Quick update right? No but I'll try to update quicker from now on, I've just been super busy. Enjoy, or don't, depending on your preference.
"I'm recruiting volunteers for the starving puppy orphanage where I work. For free. So, if you wouldn't mind just writing your number down on this signup sheet?"
"Listen, I appreciate that you feel like you need my number. Maybe it's because you're really sad about something and this is your way of feeling better about yourself. But since I have a boyfriend, and I'm pretty sure I heard you call me a target earlier over there, I'm gonna go ahead and not give you my number. I'm gonna give you something even better."
"Wow, right to the chase. Meet you in aisle six."
The Year 2024, February 25th, 3:01 am
Barney opened his eyes, his phone was buzzing. He reached over to his nightstand to pick it up.
"Go for Barney." He said tiredly, lacking his usual enthusiasm.
"Barney, listen-um something's happened." He heard Lily's voice say.
Barney bolted upright, she sounded frantic, somewhat upset. What could possibly be wrong with her that she'd call in the middle of the night. "What's wrong Lil." He asked cautiously.
"Um- well, there's no easy way to say this. Tracy passed away." Lily said, sobbing.
Barney was shocked. Already?Had it been three months? No it couldn't have, there was more time, he was sure of it.
"Oh." Was all he could muster, he couldn't believe it. He had a fantasy where the doctors would suddenly come up with a cure, where she would survive. He knew it was far-fetched, but a small part of him believed it would happen.
"Yeah." Lily replied.
"I don't know what to- it's just such a-"
"Yeah, I understand." Lily replied. "She didn't deserve this."
Lily was right, Tracy of all people didn't deserve cancer, he couldn't think of a single reason to dislike the woman. She just always had something about her that made you like her. "I know." He replied.
"I-I gotta go Barney, I ha-have to make another call."
"Okay, bye." Barney said, all emotion drained from his voice.
He put the phone down and just stared straight ahead in shock, he wasn't crying, from some reason the tears wouldn't come.
He tried to tell himself it was a good thing, that she was put out of the pain she had been going through for the past few months, that she was in a better place now. But he couldn't, it just wasn't fair for her to be taken so soon.
The Year 2013, June 9th
"Barney!" He heard Marshall yell as he arrived with the drinks. "Tracy's in our gang now."
"Really?" Barney replied. "That was fast, especially considering your history." He pointed at Tracy and Lily.
"Oh knock it off Barney." Lily said, hitting him.
For next hour or so, Tracy told the gang about herself, stories from her life, with the others interjecting with their own stories. One story in particular caught Barney's attention.
"... So then invited him back to my apartment, went to get the cello and when came back to the living room, he was standing there naked. Apparently it's a thing "The Naked Man", saw it on some guys blog."
Barney almost spat out his drink. "You read my blog?"
Tracy stopped, confused. "What?"
"My blog, finally someone has the intelligence to read my blog!"
"Oh." She replied. "That was you?"
He nodded.
"Okay. I read that one entry and I'm not gonna lie, you are very-"
"Awesome? Legendary?"
"-Perverted."
The others laughed and Barney shrugged his shoulders. "You've still read it more than these guys ever have. I like you, I think you'll fit in perfectly around here." His eyes widened. "Have you ever played laser tag?"
Ted sighed. "Barney's been trying to get us to play laser tag with him for years now." He explained. "He's failed miserably."
"Hey." Barney replied. "I'll have you know that I almost had Robin play with me."
"Barney, it's a kids game." Robin sighed.
"You enjoyed it." He replied to his wife. "Admit it."
Robin shook her head. "It doesn't count as a gun unless you can kill a man with it."
"Your father said the very same thing." He replied. "So Tracy, are you in or what?"
Tracy looked over at the others, who shook their heads. "Sure why not? How bad can it be?"
A few days later...
"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Tracy yelled, as she and Barney walked out of the laser tag arena.
"Finally!" Barney said. "Someone who appreciates the awesomeness that is laser tag!"
"So we won! What do we get?" Tracy asked.
"Free wings." Barney replied, picking them up at the counter.
"I love laser tag."
Barney smiled. "I am glad that you said that, there's a competition coming up in September-"
"I'd love to!"
"Good, because I've already signed us up." Barney said, producing a sign up sheet, already filled in.
Tracy frowned. "Yeah, my surname is McConnell, not MacDonald."
Barney thought back. "Are you sure? Because when you introduced yourself I remember thinking I'd love a MacDonalds right now."
Tracy looked at him, checking to see if he was joking or not. "Pretty sure. And I was born September 14th 1984 not "I dunno, I sure hope she's over 21 though or my best bro Ted is in serious trouble.""
"Noted." He said, scribbling out his answers.
Barney looked at Tracy mischievously. "So, you and Ted? You giving him any?"
Tracy looked disgusted. "I really don't think that's any of business."
"Hey, I just need to know if my best bro is getting some."
"You guys have an odd relationship."
"Yeah well, he probably hasn't gotten any since Jeanette."
Tracy thought for a second. "Was she the one who didn't want him tearing down a building?"
"No, that was Chloe or something. Jeanette was the crazy one."
"I think you mean Zoey."
"I don't think so, it was Chloe." Barney said.
"No I'm pretty sure- never mind." Tracy said, it wasn't worth it.
"Ted really got around a lot." Barney said, thinking back. "What about- never mind."
"What?" Tracy asked, confused.
"Well it's just, Lily told me about your, um-"
"Dead boyfriend?" Tracy interrupted.
"That's the one."
"Ted's right, she really does have a big mouth."
"She's really trying." Barney said. "I thought you two had a lesbian 'moment'."
Tracy looked shocked. "Hey I'd never-" She paused. "Well actually."
"What?" Barney said, eyes widening.
"Well a couple years ago-"
"Wait." Barney said, producing a voice recorder. "Go on."
Tracy paused looking at the voice recorder, she then shrugged, continuing. "A couple years ago, my roommate found out she was a lesbian and had crush on me."
"And?"
"Well it was only a kiss."
"Only a-?" Barney said, shocked. "In the world of lesbianism there is no 'only a', everything is nothing short of amazing."
"Wow, I cannot believe-"
"-That you didn't have sex with her?" Barney interrupted.
"-That you're married."
The two chuckled for a moment until Tracy spoke up. "We should get going, Ted probably waiting."
They both got up and Barney stopped, realizing something. "Zoey! Her name was Zoey!"
Barney thought back to their very first laser tag game together. They would end up playing together a lot over the years, winning a few competitions. That is, until something grinded that to a halt.
The Year 2015, February 24th
"She's getting a boob job." Barney told his wife as the happy couple hugged each other.
"What!?" All three asked.
Barney looked at them, confused and then a sudden realisation came over him. "So you're not getting a boob job? Why?"
"Barney, I'm pregnant." Tracy told him as they sat down.
"Oh my God, congratulations!" Robin said.
"What? You're pregnant?" Barney asked in shock. "You'll still be able to come to the laser tag tri-state championships in October right? Tracy, tell me you'll be able to come to the laser tag tri-state championships in October!"
Tracy smiled at Ted. "I won't."
Barney scowled. "You know you guys are gonna be like Marshall and Lily now, you know where they are? Upstairs, trying to get their kids to sleep. On a Saturday night!" He looked at Tracy. "And you're gonna get fat."
There was silence for a moment. "Champagne?" Robin asked.
"Yeah!" Tracy said, excited. "Oh yeah, pregnant."
Robin got up to get the champagne and Barney started talking again. "Stupid kids, you guys have no idea how awesome to travel all the time and only see your wife when she's not working, which is ALL the time and never feeling like you're settled." He paused and Ted and Tracy exchanged a look. "It's so so so awesome! Why would you want kids if you could have that?"
"Barney are you and Robin-" Ted began.
"-Awesome? Yeah."
Robin walked up with a bottle of champagne. "I got a call from work, I gotta go but congrats guys."
Barney looked disappointed. "What? But thought we were gonna spend some time together tonight."
"I'm sorry Barney. Rain check?" She proceeded towards the door and Barney slumped down in his chair, they hadn't spent much time together since Robin got promoted at work and the only time they did spend together was on an airplane.
"Barney, I'm sorry." Tracy said, noticing his sadness.
"Lets drink." He said, filling his and Ted's glasses.
A few hours later..
Barney looked at Ted, he looked in pretty bad shape. That round of champagne had led to more champagne, and scotch and Ted didn't look to be taking it so well. He stood up on top of the table. "Wooooooo!" He screamed. "See this woman here." He pointed at Tracy. "She's giving me a baby. A little baby... And I'm gonna be a dad. I need to sit down." He fell down onto the seat and downed another glass of scotch.
"Maybe it's time we stopped him." Tracy said, giggling.
"Yes, I am highly intoxicated ans I would be a danger to myself and others if I drank any more."
Barney and Tracy exchanged a glance. "That was odd." Tracy said.
"Ted, how good of a detective are you?" Barney asked, suspecting something.
"I'm a terrible detective, it was my sister who found the retainer in the garbage."
"Oh my God." Barney yelled in excitement. "He's truth serum drunk. That last scotch must've sent him over the edge. Haha, revenge is mine!"
Tracy's eyes widened. "You mean he can't lie!" She paused for a moment and Barney thought she might not approve of asking Ted embarrassing questions. "That is awesome!"
Barney looked at Ted. "Did you or did you not have a three way?"
"I didn't, I wimped out when I saw four boobs together at once."
"When we were first dating, you said you beat up a guy who tried to hit on me, is that true?" Tracy asked.
"No, I tried but then he hit me and I ran home crying."
Tracy and Barney started laughing, they asked him a few more questions until Barney had an idea. "On a scale of one to ten, how dirty is Tracy in bed?"
"BARNEY!" Tracy said, shocked.
"9.5."
Barney started laughing and Tracy went red. "Hey, don't worry Trace, you can make up for that extra .5."
"Shut up Barney." She turned to her fiance. "Ted, has Barney ever, you know, gone the other way?"
"He once picked a girl up, brought her home and when she got undressed, Barney realised she was from Thailand."
Tracy exploded in laughter and Barney tried to hide his embarrassment. "Ted, remember how we came up with a list of the dirtiest sex acts we could think of? Has Tracy ever done number 1?"
"All the time."
"What's number 1?" Tracy asked them. "No wait, I don't wanna know!"
"You dirty, dirty girl." Barney said, giggling. "You know I've never met a girl who would do number 1. Has Tracy ever-"
"BARNEY WILL YOU EVER STOP ASKING THOSE QUESTIONS!" Tracy shouted, gaining some looks from other bar patrons.
"No he will not." Ted stated.
"Tell me something I don't know." Tracy snapped.
"On the day of Barney and Robin's wedding, Robin tried to run away with me."
"What!?" Barney asked, Tracy looked alarmed.
"It's something she didn't know."
"I can't believe you never told me that." Tracy said. "You said the story ended on the morning of the wedding."
"How do you think I feel?" Barney asked. "We've been married for two years and she actually wanted to marry Ted? I can't believe this."
"Barney, no, come on." Tracy said, sympathising. "I'm sure it was just pre-wedding jitters."
"Tracy, the woman drags me around the world and we rarely spend time alone together. I mean I can live with that, it's tough but the only thing keeping me going was the fact that she loved me. But now, now I find this out? I just don't know anymore. I gotta go, I'm sorry." He got up and left, questioning his entire marriage.
After that, things just went downhill in his marriage. If was the events of that night combined with everything else that fueled their divorce the following year. It seemed stupid really, it probably was just pre-wedding jitters. Those problems, those problems that don't seem so big anymore, overshadowed the fact that he loved so much.
Barney stopped himself, he was thinking about Robin again. He shouldn't, him and Robin are over, they are nothing more than friends. His thoughts went back to Tracy, disappointed with himself that he forgot this tragedy in favour of his own trivial problems.
The Year 2015, September 25th
"S'up preggo." Barney said as a heavily pregnant Tracy opened her front door.
"To what do I owe the pleasure." Tracy said as Barney walked past her into the house. "And yeah sure, you're welcome to come in."
"Well seeing as Ted is off doing some sort of architect thing and Robin's off in Spain or Brazil or Australia or one of those European countries, I thought we could hang out." He said grabbing a beer out of the fridge. He turned around and looked at Tracy, Ted had warned him that she was very moody lately.
"Sure." She said grumpily. "Get me a pickle from the fridge."
"Okay." Barney said. A pickle? Pregnant women are weird. Tracy walked into the living room, he followed her in and gave her the pickle. She looked up at him in disgust.
"What?" He asked.
"You don't see what you've done?" She asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Uhhhh."
"You didn't get the mustard! You can't have pickle without mustard!" Tracy yelled.
Yeah, there it was, the irrational moodiness that Ted was talking about. "Mustard? Are you... What?!"
"Just shut up and get it." Tracy said.
Barney realized the only thing for him to do was to get the mustard or this would only get worse. He went to retrieve it and came back to a completely different Tracy.
"I'm sorry I yelled." She said, in tears. "I'll go make you some cookies."
Wow, Barney thought, now she was crying? She started walking towards the kitchen and Barney thought how nice it would be to have some sumbitches right now... no she's pregnant... but sumbitches... no it wouldn't be right. She came back in with a huge smile on her face, seemingly forgetting about the cookies.
"I found a quarter!" She declared, happy with herself. She immediately plopped herself down on the couch and started eating her pickle and mustard. "This is awesome, you should try it!"
"No thanks." He said nervously, hoping that happy Tracy would stay for the time being.
"I'm surprised Ted would leave so soon to that little bastard's birth."
"She's not a- oh yeah. I'm not due for another month so I'd say it's okay." Tracy said, dipping her pickle into the mustard.
"Is she gonna play laser tag?"
"Oh totally." Tracy said. "We're not gonna let Ted convince her that laser tag is lame. She's also going to be a coin collector and renaissance enthusiast."
"God, you guys are dorks."
"And proud of it. You seen our coin display?"
"No and I'd like to keep it that way."
"Suit yourse- OWW." She yelled out in pain, clutching her stomach.
"What's wrong?" Barney asked, worried.
"Oh crap!" Tracy yelled. "I think that was a contraction!"
"What? No, no not good!" Barney panicked.
"CALL TED! NOW!"
"Okay, okay no need to yell." He said, taking his phone out.
He called Ted and it rang for a few seconds.
"Hello?" He heard from Ted.
"Ah, good. You're there. Listen I'm here with Tracy and there's a bit of a situation."
"What's going on? Is she hurt?"
"No, no nothing like that. She's just gone into labor."
"WHAT!?" Ted screamed, making Barney take his ear away from the phone.
"Okay calm down bro."
"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Can I talk to her?"
"Sure." He handed the phone to Tracy. They had a short conversation and she handed the phone back.
"Okay, here's the plan." Tracy declared. "Ted's almost in New York, so you're taking me to the hospital and he'll meet us there."
"But I don't have a car."
"Use my car!"
"But I'm not insured."
"Barney I swear to God.."
"Okay fine." He said. "But if we die in your little deathtrap then-"
"Then what? We'll be dead."
Barney shrugged his shoulders. They went outside and got in her banged up little car. "God, how old is this thing?" Barney asked.
"I got it back in 03, she's my baby. Well, now I've got another one but that doesn't mean I don't love you." She said to her car, panting.
Barney struggled to get into the car, having to push the seat back. "God, you are literally the smallest person ever. How do you fit in this thing."
"Just drive."
Some time later
Tracy yelled in pain. "They're getting closer together.
Barney stopped the car. "Yeah well we're here now, so next time you feel like punching someone, punch the doctor."
They got out of the car, heading towards the hospital entrance.
"Tracy?" A voice called out.
They both turned around looking for the source and Tracy's eyes landed on a man standing a few feet away. "Aw crap." She muttered. "Hey Louis."
He waved at her and Barney could feel the awkwardness in the air. This must be the Louis that she dated for a year.
"I'm just here because my sister was in an accident, it's fine, nothing serious." He said awkwardly. "How are you doing? I mean, obviously..." He said, gesturing towards her stomach.
"Yeah, this is my first one, she's a girl, I-" Tracy said.
"-Hey I'm Barney." Barney said, cutting her off. Now was not the time for some of Tracy's classic nice-girlness, they needed to get rid of this guy. "Tracy's husband."
Tracy glared at him.
"Oh, okay." Louis said. "I gotta get going, congrats." He said backing away.
"Okay." Tracy said. "Tell Karen I said get well soon."
"Husband?" Tracy said as soon as Louis had left.
"I worked didn't it?" Barney said ad they walked into the hospital. "Boy, you sure can be nice to people when you want to be."
"It's not his fault you were driving too slow, I'm not gonna take it out on him." She paused. "Have you-OWWW-heard anything from Ted."
"Nothing. You think he's gonna make it?"
"I hope so."
They made their way to the front desk of the ER. "Hi, I've just gone into labor, my contractions have gotten very short apart." Tracy said to the front desk nurse.
"What's your name?"
"Tracy McConnell, my doctor is Dr. Clancy."
"Ah okay." The nurse replied, escorting Tracy to the delivery room, she stopped when Barney followed. "Dr. Clancy has a rule where only direct family is allowed. Is he the father?"
Tracy paused for a second. She couldn't do this alone and Ted didn't look like he was arriving any time soon. She made a snap decision that she would later regret. "Yes! He's the father."
"Okay." The nurse said and they continued towards the room.
'I'm the father?' Barney said telepathically to Tracy.
'I need someone in there with me. Just go with it.' She replied.
'But what about Ted? What's gonna happen when he arrives?'
'I didn't think it all the way through, okay?' Tracy thought back.
A short while later.
"WHERE THE HELL IS TED!?" Tracy yelled, making Barney drop his smartphone, her contractions were getting shorter and shorter apart but she was refusing to let her daughter out until Ted arrived.
"I'm sure he's coming." Barney reassured her, getting slightly worried himself, it would be truly horrible if Ted Mosby was to miss the birth of his daughter. A nurse walked in.
"Excuse me, Ms. McConnell?" She asked.
"That's me." Tracy snapped.
"There's a man in the lobby claiming to be your fiance."
Tracy was about to speak but Barney cut her off. "Is it Louis? That guy needs to let go, she said no to him two years ago."
"So I shouldn't let him in?"
"Yeah."
"N-no wait OWWWW." Tracy was cut off by a contraction. When it was over she hit Barney across the head. "What the hell?" She said, showing him her engagement ring. "Maybe it was my actual fiance, Ted!"
"No no no no no. No." Barney said, confidently then his eyes widened. "Wait, what if it was Ted?"
Tracy groaned and Barney rushed out the door. He stopped the nurse. "Hi, remember that guy you were talking about earlier? Yeah you should let him in."
The nurse looked confused. "I thought you said-"
"I know what I said, but yeah he's the father."
"I thought you were the father."
Barney thought for a second, Tracy did say that. "Yes um I am... technically the father... but uh Ted is the-"
"-I'll go get him."
"That would be great."
Barney looked back on that day. The day Penny was born, almost ten years ago, time sure flies. Tracy was really crazy that day but when she held her daughter for the first time, she could have stayed there staring at her for weeks, he didn't understand it then but when Ellie was born he knew the feeling.
Tears finally began rolling down his face, thinking about Penny and Luke, those poor kids. Tracy was a fantastic mother, even in her final days. Though he remembered at least one time she used her child for less than honorable purposes.
The Year 2017, February 10th
"Oh Barney, lets spend the rest of our lives together, I love you so much, I'm never letting you out of my sight for a second."
"Okay." Barney said, barely hiding his discomfort in the fact that a random bimbo he just met was getting so clingy.
"Ooh, we should go to Vermont together!" Said Random Bimbo.
'Oh God' Barney thought, checking his phone, he called in the calvary half an hour ago, where the hell was she?
"Barney, sweetie-pie? You seem distant."
Barney was about to respond when the door opened. 'Finally' he thought. They both looked over towards the door and Barney smiled, noticing his heavily pregnant at the door.
"Barney?" She yelled. "What the hell is going on? Who the hell is this."
"Oh, nothing honey." Barney said.
"Barney honey, who is this woman?" Random Bimbo asked, standing up.
"She's... um."
"I'm his wife!"
Random Bimbo(Jessica? Jasmine? Jennifer? Sarah?) gasped. "And I bet that's your child too. I can't believe this." She said heading towards the door. "I can't believe you told me I was your first!" She slammed the door.
"And scene!" Barney said. "You were good, not great but better than the last time."
Tracy rolled her eyes as Barney went to get himself a drink. "I can't believe you got me to do that! At this hour in the morning!"
"Hey, you owed me a no questions asked." Barney stated, he decided to compliment her. "Plus your the only chick I know who's hot enough to be believable as my wife."
"Nah-uh mister, that's not gonna work on me." She said sitting on the couch, though Barney did catch a slight smile.
Barney sat down next to her. "So how's little Barney Junior?"
"His name isn't- just stop, okay?"
"You wanna know why I always call you over for these things instead of everyone else?"
"Because my pregnancy makes it easier to scare girls off?"
"That, and you're the only one who doesn't judge me. Everyone else is all like 'Barney! You're forty years old, get your life together!' Not you, you're cool."
"You want to know my honest opinion on the situation?"
Barney nodded. "They were all blinded by the fact that their womanizer friend got married that they didn't see how unhappy you guys got at the end. Personally I prefer you this way, it was clear that you guys stopped loving each other."
Barney took another drink from his beer and then paused, was that entirely true? They were having huge problems but did they stop loving each other? Was it even possible for him fall out of love with Robin Scherbatsky? "Tracy... Robin and I, we were having problems communicating but-"
"-But you never stopped loving her." Tracy looked at Barney, excepting some kind of response and when she didn't get one she knew her statement had been confirmed. "Oh my God, you still love Robin!"
"Tracy I-"
"Are you serious?" Tracy said, standing up. "Why-why did you get divorced? What were you thinking?"
"What was I thinking? I was thinking that our relationship was doomed to fail! I was thinking that Robin's career was turning her into a cold-hearted selfish bitch!" Barney yelled, glad to finally get that out. "I told her I loved her right before we got divorced but that didn't change her mind, she's changed Tracy, I love Robin but not THAT Robin."
Tracy looked shocked at Barney's sudden outburst. "Wow, I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"It's okay, it just hurts. When we got married I had no idea that it would be this hard, no idea that the woman I loved would change so drastically."
Tracy sat back down next to Barney and put her arm around him, comforting him. "So... What are you gonna do?" She asked in a quiet voice.
"Nothing." He replied, sadness filling his voice. "There's nothing I can do, Robin isn't the person she used to be and she isn't changing anytime soon. I can just keep going on like this, keep sleeping around, pretending none of this really matters, pretending that this is who I really am. I'll just pretend that I'd rather keep playing than win."
Tracy looked sadly at him tears forming in her her big eyes. "If there's ever anything you need, ever. Just know that I'm here for you."
Barney smiled sadly, glad that someone was on his side in this horrible situation. "Thanks Trace, that means a lot."
She kept her promise til her very last day. Whenever he was doubting himself and his decisions, she reassured him that he was making the right decision, that going back to Robin would just lead to more pain. He didn't know what he'd do if Tracy hadn't been there to help him through those tough times. He didn't know what he'd do now that she was gone.
He convinced himself that that was who he was, that love wasn't something that Barney Stinson could do, he actually began to believe it too. He told Ted, Marshall and Lily that he was a manchild womanizer and nothing more the night Marshall became a judge, Tracy wasn't there, she was off working, trying to save the world.
Tracy did help him through a lot of his problems, including his toughest journey yet...
The Year 2019, June 16th.
"So when is she meeting us here?" Tracy asked impatiently.
"She'll be here aaaany minute." Barney said, trying to keep his cool, though he knew Tracy knew him better than that. They were sitting in a diner and they were about to meet with the mother of his child, his first encounter with her since their one night stand didn't go so well so he begged Tracy to help him this time and she obliged.
"Mommy! I want ice-cream!"
Oh yeah, and she brought Penny with her, she said that it would make #31 feel better about motherhood.
"Not until we're done with uncle Barney's who(re)... Very nice lady" Tracy replied.
"Last time I talked to the very nice lady she bit me." Barney replied shrinking back into his seat.
The door opened and a young blonde woman walked in, looking about half Barney's age. Barney rose from his seat and Tracy pulled him back down again, knowing what he was up to.
"Hey." Barney said, his voice breaking.
"Barney." She spat, giving him a cold stare. She sat down at the table and started eyeing Tracy. "Who's this whor-"
"-I'm Tracy." She replied, not wanting that language to be used in front of her daughter. "I'm Barney's friend."
"Friend? This asshole has friends?"
"Mommy, what's an asshole?"
"It's a very bad word that won't get you ice cream." Tracy replied. "So, Barney tells me you don't want children." Tracy said, changing the subject.
"Yeah, it's gonna be yours." She said, pointing at Barney.
'And we don't want that do we?' Barney said telepathically to Tracy.
'You don't want the kid?' Tracy replied.
'Of course I don't, this had better just be her problem!'
"But you'd love being a mother." Tracy replied, fake-smiling. "This is my daughter Penny, she's three years old and she's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Say hi to the nice lady Penny."
"Hi." Penny said timidly.
"Haven't you ever wanted that? I mean, sure motherhood is tough and it does a real number on your body. I've had two kids and if you've ever seen me in a bikini you'll know what I'm talking about."
#31's eyes darted towards Barney, acussingly.
"But-but-but, it's still the single greatest thing I've ever done in my life. Having children, it's just- words can't even begin to describe it. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for it."
#31 went silent for a moment, mulling over Tracy's words. Barney and Tracy exchanged a look.
"No!" She said finally. "You're getting full custody." She glared at Barney and got up, leaving the diner.
"Well that went well." Barney said sarcastically.
"Excuse me?" Tracy replied. "You're the father here and you didn't even say a word."
"Yeah, she scares me."
"So what are you gonna do?"
"I guess, if you really asked nicely, you and Ted could have it."
Tracy rolled her eyes. "We're not taking your child."
"But I want a little sister!" Penny squeaked.
"How about I get you ice cream instead?"
"Yay!"
"Come on!" Barney pleaded. "I don't want to be a dad."
Tracy thought for a second. "Don't make any decisions right now, when you see your child, if you still want to give it up, then fine, we'll talk about it."
"In that case, prepare for baby number three." Barney said, confident that he wouldn't change his mind.
Tracy checked the time. "We've got some time to kill, you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"You know it."
Tracy leaned down to her daughter. "Penny, your uncle Barney and I are going to show you something very awesome. It's called laser tag."
It's funny, he was so sure that day that he didn't want to have the day Ellie was born, that all changed, the emptiness he had in his heart when Robin left was gone. Seeing as Ellie's mom wanted nothing to do with her, Ellie began looking up to Tracy as a mother, which was why it was so hard...
The Year 2024, January 15th
"And the winners." Barney said, putting on a deep voice. "Are, the incredibly handsome Barney Stinson, the amazing Tracy McConnell and introducing birthday girl, Ellie Stinson!"
Ellie giggled at her fathers words, for Ellie's fourth birthday, Barney and Tracy decided to bring her to her first laser tag game. They both remarked that she was very good for her age (Ted would later remark that it was a game meant for children).
"Aunt Tracy! Aunt Tracy! You were the best!" Ellie screamed Tracy smiled at her enthusiasm, over the years, Barney had noticed that Ellie idolized her aunt, she had recently told Barney that she wanted to learn how to play the ukulele. "Can we do this every year?"
Barney froze, they had told Ellie about Tracy's illness, but she was so young and innocent, she didn't really understand. He looked over at Tracy and could see tears forming in her eyes. "Sweetie... um, I-"
"-Hey Ellie." Barney said, producing a Nintendo DS from his coat pocket. "Why don't you play on this, while your Aunt Tracy and I talk about grown-up stuff?"
"Yay!" Ellie squealed.
"Smooth." Tracy said, a smile forming on her face.
"I'm sorry about that." Barney replied. "She doesn't really-"
"I understand."
They smiled sadly at each other, ever since her diagnosis, she had told the gang that she would like as little talk about it as possible. She said that sometimes it's better to just enjoy each others company instead.
"So what's going on between you and Robin?" Tracy asked.
Barney sighed, Tracy sees everything doesn't she? "Nothing, just friends."
"Come on, these eyes, they miss nothing. Last week when we were all hanging out, I could see it, there's something more there."
Barney opened his mouth to speak, but then he noticed his daughter. He pulled out a pair of headphones and put them on her ears. "Tracy, you know I will always think of Robin as something more than a friend. But Robin and I are finally at a stage where we can be friends without things being awkward and I can't risk screwing that up. And besides, things are different now, I can't just go around chasing Robin anymore, I have responsibilities. I mean, the thought of Ellie losing a mother again. It would kill her."
"Well, she didn't really lose a mother in the first place, #31 was never there to begin with."
"I wasn't talking about #31." Barney said, taking a very serious tone. "She's going to lose the closest thing to a mother she ever had."
Tracy smiled sadly, before quickly changing the subject. "So you and Robin?"
"Not anytime soon."
Tracy had a look of both understanding and disappointment. "I guess I just thought... Nevermind."
"What?" Barney said, sensing a deeper meaning.
"Well... I've heard the stories okay? I've heard about Ted and Robins relationship, it sounded like in incredibly unhealthy relationship yet Ted kept on going back and getting his heart broken."
Barney paused, processing what she just said, was saying that-
"I just thought that if you and Robin finally sorted things out then maybe Ted might be spared of experiencing that again."
"Wait, Tracy are you saying-?"
"I'm saying that one month from now I will be dead." Tracy snapped. "And I want Ted to move on, but not like that."
Barney gripped her hand as tears began falling down her face. He wouldn't usually do something like that, but hey, Tracy was a bro and she's helped him before when he was at his lowest.
"I agree." He said, finally. "It would be the worst thing that could happen if Ted went down that road again. And I promise, that if God forbid, that ever happen. I will find Ted. Walk up to him. And slap him across the face."
Tracy laughed through her tears. "Thanks Barney. Also, can you promise me one other thing?"
"Of course."
"If you ever try to teach Luke how to live. I will track you down. And I will haunt you for the rest of your days."
That wouldn't be such a bad thing, he didn't know how he'd live without her advice, without her guiding him. He didn't know how he did it for thirty-six years. He stopped crying and smiled, he smiled at how lucky the world was to have been blessed with Tracy McConnell and how lucky he was to have been friends with her.
Long chapter. Just to let you know, I don't plan on having any short chapters. Oh yeah and give that ol' review button a click. It'll be fun