Hello folks! Thanks as always for the fab reviews. I know that was a heavy one so I'm glad people still enjoyed it! Here is a much lighter flashback chapter, even though the present time stuff is still a bit angsty! Still a lot of chapters to come so don't worry, any fall-outs will be resolved before the end of the episode.
Thanks to thesameguest for reading over this chapter. She's got a new oneshot out called Doorsteps which I would recommend a read of! It's set in 1x19 and has the car-ride home with Stef from "group". Also thanks to TheTBone as ever - you can check out her pretty nifty story too!
Right, on with the show...
"Welcome to your new home, kids!" Stef opened the door as the two tiny children carefully shuffled in, each with no more than a backpack. Mariana felt safe enough with Stef. She had met her a few times now, and every time she had been very kind, but she still felt herself hanging on to her brother.
A second woman came through and the twins instantly recognised her as the other woman who'd come to visit them a few days prior. "You remember Lena, don't you? From when we came to the group home."
Jesus gave her a wide smile and a "Hello, Lena." Mariana's fingers loosened slightly, her own form of greeting that only Jesus could identify as he felt the ease on his arm.
"Well I'm very excited to meet you again." Lena bent down and squeezed a hand on their respective shoulders.
"Are they here?" A voice bellowed down the stairs followed by what sounded like a stampede.
An excitable boy came clattering towards them, but still looking back to his much daintier sister following behind. Stef grabbed the scruff of his shirt and pulled him back before he crashed into them, the twins gawping. This was enough for Mariana to have stepped closer into Jesus without even noticing.
"Okaaay, calm down please. Good impressions, remember?" Stef poked her son.
"I'm Brandon." The small boy stood up straight, working out of Stef's grasp and promptly sticking out his hand with a big smile.
"I'm...Jesus." Jesus squeaked out, tentatively taking it in a firmer handshake than he expected.
"This is Mariana." He added, even though she barely moved out from behind his arm.
"Pleased to meet you Mariana!" Brandon beamed, turning his hand towards her. He held it there for a few moments as Mariana eyed him nervously without responding.
"Di algo..." Jesus whispered to her blank face as Brandon turned, equally frustrated, to Stef. Kasey's impatience with her brother proved to be the shortest fuse in the stand off, evidenced by her slapping his hand down sharply.
"You're scaring her Brandon." She chastised as he opened his mouth with a "Mom!" and Stef pulled them both in under her arms as a warning.
"OK, enough." She responded before trying to get the conversation back on track. "So, as we've established, this is Brandon and this is - "
"Kasey." Kasey chirped. "Should we take their bags, Mommy?"
She looked up earnestly, ever switching between troublesome and responsible - both as natural for her as the other. Stef patted her chest with the hold she had over her shoulder.
"That is an excellent idea, Kasey. Now we will need to re-arrange the sleeping in the long run -"
"Am I gonna lose my -" Brandon's imminent query was stifled by Stef's hand as she continued, "-but for now you two can stay together in the spare room, I think."
"And while you settle I am going to get dinner on. Do you two like spaghetti?" Lena added in.
"Yes!" Brandon rocked on his feet, freeing his mouth from Stef's palm before a quick "Ouch!" As Kasey kicked him. "She meant Jesus and Mariana." She hissed.
"Ehm, no kicking please." Stef whispered pointedly, seeing Jesus and Mariana pull closer together again. "You're going to scare our new friends."
"I only kick Brandon." Kasey assured them with a loud whisper, Jesus wittling out a smirk as Stef shot an exasperated look to Lena.
"And she won't be doing it again, will you Kasey?" Lena asked as Kasey dipped her head down sheepishly. With no eyes on them, Stef and Lena exchanged a smirk of their own before Lena clapped her hands softly to get the evening's plan into action.
"Brandon, as you love spaghetti, why don't you help me with dinner and Kasey, why don't you take Jesus and Mariana up to where they'll be sleeping tonight?"
"Excellent idea, Mama." Stef agreed, fully understanding her partner's logic that Kasey was the more reliable as a tour guide - provided she didn't have disciplining (or aggravating) her brother to distract her. They knew that despite Brandon's heart of gold and best intentions, he was already proving he could come on a little strong. He was also more likely to be oblivious to the slight behind the allocation.
"I'll get the pans!" Brandon smiled, giving them reassurance in their decision, before running through to the kitchen.
"Head on upstairs, I'll bring your bags!" Kasey grabbed the two small rucksacks as Jesus smiled at Mariana, gripping her arm and escorting her towards the stairs.
"Thank you, love." Stef leaned down over her, hands once again over her daughter's shoulders. "And be good. Don't push them too hard, they're very shy." Stef warned in Kasey's ear, clapping her close into her stomach again.
"Mom, I'm not as stupid as - " She began before Stef raised her eyebrow, guiding her towards the decision not to finish the sentence. She turned it into a puppy-eyed smile instead and a pat on the butt sent her up the stairs where the two littler twins waited anxiously for instruction.
Stef and Lena clasped their hands together and leaned in, now with the room to themselves. "Could have gone worse!" Lena chuckled as Stef rolled her eyes.
"Can we be sure to keep any kids that came out of me at least three feet apart for the rest of the evening, yes? I think Kasey's micro-management of Brandon is only going to end in tears. Probably mine." She smiled as Lena gave her a kiss, interrupted by a clatter from the kitchen and a yell. After a brief moment resting their foreheads together in defeat, Lena conceded to go and face whatever mess would be waiting for her.
The evening went a lot better than expected, especially after some tactful, but explicit, guidelines on how not-to-overwhelm for Brandon and a few assertive prods and glares in anticipation of any of Kasey's predictable responses, especially at times it was clear Brandon had lapsed from his instruction manual - or at any point he once again suggested playing them a song.
Jesus especially spoke more and more, fully engrossed in conversation by the end of the night and both Stef and Lena were proud of the effort their own twins made to engage them in some less boisterous scenarios. Indeed, the whole group managed to keep the peace when the latest film they all enjoyed was stumbled upon in conversation. The day had been a tiring one, however, and it wasn't too long before the kids had been tucked into bed.
"Do you think we can have one more peek?" Lena ruffled her nose at a bending Stef. They had both fallen in love with the two children and experiencing the arrival together had been especially rewarding for them.
"Only one more time...we're going to scare them if we're lingering at the threshold everytime they look up." The two of them quietly leaned open the door and were swept with a momentary panic, seeing an empty bed. Instantly responsive, Stef swung the door open further, letting a little more light in and was quickly relieved and enamoured to see what had been the explanation.
Seeing Lena hadn't been quite as fast in the observation, she nudged her and flicked her head towards the second bed in the room where both children lay tucked up together. Stef grabbed Lena's hand in an affectionate squeeze, transferring across her thoughts on the matter along with a small wiggle of her nose. They quietly pulled the door to and made their way down to tidy up the kitchen.
"It seems nice here..." Jesus whispered in the darkness, Mariana's warm body curled up tightly towards him.
"I like them." She replied softly as he squeezed her a little tighter in agreement. Jesus knew that it would take a long time for Mariana to outwardly show it, but he could tell when she felt safe and the fact that he knew they were both happy made him feel even warmer.
"Jesus..." she added after a small pause, not needing a response to know whether to continue.
"How long do you think they'll keep us?"
Silence penetrated the waiting room. There were general hospital noises, but they had become so much of the scenery that the family barely heard them any more.
"He's right." Mariana commented, out of the blue after a few minutes of sitting in their new location. Jesus turned to her, waking from his own world. The two of them were once again sat alone, Lena and Brandon a few rows away, Kasey not up yet and Callie having left to go for some air.
"Who? Brandon?" He replied with a bitter undertone, he knew he was angry but he wasn't going to easily forgive him for saying the things that he did.
"They took us in. They gave us a home. A good home..."
"Mariana, you couldn't have imagined this was gonna happen. Its not like we planned it." Although he had been defending himself from her blame, he found it hard to assign his when Mariana was now pointing hers towards herself.
"Does it even matter? Why would I even contact her? Why would I even need to try and look for our Mom when we have Stef and Lena?"
Jesus' eyebrows crinkled down, he was nervous about her choice of words, worried how deeply Brandon's may have cut through. How many steps back they may have sent her on the journey of trust they had spent so long trekking.
"Look, you said yourself, Ana messes with your mind." He assured her. "We can't change things now anyway." He sighed, Mariana taking in the words but looking firmly to the floor. After a short pause she spoke up again.
"What if Mom..."
"Don't think like that." He immediately cut her off, putting his arm around her back and pulling her in close. She pushed the lump out of her throat.
"How will they be able to even talk to me again?" She sniffed, placing her face down in her hands, the pressure mounting again.
"Because they're our family." he emphasised, knowing that it would remind her not only that they were as much a part of this unit as any of the others, but also that even if Mariana had gone back to blaming herself, they were still in this mess together.
Kasey entered into the next waiting room shortly after the others. She felt herself moving slower and slower - desperate to find the information available but she'd already seen Brandon explode and was nervous she may be the next. She was generally more fiery than him as it was.
She finally got the nerve to walk in and passed by Brandon sitting with Lena. She took the seat next to him and rested her chin on her clasped hands.
"That looks painful." Brandon commented, seeing the bandage. The bleeding had slowed dramatically once it had been fitted but it was now looking even more dishevelled and the browny-red colouring was now quite prominent. Now Lena had seen Stef and was mildly less preoccupied, she clocked the comment and saw the target of it, surprised she had missed it before.
"Kasey, what happened to your hand?" She asked, concerned, though her voice was still on edge from all of the recent emotion.
"Oh this? It's nothing." Kasey dismissed it, pulling her sleeve down to attempt to cover it.
"It doesn't look like nothing." Brandon quipped before standing up and going for a pace around the room to distract himself. Kasey glared at him as he went but he was too focussed on the situation to notice.
"Did you cut it?" Lena took her arm and pulled the fabric back, taking a closer look.
"Yeah, just cut it on some glass at dad's. It looks worse than it is." Kasey let her check but quickly pulled it away again, seeing the growing concern. She didn't want Lena to have to worry about something so small. She didn't want to have to worry about something so small.
"On what glass?" Lena persisted. Kasey breathed out anxiously, but still failed to see the significance.
"Look I may have...smashed a thing or two. It's no big deal. It's covered."
"Not very well. You need to get it dressed properly or it'll get infected."
"It's hardly my biggest concern right now. I really don't care about it. It'll be fine." She groaned out sleepily, hoping it would be the end of the discussion. Lena bit her mouth closed with a growing irritation of her own.
"Right, of course you don't." She huffed back, the reckless attitude of Kasey's mother that had put them in this hospital all pressing heavily on her mind. Kasey knitted her eyebrows, perturbed at what sounded to much like an accusation.
"Meaning what?" She replied, now her turn to probe. She could feel the control that had been trying to keep her emotions in check slipping, but held on to it as best she could. She didn't want to lose it in front of Lena.
"That nobody in this family can think 5 minutes ahead regarding their own safety." Lena's voice went raspy looking to the door through which she knew Stef was. She had gone through so many waves tonight, fear being the most dominant, but now things were settling somewhat, the anger was creeping in. She had already snapped at Brandon and was having to take herself completely away from the twins. Kasey knew in her head that it was the stress and wanted to do her best to not react but the provocation was playing to her weakness.
"Well some things just happen." Kasey added bitterly, hoping again it would end the conversation. She needed it to end.
"Yeah, things like this." Lena persisted, driving in another emotional prod, her own resentments rearing into a rant. "Maybe if people would just take a little more time to think about possible repercussions of things then -"
"We can't all do things how you want us to do them, Lena!" Kasey cut her off without thinking, her voice was rinsed with frustration rather than anger , but suddenly the stress began to pour before she could do anything to stop it. "Sometimes it gets complicated and sometimes trying to can hurt more than a cut on your hand." She stormed up off her chair, partly out of anger but partly to remove herself, knowing it was already too late. Immediately she regretted it. She cursed herself. Lena was the last person who deserved to be on the receiving end of an outburst. What was worse, she called her Lena to her face. She often still habitually referred to her as such in conversation with her siblings or Stef but not directly to her - she hadn't done that in years, and certainly not in anger.
She turned straight back, an apology on her lips.
"I'm sorry - I didn't mean...I shouldn't have -" She dared to look at her. She wasn't sure if it was easier seeing Lena's face as more stressed than disappointed, but both were clearly there. It may not have been Lena's biggest concern, but there was some damage from the comment. Lena closed her eyes.
"Don't worry about it Kasey, just leave it." She replied softly, breathing it down. Her control had always been better but that in itself just poked harder at Kasey's guilt.
"I'll see if I can...get it dressed." She added moving away reluctantly with another curse. It was still hard to read how upset Lena had been by it or if it was just everything else being too much. She moved to find a free nurse and looked back to see Brandon had completed his lap of the room to return to his seat. She moved away slowly, squeezing her eyes hard with a silent prayer she may wake up in bed or anywhere other than here.
"Kasey!" She heard Callie yell over with a loud whisper just as she had left. Turning back she saw movement and seeing it was because the doctor was there she ran back.
"The good news is, beyond the lung there wasn't damage to any other vital organs..." the doctor was saying as she arrived over.
"Oh thank God!" Lena breathed out. "OK, what's the bad news?"
"Well, the bullet's resting near the spine which in itself isn't cause for concern, however, if any fragments should migrate into the spinal canal there's a risk of neurological damage so she'll need surgery to remove them."
Kasey closed her eyes, hearing the words. She knew what that meant - she'd watched enough TV to know what spinal injuries could mean. She zoned back in with a headshake to hear plans about seeing her. It immediately sparked up her attention as the family began to move through.
Lena stopped to turn as the doctor briskly disappeared to the doorway.
"You guys, Mom has a tube in her throat. It looks kinda scary but it's just there to help her breathe, OK?" She warned them before beckoning Callie to join them. She declined the offer, going back to her seat. The room would be crowded enough which provided a decent enough excuse for her to avoid another encounter with a hospital bedroom. Plus, volunteering not to go saved the anguish of confirming whether she was regarded as immediate family or not.
As the family went the same way as the doctor, Mike moved back to join her on the chairs.
He put his head in his hands and looked to the floor. He knew he was no longer an active part of Stef's life but that knowledge didn't make the distance any easier. He heard Callie clear her throat behind and he turned. She was shuffling uncomfortably, staring to her fingers. A wave of fatherly compassion swept through him. He thought how tough this must be for all of them - Callie included. He felt alienated, but he wasn't the only one who cared about Stef on this side of the door.
"You doin' OK?" He asked, as her head came up slowly. She wasn't sure she'd ever really spoken to Mike before. He was always nearby but they'd never really had the opportunity.
"Uhm, yeah. I'm OK." She gave him a half smile. "Better now we know things are you know...stable." She twitched her head from side to side as he turned his body round further. Now that there was no-one to distract, Callie was finding it harder to focus away from her own thoughts again.
"Hard being stuck here, huh?" He offered up as an opening. She looked back up to him, surprised their conversation was continuing, but not unhappy.
"Yeah." She agreed. "I hate hospitals." She sat on her hands, nervously. "Bad memories." She added quietly, masked with the tiniest of laughs to hide the sincerity behind the comment.
Mike looked her up and down and saw the anguish deep in her eyes that she had spent the day tucked away.
"Your parents?" He guessed as she nodded.
"Yeah...my uhm. Mom was killed in an accident." She tried to reply conversationally, rocking gently over her hands and again trying to hide the seriousness with a shrug of a smile.
"I'm so sorry." Mike dipped his head and patted her leg, reaching over the back of his chair. She now gave him a more genuine smile. In all of the mess of the night it was true she was the only person who hadn't been offered any comfort. She hadn't thought much of it until then as she had been trying too hard to put herself in a state not to need it.
"What about your Dad?" He asked curiously, also keen for a distraction from being on this side of the wall. At that her head dipped down, to the floor.
"Uhm..." she coughed with a squint. "He was the uhh...driver. He was drunk."
Mike's hand loosened on her knee as his mouth dropped down at the words. Sensing his discomfort but unaware why, she took a guess at awkward pity. That was a common reaction. "It's OK, it was a long time ago." She tried to reassure him. The irony of her reassuring Mike about her own father's death was lost on her, but as the only available person for her to reassure, it was also the only way right now she could avoid having to reassure herself. She was doing what she always tried to do. Remove herself from it.
For Mike, her follow up comments were irrelevant anyway. He wondered if Kasey had told her. If Stef had told her. Was this a hint, was it a setup? He immediately shook his head and mentally reprimanded himself for thinking it. How could he turn a poor girl's genuine pain into an excuse to wallow in his own issues? He pinched his nose and turned back to her.
"I'm sorry, I guess this place is just getting to me. I'm really sorry to hear that." he forced with another pat of her knee but couldn't face the conversation anymore. It felt like it was creeping at him from all angles now and he was relieved to see the others return from the room.
The twins were lagging behind a quick moving Brandon.
"Mom's given me the keys, we're gonna head home." He told Callie as she immediately stood up.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then..." Mike too rose, putting his hands in his pockets.
Brandon nodded and gave him a hug, Kasey hovering just behind. As Brandon came off and headed to the door, Kasey edged in. Her hug was less committed than before, the extra processing time and small outburst with Lena having taken her desperation a few steps back. It was short and she pulled away fast but she still closed her eyes with the sensation. He stroked her cheek as their bodies parted, holding her shoulders for a moment as Callie passed behind her and nodded a goodbye. The twins left too until it was just Mike and Kasey. For a split second he wondered, was he responsible for Stef's injury? Was he not at his best and therefore as culpable in Stef's accident as Callie's dad was in her mom's? Could he have done more to protect her were he not so distracted with his own difficulties?
"I'll see you tomorrow...?" She said in an effort to break Mike's grip that had been subconsciously tightening.
"Right." he nodded. "See you tomorrow."
Kasey walked towards the door, Mike watching her go. He licked his bottom lip and sat in the chair, rubbing the back of his head. He knew he was resigned to play the events of the day over and over so rested his elbows on his knees to begin his lonely replay.
Next Chapter Preview: In the past the family bonds over a family sleepover and in the present Callie attempts some bonding with Mariana. All is not perfect, however as Kasey and Jesus tackle the new dent in their relationship.
"Sorry. I'll come back later." She turned to move, but his voice stopped her.
"You thinkin' it too?" he asked bluntly. He moved away from the sink, clearly having had splashed cold water on his face. He grabbed a towel and patted it down.
"Thinkin' what?" Kasey asked, folding her arms.
"How pissed you are at me for putting your Mom in danger after you took us in." his tone was fed up and severe.
It wasn't a tone Kasey was in the mood for.