AN: I'm playing around with the idea of continuing this series in a second volume, using the October prompts from the fanfiction reddit. I realised as I was posting that there's more than a couple of loose threads. Paige's pregnancy for example. So if I do get around to the October prompts, then consider the story as continuing on from there, otherwise, just disregard the loose threads, PLL style, and imagine they all lived happily ever after in the end. Except for Alison.

Emily sat the tray of cookies down onto the playroom table. She sat down on the recliner with her book and smiled down at the girls and their friend, Lonnie. Two hands started delicately massaging her back. She smiled and leaned back, in an attempt to capture a pair of lips with her own, but the face she found looking down at her was a thing of nightmares. Alison's corpse stared down at her with disgust. The hands on her shoulders wrapped around her neck and started to squeeze. She tried to pry them off but she was too strong. She felt herself fading away.

Then it stopped.

She woke up in a cold sweat in her old bedroom. Her mom was in the door before she knew it, cradling her and holding her tight. It wasn't until she heard her mom's soothing voice that she realized she was screaming still.

It was noon now and she was still waiting for Hanna to meet her for brunch. While she was never the most punctual of her friends, she was far from the slowest. The pregnancy must really be doing a number on her. Hanna rounded the corner with her pram and her nappy bag but without any of her kids.

"Don't even ask" she warned, out of breath as she unceremoniously flopped down on the seat across from her. "You're lucky you don't have any kids. They're a nightmare!" She said, gesturing towards the mushed up squash on her new brand name sweater. It didn't take long for her to realize just how bad she'd messed up and a sympathetic hand touch was administered before Emily had even had a chance to dry her tears.

"How are you holding up?" she asked, softly this time. Much softer than yesterday.

"I'm good. I'm on this new medication. It should help with the nightmares and stuff."

"And have you had a chance to visit them?"

"No. I... I haven't gone yet."

"Em, it's been a month!"

"I know! And I'm going to visit but.. I just... I can't see them like that. It breaks my heart knowing I'm the reason this happened to them."

"Emily it wasn't your fault. How can you blame yourself?"

"Because I rushed into it without even thinking and I'm the one responsible. I should've known better."

"You couldn't have known, Em!"

"I should have!" Emily whisper-shouted, angrily.

"Okay, how about we talk about something else?" Hanna asked, trying to change the subject. She knew that when she got like this, nothing could snap Emily out of her funk.

"Seen any good movies lately?" Emily asked sarcastically.

"Love story. Girl is torn between two girls. Chooses one. Gets rejected. Chooses the other. Gets rejected. Have you heard of it?"

"I think I'm familiar with that one. Yeah."

"What happened Em?"

"I told Spencer, I didn't want her pity. I didn't want her to give up Paige for me. I didn't deserve Paige. I never will."

"Enough."

"Sorry?"

"Enough is enough. I have had it with your self loathing. It's like you want to be miserable. Like you want to be punished for whatever reason. Okay, you fucked up. EVERYBODY FUCKS UP! And everyone deserves second chances!"

"This wouldn't be my second chance, Han, it would be my fiftieth!"

"You and Paige are meant to be together Em. You think anyone else would have given you fifty chances? Paige loves you! You have someone out there who's in love with you and willing to overlook everything and still wants to be with you, even after your fifty stupid chances, and you're sitting around moping and feeling sorry for yourself instead of shagging them, right this very instant?"

"It's not that simple!"

"Yes it is!"

"Spencer-"

"Spencer is not the issue here. She told you she can handle it. The problem is that you just don't want to be happy. You don't think you deserve it after everything that happened. But those girls wouldn't want you to sit around your mom's home all day, crying and looking at old photographs. They'd want you to get your shit together and visit. They'd want you to find someone that makes you happy and settle down with them. They'd want you to move on and move in with Paige and ride your bikes around with each other all through the day and eat grapes and make love at night."

"The girls want that?"

"I may have projected a little."

"You're really working that 'day of the week' calendar, Han."

"It's my greatest accomplishment" she laughed.

"Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how to even begin to approach her"

"Start with a 'hi'. In fact she's right over there, why don't you go practice on her?" She smirked before pushing Emily out of the cafe seat she was nestled on and onto the cold hard ground, just next to the check-out counter that Paige was standing in front of. She smiled up at Paige, who offered her arm for steadiness and her ears to hear her troubles and her heart, to keep.

Alison explained away the kidnapping. She placed all the blame on her male companion and played the victim once more. He was charged and imprisoned while she accused Emily of lying and cheating and won custody of the kids. She moved them, immediately, all the way up to Beacon Hills. Emily hasn't had a chance to visit, too crushed by the turn out and too scarred by the fact that Alison managed to get away. She wants to visit but she's too scared. She sends them letters when she can. She writes about all of the things she wishes she could do with them. And in return they write back and complain about their mother, Alison.

Emily knows that legally she has no right to those kids but in her heart, they're still hers and it's been hard to let go of them. Compounded by the fact she wont have Paige. She wont allow herself to be happy because she feels too guilty for getting the kids stuck with Alison. Spencer made up her mind. She'd let Paige go. Paige didn't fight it. She didn't challenge her decision. She respected it. She was sad but she let Spencer go because she believed it was for the best. That being with her would only cause her more pain and misery.

And Emily did the same for Paige. But now? Seeing her in this line at the coffee shop? It's easy to let her go when she's not around. Easy to ignore her ghost but the real flesh-and-blood thing? The genuine article? Emily was a goner before Paige even turned to look at her. The moment her perfume wafted through her nostrils her knees went weak and she nearly hit the floor. She knew then, that her struggle would be over because if Paige so much as looked at her, she'd jump onto her and never let her go. And that's exactly what she did.