A/N:
As promised. =)
Two weeks, three days, twenty one hours and seventeen minutes since Elsa had left. Wait, make that eighteen minutes.
Anna's eyes stared at the clock on the desk, willing it to tick faster. Her new Lieutenant Marshal jacket, black with gold epaulettes and a single bronze aiguillette was stifling and she had to resist the urge to undo the top two buttons of the high-neck collar. How her Father and Elsa stayed in these suffocating uniforms all day she would never understand. The thought of Elsa caused her heart to sink and Anna glanced at the clock again, noting only another minute had passed.
With Elsa's hasty departure on what was beginning to seem like indefinite personal leave, Anna's appointment to her new position as ranking officer had been pushed forward. Someone needed to take over the blonde's duties and what better time for the new Lieutenant Marshal to step up?
Although Anna had been assigned her new office and adjoining quarters on the same floor, she decided to spend her time in Elsa's office instead. It just made more sense to not reinvent the wheel and work from here. After all, everything she would need to carry out her duties can be found here. It was only practical and far more convenient than walking back and forth from one office to the next whenever she needed a particular document.
At least that was what she told anyone who cared to ask, not that many did; the men knew better than to question their temporary commanding officer. In short, it was really just an excuse for her to spend her days surrounded by all things Elsa. She even spent her nights curled up in Elsa's bunk, clutching the blonde's pillow and sobbing, but if anyone asked, she will vehemently deny it.
"Do you think Elsa will be back soon?" Anna asked the palm sized ice griffin pacing across her desk; well, Elsa's desk.
The beast turned at the sound of her voice, regarding her with a tilt of his head.
"I miss her. Don't you miss her too, Gale?"
Yes, Anna had been so devoid of human interaction that she had resorted to holding one-sided conversations with the ice griffin, even naming him. Housed high up in the Keep and buried under piles of paperwork, Anna had already begun drawing comparisons with her protected lifestyle in the castle. Except it was a whole lot more isolated here. Is this how Elsa spent her days? Being so close to people yet more isolated than ever due to her rank? At least Anna had the castle staff to interact with and her parents whenever they were not busy with running the kingdom.
With a sigh, Anna turned back to the pile of scrolls stacked neatly atop one another to form a pyramid. Starting with the topmost, she broke the seal and skimmed through its contents. Another report from the scouts on the border separating Arendelle and the Southern Isles summarising the decline in hostile forces patrolling the area, no doubt due to news of her engagement to Hans.
Anna groaned, tossing the scroll onto a pile of others that she had read through. Hans, the engagement, what was she going to do? It had seemed like a great idea then and she admit she was taken with the whole prince charming and fairy tale ending that she had read about in books. Besides, Anna had always known she was expected to produce an heir to carry on the royal bloodline. If she had a brother, that responsibility would not have befallen her, but she was an only child and as much as her wonderful parents refrained from broaching the subject, that did not mean they were not concerned. At the very least, Hans was around her age, good looking and certainly carried himself well as a prince. Definitely beats any of the old farts with one foot in the grave. Their union would be expected to produce an heir and in time, Anna would get over her inappropriate attraction to Elsa. Hopefully.
At least that was the initial plan.
Sighing again, Anna picked up another scroll, barely taking in the words as she read. This one was from Oaken, detailing the repairs required for his ship and a request for funding. Anna remembered reading about the reminder in one of Elsa's meticulous to-do list and promptly approved the request. Her mind wandered as she worked through the stack of scrolls, methodically signing when required or placing them aside for Elsa to peruse whenever she decide to return.
Hans had sent her a couple of letters every few days, most of which she had skimmed through and responded politely. The content of his messages eventually turned to the lewd side, the words would have caused any other woman to blush at the attention but not with Anna especially in her distracted state. If anything, they filled her with revulsion and she quickly tossed them aside as if burnt.
"Where are you, Elsa… I need you…"
With her thoughts drifting back to Elsa again as they always did, Anna decided she may as well call it a night. It wasn't as if she would be able to get any more work done considering the late hour and she had a long day ahead tomorrow filled with the selection process for competitors representing Arendelle during the tourney, the very tourney that she had suggested and will be held in celebration of her engagement. Really, she had no one else to blame for her predicament; she brought it upon herself.
Blowing out the sole candle illuminating the room on her desk, she made her way through the darkened room with the aid of the pale moonlight streaming in unchecked through the windows. A shadow shifted in her peripheral vision and Anna snapped her head around, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.
The room was still, everything in its place. Scoffing at herself, Anna continued on her way; her eyes fixated on the door leading into Elsa's private quarters. She would rather not have to find her way through the dark Keep to her new room. Who knew which deceased officer lurked in there; destined to haunt its successor.
The door to the office swung open behind her, letting in a gust of chilly air and Anna spun around, a piercing shriek erupting from her parted lips as a figure stepped across the threshold.
xxx
Elsa winced, the shrillness of Anna's scream hurting her ears and it didn't look like the redhead intended to stop. Closing the distance in a few long strides, Elsa clapped her palm over Anna's opened mouth, muffling the sound and immediately bringing some relief to her hearing. Miraculously, none of the guards came rushing up the stairs and Elsa made a mental note to check who was on duty tonight. Clearly they needed a little reminder to be a whole lot more vigilant while on patrol.
"Sshh! Anna, its me." Elsa shushed the wide-eyed woman with an apparently very healthy set of lungs. The panic in Anna's eyes seemed to fade into recognition and Elsa cautiously lifted her palm away, ready to clamp it down should the redhead decided to let loose another bloodcurdling scream. Thankfully, Anna seemed to have gone into a state of momentarily stunned silence instead.
"I – you…W – what are you doing here?!" Anna sputtered.
"I could ask the same of you. This is my office is it not?" Elsa quirked a quizzical eyebrow, finally noticing the redhead's new uniform. "I see you have been appointed. Congratulations."
"Elsa?" Anna asked tentatively, still unable to believe that Elsa was standing right before her.
Was this another one of her very realistic hallucinations? The blonde looked real, dishevelled and haggard perhaps with dark circles under her eyes, but definitely real. Anna's eyes trailed down Elsa's slender frame, smaller and slimmer than she had remembered or perhaps it was the bulk of the officer's jacket. Elsa's white cotton shirt was crumpled, even torn in several places, her boots were scuffed with dirt caking around the soles and her dark riding beeches in no better state with smudges of mud against the fabric. Despite her grubby attire, Elsa's hair still shone unnaturally in the moonlight.
"You are real." Anna whispered and threw her arms around the startled blond, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. "You are back. You are really here. I'm so sorry. I've missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again…" Anna murmured in between stifled sobs, her face pressed into Elsa's neck, uncaring about getting dirt on her own uniform.
Elsa awkwardly wrapped her arms around Anna's waist, patting the younger woman reassuringly on the back. The memory of their last conversation was still fresh in her mind and Elsa wasn't sure how she should behave. Anna finally pulled back several minutes later, wiping away the tears in her eyes as she sniffled.
"Sorry. I ruined your shirt even more." She smiled sheepishly, her eyes dropping to the wet stain on the fabric covering Elsa's shoulder. Her eyes dropped further and fell upon a large patch of dried blood on the blonde's right side that she had missed before.
Gasping, she pried herself from Elsa's arms, regretting the dissipating warmth but there were more important things on her mind. "You are hurt!" Anna reached towards the hem of Elsa's shirt in concern, intending on having a look at the wound.
"I'm fine." Elsa stepped back, pushing away the redhead's hands.
The wound definitely needed tending to, but Elsa wasn't prepared for Anna touching her bare skin. The past two weeks had given Elsa ample time to think but it clearly wasn't enough for her to figure out whatever her feelings for Anna were. She was fiercely protective of the woman, but whether that had stemmed from the way the Gods destined her to be or from something else altogether, Elsa still had absolutely no idea.
"Stop being stubborn. You are hurt. It's late and unless you want to make a big deal of things by heading to the infirmary, I suggest you let me help." Anna caught Elsa's wrist, dragging the blonde into her private chambers. "Sit." She ordered, pointing sternly at the bed and Elsa meekly obeyed.
So much for keeping away from Anna.
"Anna, I'll be fine. Really. You don't have to do this." Elsa pleaded. "It's not serious at all. I can handle it on my own." She watched as the redhead pulled open drawers.
"Just tell me where the bandages are." Anna glared. Why was Elsa being so difficult anyway? She was just trying to help. It was the least she could do or maybe she was just feeling guilty about how their last conversation had ended.
"Probably easier if I get it." Elsa pushed off from the mattress, grimacing as flakes of dried dirt left an imprint on the white covers.
"Elsa. Sit." Anna's voice was low, carrying a hint of warning behind her words. Like a disobedient dog reprimanded by its owner, Elsa plopped back onto the mattress. Nodding in satisfaction, Anna raised a questioning eyebrow. "First aid supplies. Where are they?"
"Wardrobe. Bottom compartment. In a box." Elsa responded dully.
Smiling in triumph, Anna moved to the wide wooden wardrobe on the other side of the room, quickly returning with a wooden crate of medical supplies that she placed onto the bedside table.
"Can I at least take a quick shower first? I'm covered in mud and I'm not so keen on an infection."
Anna pursed her lips, mildly irritated at the validity of the request despite getting the feeling that Elsa just wanted an excuse to leave the room. "Fine. Don't take too long." She acceded.
Elsa literally ran to the attached bathroom and locking the door behind her.
This was going to be harder than she thought. Anna sighed as the sound of a tap running filtered through from the bathroom. Lighting several candles on the dresser, she returned to the wardrobe, rummaging through neatly organised piles of clothing before finally pulling out clean bed sheets. Yanking off the soiled covers and dumping them in a pile by the foot of the bed, she began putting on fresh linen; desperate to keep her mind busy and off the metaphorical elephant in the room.
xxx
Elsa sat in the bathtub, methodically sponging herself, letting rivulets of warm water run down her battered and bruised body. She would have preferred a hot bath and let the water soothe her aching muscles but that would probably have been a really bad idea. Prodding at the wounds in her side; five long slashes equally spaced, she hissed when soapy water seeped into the deep gashes.
Damn wolves.
She should have known better than to trek through the woods surrounding the North Mountain in the middle of the night. Or paid a little more attention to her surroundings. At least she had managed to mostly dodge the second swipe across her back, sustaining a superficial wound that had already began to scab. She doubted she would have made it back alive with additional blood loss.
From the awkward angle, Elsa could already see it was beginning to fester, the torn skin around the edges red and throbbing. The deeper areas of the gashes were still bleeding, pinpricks of blood growing into sizable droplets that trickled along the indentation the wound left in her skin.
Anna was going to have quite a lot on her hands.
Elsa sighed, pulling her hair out of its braid and dunking a bucket of warm water on her head. Her wounds stung but Elsa barely noticed the pain shooting up her side, her mind distracted.
"Anna. What am I going to do?"
On one hand, she really needed help with tending to the wound. On the other, she wasn't sure about having Anna's hands on her bare skin. The thought was enough to make her blush and send her heart pounding erratically. These new feelings stirring within her only served to heighten her senses and emotions around Anna; so much so that she had begun overanalysing every single gesture and word spoken. Everything made sense and didn't at the same time. Elsa knew she love Anna, that much was certain. But what constitutes that love?
Pabbie's words immediately came to her mind, "It takes two with the heart of one." What was that even supposed to mean? Two persons in love? Assuming that she was one of two, who was the other? Anna? No, that can't be, though Pabbie did mentioned that she had pushed Anna into the arms of another.
"Gah!" Elsa huffed out in frustration, combing her wet hair with her fingers. "Magical trolls, my arse. Might as well call yourselves love experts." She muttered angrily as she rinsed herself off.
xxx
Anna's head jerked up at the sound of the bathroom lock clicking; she had dozed off as she waited on the bunk, her back leaning against the wall and her knees drawn up to her chest. Shaking her head to clear the sleepy haze over her brain, she watched as Elsa emerged from the bathroom.
Elsa looked… different. A good sort of different obviously. Her hair hung down her back in wet locks, the moisture causing the platinum blonde strands to take on a darker hue. The thin sheer material of a loose fitting nightshirt and matching pants clung to her svelte frame and took all of Anna's willpower not to openly gawk. Elsa's lips were moving as she spoke but Anna could barely focus on the words.
"Anna? Anna!" Elsa snapped her fingers before the redhead's face.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Anna asked in a dazed.
"I said I need some help." Elsa repeated, gesturing to the box of bandages on the bedside table.
"Ohh. Right." Anna scooted to the edge of the bed, making space for the blonde.
As Anna started laying out the essentials, Elsa settled on her left side, propping herself up with a pillow. She could feel the tender skin protesting as she shifted, the wound throbbing with vigour. Her body instinctively tensing as the mattress moved behind her as Anna approached.
"I'm just going to lift your shirt a little." Anna announced as she reached for the hem, pulling it back and unconsciously sucking in a breath as the wound was revealed.
Bad could not even begin to describe it. Most of the dried blood had been cleared from the lacerations which now oozed a clear, yellowish fluid. Anna could only imagine just how much pain the blonde must have been in. Pouring some iodine on a thick wad of gauze, she gingerly pressed it against the gashes.
"Sorry, sorry!" Anna grimaced as Elsa hissed in pain and she hastened her movements; unwilling to prolong the blonde's suffering.
"There. The painful part is over." Anna patted Elsa's should in reassurance as she disposed of another wad of blood and iodine stained gauze.
Half a jar of strong smelling ointment and a cushioning layer of gauze later, Anna began the arduous winding bandages. Anna's face flushed a beet-red each time her forearms unintentionally grazed below Elsa's breast and she fought hard to keep her mind blank, resolutely snuffing out thoughts of how soft and supple the blonde's skin felt beneath her hands. With the gaping wounds tended to, Anna's mind no longer had its distraction and it was all she could do not to trail her fingers down Elsa's midsection and –. "Stop it, Anna! Clean thoughts!"
Anna fingers trembled as she secured the bandages after adequately covering the wound. Tugging down Elsa's nightshirt, Anna hesitated a fraction of a second before wrapping her arms around the blonde's shoulders, eliciting a small gasp of surprise.
"A – Anna?" Elsa called out tentatively as she was pulled into an embrace with Anna pressed snugly against her back.
"What happened… wherever you were?" Anna asked, her voice muffled against Elsa's shoulder.
"I – I…" Elsa contemplated lying. "Wolves. Caught me off guard." She finally explained.
"Caught you off guard?" Anna repeated, incredulous. "Well, that's a first."
Elsa shrugged. "I was distracted."
They fell into a comfortable silence with Anna still embracing the older woman from behind.
"I'm sorry." Anna spoke first, her voice soft. "I was angry… at myself and I took out that anger on you. I shouldn't have said what I said and I am really sorry for hurting you." She felt Elsa nodding in acceptance of her apology and she continued. "I am so confused, Elsa… I thought if I ignored these…feelings, they would go away. I thought I was making the right choice for everyone. But I was so wrong. What am I going to do?"
Elsa pursed her lips, her heart wrenching at the sadness in Anna's voice. "You should do what's right for you, Anna. What everyone thinks is the least of your worries. You are the one who has to live with your decisions. Make them for yourself. Not for others and definitely not me."
"Your opinion matters to me."
"It shouldn't. You don't need my approval. If you feel marrying Hans is the right choice. Then I will support your decision. Your happiness is all that matters to me."
"If that's the case, then I'll take your advice." Anna tilted Elsa's chin to face her, her eyes burning with determination.
Elsa inhaled sharply at the proximity. This close, she could see the tinge of green in Anna's clear azure eyes or even count the freckles on rosy cheeks if she was so inclined to.
"Anna?" Elsa asked hesitantly, her eyes searching the redhead's for a sign.
Anna inched closer in response, steadily closing the distance between their faces. She could feel Elsa's breath ghosting against her lips, cerulean eyes wide with unmistakable anticipation that gave her the courage that she needed. In a way, Elsa wanted it too. Elsa wanted her. And that was enough for Anna.
She gingerly pressed her lips against Elsa's, a contented sigh rising in her throat at the contact. Her heart felt like it was about to burst from the joy that surge through her being, every nerve ending in her body tingling from the fire ignited by the simple act of intimacy.
Elsa pulled away far too soon for her liking and Anna's shoulders sagged in disappointment.
"We shouldn't." Elsa averted her eyes. "We can't do this, Anna."
"Why not? You just told me to decide what's best for me." Anna frowned in confusion.
"That's not what I meant." Elsa squeezed her eyes shut, taking deep calming breaths.
"You're being a hypocrite. You are what's best for me. You always have and always will be. I love you, Elsa. I am completely and utterly in love with you. I should have said it from the very start instead of projecting my feelings for you on to Hans. I'm trying to fix this mess that I created by starting with you, Elsa." Anna stroked Elsa's cheek with her thumb, trying to cajole the older woman to meet her eyes.
"You are engaged, Anna." Elsa reminded tiredly, pulling away from the redhead's touch and leaning back against the wall.
"To hell with the engagement. Surely it can be called off." Anna scoffed.
"It's not that easy. The diplomacy between Arendelle and the Southern Isles are tied to your engagement."
"There must be another way to placate them."
"Yes. War." Elsa turned to regard the younger woman through hard eyes. "They will stop at nothing to conquer Arendelle."
"How would that be any different? The marriage would seal Arendelle's fate anyway. It's just a matter of time before Arendelle falls under the Southern rule. Why are you giving me that look?" Anna asked brusquely.
Elsa stared intently at Anna, as if seeing the woman for the first time. There was something different about the redhead, a newfound grim awareness of the harsh world they were living in.
"I spent the last two weeks handling the military affairs in your absence." She began by way of explanation. "And I've learnt the enormity of my foolish actions. Or maybe I've just learnt to be paranoid about everything and everyone."
"Oh, Anna. I'm sorry to put you through this."
"Sorry for the paper cuts or for how I struggled with my unrequited feelings for you?" Anna asked teasingly.
"Both." Elsa smiled grimly.
"What are we going to do, Elsa?" Anna asked quietly after a few moments, her eyes staring unseeingly at the cloudy skies through the open window.
"I don't know." Elsa sighed, resting her head against the wall. "But we can't do whatever this is. You are still engaged and you have a reputation to uphold." She stared at her hands, noting the absence of frost on her fingertips.
"I couldn't care less about my reputation." Anna muttered bitterly.
"I do. And I won't let you destroy yourself."
"No. You'd rather destroy me by staying away." Anna retorted, turning to glare daggers at the blonde. "Correct me if I'm wrong." She challenged.
Elsa only smiled in the polite and impassive manner that she so often used to shield herself from the world. She had no answer to that statement. The chaste kiss lingered on her lips and she was far too afraid to even consider the possibilities.
A/N:
Bit of a teaser for now...
I'll apologise in advance. I had a storyline all planned out initially... but its all gone down the drain now. This story deviated so far off the original plan that it's pretty much writing itself.
My sincere apologies if there were any discrepancies in the flow. I've tried to be consistent and have been checking back on previous chapters as I write.
But if you do spot any, drop me a PM!
Also, I've tried to cut down on the epithets. Are the sentences flowing better?