Thank you to everyone who has shown this story some love. I absolutely enjoy reading your reviews! This chapter will give you a peek into Elise's past, but not all of it will be revealed. That'll happen as the story progresses. I hope you like it, don't forget t review:)

"I can't do it anymore, my fingers have ceased up, they're cramping," I groaned, resting my head against my cool desk.

"Reid?"

"No," he quickly said.

My head shot up and I swiveled in my seat "I didn't even ask anything yet!" I exclaimed waving my arms at him; he wasn't even looking at me, just typing away.

"I'm not typing the rest of your report,"

"What? Why would you think I'd ask that?" I wondered getting up from my seat as he closed his book and looked up at me.

"You asked me last week,"

"Oh, did I?" I picked up his stapler and he snatched it out of my hand. I frowned, "Reid, not even one report?"

"Nope."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Morgan walk in from the kitchen carrying coffee. As he passed by I trailed behind him.

"Hey, Derek?"

"Hmm?" He sipped his coffee and sat down at his desk, "What can I do for you, sweet thang?" he flashed me his award winning smile and I laughed.

"You're never going to find a nickname to fit me, Derek. But...uh want to type the rest of my reports?"

"Let me call you sweet thang and I will," he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Let me call you eyebrows and I'll let you call me sweet thang," I smiled at him, walking back to my desk.

He gave me the most 'I'm so done with you' face ever and I giggled, "If I had known serial killers required so much paperwork I would not have joined."

"What, and not let me see your pretty face everyday?"

"Save it for Garcia, big guy," I huffed and got up.

"Your reports aren't going to wait," Morgan reminded me.

"I know, I'm getting coffee."

An hour and a half later I finally finished my reports and headed home. Hotch had told us that after a grueling two months of non-stop cases we were cleared for leave. I felt a bit guilty for getting excited about leave when I'd only been apart of the group for a few months, but Hotch insisted I earned it just like everyone else.

I had completed my training rather quickly, anxious to jump into things.

Every time I drive home I was always surprised at how quickly I end up parked outside my apartment. It's like I was on autopilot. Once inside I locked my door, put the chain on, and made my way to the kitchen.

I had just gone shopping so my fridge was stocked. I grabbed a bottle of water and went back into my living room, turned my tv on, and plopped down onto the couch. Starting next week on Monday was our leave.

Derek invited me to go with him and Elle to a resort in Jamaica that a friend of his owned. I declined; I did want to go, but it was an important week for me next week.

I fought the urge to get out the photo album and look at his photos. No, I didn't need to make myself upset.

Feeling tired I glanced at my watch. Could I get in a quick shower before I succumbed to my tiredness?

7:35 pm.

I could.

"Boy am I glad I ate dinner already," I muttered to myself as I ventured through the apartment stopping by my bedroom to grab my pjs. The shower worked the kinks out of my sore muscles from the combat training class I took earlier this week.

I rubbed my shoulder, stretched a bit and settled into bed.

The next morning I dressed nice, nicer than usual. I pulled my curls back and French braided my hair, weaving a worn yellow ribbon through the braid and did my makeup. My outfit was a black dress with long sleeves, a pale yellow cardigan and I placed my stilettos by the door.

It was the last day before our leave started, and at work everyone immediately realized I was in a rare state. I didn't try to be, I honestly didn't. I got my coffee like normal and made my way to my desk. My mind wondering if I was going to see him this year or if he would be a no-show like the last five years.

"Elise?"

Noises came back fast and sudden and I looked up to see Morgan. He was leaning against my desk, looking at me.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I gave my full attention; I forced a smile.

"Never mind what I said, are you alright?" His voice was filled with reasonable concern and his eyes searched my face.

I quickly glanced around noticing Elle and Reid had taken notice.

"I'm fine," a nervous chuckle escaped me.

"Now I know whenever a woman says she's fine that's never the case," We just looked at each other for a few seconds before he spoke, "I can tell you don't want to talk though. I'll change the subject."

We looked at each other and I frowned, "I thought you were changing the subject?"

"Oh, yeah I was, but yellow looks really good on you, I got distracted,"

I rolled my eyes, "Feeling flirtatious today, are we? Good thing the women of Jamaica will eat you up,"

"Oh, don't I know it," Derek laughed raising a brow, suddenly getting serious. "You're ok, though, right?"

"Yes, Derek. Go bother Reid or something, you're too excited about this trip that you're annoying me."

"Down girl, down. I'm just trying to help."

I don't know why him trying to help me was making me angry, but it was. I sighed and stood up from my desk walking past a confused Derek to go rummage through the fridge. I just needed to clear my mind. I didn't need for someone to ask me if I'm alright a million times when I'm not. This weekend was already going to be painful.

As I got a spoon and leaned against the counter eating my yogurt I saw Reid and Morgan talking by his desk. They both turned to me and I just threw my half eaten yogurt in the trash and walked out the bullpen and over to the elevator, smashing the down button, fighting back tears.

Behind me I heard footsteps.

"Derek can you just leave me alone?"

"He didn't send me," Elle said and I turned to face her.

"Sorry, I-"

"It's ok, you're upset, don't apologize to me. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but we're all hoping you're okay. It's weird seeing you so quiet, I'm not here to force out of you whatever it is that's gotten a hold of you, but I just want you to know I'm here to listen or talk,"

I smiled at Elle. "Thank you, I'm just-um, I-I don't mean to be rude, I really don't. I'm trying to prepare myself for this weekend. It's going to be a hard week that follows, so I'm just trying to prepare," I rambled, my fingers were beginning to tremble and my body was betraying me the more I thought of going to his grave. The more I thought of the day I lost him five years ago, the less control I had.

The elevator behind me dinged and I backed into it, wordlessly Elle looked at me like she understood. Her lips smiled and her eyes glinted with a hint of understanding as I watched her face slowly disappear behind the closed doors of the elevator.

I don't know what came over me because the second I exited the building my body was wracked with sobs and I quickly ran to my car. Inside I rested my head against the steering wheel. It had been so long since people have shown great concern for my well being. I tended to hide behind my sarcasm and knowledge.

Sobbing, I pulled down my visor to touch up my mascara. His photo was held to the visor with a yellow ribbon, like the one in my hair. I looked at the photo, taking in how happy I was. How big my smile was looking down at my little boy. I used to wear ribbons in my hair, young as I was I thought it was cute, and he had taken a liking to the yellow one, always pulling it out of my hair. I sewed one of the ribbons into his favorite overalls. I looked down at Theo, my baby boy, and remembered how happy I was the day the photo was taken. Jack had taken us to lunch in the park and Theo absolutely loved it.

I sighed and wiped away my tears, putting the photo back in it's place. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I saw a text from Elle. We were being dismissed in about ten minutes.

Come on, Elise, get ahold of yourself. I closed my eyes and calmed myself before I headed inside.

Morgan and Elle were laughing when I walked in; I must've looked confused because she saw me and waved me over.

"Did I miss the meeting?"

"Oh no, he just dismissed us, no meeting."

"No meeting? So unlike Hotch,"

"He's in a hurry like we all should be" Morgan said heading to the door "before they change their minds."

"We wouldn't want that!" I laughed. Morgan gave me a silent nod when our eyes locked and I nodded back. He then added a wink and I rolled me eyes, laughing.

"Have a great weekend!" Elle exclaimed as she hurried out the door saying something about how Morgan was walking too fast.

At my desk, I got a surprise.

Babies breath and white poppies were held together by a yellow ribbon. A card was addressed to me and I smiled looking around for Gideon. I found him standing at the entrance to the bullpen. He gave me a heartwarming smile before hiking his bag over his shoulder and heading out the door.

"What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us."

-Helen Keller