Thank you all so much for your reviews and kind words for the last chapter, I really wasn't expecting that response at all but thrilled so many of you are enjoying it! I have managed to find some time to proof read and put this chapter out today so hope you enjoy - I guess it's the big one! I would love to know what you think as it's probably my most-requested scene. And thanks for all of you who did request it, even though it was a while back!
Thanks to Mea23 and TheTBone who test-drove it for me.
Brandon pulled the car into the drive. "You ready for this? We can leave it until tomorrow if you like?" He looked across at Callie, her gaze firmly on the
dashboard but looking miles beyond.
"I've got to do it tonight, or I never will." She replied numbly.
He gave her a few moments more until she took the lead in opening the door. They made their way in and saw Stef and Lena sprawled out on the sofa. Callie could hear the vague pleasantries being exchanged but all she could do was rehearse in her mind how she could possibly start this.
Lena grabbed her attention asking about her sharing at group.
"I did." She replied instinctively with a whisper, clearly still a tiny part of her engaged with the room. The rest of her tried to fully focus as she took her seat.
"I'll let you guys talk." Brandon offered, quickly catching her attention. No! She gasped in her mind, managing to edit it into a suggestion that he stayed in order to hide her desperation not to lose him. He had been her security blanket through this whole ordeal and she wasn't sure if she could go through with it if she lost him now. He had been her lifeline. The quiver in her voice clearly communicated across to Stef and Lena who immediately acquired a less casual pose.
It was now or never.
She sat on her hands and prepared to dive in.
"A little while ago I was living with another family. It was a pretty good situation. They had...a boy who was a little older than me. Liam. I was 14, maybe 15, I think. We, well. He was really nice to me and we got close."
She looked up nervously to gauge a reaction. No matter how safe she felt with Lena and Stef, she had been deceived by people before. Their faces still showed soft concern. She had missed the subtle look Stef had flickered to Lena when they heard her age.
"So...it started off just sibling stuff, you know. Like an older brother. He was good with Jude and we did a lot of family trips."
Still concern.
"Then it..." she felt her hand go up to brush back her hair. The other dived under her leg. "It got more serious." her hands were back on her lap and her eyes once again locked on Stef and Lena.
Concern.
Still.
They weren't saying anything. They still weren't saying anything. They must be about to.
She repeated it again. "Things got more than just sibling-like." still nothing.
Callie's heart pounded. Why were they not reacting?
"Before you say it - I know the rules." As the words came out she began to recant, maybe they weren't saying anything because they didn't know how to tell her. "I know that it's not allowed but it just didn't feel like that..." As her dialogue became rushed and it was clear she was losing it, Stef finally moved but Lena tugged lightly on her shirt, pulling her back. Callie had sat away from them for a reason and her body language was clear. She suppressed her motherly yearning by clasping her hands together and holding her legs down with their weight.
"Sweetheart." Lena interrupted her. "Just finish your story. We're here to listen, not judge." she assured her. Callie gulped back her spiel and locked eyes with both of them. The warmth flowed from their gaze and filtered through Callie's body.
She took a deep breath.
"We begun to spend more time together. We would hang out when his parents were away, sometimes, you know. Together on the couch in front of a movie when Jude had gone to sleep, sometimes...kiss." Stef's hand twitched again. Let her talk. Let it come from her.
"One night, we were alone in the house. Well, Jude was sleeping. Liam had had some of his Dad's beer. He came into my room and well, one thing led to another. Next thing I know we were on the bed, kissing. I mean, it was fine, that – well that happened a lot. I let him do that, I was used to that, you know."
Stef bit down on her lip. That was not fine. She should not have to let him do anything. She sat on her hands. She was determined to let Callie finish in her own words but she so desperately wanted her to not have to say what she knew was coming. Lena crossed her arms; her own method of defence. The pauses between Callie's statements seemed to go on forever, mounting and mounting.
"So...the next thing his hand is under my shirt and I told him I wasn't quite ready for that yet, but he, well he persuaded me it was OK. It was just the next step. It was what people did who were in love. It was just proof they were comfortable with each other." her voice cracked slightly as Stef could no longer resist the urge and stepped forward off the sofa to take the chair by Callie's. She put her hand on Callie's. No. She didn't want to feel Stef's contact for this. It would make her cry again and she didn't want to cry. Not in front of Lena and Stef. But it was happening. She shuffled her hand tighter under Stef's despite every instinct telling her to pull away.
"Take your time, sweetheart." Lena assured her gently, leaning forward.
Callie's voice had been conversational up to this point but she switched it to matter of fact. Right now she just needed to spit out the details.
"I let him take my top off and he took off his. Soon enough he was going for my pants. Next thing I know...well. His are off and so are mine." She took a deep gulp and had to stop. She couldn't find the tone, she couldn't find the way. She wanted to go back. Go back out the door and take it all back. Stef's voice called her departed mind back into the room.
"Sweetheart - did you tell him to stop?"
Yes. Yes she did. She told him to stop. That was all she needed to say but hard as she searched for the words to answer, she couldn't find them. All that would come out would be tears if she tried. The tears that were brimming and ready to be shed. This had been easier with Brandon, why was it so hard this time around? Her voice still defeated, she took the next best thing and nodded her head furiously, causing the perfectly balanced tears to finally cascade with the motion. She felt Stef's hand grip tighter and realised why it was this was harder. She took her hand out from her grasp. She had to regain control. She sat on her hand as Stef balanced back on her knees, still attentive and biting back her lip even harder. She was so desperate to take her in her arms but had to respect Callie's wish.
The power returning, Callie wiped back her tears and coughed back her voice.
"He said it would be fine, I'd like it when it was happening. That I was just scared. When I said I wasn't ready he got defensive, said that he was risking a lot for me. That people, you know, that they wouldn't understand our relationship and that he needed to be sure it was worth it. That this was what...what I owed him." her voice grew cold and bitter as the memory of it returned more vividly than ever. She thought now from the view of this older girl. This protector. She wanted to break into that bedroom and pull him off her younger self, armed with everything she knew now. To call out his every lie, every manipulation. To tell him no! Insist no. To take away his power like he had taken away hers.
Zoning back into her surroundings she first looked to Lena, her face wrought with anguish and pain on Callie's behalf. She then looked down at Stef who had taken the momentary silence to exchange a sympathetic look with Brandon. She knew he would be finding this painful to hear, he would never have heard anything like this before from someone's reality, let alone from someone he cared about.
She gulped down the dryness in her throat again and felt a wash of guilt for subjecting them to this.
"Sorry, this is probably really...well. Unexpected."
"Callie, love. Don't even think of apologising. We're glad you came to us." Stef assured her, compromising to touch her knee.
"I can't believe you've been facing this alone all this time." Lena added, softly. "The important thing you need to know now is wherever you want to go with this, whatever you wanted to get out of telling us - we're here for you and you don't need to face this alone anymore."
A warm relief flowed through her and almost set off her tears again. The huge weight was finally off her. She was safe. Jude was safe. They knew her secret and CPS weren't on the phone. Whatever the implications would now be, her worst fear for now was gone. She swallowed down her relief and dared to attempt the next sentence, tear free.
"There's more I just...I just need a breather." She gasped out, her throat even drier.
Stef looked between her and Lena and pulled herself off the edge of the chair where she sat.
"Brandon, why don't you and I get some tea." Stef suggested. "Callie sweets, maybe you should go and sit with Lena, we'll be back in a few moments and we can talk some more. Brandon?" She looked at Brandon placing a hand around his back. He kept his gaze on Callie before shaking it back.
"Come on, love." Stef guided him reluctantly into the kitchen.
"I can't believe she went through all that." He broke the silence as they walked quietly into the kitchen. Stef flicked on the kettle and cupped his cheeks.
"You did a really good thing today. Helping her come out of her shell like that." She whispered stroking his cheeks with her thumbs.
"You are a good brother." She whispered, kissing his head. "I know this can't be easy for you to hear." Brandon stood silent as she pulled him firmly into a hug, she was relieved to be able to channel her need to coddle into one of the kids she had free reign with to do so.
"If you want to, we can take it from here."
He looked through to the other room where Callie was sat. He was fighting the urge to comfort her almost as much as Stef, but he could tell when he was out of his depth. Hearing her describe it not only rattled his protectiveness but there was also a strong sense of anger coursing through him, that someone like that had violated her. Had manipulated and broken her. He wasn't sure how many more details he could take and knew that was coming.
"What if she needs me?" He whimpered out.
"Sweetheart, you have done so much already. She won't mind."
He nodded and returned through to the living room, crossing eye contact with Callie as he did. She gave him a nod and the best smile she could muster assuring him this was OK, she was safe now. He walked as casually as he could up the stairs and into his room, closing the door behind him. He felt a stronger pull on his heart than he had done before and it wrenched and twisted. This was deeper than he could control.
After Brandon had gone Callie turned her attention back to Lena. She had now taken Stef's vacant position. The worst of the re-telling was over and she didn't feel as scared of contact now she knew the next topic of conversation would be Sarah. She wasn't easy yet with their comforting of her, but it was certainly easier for her to accept if she didn't feel she was the main recipient.
"Callie, what you said about him telling you you owed him...that you needed to prove -"
"I know it's not true." Callie cut her off, sensing the fear in Lena's voice that these words had impacted her confidence.
"I maybe believed them before, but not now."
Lena pulled a hair out of the young girl's face and placed it delicately behind her ear.
"Is that what gave you the strength to come forward?" She asked.
Callie hadn't really thought of it like that. She knew something had shifted when she had seen Sarah, but she hadn't thought of it as courage. Her answer was avoided regardless, as Stef returned with a tray of mugs.
She placed it down on the table and handed them each one. She was tempted to down the two previously poured glasses of wine but there would be time for that later.
Taking the seat the other side of Callie she angled herself to be able to see both her and Lena's faces.
"OK. Whenever you're ready, love." she invited as Callie firmly clasped the mug in her hands, taking comfort in the burn as a distraction.
"The main reason I needed to tell you this, well. Liam was at the party we were at the other night. He made contact with me and he came to the school wanting me to back off."
Stef's concern now piqued with anger. She felt her war call and inadvertently postured to interrupt. Unexpectedly, Lena's had got in there first.
"He came to the school?" she confirmed, trying to hide the blatant horror.
Seeing her partner react in such a way gave Stef the strength to control her own outburst. She cleared her throat and did her best to adopt a calm tone.
"Honey if you're worried about him hurting you..."
"No. No, it's not that." Callie clarified. Even if she was, she wouldn't admit it while there was someone else more at risk.
"I'm worried about him hurting someone else. There's a girl in my group. She's living with them and he's doing it again, I know it."
Both Moms shared a look. They shifted in their seats at the thought that someone like that could be so close. Stef was used to dealing with people like this, and it wasn't the first time Lena had encountered similar from the troubled life of a student in her pastoral care. However, they had never felt it through the eyes of their child before.
"Is that why you wanted to change groups?" Lena asked, regaining her composure for clearer thought.
"I guess, yeah. Well, sort of. When I found out and asked some questions about him, he found out and she, well he didn't like it and...I mean I just wanted him to go away but I realise now that he won't."
"Honey, he will go away. Oh trust me, he will be away from you." Stef whispered, now the one struggling to hide the anger in her voice.
"No I get that, I do. I know that's why I had to come forward, just what I mean is - even if he went away from me...that won't get him away from Sarah. Not unless I...well."
Both Stef and Lena were lost for words. The maturity and the courage Callie was showing was exactly the traits that had made them want to protect her even more. Her self-sacrificing loyalty she offered so freely. This girl deserved to receive it more than anyone, and the fact that she had gone so long without getting it provoked every emotion in their body.
Unable to resist once again, Stef leaned forward and pulled Callie's rigid body into a crushing hug - hoping just a little to be able to transfer the wave of pride weighing down her body. She kissed her equally as firmly on the head as Callie felt those tears again, Lena now taking her hand and placing her other on her leg.
"You...you are..." Stef stuttered, pulling back away and taking her other hand. She gave Lena a signal with her eyes.
"You are doing an incredibly noble thing, Callie." Lena took over. "I hope you realise how important this is. Facing an experience like this to protect someone else, making yourself re-live it. Don't ever underestimate how brave that is. Whatever happens now." Lena assured her gently, Stef nodding with relief that she could always rely on Lena's yin to articulate what her yang could only express through her actions.
"So." Stef sat back brushing her hand down Callie's arm. "What do you want us to do?"
Stef looked her deep in the eye. Callie paused, she hadn't really thought that far ahead - nor was she expecting it to ever have been her choice.
"I haven't really thought about...I mean. I want Sarah to be safe." she commented.
"OK, well. We will talk to Bill and alert CPS. Of course, you know that you'll have to report it, officially." Lena informed her.
"Yes. I know." Callie's head dipped. Stef took her hand again.
"Sweetheart, we're not going to let anything bad happen to you. We told you you'd be here until something was permanent and we have no intention of that changing. Whatever this means for your record - you're safe here."
Callie nodded with a hesitant smile. They were words she had finally accepted, but it never hurt to hear them again, even if deep down she still never took it for granted.
"And do you want to try and press charges?" Stef asked, much to Callie's surprise.
"Charges? For what?" her face dropped in confusion. She certainly hadn't considered that.
"Sweetheart...he raped you."
Callie froze. It was the first time she had ever heard someone say it.
"Callie?" Lena rubbed her leg softly, working her back into the zone.
"Right." she croaked out. "It's just...it was so long ago and...I mean, it's my word against -"
"Honey, don't worry about that now. I'll make some enquiries and we can take it from there." Stef suggested glancing the back of her hand across Callie's cheek.
"I just need a couple more details. Exactly how old is this boy? Then and now?"
Callie was about to answer before another voice did it for her.
"He's 21."
Next Chapter preview: Stef tries to explain the full extent of the situation to Kasey and Callie tries to process Liam's actions at the risk of her new-found relationship with her foster sister.
"Did he hurt you? Oh my God. I'm gonna be sick." she gulped back tears and pinched her nose, her pacing becoming more furious.
"Callie, he didn't touch me - we went out a couple of times..."
"Girls, can we just take a -" Lena attempted but quickly was cut off, this time by Callie.
"How could this happen? How could you fall for him? You of all people!"