Kim was grateful for the darkness of the locked room. After her argument with Kayla, they had sat for a while. Then Kim had then gotten up, turned off the light, and returned to her plastic chair. She suspected that Kayla was grateful for the darkness, too. Neither of them could sleep, but they also did not want to look at one another any longer.
This is the only option.
In her heart, Kim knew this was the only way to save Kayla's life. As much as Kayla protested, it would be better for her to live with guilt over Kim's decision than to never see her family again. And Kayla would help take care of Andrew and Jeannie. She also would tell Shane the truth about Jeannie, and, after he finished berating himself for not figuring out the truth, he would give both children a good home.
There was still the matter of his arrest, but she suspected her decision would make his much easier. Her family or Neil, Andrew's godfather, would care for the children until Shane got out. Then he would move them to England permanently.
Kim thought about Andrew and Jeannie being raised as "proper" English lord and lady. The adjustment would probably be difficult for them at first, but Kim knew they would adjust. She also knew that they would be safer in England, an ocean away from Cal.
An ocean away from me.
Kim closed her eyes and tried to picture her children. Andrew with his soulful eyes and Jeannie with her brilliant smile. Would she ever see them again?
She then tried to picture the children as the young adults she would never know. Andrew would be almost the spitting image of his father, with the same intelligence and fearlessness as Shane. He would probably break all the records Shane had set at Eton - and break a lot of young girl's hearts along the way.
But Kim could also see the sadness and anger in that Andrew's eyes - the sadness at losing his mother and the anger at never knowing what happened to her. Would he blame Shane for not finding Kim? Would he blame Kim for leaving?
In her mind, she pictured older Jeannie as a princess. Shane would spend a lifetime regretting losing the past year of Jeannie's life and would feel obligated to make it up to her. She would look a lot like Kim; that was obvious already. But Jeannie would grow up different; she would be protected from the horrors Kim suffered. Shane would make sure of that. Jeannie would have a better, safer life.
Would he spoil her like Eve? Maybe a little, but Kim hoped Shane had learned something from their few years with Eve. Still, it was hard to predict. There would be a lot of similarities between Eve and Jeannie. Shane would probably be a non-entity in Jeannie's life until she was four; once again he would have missed a large part of his daughter's life.
So will you.
Kim tried to shut aside the realization that her daughter would have no parents for three of her first four years of life. And would never know her mother.
But at least she'll have a life.
Blinking back tears, Kim stood up from the plastic chair and walked to the tiny bathroom. She made no attempt to keep quiet; she knew Kayla was awake.
"Kimmie?"
Kim said nothing, turned on the faucet, and ran a little water,. She splashed it on her face, which would hide any tears. As she turned off the faucet, the light in the room flipped on. She started to turn to tell Kayla to go back to bed, but stopped short. Cal was standing in the bathroom doorway.
"Good morning, my darling," he said, smiling softly. "I hope you slept well."
It required a deep breath, but Kim forced a smile in response. "Perfectly," she lied. "What time is it?"
"6:15," Cal said. "Just a few minutes until we're off to parts unknown. Then it will just be you and me, my love."
Kim felt her stomach sink, even as she felt a wave of relief. "And Kay-"
"When we reach a secure location, I'll send an anonymous tip to the Salem PD so they know where to find her." Cal scowled. "I won't even wait a week."
Kim nodded, "Thank you, Cal."
He walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace. "Anything for you." He kissed her forehead. "I'm going to make you so happy, Kimberly." She felt him pressing against her as he whispered in her ear. "Tonight, my darling. Tonight will be special."
She swallowed hard and managed to plaster a vapid, loving expression on her face. How many times had she done that in Europe with her johns? Her job had been to make them feel like the most important and powerful men in the world. That's all Cal wanted, right?
"I can't wait," she breathed, running her fingers lightly over his forearm. "Is the plane ready?"
He smiled. "Just a few minutes. I filed the flight plan. When they do figure out where you were, the records will tell them we went to North Carolina. Of course, we won't be anywhere near there. I just have to check a few last things before we take off." He brushed her cheek with his index finger. "There's breakfast on the desk. Why don't you eat while I finish getting the plane ready? We'll be in the air before you know it."
Turning, Cal walked back through the room. He ignored Kayla, opened the door, looked back at Kim, and blew her a kiss. "Just a few more minutes, darling, and we can begin our new life together."
After he closed the door and she heard the telltale key turning in the latch, Kim walked back into the room. She took one look at Kayla and shook her head.
It did not deter her sister. "Don't do this, Kimmie. Tell him you changed your mind."
"We've been over this, Kay," Kim said. The decision's made. "Please . . . just remember what you promised."
Kayla looked down at the floor and nodded, but then she said, "And if Shane won't listen to me?"
He would have no choice. Kim had realized that during the night. Shane would spend the rest of his life in jail and in England. By the time he got out of jail, Kim's trail would be cold. If he even tried. Given what happened after their last night together, maybe he would not even try.
Kim thought about that last morning. She had woken so exhilarated and hopeful after they had made love, only to have Shane push her away. Then she had stalked away in anger. It hurt to think that would be her final memory of him and his of her.
With a sad smile, Kim broke the silence in the room. "When you see Shane . . . Tell him that I wished things hadn't ended like they did. Tell him I wish we could have made it work." She sighed. "But tell him that it's not his fault. I understand why he couldn't love me anymore, and it's for the best that he made it clear where things stood before this happened."
"Kim, what are you saying?" Kayla sounded completely bewildered.
"I'm telling you what you need to tell Shane so he can move on with his life. So tell him those things, and that I know he'll be a wonderful, caring and devoted father to our children. My only request is that he tell Andrew and Jeannie every day how much I love them." Kim nearly choked on her next words. "And tell him that I hope he finds someone who he can love, since that person obviously couldn't be me."
Kim turned away and ignored Kayla's further protests. She walked over to the table and picked up a slice of toast that Cal had brought into the room. It tasted like sand, but she forced it down and returned to her seat to wait for Cal's return.
Just a few more minutes, she told herself. In a few more minutes, it will all be over.