Tell me it wasn't a dream, Kim said to herself as she cracked open an eye. The bedroom was still pretty dark, but she smiled as she saw the familiar shadows. They were enough to confirm that she was in their bed. For the first time since she had returned to Salem seven months earlier, Kim was truly home.

Her mind went back to the night before. She had known Shane was near his breaking point. All those sleepless nights coupled with the strain of the arrest and his worry over protecting Andrew had built up. And when he had finally broken, he had finally been able to let all of that go and he had admitted what they both knew.

Their lovemaking had been the culmination of the flood of emotion that he had tried to hold back finally breaking through. Shane still knew her body and how to make every touch and kiss send wave after wave of pleasure through her. But even as she had shivered under his touch, Kim's focus had been on his eyes. She had been unable not tear her eyes away from his.

The fear and pain she had seen as he had finally let go of his emotions had disappeared. In their place, Kim had finally seen the love and desire - and a tenderness that had caused her body to ache for his touch.

In her mind, she had thought, This is a dream. A wonderful, erotic dream. It can't be real. And as she had gasped in pleasure, she had prayed, Please let this be real.

He had been tender and gentle, and as they had come together, he had looked down at her and asked, "Do you know how much I love you?"

She had known. She still knew. The answer had been clear in his eyes and in her heart. More than anything. More than life itself.

When it was over, they had said nothing. No words were necessary. The connection that had linked them since even before they could admit their love for one another was there - stronger than ever. Shane had run his index finger over her upper lip, a soft, gentle touch. She had reached up and brushed his matted hair, the dense curls plastered to his forehead in dark ringlets.

I love you, she had thought. I love you, Shane Donovan and I will be yours forever.

They had remained like that, silently pledging their love, until had he pulled away and rolled onto his back. Kim had turned over and rested her head on his chest. He had tenderly brushed her hair with one hand, while his other had wrapped around her side and held her close. And as Kim had savored that connection and drifted off to sleep, she had thought, I've never felt safer and more loved than I do right now.

Kim smiled again. The night before had reminded her so much of the first time they had ever made love. The two of them had been so afraid to admit their feelings that they had pushed each other away over and over. It had taken Shane finally gathering the courage to blurt out that he loved her to break down those last walls between them. The night before, it had been Kim's turn to do the same.

Maybe she could call in sick and they could spend the entire day together in bed. Now that is a wonderful idea, she thought as she turned over.

Shane's side of the bed was empty.

Almost in a panic, Kim sat up and looked around the room. A wave of relief passed over her as she saw him standing by the window. In the dim, pre-dawn light, she could only see the silhouette of his body. But at least he was there, further proof this was not a dream.

"Shane?"

He turned and just from the slow speed of his movements and the sound of the deep breath he let out, she knew exactly what he was going to say. Before he could even get the words out, she cut him off.

"Don't you do this," she said. "Don't you dare do this."

She could not see his face, but she could hear the pain in his voice. "Kim . . . that was a mistake. Last night never should have happened."

"Last night was wonderful," she insisted. How could he do this to me? She pulled herself out of the bed, not caring that she was naked. "Last night was beautiful and we were completely honest and open with each other for the first time in years. Don't act like it was anything less."

Shane said nothing as she crossed the distance between the bed and the window. As she got closer, she could see that he was wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. He had turned his head toward her, so she also could see his face more clearly. She could read the conflict there. She saw love, pain, fear, and so many other emotions at work. With his walls broken, she doubted Shane could have hid his emotions from her right then, no matter how hard he tried.

"How can you deny it?" she asked. "Last night, we made love - in our bed - and it was magical. Don't tell me you don't feel the same way."

"Kim. . . ." His voice was hesitant. "Yes, last night was wonderful and . . . and I'll cherish the memory, but it was a mistake. I can't lead you on thinking there's some kind of future for us."

"But there is," she said. Didn't he understand that?

Shane looked away. "Why can't you accept reality? I'm going to prison in a few months, and there's nothing that will change that."

"I don't care about that." Kim said. "Don't you understand? I don't have a life without you. If that means I wait for you-"

"Wait for me?" Shane's voice was full of disbelief. "The ISA's trying to put me away for the rest of my life. There's nothing to wait for."

Kim took a deep breath. "Then take the deal."

Shane's entire body seemed to freeze, before he turned around to face her. "You don't mean that," Shane said, shaking his head. "I told you what that would mean."

"So we'd move to England," Kim said. "I love you, Shane, and if it means waiting a few years and moving to England, then that's what we'll do."

Shane seemed stunned. "But your family's all here, and what about your job? I can't ask you to give that up."

"You didn't ask, and you don't have to." Kim stepped closer to him, reached out, and ran her index finger along his chest. Then she looked into his eyes. "I want to be with you because I love you, and if it takes all of us moving to England for that to happen, that's what we'll do. That's what a person does for love."

She could see that Shane remained unconvinced. "Do you have any idea what that would be like?" he asked. "I'd be a traitor. I mean . . . nobody would want anything to do with us."

"I don't care what anybody thinks," she said. "Let them think whatever they want. Anyone who knows you knows the charges are ridiculous and won't believe you did anything wrong." Anticipating what he would say next, she added, "And don't tell me Andrew would be better off without you. He loves you and he'll grow to understand."

There was still a glimmer of doubt in Shane's eyes.

"A few weeks ago, you said I didn't have enough trust in our love to think it could get through anything." Kim reached up and softly caressed Shane's cheek. "I trust that our love will get us through this."

Shane pulled away and took a few steps away. "And when that life turns out not to be what you bargained for? When you're all alone for three years and then isolated in the middle of England?"

He sounded like he was trying to find reasons to disbelieve her, and then it hit her why. "You don't think I can wait for you?" she said, voicing her accusation. "You think I won't be faithful."

"I didn't say that," Shane said. "It's just that you don't seem to know what you're promising. That kind of life won't be easy. It would be bloody hard and damn lonely." He paused. "If you left again. . . . I don't think I'd survive that."

"But I would never leave you." Why couldn't he believe her?"I know I made mistakes by leaving in the past, but-"

Shane cut her off. "But what? You said you realized you'd made a mistake the first time you left, but you did it again. I can't go through that again." His voice lowered and he said, sadly, "I can't spend the next few years clinging to some hope for our future and then have you rip my heart out again."

Kim wondered who was ripping out whose heart right now. The night before, when their walls had disappeared, everything had been perfect. Now, a mix of pain and anger filled her. He just could not let go. He had no faith in her. She looked at him and the bitterness fueled her words. "So last night meant nothing. You'll just throw away something incredible that could have led to something even more wonderful. Well, let me tell you something. Maybe it's time for you to look at yourself, Shane, because I'm not the one who's afraid to trust in our love. But if you can't do the same . . . maybe it is better that we end this now."

I won't let you keep hurting me, she said to herself.

"When Andrew and Jeannie wake up, I'm going to pack up their things and we'll go back to my folks." She looked Shane straight in the eyes. "I won't live here, knowing what we could have, yet not being able to have it because you can't trust us."

"It's not safe," Shane protested. "What about Andrew?"

"He's not any safer here," Kim said. She had heard what Shane told Roman when they had looked over the photos. "And we don't even know if Andrew's still the target," she reminded him. "Those 'X's were on Jeannie's picture and mine too."

"So you're all in danger." Shane shook his head. "Don't be a fool, Kim."

"I'm not," she said. "I'll talk to Roman and have the police reassigned to my parents. It won't be any different than what we have here." She knew he was going to continue to argue, but she cut him off. "That's my decision. I won't torture myself by being this close to you, knowing you want the exact same thing I do, but you're just too much of a coward to admit it. So the children and I are moving out, and if you want to argue about, take it up with a court." Bitterly, she added, "I'm sure they'll be perfectly happy to grant custody to an accused murderer."

She refused to look at him any further, because she did not want him to see the angry tears running down her cheeks. Instead, Kim glanced around the room and spotted her robe from the night before. She picked it up, pulled it around herself, and headed to the door. She had some packing to do.