A/N: What? Two chapters? One day? Yep. That happened! So this is probably going to be the last chapter before the EPILOGUE, which I will be writing some time tomorrow I would imagine. This story has been so long in the making, with a LOAD of writer's block and I believe that I am taking this in a direction that I really believe in as a writer. Hopefully you guys can see where this is going, as well. R&R is appreciated as always, and again, thanks for reading! -Tayma
Chapter 12: We're Screaming Out; I Believe We'll Be Okay
Emma turned towards the door as Willow walked out with a small smile, carrying the last bag. She placed it in the trunk and Emma pressed it down softly, closing the trunk with a final nod. She took a deep breath and let it out in a relieving gust, draping an arm over Willow's shoulders gently. She looked over at her daughter and smiled at her softly, leaning in to kiss her head.
"Is that the last of it?"
"Yep. Well, the last of what we're bringing. The rest, grandma and grandpa Pillsbury are going to take care of," Willow smiled at her mother, leaning against her gently.
"Do you think I did the right thing?"
"Yes, mom. I really do," she said for the millionth time, her hazel eyes on her mother's amber ones. It wasn't a lie in the slightest; it was the complete and honest truth.
Emma stared into Willow's eyes, seeing Will's eyes for just a moment as she took another breath in through her nose, nodding a little bit.
"Alright, then. Let's go lock up."
They turned together and Emma walked into the house just behind Willow, stopping in the doorway as she watched Willow rush upstairs to make sure all the windows were closed and locked.
"I wasn't ready," Will said, looking across the kitchen table at Emma. It was a week after she'd kicked him out, finding out that he lied about his knowledge of Willow.
"Excuse me?"
"I wasn't ready, Emma. I wanted kids, sure, it was a dream of mine, but I wanted kids with Terri, my wife. I wasn't ready to take on the responsibility of a child who I had outside of my marriage, created in a moment of weakness with my best friend." He shrugged just slightly and looked at her. "I wasn't ready for what it would do to my already struggling marriage."
Emma stared across the table at her boyfriend, disbelief coursing through her veins. She took just a moment, trying to cool off, but all she could do was slam her hands down on the table in anger.
"You weren't ready?! Well you know what? NEITHER WAS I!" She pushed herself up from the kitchen table, using it to hold herself up as she leaned over the table towards him, her eyes shooting daggers. "I WASN'T READY FOR A CHILD. I WASN'T READY TO GIVE UP MY LAST TEEN YEARS. I WASN'T READY FOR ANYTHING THAT WAS BEING THROWN AT ME, AND I DEFINITELY WAS NOT READY TO TACKLE IT ALONE." She glared, her voice dropping as she pointed in the direction of the stairs. "But that little girl was on her way, and I had no choice but to rise to the occasion and become the best mother she could ask for. And dammit, I did. I raised a beautiful girl, I got my Master's Degree, I built a stable home for her, and she has never wanted for anything in her life. Besides a dad, who never gave me the chance to tell him, but SPOILER ALERT! YOU ALREADY KNEW!" She pushed off of the table and turned away from him, shaking her head. "So excuse me if 'I wasn't ready' doesn't cut it for me."
When he said nothing, she turned to him again, hair flying.
"God, and you're so full of it! A moment of weakness? Is that what you call making love to me? Or would it be making lies? I'm sort of lost at this point."
"Emma, you CANNOT get mad at me!" Will said, standing up and stepping towards her. "You kept her a secret for ten years, and you only told me about her because she wore you down after you moved here."
"Two different things, Will! Two different things!"
"How the hell do you figure?"
"I KEPT IT A SECRET BECAUSE I WAS SCARED AND DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE. YOU KNEW ABOUT HER AND ACTED LIKE YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE SHE WAS A MISTAKE THAT WASN'T YOUR WIFE'S!"
Will swallowed, staring at Emma who was shaking, she was so mad.
"You know, Will, Terri was a bitch, but she at least knew what she was. A liar and a bitch, and she owned it and owned up to it. I respect her for being able to look in the mirror and accept who she is. But you're a coward, and a liar, and a jerk, and…and…"
"Emma, you have got to see this from my stand point," he said, looking at her, a hand reaching out gently to rub her arm comfortingly.
"There is no 'from your stand point', Will," Emma said, pulling away from his hand. "You didn't want her, because you didn't want the responsibility, and you thought you'd just let me take care of it, instead of owning up to the fact that you had a child and come to me about her instead of thwarting every. single. attempt. at me telling you about her."
Will sighed and looked down. He couldn't keep arguing with her about any of it; it was just going to get worse and he had no real defense. Not when Emma was already hitting it square on the head.
"So let me ask you something. When you got mad at me because you saw the video of your parents coming over for dinner with Willow, you knew all along that they knew about her, and you knew about that dinner?" Her eyebrows raised.
He nodded.
"Yes. I saw them after that dinner and they filled me in about her. My curiosity about her was there, even though I didn't want to be her dad yet."
"And the video I sent, that Terri intercepted – did you know about that?"
Will shook his head.
"No, I didn't. I really did call and scream at her when I found out, because I'd met Willow and it bothered me that she kept that from me. I watched that video and…God, maybe it would have changed my mind. I don't know."
"When you came by, you told me that if you had seen that video, you would have come and met her. But without seeing the video, you knew she existed. You never came to meet her," Emma paused. "You were lying to me then."
Will nodded again.
"Yes, but also no. I really think seeing that video of her would have changed everything. I would have come if Terri hadn't intercepted the video," Will cleared his throat. "Everything would have been different."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why would it have been different?"
"Because you two being ready would have made me feel less…less…conflicted about the whole thing."
Emma stared at him and shook her head. "I don't believe a single word coming out of your mouth right now. I can't trust you."
"Why?"
"Because you lied to me! Not just to me, but to Willow."
"What, you've never lied to Willow?"
Just then, Willow stepped through the door. She'd been listening to the conversation and she couldn't take it anymore, hearing them going back and forth like she wasn't old enough to take part in this conversation.
"Nope. Mom's never lied to me. Not once. Unless you count her telling me what a great guy my dad is. Because I don't believe that for a second."
Willow walked over and stood by her mother, wrapping an arm around her to show solidarity; to show which side she was on. She decided to throw her own question into the mix.
"When you were ready to sue my mother for custody of me, was it because you wanted me, or because you didn't like that when you decided to be my dad, you walked out and then I didn't want one?"
Will looked at her, "Because I wanted you, Willow. How can you even ask that?"
"How can I not, Dad?" She stared at him, shaking her head. "I used to cry myself to sleep every Christmas that I asked for you and you didn't come. I stopped making birthday wishes after I was eight, because what was the point? You were never coming. I used to pray to God that somehow I would wake up and be Terri's kid so you'd want me, and when I got older, I thought that was so stupid because whether or not I was Terri's or Mom's shouldn't have mattered, because I thought you wanted me all the same. And you don't. I just heard you say that you didn't want to be a dad because I was Mom's."
Will stared at his daughter, stepping forward and taking her face in his hands gently.
"Willow, I want you. I was stupid when I was eighteen – everyone is stupid when they're eighteen. But I grew up and I want to fix this; I have wanted to fix this."
"But you lied to me, which I don't like, and you lied to my mom, which I don't like even more, I don't think you can fix this."
"Why is it okay for your mom to lie, but not okay that I lied?"
"Because," Willow started, her hazel eyes defiantly on her father's. "When mom was lying, it at least gave me hope. Her not telling you never gave you the option to reject me, and if she had told you when you were that young, it sounds like you would have rejected me and instead of growing up with the idea that my father loved me, I would have grown up with the realization that my father didn't want me. You used your lie to make my mother into a bigger liar, and to hurt her, and that is not okay. Mom didn't lie to you to hurt you; she lied to protect us both."
Will dropped his hands from his daughter's face, hurt in his eyes. He looked to Emma, whose eyes were on their daughter. She couldn't believe her daughter was being so mature about this and so eloquent. She knew that Willow had to be hurting, hearing the reason why Will lied to them, but she was so poised in that moment; so confident. It took her breath away, even in this moment of arguing, that she'd raised that young woman.
"I love you both," Will said as sincerely as he could, trying to make the both of them see that he was better than they were willing to see. "People change. I'm making an effort; I have been making an effort. Don't let the past few years be for nothing. Please."
Emma looked at Will, shaking her head slightly. "I love you, Will. I do. But Willow comes first, and I haven't been putting her first." She swallowed. "You and I? We're toxic. We always have been, and we're creating a toxic environment that I do not want to raise my daughter in."
"Emma, we are not toxic, how can you look me in the eye and say that?"
"Everything I did, I did with the hope that after being with me, you'd leave Terri. And everything you did was to keep me holding on so I'd be there when you couldn't stand Terri." Emma shook her head. "I can't do that anymore. I can't be your poison, and you can't be mine."
"So, what? What does that mean? We're done? You find out I'm not who you thought I was and you're throwing in the towel?"
"I'm not saying that." Emma looked at him and shook her head, "Will, this is about so much more than a lie. If you were truly an adult, you'd be able to see that."
"Hey mom?" Willow asked, bounding down the stairs, red waves flopping around with each step. "Thank you."
"For what?" Emma asked, looking at her confused, her head tilting to the side.
"I know you love my dad, and I know how hard it was for you to walk away from him again," Willow looked down and shrugged. "I guess thank you for picking me. For always picking me, no matter how great the other option is."
Emma walked over to Willow, holding her chin gently and looking in her eyes. "You're my person, Willow Jane. You're so much more than just my daughter. I will always pick you, because no other option could ever be greater." She kissed her forehead gently and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug, her hand rubbing her back gently.
Willow smiled, hugging her mother back, biting her lip gently. "And weirdly, thanks for letting me meet my dad. I think I'd made myself believe that without one, I was incomplete, but you're all that I've ever needed."
"I love you, Willow Jane."
"I love you, Mommy Emma."
Emma laughed a little and kissed her head, before heading back outside with her.
"So, California," Emma said, slipping her sunglasses onto the top of her head. "Why California?" She'd let Willow pick their final destination two weeks prior after everything turned sour. They just needed to get away from Lima.
"Sunshine," Willow said, climbing into the passenger seat of the car, buckling up and looking over at her mother who was doing the same in the driver's seat. "Things have been a little cloudy since Dad left. We could use a little summer sun."
"Good thinking," Emma said with a smile, rolling down the windows. She opened the sunroof on the car before shifting into gear and pulling out of the driveway, headed in the direction of the highway.
Once they pulled onto the highway, Willow plugged her iPod into the car jack, putting on her recent song addiction, Be Okay by Oh Honey. As it neared the chorus, she turned it up as loud as it would go, starting to dance in her seat until finally, she and Emma were singing at the top of their lungs as they headed down the endless highway.
Emma felt a smile break out over her face as the wind blew through their hair, and she took a deep breath, nodding to herself a little.
I believe we'll be okay…
DISCLAIMER: WILL/EMMA ARE PROPERTY OF FOX/RIB/GLEE. I SIMPLY USE THEM AS INSPIRATION. WILLOW JANE IS MY BRAIN BABY, THOUGH.