"I bet you had a lot to tell her."
Kayla stepped back as if she could physically dodge Kim's angry accusation. She doesn't mean it, Kayla said to herself. She's just upset and dealing with a lot. But Kayla was also getting sick of Kim's unfounded attacks. "You know I wouldn't do that, Kim. I didn't say anything."
"And I'm just supposed to believe that?"
"Yes," Kayla said, her voice rising. "You can't possibly believe I'd hurt you like that."
"Right now, I don't know what to believe." Kim walked over to the desk. "It would make so much sense. Steve sabotages Shane; you sabotage me."
"What are you talking about?" Kayla could not understand this vitriol. "I would never sabotage you. And I told you . . . Steve didn't sabotage Shane." Kayla was starting to reach the limits of her own patience. "I'm your sister, Kim."
"Then where were you the weekend Shane was arrested?" Kim hissed. "You were busy telling Steve he didn't do anything wrong. Who cares about family? It seems I'm only your sister when it suits you. It doesn't really count when you're defending Steve. Or when you're chasing after Shane."
That's it, Kayla thought. "Now wait a minute," she said, her anger coming through clearly. "I thought we got things straight in England. Now you want to throw that in my face?"
"Maybe we didn't get things as straight as you think," Kim said. "Maybe if you'd left well enough alone, none of this would have happened. If not for you chasing after Shane, Steve wouldn't have kept blowing up at Shane for every little thing and everything would be different."
"I'm not going to do this, Kim," Kayla was almost shouting. "If you want to start going down the road of 'what ifs,' how about you take some responsibility? I didn't destroy your marriage. I didn't have another man's baby and lie about it to the man I supposedly loved."
Kim's eyes went wide. "How dare you!"
"No," Kayla said. "You want to keep blaming me and Steve for everything, but I'm not Pop. I'm not blind to the truth."
"And what truth would that be?" Kim shouted.
"That you're not some perfect angel like Pop always made you out to be!" Kayla yelled back. "God, do you know how many times I had to listen to him go on and on about you being his 'best and brightest'? How you were going to go places and be somebody, and what was I? I was the good, little sister who didn't matter at all."
Kim shook her head. "Oh, so now this is all about your old resentments? Papa loved Kimmie more, so poor little Kayla? I don't have time for this." She started to walk toward the door, but Kayla grabbed her arm.
"You do have time, and you're going to listen to me for once," Kayla said. "I'm sick and tired of taking the blame for your mistakes. I'm not responsible for what you've done to mess up your life. Don't blame me because Shane didn't want you back. And don't blame me because your past is being dredged up. I wasn't the one who slept her way through Europe."
Kim's hand moved so fast, Kayla had no chance to dodge it. It connected with her cheek and she winced in pain, then raised her hand to where the slap had struck.
For a moment, neither of them said a word. Tears were running down Kim's face, but she spoke with fury and pain.
"You think I liked that?" Kim cried. "You think I didn't hate what I'd become? After having Papa always talking about what great things I'd do? You don't get it. You had the easy time. Nobody expected anything of you, so you didn't have to try to be perfect even when you were broken inside."
Kayla was still smarting from the slap, so Kim's words only partially registered. In a low, tight voice that strained to contain her own anger, she said, "I'm sorry for what you went through, Kim, but that's not my fault, and you can't blame me for what happened when we were kids."
"I'm not the one who brought up Papa," Kim pointed out. "And I wasn't talking about the past. I was talking about just a few months ago - when you decided to take up with the man you knew I loved. And don't tell me you didn't know he still loved me. I know you did. Shane admitted it to me the other night."
"You walked out on him," Kayla said.
"It didn't matter!" Kim cried, as she continued to glare at Kayla. "I'm your sister. A true sister doesn't go after her sister's husband, no matter what. You knew what Shane meant to me. You know what we had. You knew, but you didn't care, because you were selfish and didn't give a damn about who you were hurting!"
Kayla started to protest, but then thought, I'm not the bad guy here; why am I defending myself? She shook her head. "Believe what you want, Kim. . . . Hate me. Resent me. I'm not the one who said things were over with Shane and I'm not the one who decided to get involved with Lawrence Alamain. Hell, you pushed me to Shane when I tried to step away. So you're not going to make me feel guilty for this. I'm not going to be the bad guy here." Kayla took a deep breath. "I came here to warn you about that reporter and I did that, so I'm going to leave now."
"Then leave," Kim said, the bitterness still plain.
Kayla nodded. "I will. And maybe when you've calmed down and thought about things a little more, we can talk. . . . Obviously, there are still a lot of things we need to deal with. And when you see Shane, tell him that we're going to do everything we can to help."
Instead of responding, Kim turned her back and stood silently.
Fine. Go ahead and ignore me, Kayla thought. She hated the anger and bitterness, but she was not responsible for all of Kim's problems and she was sick of feeling guilty about her relationship with Shane. There were far more important things right now than dwelling on the past. As Kayla reached the library door, she glanced back at Kim, who still had her back turned. Her back and shoulders were shaking as if she were crying. For an instant, Kayla wanted to comfort her sister, but then she remembered Kim's hurtful accusations. As Kayla's anger began to rise again, she turned away and left the room. She had her husband waiting for her at Wings, and she was not going to let Kim or anyone else make her feel guilty for that.