Chapter 15

I went to bed fairly early last night. Early at least compared to everyone else. Which then caused me to wake up hours before everyone else. A good thing, I decided, as I had not spoken to Bianca since the dare, and she had not spoken to me. In fact she had even gone so far as to avoid me. I figured she thought I was angry with her, which I actually wasn't. I was as surprised by this fact as anyone else.

I had woken up after a good night's sleep by the sun shining directly on my face. I had got up to close them, longing to be outside in the cold and crispy morning sun.

And here I was, not finding it in myself to care enough to be upset. We had won our first game of the year last night, and my first game during the course of my captaincy. I wasn't going to spend the next day being angry with anyone, not even Oliver. Although I didn't have a reason to be angry with him I realised then, it was a funny feeling.

I got dressed as quick as I could so as to not risk having a conversation with one of my dorm mates should they wake up. Again, I wasn't angry with Bianca. But there was a conversation that needed to be had, one I'd rather put off for as long as I could.

So I did. I dressed warmly, something which I didn't do often. My body was usually pretty good at keeping warm, either that or I accepted the cold. But it was almost December and I wanted to be outside for as long as I could.

When I stepped out on the grounds after breakfast the sun had yet to catch all of the frost and the grass still glimmered beautifully. The frost combined with the lack of students on the grounds made everything quieter. It was a still day, void of so much as a breeze.

I walked alongside the Great Lake while making sure I avoided the Dementors. I didn't know how to cast a patronus charm and thought it best to avoid giving them any reason to bother me. I sat down and let the sun warm my face. I let myself smile for a while. To give myself a reason for staying outside in the nice weather I picked a book out of my bag and read for as long as I could until my fingers were aching from the cold.

Once I stepped inside the castle again I wanted to go sit by Moaning Myrtle's bathroom to see if Graham would possibly pass by. But I thought it best to avoid my usual places at the risk of Bianca or the others passing by. I finally decided on settling for a secluded place in the library. Chances were neither of them wouldn't be in the right mind-set to go to the library today, and would instead spend most of the day in our dormitory and suffering the aftereffects of the party. Knowing them they probably wouldn't even bother to go into the common room.

There I sat for the remainder of the day, reading, studying and having a chat with a semi-acquaintance or two. When it was time for dinner I was starving. But instead of going down to The Great Hall I went down to the kitchens in a manoeuvre to further avoid my friends. I knew a decent house elf down there named Elly who would provide some food for me if I asked kindly. I then retrieved back to my bed for the day, making sure to close the curtains around my bed this time and I fell asleep shortly, having safely managed to avoid uncomfortable conversations.

That was until the next day.

On Monday I also woke up earlier than my friends. I always did, only in this instance I didn't bother waking them. Instead, I headed down for breakfast alone. When I entered the hall I walked straight toward the Slytherin table with a clear objective in mind. As luck would have it, Graham and his friends were already sitting there. I made people move so that I could slump down next to Graham. The table of food before me looked especially delicious after the lack of nutrition I had had the day prior, causing me to disregard my current mission until further notice. I hurled up food on my plate, ignoring the looks I got.

"Uh, Willow?" Graham asked as kindly as he could.

"Yes." I propped my mouth with food, the walk to The Great Hall had really set my digestive system in motion and I needed food now.

"You're acting strange." He told me.

"I know!" I tried to say with a mouth full of food. "I needed to talk to you but I also have barely had anything to eat in the past day."

"Okay. I understand."

We sat quietly while I awkwardly ate my food.

I turned to Graham and said anxiously, "I'm sorry Graham."

"About what?" He asked.

"I don't know." I answered. I wasn't sure how I would put this. Which is why I had rushed up to him like this, I didn't want to think about it. I wanted it over with, didn't want the situation to seethe in my mind for any longer than it already had. "I guess I just feel bad about kissing you."

"It's not your fault that you kissed me, Willow. You had to. Or at least if you want to follow the rules of that ridiculous game." Graham said casually while taking spoons of his oatmeal.

"I know, but…" I started, still sounding apologetic. "It's more about the way I kissed you…" I treaded. "I worry people might think we're together." I said quietly. I knew that there had been a lot of people at the party, students from every house had been there and not many of them were aware that there was a game going on. In fact, I do believe I had noticed some conspicuous staring since I had sat down next to my dear friend.

"Not that I'm complaining, because I… loved it!" Graham began and I punched his arm before immediately regretting doing so as the average onlooker might interpret it as flirting. "But if you didn't want people to think we're a thing then maybe you shouldn't have made such a show of kissing me." He continued, trying to be as delicate as he could, for once in his life.

"It was a pretty good kiss." Edwin said encouragingly. Graham's friends had so far remained quiet since I had sat down. Now he was smiling kindly at me. The more I hung out with Edwin, the more I enjoyed his company. He was sweet and always seemed happy. He wasn't the know-it-all I had previously gotten the impression he was. I then recalled some time ago when Graham had explained this phenomenon to me:

"You might get that impression if you see him in potions class. He turns into a different person. Suddenly he doesn't care about anyone or anything but his grade and what angle you should hold the ladle with stirring." He had explained to me while a rolling his eyes. "'The boomslang skin won't properly melt otherwise!'" he had quoted Edwin with a demeaning tone.

Graham took a bite of his toast while exchanging looks with Edwin. "It was hot." Graham agreed.

Completely weirded-out I gave Graham a look, "Don't say that." I commanded.

"It was!" He argued. "You really went for it. I wouldn't mind doing it again honestly!"

"Oh Merlin! Graham, shut up! People will think we're together if you shout stuff like that!" Putting aside how odd it felt to have him say such a thing, seeing him be as comfortable talking about it in such a way did take the edge off the whole situation.

Graham laughed, "I wasn't shouting." He corrected me.

"And I think people already do think you're together." Quentin said in his usual sardonic voice that annoyed me greatly. He however, had not grown on me in the same way Edwin had.

"Okay! Guys! I know it was stupid. Sometimes I just feel like I need to prove myself, okay?" I defended myself.

"What do you mean?" Graham asked, realising that I was expressing serious emotion.

"I mean… I need to prove that I can still be fun without the drinks." I said with a hint of insecurity playing on my voice.

"Oh." Gone was Graham's previously playful behaviour, replaced instead with comprehension.

"Anyway. I just want you to know that I didn't really want to put you in a position you weren't comfortable with. Sometimes I feel pressured. And that sucks. But it's fine." I trailed off. "Anyway, I think you understand what I'm saying." I smiled at Graham while his friends sat quiet, not having been prepared for the serious turn this conversation had taken.

Graham smiled back. "Willow, it's really Bianca who put us in that situation. It's not on you. Or actually, it's on both of us for joining the game to begin with, we both knew it wasn't going to be pretty." He laughed.

"Yeah, we really put our names in the Goblet of Fire with that one." I laughed.

With a hug goodbye to Graham and a see off to his mates I made my way to the greenhouses for Herbology. Knowing my friends would without a doubt be there formed a knot in my stomach.

"Good morning Pomona." I greeted the professor upon entering greenhouse six carrying Goshawk's Guide to Herbology, which was quite the struggle as it's not known to be a small book.

"Good morning, Willow!" Pomona replied chirpily. Most of my Hufflepuff friends and I were on first name basis with Pomona. It was unavoidable as she was the friendliest of all the teachers in my opinion and she would typically hang out with us in our common room. She would swing by with a plant or two in her hand, telling us about them. The whole common room was beautifully decorated with funny plants she'd brought. Us students would take care of them for her. Thankfully, she never brought anything with all that convoluted instructions.

"Why on earth are you carrying that book? You're going to hurt your back walking like that all day!" Pomona cried at me and took the book from me.

"It doesn't fit in my bag." I explained.

Pomona gave me a displeased scorn. She waved her wand toward my bag. "There you go." She said righteously with her hands on her hips.

I had a look inside my now much roomier bag that hung from my shoulder. "An undetectable extension charm!" I called gleefully. "Thanks!"

"I can't have my students breaking their backs transporting books over these foolish distances." She muttered while motioning toward the general area of the castle. Eventually she realised I would still need the book for this class and she grudgingly handed it back to me.

"Get on with your work now, pip-pip." Pomona was eager for us to continue our work. All students were currently working independently on a project. We were each growing our own walking plant. Some of the plants, mine excluded, had already begun walking and Pomona was constantly on us not to let them escape the greenhouse as they would not survive the cold for very long. This task was not as easy as one could imagine. They were small and tricky little bastards. If you didn't keep your eye on it for a second, it would wander off and try to get a window open.

I carried my book as best I could over to the dreaded group of people. My friends had already been eyeing me when I turned away from Pomona. I now had no option but to finally face them. The break yesterday had been appreciated, but it hadn't done much to soothe out any supposed hostility.

I placed the book next to my sad excuse for a plant while the others pretended to be tending to theirs.

"Hi Will." PJ said. Trying and failing to sound like nothing had happened.

"Hello, PJ." I said while staring at my plant, it was more of a stump actually. I realised I should probably look at them if I wanted to make amends, so I beheld them and smiled. "Hi guys."

Bianca was studying me with uncertainty. To my unease she took hold of her plant, went up and placed it next to mine. I mentally begged Merlin she wouldn't make a bigger deal out of this than I already had. I begged she wouldn't cause a scene in the greenhouse, in front of all the other students, in front of Pomona. But I saw only apprehension in her features.

"Are you angry with me?" She asked anxiously. "You were gone all day yesterday."

Both Bianca and the others looked concerned to say the least. There was no annoyance or resentment whatsoever. Only worry. I suddenly felt quite bad about not having spoken to them for all this time. Their trepidation warmed my heart.

"No, not really." was all I could muster at this point. I felt a bit shameful.

There was a collective sigh of relief among the group. Bianca spoke first. "Okay good. It was stupid of me to put you in that situation. You know how I can be…" She trailed of, not wanting to be too specific and bring up painful memories.

"We're just so happy you're not angry." Wright said relieved, and PJ agreed.

"So, are you and Graham together now?" Bianca asked eagerly. She really titillandus-ed that draco dormiens with that sentence.

I shot her a glare before I could stop myself. "When will you get it in your head Bianca? We're not in love!" I said exasperatedly. I was fuming inside, nearly ripped out the pages of my book as I speedily turned them and had to mentally condole Goshawk.

Bianca furrowed her brows. "Really?"

"But why did you kiss him like that then?" PJ asked.

I stopped in my tracks and sighed moodily. "Because." I declared while staring at the plants above us that hung from the roof.

Everyone waited for me to continue but I was unsure of how. "I guess I just wanted to show you guys how I can still do wild things even though I'm not under the influence of anything."

They all seemed to understand what I meant.

Bianca placed her hand on my shoulder. "So you're not in love with Graham." She proclaimed. Indicating to me that she had understood my frustration and had accepted the fact.

To my relief, nothing else was said on the subject and we continued on with the lesson. Except for Wright, who admiringly added, "Just so you know, Will, there is no doubt in my mind that you're the craziest one of us."

But I still wasn't sure.

17 October 2018

A/N: Did you like/dislike anything about this chapter? Please let me know!