Hello friends! Thanks for response to last chapter. Those flashbacks were fun to write, as well as today's. Mix of a chapter today but I added it in almost solely inspired by requests from theypreferthetermpeople who wanted some Mariana/Kasey and also in general wanted more Stef/Lena so I expanded an existing scene I had for them out. As I was trying to fill out the chapter, I remembered something RL13436 commented on back in Black Widow and wanting to see more of Kasey/Lena as Kasey adjusted to having her as a new parent. As young Kasey flashbacks seem to go so well, adding this was incredibly easy. Anyhow, that's enough from me on that but thanks to everyone who requests pairings. It really does give me great inspiration.

By the way, I posted a new one shot yesterday called "Secrets brought to light". It's basically Stef yelling at Brandon for all the crap he's put us through which I felt a little robbed of in the finale. Do check it out and feel free to join in the ranting if you so desire :)

OK - here we go. As always your reviews mean a heck of a lot so please leave one if you have time :) Enjoy!

[Stef's trip flashback continued]

"Lenaaaaaaaa!"

Brandon's squeal reverberated through the house as Lena paused her conversation with Stef with a sigh. Luckily Kasey had just been sulking for most of the day but apparently she'd now turned her attentions to winding up Brandon.

"Honey, I better go. Sounds like the kids need me."

"What? What's happening?"

"I'm sure it's nothing - I'll sort it."

"If this is Kasey still acting up I'm gonna strangle her when I get back. Putting you through this." Stef threatened.

"Honey, she's just testing the boundaries with me. They're just kids being kids."

"Yeah well my kids don't get to use that as an excuse."

Lena chuckled to herself, Stef's no-nonsense approach was a lot firmer in principal down the phone than when she had the little ones in front of her, even though she did have that commanding presence.

"I'll sort it, I'll speak to you later."

"Lena - make sure..."

"Love you." Lena cut her off shaking her head. She wasnt sure who was struggling with the distance more, Stef or the kids.

She got up the stairs to find Kasey darting through to another room and quickly sprung to catch her. No wonder Stef had to be so quick. Luckily, she was light even with the struggling.

"What is -"

Lena couldn't finish her sentence before Brandon came running out and both kids began tattling off exasperated prosecution and defence cases both at once.

"Woah-kay! Enough!" she silenced them both. Brandon clicking his teeth shut with a glare at Kasey and Kasey folding her arms squarely, her lip pouting out.

"One at a time."

Seeing Brandon swapping his weight from foot to foot, bursting to have his say, she decided to relieve him first in case he popped.

"Brandon - what happened?"

He put his arm out pointing firmly at his sister.

"Kasey took my keyboard and put it up on Mommy's closet!"

"Did not!"

"Yes you did I saw you!"

"Both of you - quiet." Lena ordered, her teacher mode voice on. Once again, both obliged.

"Kasey, is what Brandon's saying true?"

"If I can get it up there then why can't he get it down?" she challenged scathingly.

"Because we're not supposed to climb up there but you do it anyway!" Brandon whimpered.

Lena tried to process the information, firmly stuck more on Kasey climbing than anything about the keyboard.

"Kasey did you climb up on our closet?"

Kasey shrugged, diverting her eyes away.

"Well then how did it get up there!" Brandon scowled, getting more flustered by the minute.

"OK..." Lena put her arms around Brandon to try and calm him. "Honey we'll get it down." she could feel his heart pulsing. He had been inseparable from the keyboard and knew this must be feeling more like losing a hand.

"Kasey." Lena asked sternly. "I'm going to give you one more chance to defend yourself."

"Why should I? He never puts that damn thing away anyway! I just want some peace for five minutes!"

The apparent admission of guilt was one thing but the damn was another.

"We're not allowed to say that word, Kasey!" Brandon replied accusingly, Lena rolling her eyes. Having him there really wasn't helping matters.

"Brandon, sweetheart, why don't you go downstairs and help me make dinner. I think your sister needs some time to think about what she did wrong." Lena was doing her best to stay as calm and collected as she would be observing the situation, but she too had less control when facing it head on.

"No." Kasey replied firmly, her eyes fixed to the floor. The response didn't come as a shock to Lena, everything was pointing towards it, but Brandon's eyes widened in fear. They'd never pushed Lena before at home but he knew she could be quite scary at school.

"Kasey, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. Time out. Room, now."

"No!" she replied even more firmly, no hint of hesitation in her eyes.

"Kasey..." Brandon whispered. "Mommy's gonna be really mad if you don't do what Lena says!" he warned her with a whisper, apparently much more scared by the potential consequences than his sister.

"Mommy's not here and she's not our Mom!" Kasey replied sharply. Lena's heart sunk, even though she knew it was an obvious reaction. They hadn't begun to refer to her as their mom yet, they had only recently moved in and that didn't want too much as once, but she still hoped they were getting closer to it. Swallowing down her sensitivity, she kept her arms tight around Brandon trying to think of the words to say.

She felt a small buzz in her pocket. God bless Stef's persistance.

"You know, Kasey, your Mommy may not be here but she always knows what's going on." Usually trying to trick the kids into behaving was a no-no in Lena's book, but this wasn't school and as this was a transitional period she was game for using tricks Stef more likely would.

"Don't be stupid! Mommy can't know what's going on!" she scowled. Lena was able to ignore the comment knowing what was about to come.

"Oh yeah?" Lena challenged. "Then how do you explain this?" she held her phone up to Kasey, Stef's name glowing bright.

Even Kasey looked taken aback, but nowhere near the look of horror on Brandon's face. Stef really was omnipresent.

He gawped as Lena raised an eyebrow. "Kasey, you're in so much trouble!" he fidgetted, more in solidarity than smugness.

"I thought you might call...I warned them you knew what was happening." Lena answered, hoping Stef would get the hint. Luckily she did even though she began with a sigh.

"You lead, I'll play along." She whispered, Lena looking down at the two confused children.

"I was wondering that too, but Brandon seems to think she climbed up the closet to get the damn keyboard up there."

"You're lying! She only knows 'cus you just told her!" Kasey accused, Lena knew she was unlikely to fall for it but she hoped it may on some level make her feel like Stef was still engaged even though she wasn't physically.

"You think I'm lying?" Lena asked, covering the mouthpiece and looking down with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm going to come home Lena, this is ridiculous." Stef whispered.

"No, no. I don't think that's a good idea. I'm sure she wouldn't not be happy about that." Lena responded, still using an exaggerated tone but talking fast hoping the double negative would throw off the kids.

"You think she's doing it to get me back home?"

"I think she'd love to talk to you. After all she keeps refusing to listen to me."

Stef sighed again. She wanted to talk to Lena properly but saw that would be impossible until this crease was ironed out.

"OK, put her on but then we have to talk."

Kasey stepped back slightly as Lena held the phone out.

She looked at it dauntingly, chewing on her lip. Brandon squirmed in his own nervousness. Lena was pulling out the big guns.

She took a deep breath and grabbed the phone.

"But Mommy, Brandon - " she immediately launched into her defence before Stef had a chance to talk. She was quickly cut off however by the sharp tone at the other end.

"Nuh-uh, young lady. I don't care what Brandon did or didn't do - I've told you a hundred times not to climb on our closet and even more times not to pick on your brother, and now you're ignoring Lena too?"

Kasey didn't have a response, she wasn't even sure whether she wanted to not be in trouble - at least if she was Stef would come back...but then hearing he voice she wasn't sure if she wanted that either.

"Are you coming home?" She replied, keeping it ambiguous as to whether that was her desire or not.

Stef heard the words and thought about what Lena had said. She was probably right, maybe this was all a ploy - but that didn't make her want to deal with it in person any less. Kasey, however, didn't need to know that yet.

"When I do come home you are not going to be happy about it, I promise you that." Stef warned her, just as keen on maintaining ambiguity. "Now listen, Lena is a parent in our house and I don't care whether I'm there or not, you respect her and what she tells you to do. If you don't, you are going to be in serious, serious trouble, young lady." She threatened. Kasey was silent taking it in. "Now I want you to go to your room and you stay there until you're ready to behave. I mean it. No more funny business. We'll talk about this more when I do get home. Right now, if I were you, I'd be wanting that to be as long away as possible so you have time to make up for this attitude."

Kasey heard the words and swayed on her feet. She couldn't defy her Mom, even if this did bring her home, she would be in so much trouble and this was already different. Would the consequences be different from usual? It had been risky. She chewed even more desperately on her lip. To both Lena and Stef's surprise the next words that came out of her mouth weren't a complaint or a protest, even if they did sound disgruntled and hesitant.

"I love you." She grumbled, nervous to hear what would come from the other end. At first there was only silence as Stef tried to take it in. Her little girl really was missing her and she was missing her too, the good the bad and the ugly.

"I love you too, baby." She finally responded, trying desperately to remember the point of this call. "But please, behave." She pleaded, re-focussing.

Kasey swayed again with a frustrated huff before throwing the phone into Lena's hand, casting off into her room and slamming the door.

Lena took the phone to her shoulder and ran her fingers through Brandon's hair. "Sweetheart, why don't you go wait in your bedroom and I'll bring your keyboard back when I've finished talking to Mommy." The small boy nodded, though still looking at Kasey's door. As soon as he was gone Lena took the phone into her room.

"Thank you, I don't think I'm exactly her favourite person right now."

"I'm coming home Lena, I can't stand the thought of her being like this. She's clearly not ready."

"Stef, that's exactly what she wants. She doesn't trust me enough yet to take my authority. She doesn't see me as a Mom yet." She knew it was logical but it still was hard to say. "I guess we've never seen her in this situation without you being there as well. She needs this space to get there."

"But if I'm barking down the phone at her that's not happening anyway - " Stef argued.

"You've got her thinking, if she acts up again tonight I'll try it from a different approach. Honey, please - don't come home. She'll think she's got you at her command."

Stef mulled it over. Usually she would be the one insisting to be less coddling of the children, but something about this situation just made her want to be there more than ever.

"OK - but listen, don't let her be disrespectful. And if she is you know she doesn't mean it."

"I know, Stef. Don't worry." Lena replied softly. "Listen, try and enjoy your evening and I'll give you a call tonight."

They said their goodbyes and Lena sat down on her bed with a strong exhale. She had years of training, years of study and she could explain all the theory behind this till she was hoarse. It didn't stop part of her from fearing that these issues would never completely go away. Somewhere, tucked deep down she worried - would these kids ever see her as their Mom?

Lena sat by Stef's side, now just the two of them in the room. She looked deep into Stef's face, taking in every detail. On one hand she couldn't bear to see her rock so helpless and so fragile but on the other she couldn't take her eyes away, never wanting to let her out of her sight again.

"Brandon took the others home." she informed her silent partner. She thought back to the gaps between her and her children, left in the wake of the revelations the evening was throwing at them with so little time for her usual level of processing. So many lies. So much disconnection, and now - so much anger.

"I'm trying so hard to forgive them. I'm sorry I'm not doing a better job." she held back a tear, her hands trembling in the absence of where Stef would usually have grabbed them.

She was needing that touch. That support. That soft caress which transferred the strength she needed to pull her through anything.

She wiped a tear from her cheek as it escaped.

"I can't do this alone, Stef. I'm trying so hard but I need you by my side. The kids need both of us."

She breathed deeply, gripping her hands together as a pathetic substitute. She knew Kasey's comments were flippant but they had rattled her. Those long-buried fears re-surfaced. Would she be able to maintain her authority without Stef there as their unit? Would she be able to give them the love and guidance they needed alone?

"I feel like I've lost every skill I've ever learned. Every word I can think of to reassure them. They're gone. I've snapped at Brandon. I've fought with Kasey. I've alienated the twins. I couldn't even face explaining this to Jude and I've barely spared a thought for Callie. They need me more than anything right now and I've not been able to be there for them...how can that happen?"

Silence.

She wiped another tear.

"It's not your fault, love." Stef would be saying. "They will understand." "You're going through just as tough a time, they have each other." All of the phrases she could predict as sure as she was lying in front of her, but that wasn't the same. That wasn't the crutch she needed. She needed the real thing.

"I need you back, sweetheart." she leaned over closer and stroked Stef's hair to the smallest of flinches.

"I can't do this alone." her voice broke into a whisper as she closed her eyes.

"Ms Adams." Dr Alvercott leaned into the room. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave now. You'll be able to see her again tomorrow morning."

Lena turned with a sniff and nodded.

The doctor smiled and moved away to let her say goodbye in private.

She stood up and kissed Stef's head strongly.

"I'm gonna be just outside." she whispered. "It feels like the furthest I've slept from you in forever."

She brushed her hair back one more time and walked away with an "I love you", bittersweet in regretting not having said it when she had the chance before she left that night.

She tried to switch her mind to other tasks at hand. She hoped the kids had got back OK and although she was still raw from the words that had been exchanged with all of them, it didn't dampen her feeling of duty. She texted a quick reminder to Kasey about her wound and left the hallway to return to the seating area.

She rested her head back, looking to the tiles above. She thought of their babies and their family, closing her eyes with a prayer. Whether she believed anyone was listening or not, right now she would do anything for even the vaguest flicker of hope their lives would return to normality. After a little while of nothing but numbness and pain, she felt the buzz in her pocket and Kasey's text came through.

"Home safe and all bandaged up. Jesus helped. Think Callie is looking after Mariana and Brandon's getting you some clothes. Try and get some sleep. Love you, Mama. x"

She felt a small tear roll down her face. She knew these fears were unfounded, but it didn't stop her from feeling her strength was all on the other side of that wall.

Kasey finally left her contemplation in the bathroom and found herself heading to her old room. She could see both Callie and Mariana on the floor, Callie looking up to notice her in the doorway. She stood up with a smile to leave the two sisters together.

Once Mariana saw her, she kept her eyes firmly fixed to the box. She wasn't sure what she could face right now so continued her task, completely missing Kasey carefully sit cross legged next to her.

There was a few moments of silence and quiet sniffs until Kasey finally broke the silence. Her voice wasn't angry or sad, more just emotionally drained.

"I've always thought you could get away with everything. Moms are always way softer." she added. Her words may have been threatening were they not so slow and quaint.

"All you ever had to do was flash those eyes and that smile..." Kasey looked over affectionately.

"You're such a Brandon." she chuckled, finally receiving Mariana's gaze at the unexpectedness of the comment.

"I mean, being the baby of the family helps. Well, until Jude came, I guess."

Mariana twitched a hand across her eye, unsure where this was heading.

"But I gotta tell you," Kasey softly shook her head. "You got the roughest deal of all of us tonight." she looked over, deep into her little sister's eyes, seeing them well up again.

Kasey delicately pulled her under her arm into a tight side hug.

"It'll be OK, you know." she assured her as Mariana's sniffling escalated. "I have no idea how yet but it will. For all of us."

A few more minutes of silence followed until Mariana spoke up, her voice still breaking and vulnerable.

"How are you not mad at me?" she whimpered. "Brandon..."

"Since when have I ever agreed with Brandon?" Kasey scoffed as she heard the vague whisper of a laugh through the tears. She looked down a moment longer and began to flick at her nails with her thumb with her free hand.

"Look Mariana, I'm not gonna pretend I'm not pissed. Especially about the pills and Jesus covering and all that crap. I mean, that was...so not OK." she heard another sniff as the information was relayed. It was never far from Mariana's mind but it certainly came crashing back hard when it did.

"But I think we all have stuff to be angry about tonight and to be honest...I don't think I have the energy for any more today."

Mariana grabbed her arms around Kasey's waist, finally returning the embrace. She bent down to kiss her little sister's head, studying the boxes before them.

"I thought I was the only person who purged stuff when I was feeling like crap." She picked out a couple of books before catching a glimpse of a small rubber snake hidden underneath.

"Oh my God..." Kasey laughed. "I thought Moms threw this out after we...you know." she pulled it out, examining it carefully along with the memory. Mariana sat up to see closer what it was she was looking at. She too smiled with the memory.

"Wow, Mom was so mad at you." Mariana smiled, wiping a tear. "I don't think I'd seen her that mad yet. Didn't she make you sleep in the corner with her or something so she could hang onto you?"

"Yeah, well I don't think she was ecstatic about us ruining their escape attempt. Not helped by you screaming the house down 'cause you thought they'd abandoned us."

"Hey, I was fast asleep until Brandon's yell woke me up. I was disorientated." she defended herself with a familiar pout, prompting a nudge from Kasey who admired the small toy.

"I thought it was Jesus' idea anyway, how come you got in so much trouble?"

"I took one for the team. I didn't think you were ready for him to be in trouble yet." she replied with a smug smile, pausing to lock gaze once again before another affectionate nudge.

[Sleepover Flashback continued]

"OK, so little twins on the couch, big twins on the floor."

"What about you and Mom?" Brandon asked sitting up against the sofa side.

"We will be right down here on the floor next to you."

"Until you're all asleep and we sneak upstairs." Stef added under her breath as Lena pinched her thigh.

"OK, so everyone settle down..." she quickly changed the subject.

"Hey can we tell ghost stories?" Jesus asked excited.

"Uhm...no." Lena added with a warning look to Stef, clearly about to give a different response by the glint in her eye.

"Brandon gets too scared." Kasey teased as Brandon thwacked her with a pillow. Stef cleared her throat with a familiar glare and the small girl bit down on her lips, Brandon settling back down to his own position.

"But we can tell other kinds of stories..." Lena broke into an exciting fantasy tale as the kids all settled down. There was soon the faint sound of slumbering whispering through the air as Stef and Lena cuddled together.

"I think that's all of them off." Stef whispered with a kiss.

"That story always works." she whispered back smugly as Stef giggled.

"Does that mean we can..."

"Please God yes, my back is killing me." The two women helped each other off the floor trying hard to balance making no noise with the laughter as they inevitably made noise. They snuck out, tiptoeing through the sleeping bodies and quietly headed upstairs.

As they cuddled into bed they thought about their evening.

"I think the kids are really bonding. Seeing Mariana join in...Jesus as eager as the other two."

"Jesus has always been eager." Stef chuckled fondly. "Mariana just usually has him on a very tight leash."

"It's so good to see our two play with them as well, take them under their wing." Lena shimmied closer under her arm.

"You know, I know it's early to think about...but have you considered...you know..."

"Adoption?" Stef smiled looking down at her partner's questioning eyes. "Every day - even though it's not been long."

"I don't think it'll be an easy road though. Nothing about their situation has ever been easy. I don't want to ask them any big questions before they're ready.

"I agree, let's let them settle a little more and then see how it stands." she hugged her in tighter. "But if it were up to me I'd take them tomorrow."

Lena looked up to her partner with a loving smile as Stef drunk in the softness of her gaze.

She closed her eyes and bent down to kiss her, Lena slipping her hand up to Stef's neck. She climbed higher up the bed before they were interrupted by Brandon's blood curdling yell.

"Snaaaaaaaakkkkkkeeeee!"

Both women closed their eyes and pulled themselves apart in defeat.

"Those two however.." Stef mused. "Can we swap one set for the other?" she whispered as the commotion grew downstairs and they hopped out of bed to deal with the fallout.

Kasey lay awake on the living room floor, all of her siblings around her. She had dozed for all of an hour, maybe two. They had all agreed to camp down there that night, especially after Jude had snuck home because he didn't want to be alone. In reality none of them did. For most of them, it had been the most emotional day of their lives and their time after getting home had brought them all together in one way or another.

The feeling of not wanting to be alone was preying on her mind as well as the other events of the day. There were two very distinctive people missing from their impromptu camp out and both of them alone, separately in the hospital. She thought about that night, Stef clasping her until she was off to sleep and not letting her go to avoid her causing any more trouble. At the time she may have resented it, but right now she would give anything to feel that again. It made her think of Lena too. If she was missing Stef's touch, it must be torture for her Mom. Sat, alone, not sharing a bed with her for the first time in forever.

Unable to stand her thought carousel any longer she climbed out of her sleeping bag and quietly crept out of the room.

Right now she had somewhere else to be.

Next Chapter Preview: Kasey addresses some of her difficulties with help from Callie and through reaching out to Lena.

"Kasey." She mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "How long have you been sat there? What time is it?" She readjusted her vision but tried to snap awake.

"About the time it takes for a coffee to get cold." She handed her the redundant cup, twitching her empty one on her knee. Lena breathed through her nose with a lazy smile.

"I think it's about seven. I left about sixish."