Losing Your Memory - RyanStar.

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." - Leo Tolstoy.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Steve had never before in his life been so glad to hear the sound of a heartbeat. Every time the heart monitor beeped, he squeezed Katie's hand a fraction tighter, wishing for her to open her eyes. But, she'd been at the tower for a week now, and had yet to do so.

Tony really did think of everything when he rebuilt the tower and turned it into Avengers Tower. It had everything each Avenger would need plus some. Hell, everyone even had their own floor. But the part that was being used the most lately was the few rooms Tony included on the main living area that acted as a mini hospital.

Normally, if a team member was hurt, they would hang out at Bruce's office for a few hours until they were all better again. But Tony still included a few rooms, just off the main living area, that were almost like hospital rooms for the ones who needed a few more days to heal. They weren't as dreary or dull as a normal hospital room, but it served the same purpose.

This was where Steve now spent his days.

A week ago they'd finally found Katie and brought her home. And she hadn't opened her eyes since Steve had carried her out of the cell. Bruce and Tony had informed Steve and the others that this was normal, especially after what she'd been through. Still, this didn't calm Steve's nerves one bit, because he still had yet to know what his daughter had really been through.

The moment the jet had landed at the tower, Bruce had Katie rushed off the aircraft and to his office, with Steve and Tony following close behind while everyone else went off to wait. Once at the office, Steve was surprised to see a young woman there. Tony introduced her as Helen Cho and said she was a world-renowned geneticist and an old friend, who was also a colleague of Erik Selvig.

Steve stood back next to Tony as they watched Helen and Bruce get to work. They hooked Katie up to different IVs and it was only when Helen was about to take off the rags Katie was wearing and put her in a hospital gown that they stopped.

Bruce looked over at them with a small, sad smile on his face. Steve knew what he was trying to say without really saying it. He'd just got his daughter back and now, he needed to leave her side again. And even though Steve knew where Bruce was coming from, he didn't move. He stayed with his foot planted to the ground. It was only when he felt a hand on his shoulder that he looked away from Katie's sleeping face over at Tony.

"She's safe now, Cap." Tony told him in a reassuring voice. But Steve still stood his ground as he turned back to Katie.

"Steve," Bruce spoke up, causing Steve to left his eyes to meet his. "Helen and I will take good care of her."

"She's not going anywhere this time, Steve." Tony added as one final push.

Steve took in a breath through his nose. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. He sent Katie one last longing look before looking up at Helen and Bruce. He gave him a nod. Tony gave Steve's shoulder a squeeze before turning and walking out of the room, with Steve slowly following behind him.

After that, Steve wasn't allowed in to see Katie for two days. The first day was when Bruce and Helen checked Katie over and fixed her up as best as they could. And because she had been captured for five months - Steve cringed whenever he thought about that - and no one could talk to Katie, they couldn't exactly figure out what she'd been through. Therefore, Bruce and Helen took extra care with looking her over and spent a good 25 hours in the lab patching her up. Bruce tried to calm Steve's nerves a bit by saying they just wanted to make sure that no cuts and scars were infected, if there had broken bones then they were healed up well, and if bones were broken now, they were wrapped correctly.

None of this calmed Steve down. Not one bit

Once Bruce and Helen had done their job, they put Katie in a room off the main living area. But Steve still wasn't allowed to visit her. They wanted to make sure nothing was going to go wrong and her body was going to react good to all and any drugs that they had to pump into her body. Therefore, it wasn't until the third day that Steve was able to go in her room. And that's where he now basically spent all his days.

He only left the room when he needed to use the bathroom, shower, and to let the others in to see Katie. Cause the team was doing just as bad as Steve was at that moment.

They were all anxious. Waiting for Katie to wake up. They put hunting down HYDRA bases on hold. Even after they got word that Loki's specter was stolen just days after getting Katie back. Thor decided to split his time between the tower and trying to find out where the specter was. But other than that, Katie was everyone's first thought.

Bruce spent a nice bit of time in her room. He said that it was because he was checking up on everything and making sure nothing was wrong. Steve caught him once or twice sitting at Katie's bedside, though. Thor spent some time with Katie, using old Asgard prays and traditions that were used to make someone heal faster. Clint tried to act tough, but no one was falling for it. Him, Natasha and Katie used to train together, everyone knew that Clint basically loved Katie like a sister.

Natasha and Tony seemed to be taking this the hardest, besides Steve of course.

Natasha, Steve understood why she was having a hard time dealing with everything. He knew Katie and Natasha were best friends, sisters even. Plus, she'd been there when Katie was taken. Steve knew she blamed herself for the most part, because that's what he did. Natasha and him, they were in the same boat. And Natasha wasn't one to show emotion. Not emotion like this anyways. So Steve never brought it up when he'd walk in and see Natasha sitting next to Katie, holding her hand with silent tears rolling down her cheeks. He just walked over, gave her shoulder a squeeze and waited for her to finish, then she'd just get up and walk out.

Tony however, was a different story. Steve couldn't figure him out. Steve knew that Tony had had some part in getting Katie to come up from Tennessee, but it was one of those things that Tony and Katie kept between them. And he knew that Howard was an uncle to Katie. But there was something else, something that Steve couldn't put his finger on. It was almost as if Tony and Katie had a secret pact to always look out for each other. Steve walked in on Tony once, sitting by himself at the breakfast bar, and Steve can honestly say he'd never seen Tony look so lost as he tipped back his drink. He looked like he failed.

Steve gently brushed back some of Katie's hair as he took her in for the millionth time. She was pale. Not as pale as she'd been when Steve had found her in the cell, but still pale. All the dirt and blood that had covered he body before was gone now. Natasha had taken it upon herself to clean Katie up further, after Bruce and Helen were done with their work. She washed her down and freshened her up. Her hair looked its golden blonde again, though it hung loose and lifeless on her head, falling a good few inches past her shoulders. Steve hadn't thought he could scar. He'd scored some pretty bad cuts in the past, but they'd all healed perfectly. But now, as he looked at Katie's arms, he could see that it definitely was possible to scar. And anger boiled in his stomach whenever he thought about how much pain and time must have went into each cut. And Steve was glad he could only see her arms and face. She also had dark circles under her eyes, making her face seem paler and more sunken in then it actually was. Steve had never seen his daughter look so helpless and fragile before in his life.

There was suddenly a light tap on the door followed by the sound of the wood being pushed opened slightly. But Steve didn't turn around.

"Steve," Natasha soft voice called from the door. "Banner's ready."

Steve didn't move. His grip on Katie's hand tightened. Today was the day everyone in the tower was dreading. Bruce had spent the past week in his lab going over all his test results on Katie. He said he wanted to get everything as close to correct as possible before he shared everything he found with the team. Last night, Bruce said that he would have everything ready for today.

Steve took a deep breath in through his nose. He watched Katie's chest rise and fall as he listened to Natasha slowly move into the room.

"It'll be okay," Natasha placed a hand on Steve's shoulder and he couldn't help be lean into her touch. "It's going to be hard, but it's going to be okay too."

"I know," Steve all but whispered. "We need this to help her get better."

Natasha didn't reply, but Steve didn't think she would anyways. Him and Natasha understood each other. They knew when to use words and they knew when to just use actions. And right now, all they both needed use each other, to help the other get through this.

Him and Natasha, he wasn't sure what was going on. He knew that they'd gotten a lot closer since they became partners before all this happened. And he knew that they got even closer while looking for Katie. They just understood each other. But his daughter was his number one priority. So he'd deal with Natasha and everything once Katie was taken care of.

"Come on." Natasha said softly, giving Steve's shoulder a light squeeze. "Everyone's waiting."

Steve sent Katie one last look, her face relaxed. She looked so peaceful while she was sleeping

Steve slowly nodded his head before pushing himself up out of the chair. He never felt more like his age than he did these past few months.

Quietly, he followed Natasha out of the room. He silently closed the door behind him before him and Natasha made their way down the hall and into the main living area where everyone was already sitting around, waiting.

Not one person sitting it the living room looked like they wanted to be there. They also looked like they needed some more sleep. Between hunting down HYDRA, finding Katie, and now trying to get a hold of Loki's specter, sleep was the last thing on everyone's mind.

Clint was sprawled out in the chair while Thor sat down on the couch. Tony was standing off to the side by the window. Bruce held his spot at the front of the room, in front of the fireplace. Natasha walked over and sat on the loveseat, and it was only as Steve started to follow her that he noticed Sam sitting on the other end of the couch.

"Hey man," Sam gave him a slightly nod and a tight smile. Sam was an easy-going guy. He got along with the team nicely. He knew how to ease the tension in a room and could lightly any mood. But this was too much for even Sam.

"Hey," Steve nodded back. He sat down on the loveseat next to Natasha, and he couldn't keep the confused expression off his face. Last he talked to Sam was a few days ago over the phone. It'd been a quick call, just enough for them to check in with one another. "I didn't realize you were coming over."

Sam gave him a knowing look before nodding in Bruce's direction. "He called me in."

A sigh escaped Bruce's lips, causing everyone to look over at him. He rubbed a hand over his face before placing his glasses back on. "I think… We're going to need Sam's help."

If the temperature in the room was cold and tense before, that was nothing compared to what it was now. Steve wanted to sit back and listen to what Bruce had to saw, but his body failed him. His shoulders hunched forward and he rested his arms on his legs as he closed his eyes to take a few deep breaths.

"What do you mean?" Clint crossed his arms, eyes narrowed in on Bruce.

Bruce's eyes shifted over everyone in the room. He looked like everyone else, drained of energy. The team worked hard on destroying HYDRA these past number of months while Bruce stayed on the sideline for the most part. Now, Bruce was making up for it by basically living in his lab since they brought Katie home.

"I went over all of Katie's test results." Bruce started slowly before pausing, almost as if he didn't know where to start. Steve's stomach flipped as Bruce took a deep breath. "Physical, it would seem she suffered some pretty bad burns on her torso and legs, most likely from the explosion."

Steve glanced over at Natasha and she had the same look on her face that was on his. The explosion that happened at the old HYDRA base. They'd gotten away with only a few cuts and Katie suffered third degree burns. Guilt was eating away at Steve as his heart clenched.

"Helen has gone back to her lab. She's working on something that could possibly heal the burns and dead skin. So fixing up the old skin and burns should be no problem in a few weeks." Bruce continued. Despite his words however, they did nothing to calm Steve down. "She's also suffered a number of broken bones. Her leg, arm, ribs. Thankfully, they have all seemed to have healed properly. She's also suffered a concussion and some internal bleeding at some point. But it would seem her body did a good job healing itself. For the most part…"

"The most part?" Sam questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Bruce nodded slowly as he stuck his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. "While Helen and I looked over Katie, we noticed a number of… scars."

"Scars?" Thor spoke up, his eyes flicking to Steve. "Are you and Lady Katherine not invincible?"

"There are scars on her arm," Natasha pointed out before Steve could respond to Thor. "They're faded and you need to really look to see them, but they're there."

"Yes." Bruce nodded. "But these aren't the scars that got my attention. J.A.R.V.I.S.?"

"Yes Dr. Banner."

"Can you pull up Katie's medical file?"

"Right away, sir."

The lights dimmed slightly and a blue hologram popped up in the middle of the room. It was quite as Bruce flicked through the files. However, after just a few seconds, he pulled up a picture and made it bigger for the group to see.

It was a photo of Katie's bare stomach. Steve's heart stopped and he clenched his fist. An ugly, jagged, red scar started at her left rib and went all the way down to her right hip bone. The red of the scar made her already pale stomach look even paler. The scars on her arm were nothing compared to what was in front of Steve at this moment. He wanted to cry and kick something all at once. But all he did was sit there, starring at the image.

"The scars on her arm," Bruce started to explain, breaking the silence. "They are random. Some are darker while others are more faded. But this one, this one isn't random."

"What do you mean?" Clint questioned.

"Katie's body, and yours Steve," Bruce nodded in Steve's direction, causing him to finally look away from the photo. "Are designed to heal very rapidly. They heal any cut and make it seem as if nothing happened in the first place. It takes a lot for your bodies to scar."

"What are you saying, Bruce?" Natasha spoke in a soft and low voice, causing Bruce to run a head through his hair.

"Whoever had Katie and did this," Bruce pointed to the photo of the scar. "They did it on purpose. They re-traced this path until her body just couldn't heal itself anymore. And it scarred."

"So whoever did this," Sam leaned forward, rating his elbows on his legs. "Wanted her to scar?"

"It would seem so."

Steve felt like his world was spinning. And it wouldn't stop. So much energy was moving through his body at the moment, but he was frozen in his spot. He couldn't move. Couldn't speak. All he could do was listen to what everyone was saying around him.

"Why would someone do that?" Thor questioned.

"I have a, theory." Bruce stated. Then he paused for a moment. "What would HYDRA do if they had the daughter of Captain America?"

"Experiment."

Steve jumped. He actually jumped. Because between everything that was going on right now, he forgot that Tony was even in the room. He hadn't said a word since Steve entered the room and had been looking out the window the whole time. Now, with everyone's eyes on him, he took a few steps closer to the group, arms crossed.

"They'd experiment on her." Tony repeated. His voice was hard and emotionless. "She's one of two of the only people in the world with the super-solider serum in her DNA. She's built to physically overcome anything. They'd see how far they could push her body."

Silence fell around the room as everyone let this set in. Steve's mind went blank. This was his daughter. His flesh and blood. And for the past five months, she had been a lab rat for HYDRA because she had the super-solider serum in her. Steve felt drained. It was only when he felt something warm touch his hand that he moved. He glanced down and found Natasha holding his hand. And when he looked up, he found her watching him with a hard, emotionless look, but tired eyes. With whatever strength Steve had left in him, he gave her hand a light squeeze.

"Why?" Sam broke the silence, his voice low. "What good would come from them seeing what her body could withstand?"

Bruce let out anything deep breath. "I thought the same thing, that's when I found these."

Bruce swiped the photo of the scar on Katie's stomach and three other pictures came up. One of Katie's right inner elbow, another of her lower back, and one of her left side. They were all the same, pin-sized holes pierced in her skin.

"They look like needle points." Clint pointed out, and Bruce nodded.

"They are." He confirmed before he pointed to each individual picture. "What I figure is, the one on her elbow was used to draw blood. Back was for spinal fluid and her hip was bone marrow. They're scarred, so these had to be done pretty often."

"Why would they need such things?" Thor asked.

"My theory, is they were trying to find out what made Katie heal so quickly." Bruce answered before his eyes shifted to Steve.

Steve's heart was beating hard against his rib cage as he looked over at Bruce, his mind trying to wrap around what he was just told.

"So," he said slowly. "They were trying to figure out the serum, basically?"

Bruce nodded, a grim look on his face. "Yes."

"Well, did it work?" Clint sat up in his seat, face serious.

"We don't know." Bruce rubbed a hand over his face, knocking his glasses to the side slightly. "We have no way to know if they succeeded. Not until Katie wakes up anyways."

Silence overcome the room as everyone let this new information set in. Thoughts started clouding Steve's head one after another. What would happen if HYDRA did get a hold of the serum? How much pain did Katie really go though? Was this going to be as simple as healing dead skin? Thoughts kept flashing before him until they all blurred together and he couldn't even think any more.

Steve couldn't help but list off everything Bruce just told them. Broken bones. Third degree burns. Concussions. Internal bleeding. External bleeding. Scars. Poked at with needles. He threw himself back against the couch. He was getting overwhelmed. Hell, he was already overwhelmed. Just thinking about all the physical pain his daughter had been through was-

Steve shot up straight, so fast that Natasha almost jumped as she turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. But Steve's eyes went straight to Bruce, who was pacing in the front of the room at this point.

"You said physically." Steve stated, getting the attention of everyone in the room. But his eyes stayed on Bruce. "At the start. Everything you listed off was physical."

Everyone looked from Steve to Bruce, who kept his eyes on Steve for a few long moments. A sigh finally left his lips and he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up.

"All these physical scars and damage, Katie can overcome easily. For the most part. That's why I'm not too concerned about them." Bruce stopped his pacing and turned to face the group, his face grim. "But it wasn't until I did more testing and looked closer at the results, that I realized something about all the physical damage."

"What did you see?" Tony narrowed his eyes, arms crossed as he stood behind the couch that housed Thor and Sam.

"The scars, broken bones, concussions, they're all months old." Bruce pointed out. "A month or two at the least. The only thing that seems constant is the needle points."

"And?" Clint questioned.

"My concern is, why it stopped." Bruce clarified. "Why did HYDRA stop the physical experiments, and what did they do with Katie the last few months she was in their hands."

"And you came up with some theories for this." It sounded like it was supposed to be a question, but Tony's voice made it seem more like a statement.

Bruce sighed as his face went dark. "These past five months have been very traumatic for Katie. Physically and mentally. Maybe, the reason they stopped doing what they were doing was because she couldn't take it anymore. You all saw what happened when her body couldn't heal itself anymore. Maybe… maybe her mind has reached that point too."

Steve didn't know which was worse. Hearing all the physically damage his daughter had been through. Or hearing about the mental damage she more than likely also had to suffer.

"That's why you called Sam in." Natasha stated. Bruce nodded.

"I believe it's safe to say Katie will suffer from PTSD when she wakes up. How severe it will be, there's no way to say. But, she's also in a very vulnerable place right now. Our best bet would be to have Sam talk to her. He's someone we all trust, so Katie should have no problem trusting him. He can help her through her PTSD, as well as possible."

"I'll help in any way I can." Sam nodded. He turned to Steve, who gave him a nod and a tight smile.

"What shall the rest of us do?" Thor asked.

"The most we can do right now is make sure we keep Katie in a calm, stable environment." Bruce explained. "We can't overwhelm her yet."

"Which means," Sam's eyes flicked to Steve and Natasha. "We have to be careful with what we say about S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA around her."

God, telling Katie about everything with S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA, Bucky, that was the last thing on Steve's mind right now. But he still gave Sam a tight nod. Because he was right. The last thing they needed to do right now was tell Katie S.H.I.E.L.D. was no more. Not to mention who died and who lived trying to bring down HYDRA.

"We just have to make sure she's as comfortable as can be right now," Bruce spoke up again. "The last thing Katie needs right now is-"

A bloody curling scream ripped through the air. Everyone was on their feet in no time, and it only took Steve a few seconds to realize the scream was coming from down the hall. From Katie's room.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Katie didn't want to open her eyes. She was keeping them closed if it was the last thing she did. Which, for all she knew, it could possibly be. Besides, over the past number of months, Katie grew to like the dark. Growing up, she'd always hated it. It was too unpredictable. And even though Katie grew to deal with the unpredictable, she still didn't like it. The dark that is.

But now, the dark ment she couldn't feel the pain. Every time she was awake - which was 75% of the time these days - she felt pain. It took over her body and mind. Every fiber of her being felt it. Hell, she couldn't remember a time when she didn't feel pain.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Katie wanted to cry. As she slowly started to wake up, her senses started to come back. And hearing always came back first.

She knew what those damn beeps meant. She knew it was too good to last. Stricken would keep her just sitting in her cell. No. No matter how long she managed to stay awake - or really, how long she didn't stay awake - he was going to keep using her until her heart stopped.

And Katie knew that was soon. Very soon.

Maybe this time she'd only last a minute, instead of two like last time. Then she could go back to dreaming about her father coming to save her.

Katie's heart started to break just thinking about it. It had felt so real. Every worried detail on his bearded face. The way his eyes shined with pain, joy, and anger all at once, just at the sight of her. She could still feel the warmth of his arms around her ever cold and broken body. Her hands could still feel the soft material of her uniform. And she had the beat of his heart memorized. It was all too real. And Katie couldn't wait to let the dark take her again so she could relive it.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Katie could feel herself waking up more and more with every passing beep. Her sense of touch slowly started to come back, and Katie automatically shivered. She expected to feel coldness. To feel the hard ground and stone under her and against her back. But she felt the opposite. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this warm, and whatever she was lying on was anything but hard.

Katie flexed her fingers. She felt a needle in her vein move slightly. An IV. She also felt her fingers grip a handful of soft fabric. And her eyes flew open.

She had to blink a few times to get use to the brightness of the room. The lights finally started to dim and Katie was able to look around and take everything in.

She was in a nice clean room. It was small, but bigger than anything Katie had been in lately. The walls were a nice blue color and the wall on her left was all window. There was hospital equipment all around her as well as a side table on each side of her. Both held different flowers and cards and there was a comfy looking chair on her right. There were also two doors in the room. One across from her and one of the right wall. Doors, by the looks of it, that weren't locked and Katie could use at her own will. Then, she looked down. She was in a hospital grown, but this one was new and way nicer and cleaner than the one she had been in before. She was also in a bed. An actual bed. She was tucked in with nice white sheets.

Katie could hear her heart rate starting to climb. Her breathing started to pick up as well. What was going on? This definitely wasn't HYDRA, that's for sure.

Katie wanted to cry. She could feel tears starting to sting her eyes. This had to be Wanda. It had to be. This was another damn dream, another play on her fear. Something else Katie just couldn't take anymore.

Without even realizing what was going on, Katie threw her head back against the pillows. Pillows that were too damn soft. A scream ripped through her throat before she could stop it.

She didn't even really know why she was screaming. If anything she felt like crying. Maybe she was all cried out and just needed to scream. Maybe, if she screamed enough, she'd end up waking herself up.

The door on her right suddenly flew open. Katie jumped as she turned to the door with wet, wide eyes. Her heart stopped before picking up again. Standing before her was her father. And he looked the exact same as Katie remembered him looking in her dream.

She wanted nothing more than to kill Wanda right now.

"Katie." Steve spoke in a soft and claiming voice. He slowly took a step toward her and Katie couldn't help but back away as best as she could.

She didn't want this. She couldn't look at him. It hurt too much. Just looking at her father made her realize she was likely never going to see her actual dad ever again. All the things she never got to tell him came running back to her and she almost broke down completely right then.

"Katie." Her 'father' spoke up again. He resumed walking towards her, and it took all of Katie's strength to hold up her hands. Steve came to a stop as Katie peaked up at him.

"Stop. Just stop." Katie whimpered. Her voice was so dry and raspy that it didn't even sound like her. Her hands flew to her head and she pulled her knees up to her chest as she looked away from not-Steve. "You aren't real. This is a dream. This is a dream. You aren't here."

Katie repeated this over and over again. Her eyes were closed tight with her hands over her ears. Then, she jumped as she felt a set of big, warm hands gently grab her wrists, pulling her hands down. She looked up, tears in her wide eyes as she met not-Steve's eyes. He was sitting on the side of the bed, watching her with so much love and hurt that almost made Katie believe this wasn't just a dream.

"Katie," not-Steve said as he gripped her hands in his. "This isn't a dream. You're here. We got you."

Katie shakily shook her head. "No, I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't believe you..." She repeated as she shut her eyes close again. She softly started rocking back and forth, pulling her hands out of not-Steve's. She brought them back to her head again and covered it with them.

"Katie?" not-Steve whispered, sounding absolutely heartbroken. She could feel his hands tentatively land on her shoulders and back, and she shied away from them. The hands swiftly pulled back.

Katie could vaguely hear some people entering the room but paid them no mind. This all wasn't real anyway. It was all just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream. She didn't believe them. Just a dream. The mantra kept going in her head until she suddenly felt lightheaded and the sweet darkness took her again.

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!

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