"Kim," Marlena said. Kim looked up from her paperwork to see her friend in the doorway of the Abuse Clinic.
"Hi, Marlena. What brings you by so early?" It was before 9 a.m. Kim had arrived at work only about 20 minutes earlier.
Marlena hesitated. "Are you okay?"
That's a loaded question, isn't it? Kim thought. No, she was not okay. She had been awakened in the middle of the night by Andrew's nightmare. When he had struggled to calm down, she had taken him to her room to sleep, but she had spent most of the night watching him toss and turn.
"No worse than any other day the past few weeks." Kim shrugged. "So I guess I'm okay."
"Uh . . . I guess you didn't see the Chronicle," Marlena said. She held a newspaper in her hand.
No, Kim had not see the Chronicle. Shane subscribed to the Spectator. Kim felt a blast of cold rush through her body. Hesitantly, she asked, "What's in the Chronicle?"
Marlena walked forward and handed the paper to Kim. She unfolded it and immediately saw the photos on the bottom of the front page. Kim wanted to toss the paper in the trash, but steeled herself and read the story.
With each paragraph, Kim's fury increased. Everything was distorted. She felt dirty just reading it. It should hardly have surprised her though. She had known what Rachel Knight was up to, and the article came through in spades. It painted Kim as a sleazy hooker who slept around so much, she could not even figure out who the fathers of her children were. It even called into question her working at the hospital, asking how she could be trusted with abused children.
Steve and Kayla hardly made out any better. There were details about Steve's life published there that Kim did not even know. Shane shot Steve in Miami? That was something Shane never told her. There were also details about Steve threatening Hope with acid that Kim had never heard about, as well as information about Steve being questioned about potential involvement with Andrew's kidnapping. Kim remembered all too well when she had been convinced that Steve had been involved.
She gave a sad sigh as the article relived Kayla's past as well. No matter how angry she was at Kayla right now, Kim knew Kayla did not deserve the cheap shot about keeping things "in the family."
After finishing, Kim flung the paper aside. She knew who was behind Rachel's article. It had to be the ISA. Some of the information might have been in the public record or newspaper archives, but there was too much that could only have come from one of her family members or the ISA. She knew her family would not have talked, so it had to be the ISA. Feeding reporters with dirt was more of their "pressure" to force Shane to plead guilty. Kim was so angry she could barely see.
"Kim?" Marlena sounded worried.
"I'm okay," Kim said, her voice a little more than an angry hiss. "How could they do that?" she asked angrily. "After everything this family has given the ISA, how could they do this to us? How much have we lost to them? How much time did we lose with our husbands because of what we've given up for the ISA?"
Kim paused. "Oh no . . . Shane doesn't know about this. We don't get the Chronicle at the house." She grabbed for the phone.
"You don't have to call him," Marlena said. "Roman called him before he called me."
"What did Roman say?" Kim asked anxiously.
"Not much. Just that he told Shane."
Kim looked up at Marlena. "He doesn't need this. God, Marlena. . . ." Kim stood up and began pacing. "Shane's so close to the edge right now. I don't know what this will do to him."
"Come on, Kim. Shane's a strong man."
Kim shook her head vigorously. "You haven't seen him," she explained. "I've barely seen him, but . . . the other night when he was talking to Roman. If you'd heard him-"
"Roman told me what Shane said." Marlena walked over to Kim. "He's scared and he doesn't know how to admit it."
Kim continued to shake her head. "If that's all it was, I wouldn't be so worried. He's going to break and I don't know what he'll do when that happens. The way he was talking to Roman . . . the way he kept saying we would be better if he had died. . . ."
Marlena took Kim's hand. "It was just talk and stress. Shane's not going to do anything."
"I wish you were right." Kim pulled away and walked over to a shelf filled with stuffed animals. "If he would just find some reason to fight. . . . I don't understand it, Marlena. He can tell me a thousand times that he can't fight the charges, but I can't understand how he can just give up on Andrew. Isn't his son worth more than that?"
"You know Shane better than anyone," Marlena said with a sympathetic smile. "You know he would never give up on Andrew if he believed there was any way to fight these charges. So, the question is: why doesn't he believe there's a way out?"
Kim was silent. That was the question that everyone seemed to be asking. And it was the question she knew she had yet to force Shane to answer.
"I don't know," Kim replied slowly. "I just know that if the thought of leaving Andrew isn't enough to make him fight, then nothing is."
"I don't know about that," Marlena said softly, looking at Kim.
Kim chuckled humorlessly. "If you are talking about me, you're wrong." Kim sighed. "I keep thinking if I could just show him how wonderful our love could be again, he'd find the strength to fight." She shrugged. "But he won't let me."
Marlena smiled and leaned against a wall. "I remember when you and Shane first met. How long did you dance around each other? And when you finally decided what you wanted, you had to work hard to break down Shane's walls. That took time."
They actually had done some of that already. Kim thought to their conversation about Cal and Kayla. Maybe Marlena was right and that's what Shane needed. But time was not something they really had, was it? Not the way Shane talked.
"I wish that I felt that was all it would take," Kim said softly.
Marlena gave Kim a sly smile. "Now who needs to find the strength to fight?"
Kim looked down and thought about the past. They had danced around each other for months. Finally, it had been Shane who had pushed Kim to commit to the relationship by going to England. He had pushed her to let down those final walls. Perhaps, now, their roles needed to be reversed.
With a nod, Kim felt a renewed sense of determination. "You're right," she said, looking at Marlena. "It's time I made Shane really see what he has that's worth fighting for."