NF Chapter 10

Jiraiya thanked the waitress as she carefully arranged the dishes on the small table. Naruto too nodded his appreciation in a quiet acknowledgement as a large, steaming bowl was placed in front of him. While Jiraiya preferred to have a tapas of sorts, a small selection of everything, Naruto's true love would always be ramen. And this place did the best ramen in the whole city.

It had become a fast favourite of both Naruto and Jiraiya with their mutual love of Japanese cuisine. It was quiet, which seemed unusual for this time of year, the dark restaurant seating only a few. Part of the kitchen extended onto the bar, and Naruto always enjoyed watching them work: the chefs were not quite as frantic in their movements as usual today.

Jiraiya, after an additional day of isolation, had finally turned up at Naruto's flat. Another apology had been first: it had taken him longer than he'd thought to get any information. Secondly, he insisted on treating Naruto to a full meal. Having lived on nothing but ready meals - broken up by a rather good steak sandwich – Naruto had been more than happy to head out once more.

As they walked the short trail from Naruto's flat to the restaurant, Jiraiya explained that they didn't seem to be in any direct danger, and that they could relax a bit. The rest, he said, he'd explain once they were inside.

"The long and short of it," Jiraiya started, pausing as he broke the chopsticks apart and picked at his first dish. "Is that Orochimaru's gone to ground. He's done a disappearing act."

Naruto was surprised, but perhaps not as much as Jiraiya had expected. He picked up his own chopsticks before answering. "And that's it?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "And that's it. As of yesterday, he's completely disappeared. And he isn't just gone: all his operations have been dismantled, totally ground to a halt. Of course, it won't last long. The power gap is being filled, different people fighting for a piece of the pie." He paused, popping a gyoza in his mouth before adding. "So to speak."

Jesus, it's like something out of a gangster film. I never imagined Orochimaru would back down, much less vanish…

And, once again, he wondered just how it had happened. He voiced his concerns aloud. "He doesn't seem like the type to give up. Could it be that you got involved? Started asking questions and stuff?"

Jiraiya smiled slightly, looking less grim for a second or two. "As flattered as I am, I very much doubt it: he's never been scared of me before. And mark my words, something's spooked him."

Naruto had entertained the thought that Sasuke hadn't been the sole reason behind Orochimaru's disappearance. That maybe, unbeknownst to him, Jiraiya had been pulling strings in the background. It had made Naruto feel better, somehow. Like Sasuke was more… human. That he hadn't managed to successfully intimidate one of the most hardened criminals in the city.

But no. It was all Sasuke.

Christ, what did he have to do?

"So," Naruto said carefully. "Any theories?" It had occurred to him that with his apparently extensive network of information, Jiraiya may have already heard about Sasuke's involvement. And Sasuke's line of work was one thing he absolutely didn't want Jiraiya knowing.

Sasuke's old line of work, he corrected himself.

The concern must have shown on his face. "Nothing concrete," Jiraiya started, stalling a second. "There's your usual host of rumours: he's dead, he's fled to Mexico, the police got him… none of which I actually believe. He's lying low, gathering his strength."

"So he'll be back?"

Jiraiya chewed silently, seeming to choose his words carefully. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. But when that happens we won't be his top priority, that's for sure. Whoever made him run? They better watch their backs."

Naruto bit the inside of his lip, trying not to frown; he knew Jiraiya's words were supposed to be reassuring, but they had the opposite effect. He tried to put it out of his mind. Dwelling on Sasuke's safety wouldn't do either of them any good. Besides – Jiraiya had questions to answer.

"Okay, so if you say we're safe, I believe you." Naruto said, trying to find the right words. "But… it's starting to look like I'm involved in this too. And I'd appreciate it if you filled me in with exactly what 'this' is."

Jiraiya nodded, apologising for what must have been the fifth or sixth time. "You're absolutely right Naruto. I'm sorry I kept you in the dark for so long, I just thought… well, if you didn't know then you'd be safer."

"Yeah, I'm fucking used to that." Naruto snapped, looking up from his ramen. "Everyone thinks they know what's best for me. It's not like anyone ever asks my goddamn opinion."

As soon as the words had left his mouth, he regretted them. Closing his eyes, he placed the chopsticks down and took several deep breaths.

Find your centre…

When he finally opened his eyes again, he saw that Jiraiya had been waiting patiently for him. Embarrassed, he dropped his gaze to the bowl immediately.

"Are you okay, Naruto?" Jiraiya asked quietly.

He nodded silently, still not looking at his teacher. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Jiraiya replied quickly. "You have every right to be angry. Were you close to… you know?"

"No, I'm just… I'm not a kid any more. I've had people try to tell me what's best for me my whole life. When you're in care it's like your feelings don't matter, they just make all these decisions for you. And it's the same now, it seems like everyone but me knows what's going on."

He finally looked up at Jiraiya, surprised to find his teacher smiling gently. "You're right: I owe you that much. So…" He spread his broad hands invitingly. "What do you want to know?"

"Well…" Naruto started, unsure where to start. However he quickly gathered speed. "How do you have 'contacts?' Is it cause you're ex-military? How did you find out all you need about a highly wanted criminal so quickly? And what did you mean when you said you hadn't been 'entirely honest' with me the other day?"

Jiraiya laughed, that signature goofy grin the last thing Naruto expected to see. "So nothing short of everything, right? Okay, eat up and shut up: this might take a while."

(╯'□')╯︵ ┻━┻

"So let's recap: I'd just left the army, done my bit of humanitarian work training my students, and I decided it was time to come back home. I'd had my grand adventure, I just wanted to sit back, write and enjoy myself. I figured I'd earned it. What I'd earned was a rather hefty slap to the face.

"It was a nagging feeling at first: I got settled in, happy to be back, but it wasn't what I'd remembered. The longer I was there, the more it felt like the city I'd grown up in had changed. People used to speak to each other, the streets were safe… I know, sounds like your standard old-people talk, but I was in my late twenties. Something just wasn't right."

"To be fair," Naruto interjected with a raised finger. "You know what they say about us East-coasters."

"Yeah, and you know who says that? Those pricks on the West Coast!" Jiraiya almost shouted, much to Naruto's amusement. Grinning ruefully as he attracted a few questioning stares, Jiraiya added. "What can I say? Old loyalties. And didn't I tell you to shut up? Eat your goddamn food!"

Naruto held his hands up in mock apology as his mentor continued. "So I moved home, and things seemed different. It doesn't take me long to find out: guess who'd also moved back?"

"Orochimaru?" Naruto asked excitedly, through a mouthful of ramen. His earlier mood had lifted as quickly as it had arrived, Jiraiya's storytelling always drawing him in.

"The one and only. He'd beaten me back home by a few years, and had evidently been busy. The police were desperate enough to put a sketch out, asking anyone for information. Of course, the city was lousy with goths at the time – still is to be honest – so they could have been describing anyone. But the way they talked about his methods… it was brutal, Naruto. And you don't forget about that kind of thing in a hurry.

"So I go to the police, and they direct me towards a newly-promoted Detective Inspector Uchiha. That's right," he said in response to Naruto's jaw hitting the floor. "Sasuke's father. He looked over my service record, and he offered me an unofficial job: information gathering for his investigation. I took it."

Naruto was gobsmacked. "I didn't think this would get weirder, but… damn. You worked for Sasuke's dad?"

Jiraiya nodded. "It was an ugly job, and it didn't earn much, but I felt like I was making a difference. So I gathered a tight web of contacts, and went to work." He hesitated, his normally jovial face turning serious. "I'd seen a lot of things in my tour, things I buried deep down. But nothing could have prepared me for this. It was a slow, political war, punctuated with the type of violence I'd never imagined in my most twisted nightmares. Just when we thought we had something, it slipped away. Nothing stuck to the gangs. Took us far too long to realise that they had men inside the force. That drove Fugaku harder: he was determined to root out all the corruption, dig out the cancer. But he played the long game, earned their trust, and had me feed him a steady stream of intel. But it couldn't last.

"One of the bigger gangs, The Salamanders, went down. No one expected it, least of all me: years prior, they'd figured out I was an informant, beat me half to death. Their leader, Hanzo, thought it was funnier to leave me alive, like it was beneath him to kill me. The prick."

"What, would you rather he killed you?" Naruto asked incredulously.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he didn't. Doesn't stop him being a prick though. So, this gang goes down, and Fugaku asks me if I can look into it. By this point, I was doing less work for him: by some miracle my company had taken off, and I was happier for it. I should have listened to my gut, but I still cared about this place. And anyone with enough firepower to take down Hanzo was bad news, bad news which Fugaku needed info on."

He looked at Naruto from under his brow, head bowed, an unfamiliar bite to his voice. "Trust me on two things, Naruto: first, ignorance is bliss; the second is that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Took me a while to find out, but the guy responsible set up shop right in Hanzo's place. Started his own organisation: Akatsuki. My old student Nagato's personal gang. He calls himself Pain now."

Jiraiya shook his head solemnly, closing his eyes for a second. "It killed me to hear that. I'd always thought I'd done more good than bad in my life. But here he was, using the things I'd taught him to ruin more lives."

Naruto wasn't sure what to say. "But… it's not your fault. You thought you were helping him."

"No. I gave him the tools. The way I see it, I'm responsible." He paused for a second, composing himself slightly. "It was hard, living with that knowledge. I gave my report to Fugaku, left my company and left the city. I cut all ties, and I travelled. I did a lot of soul-searching, and I decided to dedicate the rest of my life to restoring the balance, so to speak. I wanted to help people. Sometimes I felt like I was running, but I thought it was worth it. At the time, anyway. I read about Sasuke's parents in a newspaper while I was in Rio. It was exactly the sort of thing I'd feared. I admit, I stopped paying attention after that. I travelled some more."

Jiraiya, sighed, sounded quite choked. "And then, years later, I got a message from Kakashi. I may have made it sound like he made a phone call and found me, but by his estimation it took a good few months of tracking me down. I hadn't left any way to contact me. I… I didn't even know about Minato and Kushina. You'd only just been born when I left, and I never imagined anything like that would happen. Once again, my best intentions had been the worst possible decision: if I'd been back, I could have taken care of you. I could have helped you, Naruto. Honestly… not being there for you has been one of my biggest regrets."

Naruto felt himself tear up, Jiraiya's raw emotion touching him. "Hey, come on… you couldn't have known. Just being there for me would have been enough, but you've done so much for me Jiraiya. You shouldn't feel guilty." He laughed shakily. "Come on man, you're gonna make me cry."

Jiraiya smiled gently. "Thank you, Naruto. It means a lot."

A happy, emotionally-charged moment passed between the two, the silence comfortable. The two of them didn't often talk feelings, Jiraiya preferring to let his actions speak for the most part. And Naruto respected that, suspecting that Jiraiya's unspoken guilt had been bubbling under the surface for a while. Naruto understood guilt all too well.

"So…" Naruto started, slightly awkwardly. "What happened after that?"

"There's not very much to tell: I came back, had the pleasure of meeting you, and we started training. I haven't done any police work since then, but I've managed to keep my ear to the ground and follow all the news. Kept my finger on the pulse. And here we are."

Naruto sat silently for a second, trying to process all the information. He had a thousand questions about the gangs, the power structures, who controlled what… but he felt it would be inappropriate to ask. Jiraiya obviously didn't like talking about some of the things he had seen, and with good reason: it sounded horrible. And it made him worried for Sasuke.

"You should write a book." Naruto said eventually.

"I've written several."

"No, I mean about all this!" Naruto waved his arm at the window, almost knocking out a waiter as she passed. After stuttering out an apology, he turned back to a laughing Jiraiya. "I mean the city, about all the gangs and stuff."

"I know Naruto, I know." Jiraiya chortled, taking a sip of beer. "But there's a reason I don't talk about it much: that kind of knowledge can get you unwanted attention. And it always ends up hurting the ones close to you more than it hurts you. I ended up driving away the only woman I ever loved. We still talk, and sometimes I wonder, but…" He shook his head, but was still smiling. "What was the quote? 'Our ships passed too late in the night to change course?' Something like that anyway."

He pointed at Naruto suddenly, his expression suddenly serious. "That's another thing: if you have a chance to be happy with someone else, you seize it. Don't overthink it, you do it. We get little enough happiness in this world, and it's hard not having anyone to share it with. Don't be like me."

"I'll do my best, Jiraiya."

(╯'□')╯︵ ┻━┻

Naruto checked his phone anxiously as he waited on Sasuke's arrival. Crowds of people passed, the Mile even busier than usual. Every year his city hosted one of the world's most renowned festivals, a month long celebration of music, comedy, every possible kind of performance under the sun. And Naruto loved seeing people from all different cultures come to his little corner of the globe and enjoy themselves.

Or at least he loved the idea of it. The truth was it completely ground everything to a halt. Queues were longer, drinks more expensive, and it took so long to get anywhere. Naruto had overestimated his journey, leaving him stupidly early, and was now trying to find somewhere to stand and wait for his friend.

Better too early than late…

The sun blazed overhead, the last dregs of summer filtering through in golden light and good weather. The tourists seemed to be lucky this year, getting the best of the usually dismal weather. Naruto, of course, had forgotten sunglasses and held his hand up to his brow, squinting. He searched the crowds to try find his friend, looking for that distinctive onyx-dark hair.

He had held off on texting Sasuke for a while, unsure of what to say. Once he'd got the all-clear from Jiraiya, Naruto had sent a message letting him know, and suggested they meet up. Neither of them wanted to go out drinking during the festival: it was fun to meet new people, but they agreed the night-time crowds weren't worth it. And Naruto wanted to actually see Sasuke sober for a change. Not that he said as much, of course: he didn't want to offend him, not so soon after they'd finally reunited.

Luckily, Sasuke seemed to have a somewhat unconventional solution: they visit one of the city's many cathedrals, guaranteed to be quiet despite the festival. Naruto was more than happy to go along with this, as he felt like he hadn't done nearly enough sight-seeing in his 20-odd years here. Still, he was both nervous and excited about meeting Sasuke once more.

He eventually spotted his friend in the crowd and waved him down. Sasuke seemed surprised. "I thought I was gonna have to do some waiting," he admitted, pushing a pair of dark glasses up his nose. "Dare I say it, your timekeeping has improved?"

"It may have…" Naruto said haughtily before giggling. "Nah, I'm just early cause of the festival. Buses are a nightmare about this time."

Sasuke smiled slightly, beginning to walk up the Mile. He was dressed more casually today, the fitted black t-shirt a stark contrast to his usual baggy clothes. Despite the weather he was wearing grey jeans and the Doc Martins he seemed to never be without. The only indication he seemed aware of the weather was a pair of sunglasses, thin metal frames and dark, oval lenses.

"Not having to work today?" Naruto asked, pointing at the t-shirt as they fell in step, walking slowly with the crowd.

He hummed a yes. "I'm taking a small break. Orochimaru may be gone, but his empire is still here: there's a big portion to be legitimised. But I'm leaving that to my people for now."

"Good," Naruto smiled. "I'm glad you're getting out of it. And you're taking a break. Although I'm sweating just looking at you."

Sasuke shrugged non-committedly. "I don't like shorts."

"Or any shoes that aren't boots, apparently."

"What can I say? I'm a creature of habit."

But despite his insistence he was taking a break, Sasuke looked worse than ever. At a cursory glance he seemed his usual self: well groomed, impeccably dressed, not a strand of hair out of place… but after a second look, Naruto thought he seemed ill. He looked thinner than usual, his cheeks gaunt. He even looked paler than normal, practically translucent in the bright afternoon glow. Naruto could swear that he clenched his jaw tight every so often too. It made him feel uneasy.

The two passed unending waves of performers as they climbed the Mile; comedians, magicians, any and every type of musician you could think of, all competing in close quarters for the crowd's attention. Living statues, a dance troupe, they even saw a man dressed as a wizard balancing on the end of a long staff.

"Goddamn," Naruto muttered, more to himself than anyone, looking up at the bearded wizard. "How does he do that?"

Sasuke briefly glanced at the man, frowning slightly. "You see where the staff touches the cloak there?" He leaned past Naruto, pointing, the two close in the crowd. "It's attached. There's a platform for him to stand on, or a harness up his back. Sleight of hand."

"Oh. Well that ruins the mystery."

"Somewhat," Sasuke agreed. "But it's still impressive."

Naruto nodded silently, pausing to drop a few coins in his collection.

Squeezing through a small gap in the dense crowd surrounding a tiny girl with a ukulele, they approached the stone steps of the church. It rose tall against the buildings on either side of it, sharp spires contrasting with sloped tile. It was made of sandstone, the same as most buildings in the city. The rare sunlight made the golden stone light up, like it was being illuminated from within. Naruto had always liked that.

As he made his way up the shallow steps, Naruto realised that he hadn't been inside a church since his last set of foster parents. Unwanted memories pushed their way to the front of his mind, and he hesitated slightly at the entrance. He caught sight of himself in the glass security doors beyond the heavy wooden ones, and was reminded of Orochimaru's earlier words.

Still just a scared child.

He put it out of his head, trying to forget. He wasn't going to let the past ruin his day. Naruto crossed the threshold as Sasuke looked back for a second, holding the glass door open. Muttering a quick thanks, Naruto joined him inside the cathedral.

For a moment he was awestruck: the massive ceiling, gilded statues, the impressive carvings and artwork, it all created a wonderful, majestic image. To the right, a giant pipe organ rose from the pews, all burgundy wood and shiny chrome.

"Wow," he quietly breathed, struck dumb.

"It's quite something, isn't it?" Sasuke agreed in the same hushed tones.

"Yeah, the last church I was in wasn't nearly as… fancy."

Sasuke chuckled slightly. "I think 'fancy' is an understatement."

"What do you want from me, a sonnet?"

Slowly, they progressed into the cathedral, passing rows of simple wooden pews. Naruto pointed up at the ornamental candelabras lining the centre of the enormous arched ceiling. "Those are pretty cool. Makes it feel authentic, you know? Those big fuckers going all the way up the aisle. The place I used to go to didn't have any of that."

Sasuke's hooded eyes followed his finger. "Technically, that's not the aisle. Aisle's off at the side."

"Wait, what? That doesn't sound right."

As if he'd planned it, Sasuke dryly pointed at a sign to their left. It led off into a secluded seating area, the placard reading 'Albany Aisle.'

Naruto narrowed his eyes in mock contention. "You win this round, Sasuke."

The man in question just shook his head as Naruto went in to get a closer look. There was a mural of fighting soldiers carved out of dark red stone, accompanied by a list of names.

"Damn, look at all of them… really give you a sense of-" He was cut off suddenly as Sasuke swatted him in the arm. Naruto rounded on him, about to ask what the deal was, but found Sasuke jabbing his finger at an elegantly carved sign below the first one.

'A place for silent prayer and contemplation'

Sasuke raised the finger to his lips.

Well great, now I feel like an asshole…

He silently inspected the rest of aisle, which didn't take long; compared to the size of the cathedral, it wasn't too big.

"Why make a sign like that so small?" Naruto grumbled as they descended the slight step between the aisle and the atrium. "Rules should be written large so idiots like me don't miss them."

Sasuke shrugged, his eyes skywards. "I don't think it's so much a rule, more of a respect thing."

They had moved on, coming to a small alcove to the left. It contained a tomb, white marble carved in the likeness of a man lying in death, holding a sword.

"I didn't peg you as the type to respect Christianity so much. Especially with your…" Naruto trailed off, blushing as he realised what he almost said.

"With my…?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

Naruto leaned over and tried to busy himself with the intricate tomb of Saint something-or-other. "Well, you know… because of your-"

"-Oh, because I fuck other guys?" He asked casually.

Naruto almost hit his head on the edge of the tomb's alcove. "Jesus, Sasuke, not so loud."

"Hey, don't blaspheme. We're in a church."

Naruto looked around quickly, but it seemed that the nearby tour group had passed. "You're the one talking about-" he lowered his voice to a terse whisper "-fucking other guys."

"But I didn't take their saviour's name in vain. I still have the moral high ground." Sasuke smirked, his voice unusually playful. He leaned across the entrance, forearm on the doorway, effectively blocking Naruto in. "So what's got your panties in a twist, hmm? The fact that I'm so blunt, or that the bible bashers might hear?"

Sasuke paused a second, seeming like he'd had a realisation. The teasing half-smile slid from his face, replaced quickly by his usual stoicism. "Sorry, I'm being a dick." He lowered his arm and leaned his back against the opposite wall, looking away from Naruto into the church. "I'm not being one of those guys who uses their sexuality for shock value. Promised myself I wouldn't. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"No, it's okay." Naruto insisted. After the initial surprise had worn off, Naruto felt guilty for reacting the way he had. He thought he was more tolerant than that. "It was just… unexpected, is all. It just takes some getting used to, you know? But I don't want you censoring yourself on my account. It's very… you."

Sasuke smiled a little. "Thanks, Naruto. It means a lot that you try." The slight smile became a teasing grin once more. "So when are you gonna stop blushing when I talk about fucking dudes?"

Sure enough, he felt the colour rise in his cheeks. "I was trying to be… delicate. I didn't want to offend you."

"Ah Naruto, you're too pure for this world."

That just made Naruto blush even more. "Fuck off."

Sasuke chuckled under his breath, low and deep. "You don't need to be 'delicate' on my account. Anything you could say, I've heard before. And from people that actually meant it, too. I know you're not a bigot." He glanced quickly at Naruto. "I am sorry, you know."

"Well you don't sound it." Naruto grumbled, but once he'd gotten over the irrational embarrassment he also found it funny. "Let's get out of here, even the dead guy's getting uncomfortable at this point."

"Nah, check out that moustache – I think he might be into it."

"Holy shit," Naruto burst out laughing. Teasing, he added, "Now I thought we weren't supposed to judge people on stereotypes anymore, Sasuke."

"Yeah. But when I do it, it's okay." Sasuke smirked as the wandered out of the alcove.

"Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't be an asshole." Naruto replied, grinning.

"True. But when you're rocking the Freddie Mercury Special…"

That just about killed Naruto. Trying to supress his laughter as a stern-looking tour guide furrowed his brow at them, they continued their wanderings. They admired the beautiful stained glass windows; a small side chapel with traditional family crests, shields, and delicately-carved animals on each armrest; and finally the giant pipe organ, the steps allowing access to the console. Any residual awkwardness between the two had faded, Naruto's warmth drawing Sasuke out of his shell.

Sasuke gently stroked his finger over one of the immaculate white keys, not hard enough to activate the behemoth of an instrument. "You know, I always wanted to learn something like this."

Naruto scoffed slightly. "The organ?"

"No, just an instrument. Like piano, or guitar. Never had the time though…" His voice changed from wistful for teasing again. "Although I'll play your organ any day."

"Sasuke!"

"Sorry, not sorry. This is too much fun." He laughed as Naruto, his face deep red, punched him in the arm. "You said you didn't want me, what was it, 'censoring myself?' I've got to get some jokes in before you acclimatise to all this gay."

In truth, Naruto wasn't sure how he felt about the comment. He thought back to the kiss the other night: could Sasuke be attracted to him?

Now just cause a man's gay doesn't mean he wants you. Come on, don't be that guy.

As they climbed the step down the organ, Naruto looked around at the cathedral. "Well I think we've seen everything: what now?"

Sasuke was silent for a second, scanning the back of the church. "There's a nice spot up the back there: want to just sit for a while? I find it relaxing being here."

As they sat down, Naruto finally had a second to really look at Sasuke. Getting a full view of his face, Naruto's earlier suspicions were confirmed: his friend looked ill. There were dark bags under his eyes, his gaze slightly unfocused. Given their usual intensity, Naruto was rather worried.

"Look, Sasuke, you okay? You don't look well." Naruto asked slowly.

He gave a humourless laugh. "Thanks."

"I mean it, Sasuke: in the nicest possible way, you look like crap. What's up?"

Sasuke was silent for a beat, looking like he was deciding whether or not to answer. The once-sharp eyes stared straight ahead, avoiding Naruto's gaze. "I haven't slept in a while."

Naruto frowned. "How long?"

"Since I was at yours."

"But that was days ago!" Naruto almost shouted, checking himself at the last minute. He lowered the volume. "Has this happened before?"

Sasuke seemed amused. "More times than I can count, Naruto." He leaned back in the pew, throwing one leg over the other and his elbows behind the back rest. "Perks of being me."

Naruto wasn't sure what to say. "I mean, you could always try pills, or-"

"-No." Sasuke interrupted sharply, followed by a pause. "I don't wanna get hooked on anything like that. I don't wanna feel like I need drugs to function. Can we just drop it Naruto? I've had enough people offer me advice. I know it comes from a good place, but…" He sighed, shaking his head. "I'll be frank Naruto, I don't need that bullshit."

Naruto felt offended for a second, but the statement sounded familiar. "You don't need people telling you what's best for you, right?"

Sasuke smiled a little, glancing at Naruto. "Something like that."

"Then I'll drop it." They sat in silence for a second or two, Naruto desperately trying to come up with another topic. "So I never got an answer to my question earlier: how come you respect all this so much?"

Sasuke laughed, shooting a small, wolfish smile at Naruto. "We did get rather distracted, didn't we?"

"I mean it! We're talking about a religion that's oppressed just about everyone you can think of." He countered, trying not to blush again.

Sasuke didn't say anything for a second, just stared up at one of the windows. His eyes seemed more focused. "I must admit, I saw it the same way you did for a long time. But… I dunno. People will use anything to justify bigotry. I've met assholes from all walks of life."

"Most of the religious people I've met have been total pricks."

"They probably thought the same about you." Sasuke teased. He pulled a wallet out of the tight jeans, flipping it open and handing Naruto a card. "It might surprise you just how religious some people are."

Naruto, eyebrows raised, took the proffered card. It was simple, black, with a thin, white kanji emblazoned on the front, a slight red glow surrounding the writing. Slightly bemused, he turned it around in his hands. "What's this supposed to be?"

Sasuke smiled patiently, still looking at the beautiful windows. "Ever heard of an omamori before? I doubt it, unless you're really into anime or something. It's Shinto."

"Wait, wait, you're religious?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Since when? And what's Shinto?"

"I know, I don't seem the type, do I?" Sasuke shrugged light-heartedly. "It's kinda the prominent religion in Japan. That and Buddhism. My parents were into it, Dad mostly. It was only recently I started looking into it again. It's pretty laid back to be honest: the only real rule is 'don't be a fuckhead.'"

"So what's the oma… card thingy for?"

"Omamori." Sasuke sighed, but explained. "It's like… spiritual protection. You can get tons for different kinds of wishes, almost."

Naruto nodded – as Sasuke had predicted, he was surprised. "So what does yours do? What's your wish?"

The corner of Sasuke's lip curled slightly, but it seemed hollow. "Mine's not the normal deal of good luck, or love. It's quite a bit older than that."

"That doesn't tell me anything!" Naruto replied, frustrated as usual with his friend's evasiveness.

"That was the point." Sasuke took it back with his thin fingers, inserting it into the wallet with care. "If you can read the kanji I'll tell you. But, if memory serves, you can't even remember your own name…"

"You know you're not exactly proving the virtues of faith, you mysterious prick." Naruto grumbled, but in good spirit; he figured it must be quite personal, and Sasuke's deflection was to protect his privacy.

No matter what, he just doesn't open up…

As his friend shrugged again, Naruto continued. "So how much of it do you actually believe? Like, do you really think that carrying round a card is gonna ward off evil?"

Sasuke laughed slightly, exhaling through his nose. "No, not really. It's more a respect thing, you know? And… I like its optimism." He gestured around at the church. "One thing I don't like about all this is that it tries to convince you that you're a bad person. You're born with sin. In Shinto, everyone is good, more or less. The evil, all that negativity, it's caused by spirits, or demons. Do I believe in Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, or any of the other countless Gods? No. But I like the idea of it."

Naruto was silent for a second, nodding. "That's… actually quite nice."

Sasuke hummed in agreement. "The thing is, if you take the bible – and many other holy books too – and you look at the stories as metaphors, it's quite similar. The message is 'don't be a tool,' and some people need that in their lives."

Naruto frowned. "I hadn't thought about it like that. I just…" He thought about the last time he was in a church. "I guess I've had bad experiences."

Sasuke glanced over at him, a strange expression on his face. "Yeah?"

Naruto bit the inside of his cheek. He opened his mouth, about to say the same thing Sasuke had said earlier: drop it.

How can I expect Sasuke to share with me if I don't do the same with him?

Naruto thought for a second before he started to speak. "So you remember I had a few shots with foster families?"

Sasuke nodded. "None of them ever stuck, right?"

"Yeah, and there was a reason for that. I wasn't just an awkward child. Have you ever heard of IED? Stands for Intermittent Explosive Disorder." Naruto sighed. "Makes me sound like a bomb, doesn't it?"

Sasuke winced. "Just a little."

"The long and short of it is I have problems controlling anger. If something upsets me enough, I fly off the handle. It didn't happen often, but when it did… well, just ask Neji."

"That's what that was?"

Naruto nodded, slowly getting more comfortable. "Yeah. He kept calling Hinata worthless, pathetic, and… well you remember. I just can't believe it led to me becoming friends with him."

Sasuke chuckled slightly. "That could only happen to you, Naruto. I've never made any friends with my fists."

Naruto grinned, but it quickly slid from his face. "It didn't always work out so well. That's how I always ended up back in care. But it was the last set of foster parents that really stuck out. They were very religious, Church-every-Sunday type Catholics, really hardcore about it. They took me in because apparently God had told them to help the 'less fortunate.'" He snorted. "Bullshit. They just wanted to feel good about themselves. I overheard the mother talk about 'increasing their standing in the community.' But I was fourteen, I didn't really understand.

"They treated me like shit." Naruto continued. "Not quite the whole Harry Potter cupboard-under-the-stairs deal, but close. They told their own kids not to talk to me, because they might be 'corrupted.' Most of my time was spent doing chores, and I wouldn't get fed if they weren't done well. But I really tried my best, cause even that was better than feeling unwanted. Negative attention's better than no attention, right?"

The realisation dawned on Sasuke's face. "So that's why you always played the clown."

Naruto nodded. "It was only recently I really got to grips with this. Got a proper diagnosis, analysed the way I'd acted… took a while. But Jiraiya helped so much."

"It would… explain a lot."

"Yeah, I know I was a little shit. Who's being delicate now?" Naruto laughed, but quickly turned serious again. "Anyway, I didn't finish my story: so I was living with this family for a while, and they took me to meet their priest. Asked me a bunch of questions, pretty standard stuff. And then he asked if I had any confessions."

Naruto was finding it hard to keep going. "I told him about how angry I got. And that I worried it made me a bad person. That fucker told me it did. He looked me straight in the eye, and told me that I was being punished. It was all part of God's plan, unless of course I started devoting my life to Him. And it made me so angry. The fact that a God could want to do this to me, to fix it so I never knew my parents. To make my life miserable. To make me so goddamn lonely. And it all just built up, and built up, and I-" He cut off as the raw emotion got to him. It wasn't often he felt the same as he had when he was fourteen. "I head-butted him."

There were several seconds of silence. Naruto glanced at his friend, who looked deep in thought, and went on. "I ran. I didn't even know where I went, everything just seemed… blurry. The police picked me up, of course. I earned myself a beating with the foster parents, accused of being some sort of demon, then they packed me back into care as soon as they were able. So yeah. I don't really have a lot of respect for this place, or the people that follow it."

Sasuke exhaled, nodding slightly. "Fuck. I can see why. That's a fucking horrible thing to say to a child. He deserved that."

Naruto shook his head stubbornly. "But it wasn't me in control. Sometimes… I mean sometimes the IED feels like a voice whispering in my ear. Telling me to do stuff I know I shouldn't. Not that I hear voices," he quickly corrected. He didn't want Sasuke to think he was nuts. "More like intrusive thoughts."

"I understand what that feels like." Sasuke said quietly. "Believe me, Naruto, you're not as crazy as you think."

"So I'm a little crazy then?"

"Undoubtedly. Just a bit. But all my favourite people are." Sasuke smiled, full and genuine. It instantly lifted Naruto's spirits.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment or two. Naruto felt a lot better: he hadn't told anyone that, except Jiraiya. Sasuke's easy acceptance, his reassurances… it wasn't exactly what he'd expected. But Sasuke didn't seem the least bit phased.

"Wanna get out of here?" Sasuke ask, slipping the sunglasses off his collar.

"Sure," Naruto smiled, standing up and stretching. He pointed to the sunglasses. "Need to protect your image?"

"Yeah, I can't be seen outside with the likes of you." Sasuke laughed, carefully putting them on. "They're for the sun, dumbass."

Naruto placed a hand on his chest with a flourish as they turned to leave, trying to look as outraged as possible. "Seen with me? How dare you! It is I who should be worried about being seen with such a ruffian!"

Sasuke sighed, shaking his head but still smiling.

They emerged into the soft sunset, Naruto squinting as the last rays of the day peeked over the rooftops.

"Wow," Naruto muttered as he checked his phone: he hadn't checked it since they'd entered, a rarity for him these days. The downside was he hadn't realised they'd been inside that long. "We were in there a while: I need to get the next bus or I'm gonna miss my training."

Sasuke glanced at his wrist, humming in agreement as he looked at his watch.

A watch, of course he has a watch! Bastard probably has a mortgage and all…

In truth, Naruto did feel slightly intimidated by just how adult Sasuke seemed. They were both twenty one, but Naruto still felt like a kid most of the time; Sasuke, in comparison, had spent however-many years working for a criminal, done all sorts of things that Naruto couldn't even begin to guess. Hell, the only job Naruto ever had was at the publishing firm, and he'd only got that because his Godfather owned the damn company. Half of his friends were at college or university, or in a job with actual career prospects. They were working towards something, and he was just kinda… stuck.

It must have shown on his face. "You alright?" Sasuke asked quietly as they moved through the dwindling crowds. Naruto nodded silently, not wanting to unload any more on his friend today.

As if he'd read his mind, Sasuke paused for a second before continuing. "You know, I appreciate what you told me. That sort of thing isn't easy to share. I'm not good at advice, but if you ever need someone to listen… well, you have my number. I know I've brushed you off before, but that's gonna change. I promise. I'll always have time for you, Naruto."

Naruto smiled as his friend looked away awkwardly. Feelings definitely weren't Sasuke's strong suit. "Thanks man. Same to you, okay? If today's taught me anything, it's that we aren't nearly as fucked up as we think."

Sasuke said nothing, scratching his jaw, eyes dead ahead. "Thanks," he eventually muttered through his teeth.

Poor guy. Even his issues have issues.

Naruto couldn't help but wonder for the umpteenth time what had happened that night three years ago. If even a fraction of what the news had said about Itachi was true, then…

A weaker man might not be here at all.

The thought set his teeth on edge.

There was a comfortable silence between the two as they walked down the Mile, but Naruto couldn't take it anymore: he had to know what had happened.

"Hey, Sasuke, I-"

But he was cut off as they passed a boisterous man handing out leaflets for a show. Throwing his hand into the air, shouting, he wasn't much different from the dozens of others that descended on the city this time of year. But it was the content that threw Naruto slightly.

"Gayest Thing You'll Ever See! The show that's rocking the country, Gayest Thing You'll Ever See!"

Naruto was stunned for a second. "That's certainly… different."

Sasuke, who until this point had stubbornly ignored any fliers thrust at him, leaned past Naruto. "Attention grabbing," he agreed as he took one, looking up at the man from under his brow. "I take that as a personal challenge."

"You won't be disappointed," the man grinned, wide and toothy. "You look like the kinda guy that'd enjoy it."

"Well, if the shoe fits…" Sasuke called over his shoulder as they continued.

Naruto burst out laughing after he got over the initial shock. "Oh God, that was brilliant! Gayest thing you'll ever see!"

He was laughing so hard he snorted, which tipped Sasuke over the edge.

"Shut it!" Naruto yelled, still laughing, slapping the giggling Sasuke on the arm.

Sasuke grinned as he scratched the corner of his eye, that smug smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "Nah, it's adorable."

Naruto tried not to blush again. He failed.

They approached Naruto's bus stop, quickly checking the timetable. His one was in three minutes.

If I'm gonna ask him, it needs to be now.

"I had a good time tonight, Naruto. It's been a while since I properly enjoyed myself." Sasuke paused for a second, thinking. "Without booze, anyway."

"Same," Naruto grinned, but it soon faded. "Look, Sasuke, I hate bringing this up. But I have to know."

The gentle smile disappeared from Sasuke's face in an instant, shutting down and reverting to inscrutable stoicism.

"Did…" Naruto started, trailing off as he saw his bus round the corner, the only one that would get him to training on time; he had to hurry. "Is- is it true? What they said about Itachi?"

Sasuke said nothing for a second, staring off the bridge into the distant hills outside the city.

"I'm sorry Sasuke, but I need to-"

"It's true. Every word." Sasuke's face was calm but his eyes, still out to the green, burned. "He told me himself."

And without another word, he turned heel and walked away.

"Sasuke, wait!" Naruto yelled as the bus pulled up to the curb. He had to make a split second decision: go to the training session, or go after Sasuke.

All things considered, it was an easy choice.

"Ah, fuck." He spat as he high-tailed it in Sasuke's direction.

Getting to the end of the bridge, he looked down both ends of the Mile, but had no clue which direction Sasuke had gone.

Come on, he can't have gone that far…

But Sasuke was nowhere to be seen, blended into crowds entering and leaving pubs, and the more persistent performers.

"For fuck's sake," he muttered, pulling out his phone. He dismissed the 'Battery Critically Low' warning, finding Sasuke's number and hitting dial.

I shouldn't have pushed him. What the fuck was I thinking? 'I need to know' – what bullshit!

All these thoughts ran through his head at a thousand miles per hour as the phone rang out: Sasuke wasn't picking up. He cursed again, hit redial, but his phone gave a pathetic buzz as the screen went black.

"Son of a-" Naruto managed to contain himself as a family with young kids passed him.

I've totally fucked things up. One day with him and I've already fucked up.

He stood still for a second, slowed his breathing, and tried to think logically.

It's okay, the bus goes up this way, I can still make training and call Sasuke later…

He turned to run to the next stop when the bus passed.

Groaning in exasperation, he set off at top speed, narrowly avoiding a taxi as he bolted across the road. But he was just too late: the bus crawled to a start as he reached the stop, hand raised.

Damn it, now I'm gonna have to call Jiraiya. On my dead phone…

Fuck-nuggets.

As he sat the prerequisite twenty minutes until the next bus, he tried not to worry about keeping Jiraiya waiting. He'd probably just laugh and say that old Russian proverb he was fond of: "chase two rabbits and you'll catch neither."

But Sasuke weighed heavily on his mind. Just imagine having that hanging over your head. Naruto couldn't believe it then, and even all these years later he was finding it hard. But here it was, straight from Sasuke's own mouth.

Itachi Uchiha had murdered his own parents.

(╯';□';)╯︵ ┻━┻

Three years ago

Naruto had been in class when it happened. It hadn't seemed like anything was amiss at first. But then again, these things never do.

The rain had been hammering hard all day. Sheets and sheets of dense droplets pounded the streets, the trees swaying hard with the wind. That had always stuck out in his mind: first it was slamming the classroom windows; then it soaked him to the bone; it ended with the gutters running red.

The Headmaster needed to speak to Sasuke. He left the class… and didn't come back. It didn't seem unusual though; they had only been a few minutes from lunch. Naruto had gathered his friend's jacket and bag and waited in their usual lunchtime spot. Then he saw it.

The cafeteria had a big television on one wall, usually tuned to the news in a failing effort to get students engaging with the world. It was mostly ignored, but not today. There was a familiar face on display in the corner of the screen, the anchor's words drowned out by the noise of hungry students. The scrolling banner at the bottom was clear enough though.

Breaking: Itachi Uchiha, prime suspect in Uchiha Massacre.

Itachi Uchiha.

It took Naruto a second to process this, Sakura similarly stunned next to him. He took a few steps forward, shoving people out of the way so he could hear.

"…and once again, police urge citizens not to approach Uchiha: as well as being the prime suspect in the Uchiha Massacre, Itachi Uchiha is believed to have connections to organised crime, and possible contacts within the police force. We are trying to reach-" She cut off, her eyes drifting from the camera, one finger up to her ear. "Some new information coming through now, it appears that-"

And the picture cut off, replaced by the channel's globe logo, spinning silently on a red and white background. Naruto couldn't move. He couldn't think.

This can't be true. Not his brother.

A sudden hand on his shoulder made Naruto jump, breaking out of his shock: Iruka stood behind him, face flushed, looking out of breath. "Naruto! Have you seen Sasuke? He ran out of the headmaster's office, and…" He paused, glancing up at the TV.

"Sasuke's gone?" Naruto asked sharply, mind slamming into overdrive: if Sasuke wasn't here, then… "I haven't seen him." Naruto said quickly, eyes flickering to the silent screen and back.

Iruka cursed under his breath, spinning away to confer with another teacher.

If Sasuke's not here, he'll have gone to confront Itachi himself.

Sakura stood next to him, wide eyes glued to the screen. Naruto hesitated, but bit the bullet. He couldn't afford to be scared now. "I'm going to find him, Sakura. If what they're saying is true… he needs help."

He turned to leave but Sakura grabbed his arm, a surprisingly strong death grip. "Bring him back safe, Naruto." Where her eyes had showed fear was now determination. "Promise me."

Naruto paused, thrown for a second. Then he smiled as confidently and assuredly as possible. "Don't worry Sakura, I'm not gonna let him get hurt."

The smile faded as soon as he left the building.

I wish I could believe that.

He ran out into the heavy sheets of rain, the cold hitting him hard. He hadn't taken his jacket, but there was no time to go back: flipping the orange hoodie over his head, he sprinted hard into the howling wind. He'd never before run as hard or fast. The streets flew by, people and cars ignored, the world narrowed to one objective.

Find Sasuke.

He eventually reached Sasuke's flat, almost barrelling past as he attempted to slow down. Out of breath, his hood blown down so many times he'd stopped bothering with it, the wind and rain lashing hard at his back, he'd finally got there.

It's gonna be okay. We've had some close calls before, but it's always been okay. He's gonna be fine.

Naruto frantically slammed all of the buzzers, hoping someone would let him in. No questions asked, a kind or indifferent soul opened the door for him. Taking the stairs three at a time, he got closer and closer.

He'll be okay. He's gonna be okay.

The plain white door suddenly loomed in front of him. A simple silver nameplate read 'Uchiha' in a neat script. It was ajar, soft light spilling from within. Panting, he slowly pushed it open. And…

(╯'□')╯︵ ┻━┻

Naruto jolted up from the stop's bench, hailing the incoming bus just in time. He didn't care to relive the rest of that memory.

As he sat down and the bus slowly gained speed, he went over exactly what had happened for the thousandth time. The more he'd thought about it, the stranger it seemed. If Itachi was a wanted criminal, how did Sasuke manage to get to him before the police did? Surely the flat was the first place they'd look? But they hadn't arrived until after both Sasuke and Itachi had left…

And then there was the news broadcast: why would the police let a supposed criminal like Itachi know they were coming for him? It had obviously been pulled at the last second as well, cutting the anchor off mid-sentence. He wasn't sure what it all meant, and thinking about it all made his head hurt.

Naruto had always thought there was more to the story than he knew. But now there was one question answered. Did Itachi really kill his parents and torch their childhood home?

Apparently he had.