Let the Rain Come Down

For readers of All I Want to Hear, I can reassure you that it has not been abandoned. I am working through some issues that will allow me to post an update very soon.

Disclaimer: All characters owned and created by Stephenie Meyer.

This chapter is unbeta'ed – any errors are mine and I apologise in advance.

~o.O.o~

Chapter 16

Jasper's POV

It seemed to me that life got a little brighter after our first session with the counsellor.

Edward still didn't want to go alone, choosing only to go with me. He talked a little more, sharing what he felt comfortable with, and together we began to forgive ourselves for what we had endured. It could be said that the events of our pasts were stepping stones, bringing us together. However, we preferred to think that we met despite the circumstances, rather than because of them.

My injuries were healing and I had managed to downplay them at work, relieved that the yellowing bruises on my neck were fading more and more each day. In the meantime, a warm scarf hid them in polite company. Despite Emmett's concern, I asked for my regular shifts back once I felt strong enough to cope. I wanted to move forward, to carry on as before and not take advantage of a situation that I could not and would not discuss with Elise.

Emmett agreed although I sensed the reluctance behind it. After the incident, he had wasted no time in getting outside lights fitted to the building, and I felt a little safer leaving after dark. However, it was no lie to say that I didn't linger, hastening my way between the buildings until I was standing on the well-lit street in full view of passers-by.

Late one afternoon I was hanging clothes in the menswear section, ensuring everything was in size order. My hand reached out to the rail for the next item and grasped an item that a quick glance proved to be a padded winter jacket. I took a closer look and saw it was in good condition, clean, and an attractive shade of sea green. I took it off the rack and slipped out to the break room. Once inside, I shrugged it on and fastened it up, seeing it was a little long for me but perfect for Edward. It felt much the same as my own, warm and with a high zipped collar, much lighter to wear than his own coat and well insulated for a Chicagoan winter.

Decision made, I hung it with my own jacket, only realising when I was back at the rails that I hadn't even glanced at the price tag.

It was meant for Edward and there was no way he wasn't going to have it.

~o.O.o~

Walking home with a bulky bag should've slowed me down. Instead, I was fuelled by the thought of Edward in a smart, well-fitting coat that wouldn't single him out straight away as poor. We were beginning to understand that a first impression was important and we wanted to be a part of the world after so long sidelined to the shadows.

Edward's eyes widened when he saw the carrier bag, knowing it was something from the store. I lacked any kind of poker face, a beam spreading from ear to ear. I held it out to him, watching him delve inside, the bag fluttering to the floor once his hands were full of fabric. His excited fingers fumbled before they managed to fasten the zipper, patting down the warm fabric, exploring the pockets and adjusting the collar.

Then he pounced on me, face shining with happiness, pulling me into a tight hug and thanking me over and over.

His smile was all the thanks I ever needed.

~o.O.o~

The first time he showed himself to me his face was the colour of the setting sun, overwhelmed with embarrassment, tight yet determined. To try to ease the situation I was also naked under the covers, giving him the opportunity to look and touch if he chose to.

It was always his choice.

We had been kissing, bodies pressed together, lost in the fog of desire that engulfed us. Now that his initial terror had been overcome he was growing in confidence, initiating the kisses that burned through me like flash lightning. I was his, letting him lead wherever he wanted to go. Lips trailed down my throat, my head thrown back against the pillow before my breath was stolen with another searing kiss that excited my body and obliterated all semblance of reality beyond his tender touch.

When he pulled away, I knew this was it.

His confidence guttered, hands gripping the covers so tight that the blood left his knuckles. I smoothed my fingers over his hands and waited until with a deep breath he found the strength to lower the covers just enough to expose his body to my gaze. Despite my desire, I wasn't prepared because aroused, he was a vision. My hand had held him under cover of darkness, had pleasured and caressed him, but to see him revealed was to see a fine painting.

I looked up and saw his crumpled face turned away. He was afraid of being reprimanded, of being a dirty, wicked child. All I wanted in that moment was to kiss him and reassure him that he was so beautiful, so perfect to me.

I touched his jaw and he turned his head. I needed him present, not lost in shame. His eyes were tight, fear dulling the light within.

"Sweetheart, you're more beautiful than I ever imagined." He pressed his lips together until they were white, struggling to hold his nerve. "If you want to look at me, you can. You don't have to."

His breathing caught, clearly torn between shame and curiosity. Unable to find his voice, he gave me the tiniest nod. I lowered the covers, exposing my erection, feeling his eyes on me, seeing another boy aroused for the very first time. Our bodies were similar in length, Edward a little thicker in girth perhaps. One thing was clear: our bodies were very happy to see each other, my own throbbing at the feel of his gaze.

I didn't ask him to touch me. He would do that when he felt confident enough to take that step. Right now, all I wanted to do was give him all the pleasure he deserved.

I pulled the covers back over us, cloaking our desire once again. Edward was tense, his eyebrows tight knit. I hated that he felt that way.

"Sweetheart, would you like me to make you feel good?"

He nodded, more than a hint of desperation in his face. His dry throat clicked. I took a breath.

"Now that I've seen how stunning you look, is it okay if I go under the covers? There's something I'd like to show you."

He looked a little confused but didn't say no. I wriggled down the bed, holding up the covers just enough so I could see his face. When his erection was in front of my face, I pressed my lips to the shaft before running my tongue in a wet stripe up the length of him to the swollen tip. His breathing was already irregular, and I had no doubt his heart was racing. I explored his shape with my tongue before taking the tip between my lips, hearing a stuttering whine leave Edward's mouth. My tongue danced and fluttered, my hand gripping his shaft while I sucked him, keeping him wet, my hand pumping in conjunction with my mouth's movements.

His hips were weaving and bucking, and I stole a glance up at him. He was lost in sensation, his brow creased, mouth open, whimpers of pleasure filling the air. I sank down, opening my throat to him, feeling his back arch with the unfamiliar sensation. His gaze locked with mine and in that moment he came hard, filling my mouth and throat, a desperate wail torn from his chest. I swallowed, cleaning him with my tongue, letting his body twitch and settle back into slumber.

Sleepy eyes watched me climb up the bed. I didn't kiss him, unsure of how he would react.

"If it's okay, I need to come too." I felt a little shy admitting it, despite my body's obvious excitement.

He nodded, but before I could take myself in hand, he pushed down the covers and reached for me, tentative but decided. His breath caught, the sound loud in the sudden silence, his fingers twitching. I held my breath when I felt his virgin touch, so inexperienced and gentle on my heated flesh. My body shuddered, chest hitching, watching and feeling his questing fingers trace the shape and length of me. I could see his disbelief at the boldness of his own actions.

Watching Edward come undone while I tasted him had been more than I could stand, and little stimulation was needed to me to reach my peak. He wrapped his fingers around me and pumped his fist a few times, emulating how I had pleasured him. With a cry of joy I came, excited beyond belief at the sight of his fingers on my flesh.

After cleaning up I got comfortable again, my body sated. Edward lay watching me, a questioning expression on his face. He swallowed.

"What you did… is that what you did with them? The… others?"

I shook my head.

"No. It really isn't. What I did with…for…them was give them what they wanted. They called the shots. I just got it done."

"But-"

"No, sweetheart, no 'but'. There was no feeling, no emotional connection, just revulsion most of the time. I blocked it out, kept it locked away in my head."

There was still something troubling him. I tried again.

"Sex for money was a means to an end. Mechanical. It's not like that with you." I took his hand and laced our fingers. "With you, I didn't want it to end."

There was a pause. I knew to be patient. He looked at me, the light of hope shining in his eyes.

"So, it's better? With me?"

I relaxed, understanding his worries at last.

"There's no comparison. Have you been worrying about this? Thinking I'm judging you?"

He reddened but shook his head.

"Not really. I guess I just needed to be sure, you know? I mean, you didn't kiss me after and my head said it was because it reminded you of business…" His brow scrunched.

I leaned in and touched my lips to his, hearing his reassuring inhale before he kissed me back.

"I didn't kiss you because I didn't want to freak you out. I worried you might find it disgusting after what I'd just done."

Relief flooded his face and he huffed in amusement.

"I always want to kiss you, Jas."

I grinned.

"That's good to know."

We snuggled together and I tucked the blankets around us. Edward slipped into sleep, his cheek resting against my upper arm, his arm thrown loosely across my body. I smiled. He made me feel fiercely protective, and I liked it, that feeling of pride that he was mine and I was his.

I marvelled at this beautiful boy who surprised me every single day. My fingers stroked his hair, loving that his tense, furrowed brow was now smooth and unblemished in peaceful slumber.

~o.O.o~

Our lives carried on with no discernible changes, good or otherwise.

We ate at the kitchen each week, always together and always happy to see Esme's smiling face in welcome. Edward met up with her at the market when he was free, enjoying the chance to catch up and also play ball with Rosie who was always ecstatic to see her friend.

My strength returned and I was once again the capable employee I had been before. I served customers on the register without flinching, making easy chit chat while I kept the queue moving. I did my best to blend in, to stay off of Elise's radar.

I was finishing up my only weekly morning shift when Emmett came onto the shop floor looking for me.

"Hey Jasper. Come and see me before you leave? I just want a quick word."

The old me would've feared the worst, expecting the world to come crashing down around me, but I knew I hadn't done anything to warrant a complaint. I was always on time and never slacked off. In fact, there was even the rare occasion I got to cover a spare shift, welcoming the extra income.

Knocking on the office door, I heard a 'Come in' and let myself in. Emmett lounged back in his desk chair, a half finished mug of coffee in front of him, his computer keyboard pushed off to the side. The usual heap of paperwork sat in a haphazard pile in his to-do tray.

"Hey, Jasper. Take a seat."

I sat down.

'I've been reviewing the rosters as we have a couple of staff leaving us shortly. The upshot of this is that there will be extra shifts available on a permanent basis. How would you feel about that?"

I gaped for a moment before nodding, desperate to not miss out.

"That would be amazing, Emmett. Just tell me when."

Emmett grinned. "I thought you'd be pleased. Not everyone wants to change their current arrangements – they fit around childcare and other commitments – but I reckoned that you and Edward could use the extra to make life easier."

He's such a good guy.

"You're not wrong. Thank you so much! Working here, it gives me a real sense of purpose, you know? So, does this mean I'll be here every day?"

He showed me my revised shift pattern and I saw that I'd have five shifts per week rather than three. The really great news being that the new shifts were all mornings, meaning three out of the five would be in daylight all through the year. I was to start in a week's time.

Edward will be so happy.

Emmett wasn't done.

"I remember you saying you didn't know anything about computers. There's a beginner's course starting soon at the Learning Annexe down the street. If you'd be interested, I could sign you up. The company will pay as part of your development. It fits with your shifts, one afternoon a week. How about it?"

I stammered and stuttered before finding my tongue.

"That'd be so good! Can I really learn about the internet and stuff? Wow!"

He chuckled, the sound deep and reassuring.

"Yup – the internet and stuff is all waiting for you! I'll let you know when the first session is. I'm proud of you, Jasper. You work hard and it doesn't go unnoticed. Now get yourself off home. We'll see you tomorrow."

All the way home I had a smile that wouldn't quit.

~o.O.o~

Between us, we worked out that my extra shifts meant that I could now cover the rent entirely with a little left to spare, leaving Edward's earnings for food and essentials. Although we didn't fully understand things like Federal Taxes, we were able to see the difference an extra ten hours per week were going to make.

It meant that we wouldn't need to panic if Edward didn't make any tips at the market, or when Happy Tails didn't need him for a shift during the holidays.

It meant that with the ongoing help of the community kitchen there'd be no more skipping meals and filling up on water. We'd still be able to eat fresh food even on bad days. I would make Edward take a little money with him each day in case he lost his lunch again.

It meant more trips to the cosy laundromat and less wet clothes hanging around for days, refusing to dry without the heater and adding to the damp, frigid air in our cheerless little room.

It meant less worry, which could only be a good thing.

Edward was so proud of me when I told him that I thought he'd burst. He made us a feast from our canned goods with fresh potato and veggies and together we ate, sharing smiles. For dessert, we had a sweet confection I'd gotten at work. There'd been a birthday and Emmett had ordered in a box of fancy frosted cupcakes. The bag was a little squashed from the trip in my pocket, but the contents were still delicious and we scraped the frosting from the paper with our fingers, feeding it to each other.

Things got rather heated and for once we ignored the dishes and went straight to bed to celebrate some more.

~o.O.o~

The weather worsened. February was making its presence felt with cantankerous winds that cut straight through the body rather than going around.

Work was going well, the new shifts filling my days and sparing me endless empty, barren hours at home without Edward.

My first computer lesson was both terrifying and exhilarating. Most of the class were older than me, seniors looking to connect with their grandchildren living far away, whereas I was learning how to type, write letters, create basic spreadsheets for our finances, and surf the net. The internet was by far my favourite part, discovering the enormity of the online world and its potential to make our lives better.

I soon learned it also brought disillusionment.

Becoming more confident with using a keyboard, I found myself using the free time at the end of each session to search through apartment rental sites. I hoped to find us a nicer place to rent, or at least potential places to investigate. The prices shocked me. We had naively believed we earned enough to rent somewhere with a couple of rooms and a bathroom, but the reality was we were already in the only place we could afford: a damp, draughty, unheated single room.

Trapped like rats in a storm drain.

At least it had a roof and a lock on the door.

Small mercies.

~o.O.o~

It was hard to sleep with the wind howling, rain slamming into the window like the hands of crazed fans beating on a decoy limo.

Edward was deeply asleep, barely visible with his beanie down over his ears, blankets pulled up to his nose. I was glad he was getting some rest – he'd worked damn hard that week. Tomorrow was Sunday, meaning we both had the day at home. Any sleep lost could be recouped when the wind died down.

The weather raged on and I admitted defeat. I slid out of bed, careful not to wake Edward, and poured a glass of water. The draught from under the door cut me off at the ankles, and I tried to imagine rugs under my socked feet, thick carpets that enveloped my toes and cradled them in warmth. Shivering, I pulled my blanket tighter around my shoulders. Swallowing the last of my water, I made a necessary trip to the bathroom and then back to the only source of heat in the room.

Crawling back under the covers, I heard Edward mumble in his sleep, his body gravitating towards mine. I welcomed his body heat and sank into the embrace to try and find the sleep that eluded me.

The wind direction had changed. Twigs battered the window, the nightmarish sound of claws tapping in the darkness to come in. I couldn't see anything, but I could imagine them flailing in the gale, unfettered by gravity.

The roar of the wind increased and my body curled tight, my head almost under the covers to muffle the incessant sound.

Then the world all went to hell.

There was an ear splitting crash and the wind howled through the smashed window. I could hear the creaky flailing of a broken branch trapped partway through the splintered wooden frame. Rain blasted in, soaking the covers while I shrank beneath them.

Edward woke with a start, believing us to be under attack. Bolt upright and in the grip of a waking nightmare, he tried to escape, getting tangled in the bedcovers in his panic. It all happened so fast. Helpless, I watched him overbalance, his feet caught. Reaching for him, I saw him try to save himself too late, falling back, his head hitting the bed frame with a dull crack before I could do anything to stop it.

He tumbled off the bed onto the hard floor.

He was too still.

My lungs were frozen, adrenalin screaming through my oxygen-starved body.

Then I broke free, gasping for air, scrambling down to the floor by his side in a second. I needed him to look at me, to give me some sign he was okay.

Nothing.

Gripping, wrenching terror clawed at my heart, my mind numb with shock.

And then.

"Edward! Talk to me! Edward, please… please… come on!"

My hand found his hair, wet in the darkness, cradling his head in my lap while my mind unfroze and began to panic in earnest. Trying to corral my fear into a quiet corner of my terrified brain, I lay Edward's head down on a towel, wiped the blood off my hands and reached for the phone, tears scalding my cheeks.

~o.O.o~

Ten minutes felt like five hours until there was a welcome knock at the door.

"It's open!"

By the dim light of our one lightbulb, I saw Esme hurry over to where we were huddled on the floor. To my surprise and immense relief, she was not alone. Dr Cullen closed the door and hastened to where Edward lay, his head in my lap. He hadn't awoken. The room was so very cold, the bitter wind and rain blowing in, that I had pulled the covers from the bed and covered us both on the floor, having shaken off the worst of the glass shards.

Dr Cullen knelt and examined him. With Edward still unconscious, he rang for an ambulance, insistent he be checked out properly as a precaution. He explained to me that scalp injuries bled a lot and looked worse than they often were, but that stitches might well be needed.

While we waited for them to arrive, Dr Cullen ran to his car and brought in a tarp and tools. Marshalling me into action while Esme sat with Edward, he wasted no time in nailing the tarp to the window frame, holding back the worst of the weather. Once it was in place, Esme suggested I move everything away from the window and pack up all of mine and Edward's clothes and essentials into a bag. After moving the bed across the room with Dr Cullen's help, the loud scraping almost obscured by the sound of the storm, I reached beneath the mattress and gathered the money stored there, zipping it into my coat pockets. Everything else I put up on the far end of the shelf to keep dry and just hoped it was all there when we came back.

Esme watched me, her fear for Edward plain to see.

"I'm not leaving you here. You boys are coming to stay with me until this place is all fixed up. We can ring your landlord in the morning, sweetheart. We'll get this sorted out, don't you worry."

It was an offer I couldn't refuse. I'd sleep in a ditch if it meant he was safe.

All I could see was my whole world lying motionless on the floor.

~o.O.o~

Edward regained consciousness before the ambulance arrived. Although groggy, he knew his name, what day it was, and who was President. Dr Cullen still wanted him to go to the hospital, and when Edward refused, I reminded him how he felt when it was me with the injury. Dizzy with pain, he agreed, allowing himself to be helped into the ambulance that was to take him and Dr Cullen to the hospital. Esme wasted no time in grabbing the car keys and the two of us followed them to the ER in the doctor's car.

Once again I felt the fear grip me when I was surrounded by the noise, the bright lights, and the pandemonium every time an ambulance crew wheeled in a new patient. Only this time it was my boy surrounded by doctors, leaving me in the waiting area to stew and panic. Esme grasped my wrists.

"He's in good hands, Jasper. Carlisle will be with him the whole time. He's a good man."

I looked at her caring face and saw the trust she held in Dr Cullen. If she believed in him then so would I. After all, he'd never let Edward or me down before, not that she knew about that.

An hour crawled by, people screaming and crying all around me. Esme kept hold of me, keeping me from running through the building to find him, to be with him.

He'll be okay. He'll be okay.

I stared at our clasped hands, mine within Esme's. I gave a watery snuffle.

"We're getting married. Did he tell you that? We don't know when it'll be, or even if it'll still be possible by the time we can afford it, but we are. Getting married. We really are. Somehow."

I felt my eyes burn, my words starting to wobble.

"He's so much stronger than me. So much braver. I love him so much. I just wanted to protect him and I failed. He got hurt because I couldn't find us a better place to live, somewhere safe…"

Then the tears took hold and I sobbed, feeling Esme's arms pull me in, holding me tight, keeping me safe while my fragile world bobbed like a cork in a hurricane, unable to find safe ground.

"Stop that talk right now. You didn't do this. You couldn't have prevented it. The window breaking was bad luck and we'll get it fixed. Edward's in the best place and he's awake so that's half the battle won straight away. He won't blame you, you know that. He loves you, you silly goose."

I was so tired now that the adrenalin had burned itself out. Esme was still hugging me when Dr Cullen reappeared, a tired smile on his handsome face. Esme nudged me and I sat up.

"He's okay, Jasper. No serious damage done. I don't need to tell you that he's been very lucky. He's got stitches and a monster of a headache, but he's going to be just fine."

In that moment I wanted to fling myself at him in gratitude.

"Thank you, Doctor. Thank you a thousand times over for coming tonight. Both of you." I squeezed Esme's hand. "Can we see him now?" I saw Esme smile at the 'we'.

My boy looked pale and tired, dark circles under his eyes and drying blood in his hair despite the nurses' attentions. Dr Cullen showed me the stitches and explained how to bathe them until they needed to come out.

Esme promised to bring him back to the hospital straight away if his pain worsened or he passed out again before heading off to fill the prescription for painkillers at the pharmacy. Edward and I were still dazed, ripped from sleep into a world of chaos and pain. We stood holding each other up in the cubicle, both swaying a little, wondering how it was possible for our tiny world to shrink even further.

All I could think about was how long until the window was repaired? Would our furniture be okay? The mattress was old, but a new one was unthinkable, the funds simply not there. How long before it dried out enough for us to return home? Would the landlord acknowledge how much work needed to be done to the place or would he just replace the glass and ignore the rest? If it flooded, would it even be habitable afterwards, with the damp that was already there?

That room had been my home for two years, and Edward's for half that. This was all we had. Losing it was a huge step backwards, and finding another place that was both affordable and would take two young men as tenants was going to be very hard. Certainly, the landlord might well throw us out when he heard that there had been two of us living there under his nose – especially two men. He'd certainly increase the rent, and likely offer no improvement to our living conditions.

Esme planned to call Tanya and let her know that Edward couldn't come to work for a couple of days at least. I could notify the market and perhaps cover his shift for him to ensure he didn't lose his regular work there.

We climbed into the back of Dr Cullen's car and I held Edward to me for the ride to the sanctuary that was Esme's house.

It was as I remembered. Rosie met us at the door, Esme leading her away lest her happy, bouncy greeting knocked Edward over in his disoriented state. He protested, and so while Esme made up the spare room, she let Rosie in to see us and say hello while Edward rested on the sofa. Rosie whined when he didn't get up to hug her, seeming to sense something wasn't right, and before I knew what was happening she jumped onto the sofa to lay with him, her tail thumping when he stroked her side with a whispered hello.

Esme came in to see what was going on. She stopped in the doorway, glancing at me.

"I'd scold her, but she loves him and can tell something's wrong."

Rosie was whimpering, looking at Edward. Esme tilted her head.

"I think she's telling him she's worried."

The corner of my mouth quirked.

"She's not alone there."

She and I exchanged tired smiles before she turned away to finish making up our room. Carlisle appeared from the kitchen with a bowl of water and a washcloth and cleaned the blood from Edward's stitches and his hair. He then handed him some pills to take, fetching him a glass of water. Esme appeared when he was done.

"All ready for you. Oh, and don't worry about getting blood on the pillow. I've put some old covers on there. Just get some rest, the pair of you. Sleep as long as you need. I'll call Tanya in the morning."

So tired now, I stumbled forward and hugged her, feeling her press a kiss to my temple.

"Thank you." The words weren't enough. I turned. "And thank you so much, Doctor. I was so scared back there."

He smiled. "You're welcome, Jasper. Now get some sleep, both of you. Doctor's orders."

I helped Edward to his feet, leaving behind a concerned Rosie, and together we staggered to our warm room. I helped him undress before I shrugged out of my own clothes and sank down onto the comfy mattress, beneath the fluffy duvet.

After our traumatic night, sleep was swift to claim us.

~o.O.o~