Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. Covering Stef's talk with Lexi for this one. TheTBone did a great little oneshot for that scene called The Last Resort (and I would strongly recommend it) so I was a little nervous writing it, but this is my interpretation. Thanks to her and Mea23 for all of their help. I hope you enjoy it!
"Stef? Stef!" Stef heard the distant call and recognised it as Mike. She had almost forgotten she was at work and not in one of the discussions with Lena she was replaying in her mind. She shook her head back into awareness as the car sped on around their route.
"You seem a little spaced there. Makes it harder for me to dig at you for stealing Kasey away last night." Mike quipped, keeping an eye on their surroundings.
"Who stole Kasey away?" Stef replied confused.
"Last night...we were going bowling...you called her home." he explained as they pulled up to a red light.
"Not me, she didn't come back till almost ten. Sounds like she tricked you there, Sherlock."
"What?" he looked at her, feeling abandoned. "Then where did she go?"
Stef took advantage of their brief stop to take a sip of her coffee, still mildly distracted. "I'll interrogate her tonight, don't worry."
"I can't believe her. She got a phone call and said it was you..."
"She must've got a better offer. She just leave you alone in the bowling alley?"
"Not quite alone - actually had a pretty good night as it turned out. Made a friend at the bar - his kid is a friend of Kasey's."
Stef looked at him slightly taken aback. "Well look at you making friends." she teased gently. "Your Mom let you play with him till late?"
He let out a small laugh. "Very funny. I will admit, it was nice to be out of the house for a change. I'm actually meeting him again tonight. His kid's got some show at a bar or something. Figured it would be more exciting than watching CSI re-runs alone with a beer."
Stef was about to make a witty retort before a young boy spraying graffiti caught her eye.
"Oh Darren." She cursed to herself. "I'm gonna kill him." She pulled the car up and shook her head.
"Looks like your little friend is at it again. Come on - let's get him home." Mike sighed, unclipping his belt as they exited the car.
Jude hauled his bag up onto his back. He had been trying to avoid Connor ever since his awkward confrontation the other day and he was relieved that the classes he'd had were able to provide the space he needed. He knew he would have to face him that afternoon for math and it made him feel sick.
Lena had been trying to make him feel better since she found out - and it had worked for the most part. She had opened up to him and he had gone to school ready to face the world, but he had caught a glimpse of Connor and it had shot down the balloon that had raised him above it. He looked down at the newly painted nails he had asked Mariana to re-do after he had removed most of it and changed his mind. He had decided to wear it with his head held high, just like Lena had inspired him - but he suddenly had doubts. What if Connor would be mad that he was putting him in danger too by hanging around with him? Lena had said she and Stef sometimes didn't hold hands. He understood that she didn't like it, but she still did it. Maybe Callie was right, maybe he should be more worried about survival. Why did this suddenly bother him? All from one look?
He didn't have time to think about it, his doubts winning the fight. He needed to find Mariana and get some nail polish remover. Fast.
He made his way through to the crowds to the high school lockers and found Mariana there.
"Jude?" She looked at him surprised.
"Do you have any nail polish remover?" He asked her, briskly.
"You change your mind on the colour?" She looked at him concerned as she folded her books up to her chest.
He looked down at his hands again and back up at her. "No...I just, well I thought I should probably just take it off for now."
Mariana's head dropped slightly. Jude was so confident with himself, so much more confident than she could ever be. To see him self-conscious broke her heart.
"I only have a little...for emergencies." She handed him her book to hold as she reached into her bag and produced a small vial with some cotton pads.
"You can use it if you want...but you know, it looks really good Jude. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise."
She handed it to him before taking back her book and giving him a sympathetic smile.
"I don't care what people think...at least, not most people. I just..."
Mariana suddenly twigged what Jude was getting at and she realised it was something she could relate to.
"Well you have it if you need it." As the warning bell rang he put the bottle in his bag. There was nothing he could do with it now anyway.
Stef knocked on the door of the run down house before her, a sheepish looking boy stood next to her with his head down.
"Mrs Kennedy. Police. Can you please come to the door?" She knocked again.
"She won't answer." The boy grumbled. "She doesn't give a shit."
"Watch your language, Darren." She scolded him, knocking again.
"You promised me I woudn't catch you again! What happened?"
The boy shrugged again and picked a stone up off the floor, pelting it at the house.
"Hey! Don't make you write you up for vandalism!" She warned him. "Stand here."
"Why do you even care? I'm headed to juvie anyway, why not just take me now?"
Stef turned and stared at him sternly. She couldn't help but feel affection for her familiar captive. His father had run off many years before and she had sat with him while his brother was arrested for arson a few years before. She knew he was a good kid deep down but he couldn't help but find himself in trouble.
She banged on the door again. "Mrs Kennedy, if you refuse to open the door I will be forced to take your son into our custody and get CPS involved."
The boy smirked behind her. "Something funny?" She silenced him. As much as he wanted to show his bravado he did respect Stef and immediately snapped his head down.
Eventually the door cracked open and a brash looking woman with a cigarette in hand answered.
"Mrs Kennedy, your-"
"Ms." She cut her off firmly as Stef clenched her fists.
"Ms Kennedy. Your son was found spraying graffiti on public property. You are aware that he's been suspended from school?" She couldn't suppress the irritation in her voice.
The small woman glared into Stef's eyes. "I'm done trying to stop him, lady. He wants to get himself into trouble, arrest him. See if I care."
Stef tried hard to keep the anger down inside her. If there was one thing that made her blood boil it was people with kids who didn't deserve to be parents.
"I don't want to arrest him - I want you to understand your responsibility to look after him while he is suspended. Your son is a minor and he is in your care."
"Then lock him in his room - I've got better things to do than babysit that delinquent." She went to slam the door as Stef impeded it with her foot.
"You do understand that if you are being neglectful of your son I can take him from your care?"
"Jeeez!" The woman moaned, stubbing her cigarette on the door frame. "I ain't stopping him from coming in. He's fed, he's sheltered."
Stef bit her lip to prevent her from saying something she'd regret.
"You see why I don't want to hang here?" Darren complained. "Who'd wanna be stuck with this bitch." He kicked another stone at the house as his mother became irate and lunged forward at him.
"What did you call me? You ungrateful little..." She grabbed his hoodie and thrust her hand into his pocket. "You don't want to come home, then you can go to prison." She pulled out a bag of weed and threw it at Stef. "Ain't finding that your job?" She turned back into the house and slammed the door as Darren stuttered.
Stef turned to him with sorrow in her eyes.
"Goddammit, Darren. What are you doing with that?"
"Look it's just a tiny amount - "
"It's enough for an arrest." she sighed. "You know I have to arrest you?"
"It's not even mine! How do you think she knows I have it!" Stef looked back to the house. She wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if he was telling the truth.
"The difference is, you have it on you. Look you really shouldn't say any more. I have to take you in."
The boy shook his head and headed back towards the car. Stef watched him stroll, kicking more stones as he went. She hated her job sometimes - more for the parents. The kids she didn't blame at all. She read him his rights but didn't need to force him into the car. He had long given up.
She heard Mike talking as they drove but the whole event was still working on her mind.
She knew how these things would work - the parents would get away with it and the kids would suffer. The lack of accountability infuriated her. How could someone be so ignorant of everything their kid was doing? Not care in the least and the one thing they could do - provide for them - they couldn't even be bothered to attempt. This boy had no-one to turn to. No-one to look out for him or even care if he came home. All she could do to support him was toss him into the system - the flawed system that almost did more harm than good.
Mike looked back through the grill at him sitting there, staring into space.
"I shouldn't have arrested him." Stef whispered. "No way he's gonna avoid juvie. We've done so well to keep him out."
"You don't have a choice, Stef. That's a lot of weed for a 14 year old to be carrying."
"It's probably not even his." She looked at him in the rearview.
"You gotta do your job, if we can get anything on the mother we will but right now this is all we got."
Stef heaved another sigh. She couldn't help but think of her kids whenever something like this happened. Darren was younger than Jesus and it made her sick to think of what life Jesus could have found had they not brought him under their wing. She thought of the mess he was in now. It may not be drugs or felony, but he needed their help. He needed them as parents and Stef would not be responsible for turning a blind eye to it. Neither was more responsible than the other and even if Lena's hands were tied she knew she would never be content to convince herself hers were tied too. She had been vaguely angry at Lena's stance but she saw Darren and thought of the restrictions on her job. She knew deep down that she understood where she was coming from and how powerless her partner must feel. Maybe she was longing for a get-out clause just like Stef had longed for someone else to be able to intervene with her arresting Darren. She thought of the chat she had with Jesus last night. She looked at the clock. She was done trying to fight it - she knew what she had to do.
"Hey sweetheart. Glad Jesus got you the message. Let's walk." Stef took Lexi under her arm as if scooping her under her wing. They walked to the edge of the campus away from where the kids laughed and ate until they got to the edge of the beach.
Lexi trembled slightly under her arm. "If this is a different approach to persuade me to talk to my parents...I'm sorry Stef - but I just can't."
Stef put a hand on her knee and looked deep into Lexi's terrified face. She was trying to be so strong, it was very clear, but she was all alone. No matter how independent she herself was, Stef knew what it was like to feel alone with your fears, even when surrounded by people. It had been her life for many years before she found her soulmate.
"I'm not here to talk about your parents. I'm here to talk about you. I want you to make this decision but I want you to do it with the support to understand what your decision means. Without restriction."
Lexi looked up at her, shocked.
"You mean, you're going to let me take the pill?"
"No." Stef replied as Lexi's head dropped slightly.
"I'm going to let you make the choice either way. You've read the literature, yes?"
"Yes..." her voice was more hopeful.
"You understand that if you don't take the pill we will support you whatever the result? I can't speak for your parents or what they will or won't allow, but Lena and I - and more importantly Jesus - we are prepared to help you through this, even in the case you get pregnant. There are options - there's adoption, there's support we can find you. That is all there." Her voice struggled slightly forcing herself to lay all of this out even though she knew deep down what she wanted her to choose.
Lexi nodded, fighting back tears of days of stress.
"And finally, if you want to take the pill - I will give it to you." Stef pulled the paper bag out of her purse as Lexi's eyes lit up through the mist.
"However, you have to listen to me first. There's a lot you need to know before you decide to take this - most importantly that this is not a get out of jail free card. I know it's easy to get swept away in the moment, but this isn't something that should ever be thought of as a substitute for making responsible decisions. You need to see this as a wake up call."
"Trust me, I never want to go through this ever again. I don't care if I have to wait till I'm married." Lexi vowed through a sniff. Stef knew that would probably ware off, but she didn't doubt it for that moment in time.
"Even if you had managed to get someone better than dumb and dumber to pull this off - there are implications with relying on this. Like anything it's not 100% effective and the side effects can make you feel pretty sick sometimes. It's called emergency contraception for a reason, honey. You have to understand this."
"I do...I never thought...well I guess you don't think the first time that anything bad could happen. I just didn't think."
"We all forget to think sometimes. But this experience, it has to be something you remember. It has to be something to make you think. Those few seconds when you're deciding if you use contraception, compare that to the hours, the days you've spent fretting over this. It's not worth it." Stef's advice was acknowledged with a silent nod before a small pause. There wasn't any decision for Lexi to make, she had made it over and over again after days of careful thought.
"Will you stay with me while I take it?" Lexi asked looking up.
"Of course I will, honey." Stef took her hand and got out a bottle of water and the packet. She read through the instructions with her and explained any of the possible side effects Lexi didn't quit understand as well as make sure she understood exactly what the pill would do to her body. Even though Stef knew her own beliefs were different, she made sure that Lexi had consolidated what she was doing with her own - it almost saddened Stef to see how much she had been analysing every detail - not that she wasn't impressed, but she was also saddened at how this must have been eating away at her mind. It made her more confident however that she really was doing the right thing. Finally, Lexi took the pill and drank it down as Stef rubbed her back.
"OK, honey?" Lexi nodded and gulped down another few sips. The relief flowing through her veins became overwhelming as she shook and tears began to slip out. Stef cradled her into her arms and let her cry into her chest.
"We all make mistakes, sweetheart. You just have to do your dust yourself off and get back up with the knowledge of how to try to not make it again. Turn that weakness into future strength, yes?"
Lexi nodded and wiped her tears away. Stef produced a kleenex from the bag she had brought the pill in - the Mary Poppins bag of birth control paraphernalia.
"Stef I don't want to be in this position again." She sniffed. "But what if Jesus..."
"Hey - " Stef cut her off. "I know my boy. He's been fighting your corner more gallantly than you could imagine - you tell him how you feel and I have no doubt in my mind he will support you. For one, if he doesn't he's going to need Kasey to do another drug run for him. For different kinds of drugs." She stated as Lexi chuckled through another tear. "But more so because he cares a great deal about you and I'm sure nothing is more important to him than you feeling safe and happy. Don't be scared to tell him how you feel." Lexi nodded as Stef looked across the beach. "Speak of the devil. Now listen, if you have any problems you call me OK?" Lexi nodded as Jesus approached.
Stef jumped up and gave Lexi a hand to follow.
"All done?" He asked nervously as Stef took his chin in her hand.
"All done.
Now you listen to me, I don't ever want you in this situation again. I don't care what Lena says about fear based warnings - I'll buy a dozen packs of condoms and make you practice putting them on bananas until they're empty." She then pulled him into a hug. "But seriously though, don't you ever go through something like this alone." She whispered as he nodded with a smile.
"Nothing is more important than you being able to talk to us about things like this, OK? Both of you." She turned her head to Lexi as well as they both nodded.
"Now, you guys get something to eat and don't be late for school. Jesus, straight back home after detention - we have the poetry slam tonight." She reminded him as he nodded and put his arm around his girlfriend. Stef smiled gently to herself as she saw the look in his eyes. She knew Lexi had nothing to worry about with him and she couldn't be more proud.
Next Chapter Preview: Callie repays Kasey for past favours, but no-one can help her when her plan for Mike goes awry.
"Right..." Kasey squeaked as dread sunk to her stomach. "Could you excuse me for just a second." She forced a smile turning back and forth in a small panic as she tried to figure which way to turn.
She looked at Mike and Danny laughing in the corner and gulped down. No. No, no. She could not have missed that...