chapter 3! The next chapter will be the last. Hope you all like it and please review!
Sleep was threatening to wash over her, her eyelids heavy and slightly puffy from the crying. It was so tempting to giver herself over, to fall asleep. She wanted to, her body and mind tired from the previous sleepless nights, yet she didn't dare to close her eyes, knowing what was coming. The thing about nightmares was that, even when based on a real event, they were like remakes of a film. You knew what was going to happen, yet every one of them was a little different. Some moments time was sped up, while others slowed down. Sometimes whole scenes were cut or changed, making it impossible for her to anticipate them. Unlike her life, which was regulated by rules and routines, these dreams were inspired by her deepest fears, which made them dangerous and unpredictable.
"No!" She stood up without hesitating, turning the heads of the black-clad figures in the room.
"Shut your mouth, you bitch!"
The one closest to her spat in a heavy accent she didn't quite recognise. She merely looked at him, ready to stand her ground. She would have, if their staring contest hadn't been cut short by the interference of another man. Out of nowhere he appeared in front of her, his finger lightly stroking her jaw.
"Such a pretty little thing."
Suddenly the room darkened as she felt her back collide with a wall. She couldn't see anything, but she felt his hands and mouth all over her body. She gasped in pain as his teeth sank into the delicate skin on the juncture of her neck and shoulder.
"Come, come, stand still. We had a deal remember?"
Rusty felt awful, he was struggling with his thoughts. "I did too." What had Sharon, no, he corrected himself, the captain meant by that? He tossed and turned while trying to sleep, giving up in the end. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he felt bad for saying all those horrible things to her. He couldn't take it anymore, just lying in bed was only making him feel worse. He looked at the clock, the big red numbers telling him it was 03:12. He realised that the captain was probably sleeping again and the last thing he wanted was to wake her up. Yet, the urge to apologise did not leave him alone. Maybe he could just knock softly on her door, take a peek. As quietly as he could he walked over to her room, part of him still unsure whether to continue. His knocking didn't get a response and for a moment he contemplated opening the door, but quickly decided against it. Feeling strangely disappointed, he started tiptoeing back to his own room when he suddenly heard a noise. It was quiet, but it still stopped him in his tracks.
"Captain?"
He half whispered when he was back at her door. No answer, but after a few seconds he heard the same muffled sound.
"Captain?" He tried again, louder this time. "Sharon? You alright?"
When he still didn't get a response, he carefully opened the door. She was sleeping, but it was anything but peaceful. Rusty could see little beads of sweat forming on her forehead, her breathing was alarmingly fast and her body was twisted in an uncomfortable looking position. Quickly he made it over to her bed, lightly shaking her shoulders.
"Sharon, wake up, it's just a dream."
Her eyes flew open, a look of terror so clearly written on her face that it terrified him. For a split second Sharon stayed completely still before scooting away from him as quickly as possible. Only when her back collided painfully with her wooden headboard, she seemed to realise where she was.
"Rusty! You frightened me."
It did not escape him that she was desperately clinging to her covers, but with a relieve he noted that her expression was calm. He braced himself, he knew he was gonna have to one way or another and the quicker It was over with, the better.
"Captain, I mean Sharon, I mean.."
Just apologise.
"What did you mean earlier, when you said…."
No! No, that wasn't what he wanted to say. Well it was kinda, but that wasn't why he came here.
"You said you did too."
It was the first time he witnessed her face falling. Her usually neutral expression changed almost unnoticeably for the shortest of moments, but he saw it and in that moment he understood. He understood that the captain who always kept her cool, maybe wasn't so different from him. He too maintained an exterior that functioned almost like a shield. Where he masked his weaknesses, his disappointments, by shouting at the world, she did by not showing a reaction at all.
"Rusty, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that, it was a mistake. You've got enough to worry about already and I am truly so-"
"Wait! It should be me saying sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said."
He interrupted, hanging his head low. He genuinely felt bad, a feeling that confused him more than everything else. He didn't like her, so why feel sorry for hurting her feelings? The moment his mother abandoned him at the zoo, or maybe even before that, he'd learned that the only one he could truly trust, was himself. He didn't form attachments, didn't become dependent, didn't feel sorry for anyone, because they wouldn't feel sorry for him either.
"a little over two years ago, I walked into a hostage."
The soft sound of her voice pulled him out of his deep thoughts. It took a while for her words to register, when they did, however, it didn't seem to make any sense. He was in the middle of apologising, so why the sudden change of topic? His confusion must have been apparent, because she looked at him slightly amused. Soon though, the light in her eyes seemed to fade.
"you wanted to know what I meant"