The next day Steven was sitting out on the porch because he didn't know where else to be. He hadn't wanted to eat anything that morning but knew he had to so he had had a bowl of cereal but he couldn't finish it. No matter how many deep and spiritual breaths he let out and turned into fog in the wind the floating in his stomach remained.
(The Crystal Gems would arrive. And Topaz.)
Connie was on her way, which gave Steven some reason to be outside. Luckily for her it was a Saturday, but both her parents were working so she had to take the bus. (Steven never liked letting her take the bus because he felt it rude on his part. But, she was right, that she'd get to Beach City faster, and she promised him that she didn't mind.) She would be there by brunch time. They would have early lunch and then they would go.
(The new Gems will fumble from out of the walls of the canyon like zombies. Assemble. Behind Topaz.)
The waves rolled and the ocean was vast. It was a breezy winter's day as well and all these moving and restless things of nature had no intention of letting up (rudeness be darned). But, Steven made his choice to sit there; inside felt too stuffy; he needed fresh air before he blew chunks of the rainbow all over the living room floor, what few chunks he had eaten.
(There were about twenty of them-blues, reds, yellows. Carnage. Amethyst and Pearl might fuse, Steven and Connie most likely.)
Steven hadn't told his father that he was going. Not even the situation. He didn't know how; for him, there was more than just the facts that needed telling.
(The new Gems will lose. Garnet will jump on top of Topaz and beat her senseless until she could no longer sustain her physical form. Bubbled. The end of her forever. No more chances.)
He felt betrayed by Topaz. Moreover, Steven felt he betrayed himself. The word "evil" is gray; Steven... believes?... believed she had so much potential. That is Topaz's punishment.
(And Peridot. Topaz beat her the night before. Because of what Steven had done and found out. They will find her, a crumpled and depressed little mess in a corner of the cave.)
Why did he keep seeing that? Why on Earth did Steven keep seeing that? Peridot, beaten or not, will be ruined when the Crystal Gems go to the desert. For at least a little while. She just wants to live and love and be loved, but she got wrapped up in Topaz, to whom loving and being loved wasn't good enough. Isn't that what making new Gems meant?
Furthermore, Steven has seen how she outlashes. What would denial of her having her army do to her? What would it have made her do to Peridot? What did all that make Topaz but nothing more than a child who kicks and screams when she doesn't get what she wants?
Steven had no idea. It was something he wanted to ask his father, but didn't know how. Not those questions in particular, but how to handle one's emotions maturely. His role models around him all seemed to do it differently. How should one prosper when so many things in life are constantly twisting at one's heart?
Steven blew fog again. He just wanted Peridot home, here, in Beach City.
Not much later he spotted Connie hurrying around the bend in the beach, lugging his mother's massive sword on her back. Steven hobbled out of his chair to meet her at the top of the steps.
Connie said, "You ready?"
...