Just another response re: Kim/Kayla and the Charlie story.
The mention of Charlie came during a conversation between Bo and Kayla in the fall of 2006. Bo was teasing Kayla about the high school track star that she was so in love with. Apparently, Kayla had quite the crush on the guy and talked about how when he finally asked her to the school dance, he then spent the whole night with Kim. Bo says he remembers that night because of the fight between Kim and Kayla and how Kayla locked herself in the bathroom and Kayla says something about Bo taking the hinges off the door to get in. The conversation is, overall, pretty light and teasing but that is where this bit about Charlie in this fic comes from. In the interest of full disclosure, the scene never mentions any sexual activity between Kim and Charlie. So that particular aspect may not be canon depending on how one interprets the Bo/Kayla scene.
As for it feeling like a retcon because it does not match up with the Kim that appeared in 1984-85, I guess that depends on perspective. I think a dominant theme in both the teen Kim described in the scene and the Kim who returns to Salem in 1984 is that she is a young woman struggling with the difference between what she feels about herself because of the abuse and what her parents (primarily her father) feel about her (i.e. the "best and brightest" tag). I see this episode with Charlie as a symptom of Kim's unaddressed abuse. On that night, suffering from low self-esteem and jealous of her sister, Kim acted out in a way she was taught by Uncle Eric, by using sex to please a man. It is that same Kim who ran away from her family and became a prostitute in Europe, which, though she later regretted, appears to be something she did voluntarily (unlike when she is blackmailed by Linda Anderson back in Salem). Obviously, perspectives on Kim will vary, but I think it is possible to see that this younger Kim looked to sex as a way to validate herself, while also convincing herself that she's not the good girl deserving of the pedestal on which has been placed by her father. Some of that conflict is still there when she returns in 1984, particularly in how she avoids dealing with her parents when she first arrives home, though by that time, Kim regrets her choice to become a prostitute. Nonetheless, she still feels ashamed about it and struggles with Shawn's continued insistence that she is his "best and brightest."
With respect to Kim shying away from physical contact with Shane, I guess I see that very differently as well. I always thought her hesitance with Shane was due to her realizing that their relationship was much deeper than just physical and her feeling unworthy of that love because of her past. I never thought Kim feared physical contact before she slept with Shane. (It would be hard to reconcile that with her history of prostitution.) What I think caused Kim to hesitate with Shane was entirely emotional fear, because making love to Shane was something so different than her past, purely physical experiences. Even before she decided to go to London, she indicated that it would be a huge step for her in terms of committing to Shane and having to face some of her past, and she needed to know if Shane could handle that. That emotional fear also explains why she only made love to Shane at Donovan Manor after he told her that he loved her and assured her that her past did not matter to him.
With Victor, I see her issues after having sex with him as being about guilt and self-loathing. Sleeping with Victor created the very real feeling that Kim could never escape the past she had fought to put behind her. And that was why she felt she could not tell Shane, since she feared how he would react to her using her body. But, again, perspectives vary.
Also, I think Kim did feel family loyalty was important. But she is no more perfect than any of the rest of the Bradys in that regard. They love each other fiercely, but they are also capable of having selfish moments and of hurting each other. And, again, we are talking about high school kids here, not mature adults. Even looking back, Kim cannot fully explain in her mind why she did what she did to Kayla. In any event, I hope readers understand that the Charlie thing did not come out of nowhere and it was not intended to bash Kim or anything of the sort. It was intended only to flesh out some of the long-buried resentments that Kim and Kayla both have about their relationship in the hopes of finally resolving them.
One last point in response to the comment about the timing of the story. Figuring out when the story should begin was a challenge. Waiting until after Kayla and Shane slept together was not an option, because that happened simultaneous with the reveal about Jeannie's paternity (after Cal returns and kidnaps Kim and Kayla), which I think would have dramatically changed the Shane/Kim issues. Also, Shane leaves Salem almost immediately after he and Kayla reconcile and he does not return until Kim has left Salem for Los Angeles. That just didn't jibe with the plot. As for having the story begin before Kim slept with Lawrence, that did not really work because Kim's relationship with Lawrence was critical to Kayla committing to a relationship with Shane. Also, timing-wise, having the story begin earlier would have put the story in the middle of Lawrence's rape trial.
Frankly, I never thought the fact that Kayla had not yet slept with Shane made much of a difference in terms of the validity of Kim's feeling betrayed. Kayla had fallen in love with Shane and had accepted his mother's ring, which Steve rightly pointed out made her practically engaged. Moreover, would it really have changed things if the story began in December after Shane and Kayla slept together? It still would have occurred more than a year after Steve died, which would have still been a stark contrast to how Kim approached Cal (and Lawrence). And that contrast seems to me to be the most important issue.
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Steve sat at the kitchen table feeding Stephanie her breakfast. He could not help but smile as his rambunctious daughter all but bounced in her high chair, eager to be done and set free again.
"One more bite, Little Sweetness," he said, holding the spoon in front of her. Stephanie turned her head away, but with a bit more coaxing, Steve got the bite down.
"You're getting good at this." Kayla walked into the kitchen, her hair still wet from her shower.
Steve smiled. "Practice makes perfect, I guess." He pointed to the counter. "There's a fresh pot of coffee-" He stopped as the doorbell rang.
"Who would be ringing our doorbell at 7:30 in the morning?" Kayla's voice was a mix of irritation and concern.
"I don't know, baby," Steve replied as he stood up. "I guess I'll go find out."
Steve walked from the kitchen to the living room and looked through the peephole. On the other side, he could see the distorted image of his little brother standing nervously at the door. Sighing, Steve opened the door.
"Morning, Jack. What brings you by so early?"
Jack looked down at the newspaper he held in his hands. "There's something I think you need to know about. Do you . . . uh . . . do you mind if I come in?"
"Sure," Steve said without enthusiasm. He stepped out of the doorway and let Jack in.
"Who's at the-" Kayla's voice caused Steve to turn. She stood at the kitchen entryway, holding Stephanie. Steve watched as her eyes immediately narrowed and her expression darkened.
"What are you doing here, Jack?" she asked, her tone matching her look.
"I . . . uh . . . I needed to talk to Steve." Jack shifted uncomfortably back and forth. "There's something he . . . that is the two of you, should know about."
"What? Another article you wrote?" Kayla asked sharply. "I think the first one was more than enough, don't you?"
Watching Jack flinch at Kayla's pointed remark, Steve remained silent. He knew this was not the time to step in on Jack's behalf.
Jack glanced at Steve, clearly hoping for some help, but quickly realized none was coming. Turning back to Kayla, Jack said, "I know I deserve that but I didn't come here to cause any more trouble. I just figured you deserved to get this from me." He handed the newspaper in his hand to Steve.
Steve gave Jack a curious look, then opened the paper. He was surprised to see that it was a copy of the Salem Chronicle. "You delivering for the competition now, Jack?"
"Not by choice." Jack replied. "Take a look at the bottom of the front page."
Steve felt a sense of dread come over him as he turned the paper over. Just below the fold was a large headline, "True Story of the People Behind Salem's Biggest Traitor." Just below and to the right of the headline was a picture of him. No, not a picture - a mugshot. Judging by the clothes and the hair, Steve guessed it had been taken when he had been booked for the attempted murder of Harper Deveraux.
Next to his picture was a picture of Kim. It was another mugshot, obviously taken when Kim had been arrested for Emma Marshall's murder. Last was a mugshot of Kayla, taken after her arrest for Marina's murder.
Steve glanced at Jack who just stood silently with a look of regret. Steve looked at Kayla who was eyeing him with concern. He shook his head slightly and turned back to the paper, as he felt Kayla walk over beside him.
Within the first few sentences, Steve could tell that Rachel Knight had put all she had into this hatchet job. The introduction highlighted Steve's criminal past, Kim's past as a prostitute, and Kayla's relationship to Shane, Kim, and Steve - including her marriage to Jack. Knight had made everyone sound as sordid as possible.
"That witch," he heard Kayla mutter under her breath. She turned to Jack. "Tell me you didn't have anything to do with this?"
"I swear, I didn't." Jack said, holding up his hands. He sounded sincere. "Vern called me first thing this morning to tell me the article was in the Chronicle. I wanted you two to hear about it from me, not . . . somebody else."
Steve continued reading while trying to contain his temper. The article was more or less factually correct, but the facts were presented without context, and in a manner intended to make them all look as bad as possible.
When he finished reading, Steve looked at Jack. "I guess all that positive publicity you've been giving Shane just went out the window."
Jack shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm not going to stop now. I'm headed to the office to work on a rebuttal to this article."
"How are you going to rebut the truth?" Steve asked, his anger and frustration coming out. "Everything she says in there is true. Twisted, but true."
"Well I plan on untwisting it," Jack said. "She's not going to get away with this."
Steve whirled around and threw the paper against the wall. "Damn her!" he exclaimed. The noise startled Stephanie, who began to cry.
"I'm sorry, baby," Steve said, immediately hating himself for scaring his daughter. He softly stroked Stephanie's hair and kissed her head. "It's okay, baby girl. Papa didn't mean to scare you."
Kayla helped soothe Stephanie and she soon quieted. Jack cleared his throat and said, "I better get going." He looked at Steve and Kayla. "I really am sorry about all of this."
Steve nodded and walked Jack to the door. As Jack left, Kayla walked over and put Stephanie in her playpen. Then she walked to the phone and Steve listened as she informed the lab administrative assistance that she would be a little late getting in that morning. After she hung up the phone, she quietly walked over and picked up the newspaper from the floor.
"Just leave it there, Kayla." Steve's voice was harsh. "Better yet, just throw it away like the garbage it is."
Kayla walked back towards Steve. The more he thought about the article, the angrier he got. That woman had no right to drag his family through the mud like that. He didn't care about himself. He knew his past and knew who he was now. If he was the only one involved, he probably could have just shrugged it off. But it was not just about him. The woman had highlighted Kayla's marriage to Jack and her relationship with Shane, including a biting remark about how Kayla seemed to like to "keep things in the family."
He looked at Kayla who was still holding the paper while sitting on the couch. She was the best person he had ever known. She was the last person who deserved to be treated with anything but respect. Yet, once again, his past and his mistakes were coming back to hurt Kayla. The last time it had happened, it had almost destroyed them. He would be damned if he would let that happen again. Without a word, Steve turned on his heels and headed for the door. He was going to find Rachel Knight and let her know exactly what he thought of her article. As he strode towards the door, he heard Kayla call out.
"Steve! Stop! Where are you going?"
"I'm going to give that reporter a little critique of her article," Steve replied through clenched teeth.
"Don't," Kayla said sharply. "It's just going to make things worse."
"Worse?" Steve sounded incredulous. "How could it get much worse than what she already wrote?"
"If you go after her, it's just going to give her motivation to write more articles," Kayla explained. "I know you're upset - so am I - but this will blow over." She sighed. "You need to just let it go."
"I'm not sure I can do that," Steve said, still angry. He turned towards the door, "I-" He stopped as he felt Kayla grab his wrist. As he instinctively pulled his hand away, he saw a series of pictures flash through his mind. A wrist wrapped in wire. A chain hung from the ceiling. A sneering guard holding a metal club. He froze as the pictures played over and over again. He could smell the guard's breath as he stood next to Steve. He could feel the blows from the club rain down on his body. And he could hear his own screams of pain.
Then a noise broke through the pictures. He strained to hear it. It was his name. Someone was calling his name.
"Steve!" It was Kayla's voice. "Listen to me, Steve. Come on, baby. Come back to me."
Slowly the pictures faded and the pain stopped. He blinked his eye and focused on Kayla standing a few feet away. He ran his hand down his face, wiping away the sweat on his brow.
"Are you okay?" Kayla asked, softly.
Steve nodded, then looked closely at her. "Are you okay? Did I-"
"You didn't do anything," Kayla reassured him. "You just pulled your hand away when I grabbed it. That's all."
Steve breathed a sigh of relief. He looked down at one wrist and the scars that lingered there. As he stared at the scars, he could finally see the wire that had caused them. Steve shook his head, again trying to clear the memories.
"Steve?" Kayla called to him again. "What happened? What did you remember?"
Remaining silent, Steve continued to stare at his wrists. Forcing himself to look at Kayla, he shook his head. "I . . . I . . . I don't want to talk about it." He turned away and walked back towards the couch.
"Don't turn away from me, please." Kayla said forcefully. "You can tell me anything. You know that." She stepped over to him. "Tell me what you remembered."
Steve sat down wearily on the couch and put his face in his hands. He felt Kayla sit down beside him. He did not want to tell her what he remembered, yet he also knew he had to. For her - and for him.
"I remembered how I got these scars on my wrists." His voice was emotionless.
"How?"
"After I was taken away, I kept trying to escape." He took deep, steady breaths trying to keep control of his swirling emotions and memories. "I was always caught and then the guards would beat me. I'd be sore for awhile, but it was never enough to make me stop trying to run." He took another deep breath. "Then a new guard arrived."
"What happened?" Kayla asked softly.
Steve stared silently at his wrists for a few moments and then haltingly told Kayla what he now remembered. When he finished he turned and looked at Kayla. Tears were streaming down her face and she reached for his hand. Without a word she brought his wrist to her mouth and kissed it. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that."
Steve nodded and reached over and wiped the tears from Kayla's cheek. "I'm sorry, too." He took a deep breath, then stood up. "You better get moving, baby. You need to get to work."
"Don't worry about that," Kayla insisted. "This is more important."
"I'm okay, Sweetness. Really." He gave a small smile. "In fact, I guess I have something new to talk to Dr. Friedman about today."
Kayla looked closely at Steve, then ran her hand down his face, stopping to caress his cheek. "Thank you for trusting me and telling me what you remembered."
"Baby, I've always trusted you. It was me I didn't trust." Steve leaned down and gave Kayla a soft kiss. "Go on, go get ready for work. It'll be okay."
Kayla nodded and headed for the bedroom. As she left, Steve picked up the forgotten newspaper again. He knew Kayla was right. Going after Rachel Knight was not going to do any good right now. As angry as he was, there were more important issues to deal with. But Steve was not about to just let things go either. He would just have to hope that the time would come when Rachel Knight would get exactly what she deserved.