.
Kayla slowly reached up and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered them with it. She nestled down deeper into the couch, feeling Steve automatically moved with her. They needed to figure out why he was getting worse, but she would worry about that in the morning. For now, she would just hold on to him and hope that he could find some peace in her arms.