A/N:
Great big hello to the new followers!
And an equally huge one to those who have stuck with me this far. Our favourite couple will get their happy ending but not in this chapter...
Filler chapter 1/2. Sorry!
Anna stared at the nondescript wooden door of Elsa's office, fidgeting with her hands as she contemplated on running away. She had already procrastinate for a day, unable to work up the courage to face the blonde and fixated on the excuse that they both needed some space to think.
"No. I have to apologise."
Squaring her shoulders in resolve, she raised a clenched fist and rapped on the door. The silence that ensured gnawed at her nerves, each passing second causing her to lose more of what little courage she had mustered up.
Anna tried again, knocking out a rhythm and waited, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot. Another minute passed and there was still no response; no voice beckoning her to enter, no indication whatsoever that her presence had been acknowledged. Turning the handle, Anna pushed the door opened tentatively; taking some comfort that it was at least unlocked.
"Elsa?" She called out, eyes scanning the room; half expecting to see the blonde peering up at her from behind an unfurled parchment.
The emptiness greeted her with its silence.
The seat behind the desk was empty, the desk before it devoid of the usual assortment of parchments and writing materials. Anna stepped further into the office, letting the door swing silently shut behind her. Spotting the closed door of an adjoining room that was Elsa's private bedchambers, Anna crossed towards it, wrenching the door open and sticking her head through the opening.
A wave of disappointment flooded through her as her eyes fell on the neatly made narrow bed by the corner, the sheets meticulously smoothed out. As Anna retreated from the room, she noticed Elsa's sheathed sword sitting on its holder on a wooden dresser.
"Where are you, Elsa…" Anna murmured in worry. Elsa always had her sword with her; more so to indicate her status than for actual protection. To see it left behind with the blonde nowhere in sight only caused the redhead's gut to clench with dread.
Anna quickly left the blonde's quarters. She was hardly claustrophobic but being in Elsa's quarters with the blonde's distinctive scent of a fresh snow fall was too much to bear at the moment, even more so when said blonde wasn't physically present.
There was stillness in the room that was so thick that Anna figured the blonde hadn't returned recently.
As Anna hurried down the stairs, her mind frantically thought of all the likely places where Elsa might be. Her frustration growing as she realised just how little she knew about the blonde's habits. She knew next to nothing about Elsa.
The guilt intensified as she dashed out through the Keep's doors, unshed tears stinging her eyes.
"I am so sorry, Elsa."
xxx
"Oh, did I miss something, Sven?"
The reindeer made a disgruntled face and Kristoff promptly translated in a gruff voice. "Yes, you forgot my snack."
The blond feigned surprise. "Oh no, I didn't. How could I forget!" Brandishing a carrot from his back pocket, he took a bite of the vegetable before holding it out to the eager reindeer. "Here you go, buddy!"
As the reindeer indulged in his treat, Kristoff pushed his arms upwards in a much needed back stretch. He had spent all morning brushing down the reindeer, diligently combing out the matted fur and giving the beast a much needed shower. Leaning back against the stable stalls, he watched as Sven lapped at a trough of water.
A flash of orange caught both the man and reindeer's attention and they turn as one to watch Anna fly through the Keep's doors, almost stumbling as the redhead jumped down the three stone steps into the courtyard.
"Hey, feisty-pants!" Kristoff called out, causing the princess to jerk her head in his direction.
Immediately changing course, the redhead ran across the courtyard towards them, her sudden movements resulting in Sven backtracking hurriedly.
"Have you seen her?" Anna asked, slightly out of breath, eyes frantic.
Kristoff's eyes narrowed as he took in the princess's red rimmed eyes. "What's wrong? Did someone hurt you?" He asked in concern. "Is it that bastard, Hans? I'll pound him into the ground." The blond gritted his teeth, smacking a clenched fist into his other palm.
Anna blinked in surprise but filed away the man's words for later. Why is it that everyone seems to know something about Hans that she doesn't?
"No, no." She shook her head vehemently, waving away the knight's concern. "Have you seen Elsa?"
"Elsa? She took a few personal days off. Something about needing to leave for a bit." Kristoff tilted his head, studying the redhead intently.
"When did she leave?" Anna pressed.
"Uhhh… around midday yesterday. Is something wrong?"
Anna's heart sank. Midday yesterday. That was right after their conversation in her bedroom. "Way to go, Anna. You've outdone yourself this time. You hurt Elsa so badly that she had to take a few personal days off."
"Did she say where she was going?" Anna swallowed the lump in her throat, fighting the rising panic that Elsa might never return.
Kristoff glanced to Sven, the reindeer rolling its muscular shoulders in what would have come off as a noncommittal shrug in a human. "No. She didn't."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the redhead had broken into a sprint across the courtyard and to the main gate where her horse waited patiently by the bridge that led back to the castle.
"Geez… wonder what's up with her." Kristoff eyed the reindeer and Sven snorted in response.
"Heck, wonder what's up with Elsa too. I've never seen her taking personal days off. That woman's a workaholic."
Sven snorted again and pawed at the ground.
Kristoff sighed and stared up at the top floor of the Keep, his eyes seeking out Elsa's open window. "Yeah, I'm worried about her too."
xxx
Elsa dug her heels deeper into her horse's flanks. The black stallion pulled lightly on the reins in discomfort but otherwise picked up its pace, streaking through the forest in a full gallop. She could occasionally catch glimpses the sparkling waters of the fjord on her right as her steed took her deeper into the forest, following a partially concealed dirt track covered with dead leaves.
Her thighs and calves were numbed from keeping her body poised above the saddle so she would not be jolted around too much during the ride. A trickle of sweat ran down her back, the rush of the wind in her face doing nothing to alleviate the heat from the midday sun.
Spotting a break in the trees on her left that indicated the fork in the path, Elsa steered her steed towards it, tugging back on the reins and prompting the beast to slow down gradually into a trot.
Finding a clearing a few minutes later, Elsa urged her steed to stop, quickly dismounting and leading the beast to a patch of grass to graze. Her white cotton shirt had come untucked, the material cool against her skin as she rested on the thick trunk of a fallen tree. Pulling a water flask from the leather pack that she had removed from the stallion's saddle, she took a large swig of water, her eyes closing in the brief respite brought about by the cool liquid running down her throat.
She had spent most of the night riding aimlessly through the forest, stopping occasionally to allow her horse to rest while she slept fitfully propped up against a tree. Nightmares plagued her rest, visions of herself blasting Anna with her powers repeating endlessly. Except each time the vision ended was different; steadily worsening until the nightmarish visions ended with Anna frozen solid before shattering into a billion shards that ripped through her. That last nightmare had caused the blonde jerk awake with a blood curling scream and a thick layer of frost beneath her seated body. Needless to say, Elsa did not dare close her eyes again for the rest of the night; choosing instead to clamber upon her horse and ride through the darkness.
She shouldn't be too far from her destination now. It was halfway through an unappetising breakfast of some bread and cheese when Elsa finally decided on where she needed to go. She had far too many questions and it was high time she got some answers.
Deciding that she had enough rest for now and rejuvenated for the time being, Elsa pushed herself to her feet, dusting of her riding breeches as she made her way back to her horse. Tucking the reins around the harness, she slapped the stallion on its flank, sending it rearing before dashing off down the path. The stallion was a palace horse and would find its way home. Turning back to face the path snaking between trees, Elsa hefted the leather pack onto her shoulder and continued on foot.
It was a good thirty minutes of navigating her way around fallen trees and large broken branches with sweat rolling down her back before Elsa could see the moss covered valley from between a gap in the trees. With her destination in sight, Elsa jogged the remaining distance, emerging from the tree line and following the dirt path to the centre of the valley whilst dodging steaming geysers.
Valley of the living rock.
Outcrops of the rock face, interrupted by moss covered terraces formed a loose perimeter around the centre of the valley. The lush greenery of the moss contrasted against the greying rock faces while a perpetual fog hung low in the air. Boulders and rocks of varying sizes sat haphazardly around, some covered by moss while others shone beneath the weak sunlight that managed to filter through.
Elsa stood in the centre of it all, taking in the unusual sight. The seconds ticked past and she began to feel like an idiot standing amidst rocks. Was she supposed to say something? Was there a secret code that she should know? This was where the mysterious trolls that inhabited the forest were rumoured to live, right? This was where she was supposedly found, right?
There was a low rumble and the ground beneath her began trembling, the motion causing Elsa to tense, lowering herself slightly to improve her centre of gravity as she held her arms out for better balance. The rocks were shaking from side to side now, almost as if they were attempting to loosen themselves from the compact earth. One by one, they began rolling towards the alarmed blonde.
The rocks formed a circle around the blonde then literally came to life.
Elsa's eyes bulged in surprise even as she fought back the urge to scream in shock. Several pairs of eyes peered earnestly at her, wide grins on their decidedly humanoid features saved for their bulbous noses and large bat like ears.
"Er, hi?" Elsa gave a tentative wave, suddenly self-conscious with so many curious eyes focused on her.
The trolls smiled brighter, collectively taking several steps forward and closing in on the blonde.
"I'm Elsa." Elsa dropped onto one knee, addressing a troll that she decided had relatively feminine features.
"The fallen snowflake…" The trolls erupted into a hushed whisper of awe that spread through the valley, almost causing the blonde to fall over in surprise.
"Fallen snowflake?" Elsa repeated in confusion. "I'm sorry. My name is Elsa Frost. I've come to seek your help."
"We know who you are, Elsa." The troll that she addressed spoke in a comely female voice and Elsa gave herself a mental pat on the back for her astute observation.
"Come. Grand Pabbie will want to see you."
"Whoa!" Elsa yelped in surprise as she was swept off her feet and onto her back with the trolls supporting her weight.
They moved as one, rolling her forward then depositing her onto her feet before a large moss covered boulder with several tuffs of drying grass on one end. The rock rotated, and a wizened troll flipped onto his feet.
"Ahh…the little snowflake all grown up." The troll with a vine of yellow crystals dangling around his chest spoke in a gravelly voice.
"Grand Pabbie?" Elsa asked apprehensively, remembering what the other troll had said.
"Yes, yes. Come along little one. Let me take a good look at you." Pabbie shuffled towards a rock ledge, hopping up effortlessly.
Dropping back onto one knee so she would be at eye level with Pabbie, Elsa waited patiently as he tilted her chin left and right, scrutinising her intently.
"You are troubled." Pabbie spoke after a few minutes. "What is it that you have come here to seek?"
Elsa ignored the many inquisitive eyes boring into her back as she focused on the elder troll before her. "Answers." Her voice wavered and she gulped audibly, steeling her nerves.
"Very well, speak your mind, Elsa. Perhaps we might have an answer for your questions." Pabbie smiled good-naturedly.
"The King showed me a scroll that was apparently found on my person when I was taken into the castle." Elsa began, brows furrowing as she tried to piece together the sentences. "I – I can't exactly read the symbols written into the parchment. But I can understand it in an abstract way?" She trailed off, smiling sheepishly at how absurd her words sounded.
Pabbie only nodded, smiling knowingly and Elsa continued. "I think it speaks of my powers and how it's driven by fear – or…"
The elder troll had raised a hand to cut her off and Elsa faltered. "Not driven by fear." He corrected. "Fear will be your enemy. Tell me, Elsa, what is it that you fear most?" Pabbie patted her hand, his palm rough against her skin.
The image of Anna flashed to the forefront of her mind and Elsa lowered her head, shoulders drooping. "I'm afraid of hurting Anna." She spoke softly.
"Anna…" Pabbie repeated thoughtfully. "Ahh… the Arendelle princess. Was she hurt by your hands recently?"
Elsa's head shot up in a frown. "No. I don't believe so, not physically at least. I had – I had control around her. More than before." She admitted.
"More than this?" Pabbie waved an arm around him and Elsa turned to look.
To her horror, the valley was coated in a thin layer of frost and she had barely noticed that the other trolls were no longer paying attention to her conversation with their elder. Instead, the trolls were sliding around on the ice, their rough feet scraping up frost as they skidded from one end to the other.
Elsa's eyes snapped back to her hands still firmly clutched in Pabbie's large ones, a sprinkle of frost crawling up his forearms. Wrenching out of his grasp, she began apologising profusely.
"I am so sorry, Grand Pabbie."
"No need. I do not believe hurting Anna is your greatest fear. Think harder, Elsa. What is it that you are most afraid of? Conquer it and you will have control once more."
Elsa squeezed her eyes shut, her brows scrunching together and she concentrated on her thoughts.
When had she first gained complete control? When Anna did not flinch away in fear on the ship.
When did she begin losing that control? When Anna got engaged to Hans.
When Anna got engaged.
When she lost Anna.
"Losing Anna." Elsa whispered, gasping in the pain of her realisation.
"There we go." Pabbie said kindly, tilting Elsa's head by the chin so he could peer into her confused eyes. "The solution to your problem is easy."
"But how? I've lost her. She's… chosen another." Elsa swallowed, fighting the bile rising in her throat at the mental image of a laughing Anna with Hans.
"Has she? Or did you push her to another?" Pabbie leaned forward, staring unblinkingly into Elsa's eyes. "I see conflict. Hurt. Lots of hurt on both parties." He paused, a curious glint appearing in his eyes. "I see she has regained her original memories. Your powers have negated mine somehow." Pabbie chuckled. "I should have seen that coming."
"Wait, you suppressed Anna's memories?" Elsa pulled away.
"Well, yes. You were present, if I recall."
"I was?" Elsa glanced around her, puzzled. "I don't remember…"
"Of course you wouldn't. I made sure of that. You weren't meant to find this place on your own. Not until you were ready."
"Ready for what?" Utter confusion stretched across her features and her mind struggled to keep up. So much had happened in the span of a few minutes and she found herself with quite a lot on her mind. There would be many sleepless nights ahead as she tried to sort through her thoughts and emotions. Then there were still the nightmares and Elsa shuddered at the thought.
"To know the truth behind your birth of course!"
Elsa's pulse quickened and she sucked in a breath. The temperature around her dropped several degrees as her heart thundered in her chest. Anxiety and curiosity gripped her; she wanted to hear what else Pabbie had to say, yet she was afraid the truth might break her. He had said she was ready, but was she really?
"You are ready, child. If you weren't, you would never have found this place in your search for answers."
Elsa nodded wordlessly, waiting for the elder troll to continue.
Waving a thick, grey arm, Pabbie conjured up a trail of sparkling blue in the air. The cloud of magic coalesced then dissolved into a vision of the very same valley they were standing in, except the trolls had transformed back into immobile rocks that mostly sat unmoving on the terraces.
The image shifted; focusing in on a single snowflake as it fell from the sky, the ice crystal perfectly symmetrical, an occurrence that do not happen naturally. Elsa stared at it in wonder, feeling tightness in her chest that she recognised as a connection; as if the snowflake was a part of her, not physically but a fragment of her very being.
"The first snowflake marking the start of the winter solstice." Pabbie announced.
There was a collective sigh of awe and Elsa glanced down to see the trolls had gathered to watch. She also noted with relief that the ice she had unintentionally created had melted away with the revelation of her feelings that she had accepted for the time being anyhow.
"That snowflake is you." Pabbie continued.
"Wait, what?" Elsa squeaked, tearing her eyes away from the beautiful crystal that had begun spinning on its axis as it tumbled from the sky.
"Not you literally." Pabbie laughed, a deep throaty rumble. "But your essence. The embodiment of your powers."
The snowflake landed on a boulder in the centre of the valley that Elsa instantly recognised as Grand Pabbie in his transformed state. Holding her tongue, she waited for the elder troll to explain.
"My kind was hunted and persecuted for our gifts of magic then. But the King offered to shield us from further harm, for a price of course. Shelter in exchange for the protection of one. They wanted a child of their own; but the world was a harsh place then, rife with violence. The King and Queen wanted their future child to be protected from that bloodshed."
Elsa listened attentively, still uncertain as to how anything Pabbie had revealed would concern her.
"Ancient magic is complex and has a mind of its own. Or perhaps the Gods have a sense of humour. I'd meant to bless the royal family that night; instead, you came to be. Born of magic, born with magic." Pabbie wave his arm again and the vision changed into one of him carrying an infant with fine platinum hair and faint freckles across its pale cheeks.
"Is that me?" Elsa asked incredulously as she watched the child nuzzled deeper into the troll's arms then opened its eyes to peer up through clear blue orbs that seemingly glowed. It was strange, watching herself through another's memories. "Am I even human?" Elsa asked in a hushed whisper.
Pabbie chortled. "You are that and so much more."
A thought nagged at the back of Elsa's mind, reminding her of something the troll elder had mentioned. "You said the King and Queen wanted protection for their child. That child is Anna?"
Pabbie blinked slowly in acknowledgement.
"My entire existence is for the sole purpose of protecting Anna?" Elsa clarified, her brows furrowing in seriousness as she tried to comprehend the situation.
"Alas, there is much more than that. But that time has yet to come."
Elsa exhaled heavily; she was tired of ambiguous answers that raised more questions. The trolls may have thousands of years to ponder but Elsa was very much mortal and time is definitely not on her side.
"Fret not, young one. In time everything will make sense. Take this." With a twirl of his fingers, a tightly wound scroll appeared in his hands and he held it out to Elsa.
"What is it?" Elsa made to break the wax seal only to have Pabbie's hand land atop hers, stopping her movements.
"Open it when the night is at its bleakest, when uncertainty shrouds the rise of the morning sun and only when there is no other alternative. Until then, keep it safe. And one more thing; it takes two with the heart of one." Pabbie released the blonde's hands and stepped back, with a final smile of encouragement, he transformed back into a boulder. Taking Pabbie's cue, the trolls that had gathered around them reverted into their motionless state.
Elsa rose to her feet, tucking the scroll safely into her leather pack. She understood that the conversation was over and she was essentially being dismissed. Slinging her pack over her shoulder, she trudged back towards the forest; Pabbie's words weighing down her steps.
Even though she had gained some insight, Elsa was more confused than ever. Taking a final glance back at the valley, her eyes roved over the stationary rocks blanketed by a hazy fog and she could not help wondering if she had simply been talking to herself all along.
A/N:
Sorry about the lack of well... anything in this chapter...
Chapter 13 will be up in a few hours. I promise there will be some good-ish bits. Hang tight.