Healed and Hunted
What I Want
Chapter Forty Six
The Front Line HQ
Aang
He hasn't slept in two days. He should have waited around to take what punishment was coming his way, but he was afraid. So he did what his people- the Air Nomads of old- did best. He ran. And unfortunately, there was only one place left to run to. Toph. She was his refuge, even if she was probably going to kill him.
Kat hadn't called either of them, in all this time. He wasn't sure what to make of that. It might have simply been she was writing the proper speech, or that she was on her way here, or that- and in his mind this was the most likely- she was being Kat. Even when…rightly furious, she was being kind. She might've been giving him a chance to tell Toph himself.
"You alright? You've been awake since you got here. Plus your heart beat's all over the place. You should probably get some rest." Toph said, coming from behind him.
He knew this was a bad idea, and it might be his last bad idea, but he had to do something. He couldn't sit and wait anymore.
"I want to start with an apology." He said, taking a gulp, "So, I'm really sorry."
And then he launched into his tale. How he had spent the last eight months lying to her, because he hadn't been altogether sure of both Lee's and Kat's wellbeing. How, little had she known, she had saved Lee's life, plucked him from the ashes.
When his story was over, Toph didn't say anything. She sat, blinking. Ten, fifteen minutes of painful silence ticked by, slower than perhaps any other silence he'd ever suffered.
Toph left without a word, which was unlike her.
Just as soon as the thought entered his mind, Toph turned around.
"I should kill you. I mean, I really should. I should beat you and grind you into dust." She had a finger in his face. He knew a small flick of said finger would do just that. While he was glad her bending had returned in this past year, it was currently a source of apprehension for him.
Flashbacks of brutal earthbending lessons froze him.
"But it isn't my place. Kat should kill you. And if you're lucky, she will. I can't even believe this, except that I can." She started to pace, "God, you ass."
Aang closed his eyes, though she couldn't see. He was waiting for a punch, to be sucked down into the Earth. None came. That terrified him more, he thought, because he'd never seen Toph so angry that she didn't lash out. Because, when she was being violent, it was because she knew where and when to draw the line.
"You should've told me, at the least."
Aang nodded, "I should have. But he was sick, and they weren't convinced he was going to live. I didn't want you to have to-"
"Would you have let him die and not have told her? You were going to let her wait, weren't you?" Toph shook her head, "If he'd died, what was your plan?"
"I was counting on him living." Aang answered.
And at that, it seemed, Toph had had enough. She left him in their room, without so much as a threat against him. She didn't say she was leaving, or if she was coming back. She didn't tell him she would call, or where she was going.
Aang hadn't felt this isolated in a very, very long time.
Hospital Desk
Toph
She hasn't been here in several months. Almost seven, actually. Which, according to Aang, was about when Lee was expected to wake up. Originally, Aang had told her that the patient had been moved. She believed him, of course. Why would someone lie about something like that?
Toph has tried to call Kat several times, but was never received. In truth, she was glad to do this face-to-face. She didn't know what Kat was going to be like, or if she knew that Toph wasn't involved.
She hears a child pass in front of her, and so she asks for assistance in finding Kat. Normally, Aang would take here. She was blind, thanks to these tiled floors, coupled with the fact that she was wearing shoes for sanitary reasons.
The child knew at once where Kat was, and that was no surprise. Kat had always sought out the children, in any situation. She was a mother-to-all, and Toph had been no exceptions once. She remembered the endless fights the two of them would get into, because Toph had never had anyone care about her the way Kat did. It had been confusing at first, and irritating. But right now, living the nostalgia of the past felt better than facing the present.
When she approached, Kat was reading to a circle-Toph assumed- of children. Kat paused momentarily-probably when she caught sight of Toph-but finished her reading with flourish. Kat's Russian had gotten better, though it still needed a lot of work.
"Hey." Toph said, when Kat's hand rest on her arm.
She followed the other woman's lead without question or comment. They were outside soon enough, in some garden judging by the smell, and Kat told her to remove her shoes. When she did, Toph took a good look at her sister, head to toe.
She had definitely lost weight, that much was obvious. Her heart beat was calm and steady, though, so Toph had no idea where to begin.
"Lee's alive." Toph sat down, finding solace and comfort in the damp earth. Someone- if history was anything to go by, Kat- had taken good care of this place. In the midst of a warzone, it was hard to find such healthy plant life.
"I know. He's here, if you want to see him." Kat answered, heart steady as ever as she sat, too.
"I didn't know. I would have told you if I did." Toph's toes were digging into the dirt. She saw worms and bugs and ants all around them, evidence of life teeming beneath the surface.
Kat put her head on Toph's shoulder, "I know you would have."
This sort of affection between them was a new thing, relatively speaking. When she had lost her bending, Kat and Aang had taken to resorting to actual physical touch to assure Toph that she wasn't alone in the world, as it often felt when she couldn't see. Granted, it was only in the past six months or so that Kat had even begun to leave her own isle of isolation.
Toph leaned her own head against Kat's, sorry and happy all at once. Kat was warm, warmer than she had been in nearly two years. It might've just been Toph's imagination.
"How is he?" Toph wondered.
Kat sighed, "I don't really know. We... haven't spoken much. I stay with him when I'm not working. Sometimes he comes down to visit. He can walk at least. But he's paper thin and bone tired."
"That makes two of you." Toph commented.
A small, telling spike in Kat's heartbeat, "I'm fine. Maybe I'm working too much, but what else is new?"
"What are we going to do about Aang?"
Ah, there was a reaction she could feel. She could see Kat try to contain it, to reign it in, but the reaction was there. Toph wasn't sure what it meant, most likely anger, but Kat's body betrayed vehement emotion.
"I haven't decided. I've thought too much about it. And, mostly, I'm just hurt. I wouldn't have kept you from him, if the situations were reversed." Kat was picking at the grass, "He had no right to do it. But Lee didn't call me, either. So. I don't know."
That surprised Toph, too. She would have thought that, after so long, Lee would have done anything to see Kat again.
"Did he say why?" The blind woman asked, trying to make sense of it.
Kat's heart beat slowed for a moment, "I didn't ask. I wanted to, but… Well, I wasn't sure I wanted to know."
Fifth Floor
Lee
He's surprised to see Toph, though he supposes he shouldn't be. She looks so different. Her hair was longer, down passed her shoulders, and she had bangs that swept to the side. It looked good, and she seemed healthy.
Kat stayed just long enough to help Toph to a chair, and then left without anything more than a polite hello. And that was okay.
It wasn't that they were avoiding each other. They just didn't know what to say.
"Hey, Lee." She said. Her voice was curt. Not rude, but simply not softened the way people typically talked to those in hospitals. It was her normal voice.
"Hey, Toph. Good to see you." He answered her, not sure what else to say. They weren't particular friends, after all. They had had a mutual understanding, once, about where the other stood in relation to Kat and Aang, but that was all.
Toph put her feet up on his bed, hands behind her head.
"I hear I have you to thank for saving me." He said, remembering what Aang had told him upon his waking up.
Toph nodded, "That's what I hear, too. Didn't recognize you, though. Otherwise the two of you would not be in such deep shit."
He had forgotten how coarse she could be.
"I guess we are, huh?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
Toph snorted, "Yes indeed."
Hearing someone else confirm it felt nice. It was better than having Kat sit around trying not to be mad, but ending up only making the air tense. It wasn't Kat's fault. She was right to be angry. And he knew what she must've been feeling. That his return had somehow lessened his offense. She probably felt she had no right to be angry, when they had finally been reunited.
"I'm not sure what to do about it, either." Lee told her. She started picking at her nails, removing dirt and dead skin from the ends of her fingers.
Toph looked at him- well, slightly to the right of him- and said, "Neither do we. But Kat seems against killing you both."
And he laughed, oddly relieved. Lee was glad Toph was treating him like he had never left, like it had only been days since they'd seen each other last.
"How is she, Toph? I mean, how is she really?" He wanted to know. He felt that he had been given two very diluted pictures of Kat's health, both by Kat herself, and by Aang. He trusted Toph not to lie to him.
She didn't, "She's lost a bunch of weight, but you probably noticed that. When I asked her about it, her heart skipped a beat, so she knows it, too. I know she has nightmares. She probably isn't sleeping. I can't tell you how she looks, but I'd be willing to be the word ragged or maybe haggard would apply."
"She's got bags under her eyes, and her clothes don't fit well. But when I ask her if she's feeling okay, she says she's fine." Lee sighed.
"How are you doing, by the way?"
"Fine," he answered without thinking. After a moment's thought he corrected himself, "Tired. And really, really bored of sitting in this hospital."
Toph smiled, "I'd imagine."
"I really just want to go home, and sleep in my own bed, and wake up and make coffee for Kat." He said wistfully. The very thought of it made his heart pang.
"Did Aang tell you what happened while you were gone? To Kat, I mean?" Toph was bending a bracelet into various shapes now. He remembered that bracelet, but couldn't remember the story. Part of him keeps thinking about spaceships.
He shook his head, "Not really. He said she was placed in charge of the University. And that she didn't really do well. And when I asked her, she… Well, I got the feeling she didn't want to talk about it."
Again, he had received these rose-colored reports from Aang. Vague and frustrating, but Lee had managed by consoling himself with the thought of being repaired and whole once more.
"That first part was true. The same day you were supposed to get home, Kat found out about the job offering. And she almost left it, to come here." Toph paused briefly before continuing, "But your uncle convinced her to stay, and I think it killed her. No one really saw her for the whole year. She didn't accept phone calls from us, didn't answer emails. The school would have a press conference every now and again, and Kat would lead those."
That sounded…strange. It wasn't like Kat to cut herself off like that. She wouldn't have abandoned Kyoshi.
"I visited her twice, but never told anyone. Both times she seemed…Honestly? She sounded fine. I mean, her voice was soulless, but she took care of herself. She was just fine, physically. She seemed well, and at the same time, I knew she wasn't. It was like someone had taken Kat and copied her, leaving something of a ghost behind."
Lee had to swallow emotion as it clogged his throat.
"So, if she seems a bit hesitant to talk about that year, it's probably because she doesn't remember most of it. She was…out of it. But, Lee. You should… look, you should talk to her. And tell her everything. Even if neither of you wants to talk about it."
He didn't want to. What he had seen haunted him in his sleep. He didn't need Kat to deal with it as well. She had her own troubles, and talking about his didn't seem like the best way to help her.
"Oh, and before I forget." Toph dug her phone out of her pocket, holding it slightly away from him, "I figured I'd better show you some pictures. Scroll through until you find a baby. Aang took some pictures. This is Alice, Kyoshi's new sister."
The baby was absolutely beautiful. And Kyoshi! She'd grown tall. Lee missed her, so. He thought that her presence would go a long way. He just wanted to go home.
But to do that, Kat was going to have to carry him there.
The Spare Room
Kat
She lays there with Toph, both still awake but neither admitting it. It's been a hard day for both of them. Hard week, rather. She holds the blind girl close, and tries to pretend that everything is okay.
"Kat?" Toph says, breaking their façade.
"Yeah?" Kat answers, sighing and adjusting herself.
"I want you to take Lee home. And I don't want you to ever come back here."
The other girl turned, so that they were now face to face. The two women were hugging, finding solace in each other. She was glad that Toph was here. It wasn't easy dealing with all of this on her own. And Toph was having a hard time, too.
"I want the two of you to get married, and have lots of babies. And I want you to teach people how to heal, Kat, like you can. I want you to build an army of healers, and make the world a better place."
It sounded beautiful to Kat. All of it, really.
"I want you to come with us. You and Aang and I want this war to be over." Kat told her, "And I want you to come teach with me, so that when kids cry you can tell them not to be such pansies. I want your mom to be proud of her daughter's resolve on a complete education."
They shared a laugh. It was a watery laugh, but a laugh all the same.
"Lee wants to go home." Toph added, solemnly.
They both sighed.
"I don't even know if he's well enough for travel." Kat was thinking, now. She remembered he had problems with flying, anyways, but doubted he would care at this point.
"His body is ready."
The statement made her giggle. His body was ready. Wasn't that a sexual thing?
"But he has a lot of baggage, now. He needs help, Kat. I think he's drowning."
That was something Kat could understand. She knew quite a lot about drowning now. Had survived it. But she didn't know anything about saving anyone from it. She had pulled herself from it, after Mushi's arrival.
"What am I supposed to do?" Kat wanted to know.
Toph buried her head in Kat's neck, "Well, listening to his story would probably be a good place to start. And then…"
"And then?"
"And then," Toph jokingly bit Kat, "And then show him how much you missed him."
Suddenly, this innocent hugging felt a lot like a really big tease. Like Toph had been saving this line just to make Kat incredibly embarrassed. Then again, it was Toph. She had probably been planning this since she found out Lee was alive.
Kat fell asleep, hugging Toph even though the girl spent the remainder of the night making lewd comments. It was Toph's way of easing tension out of a situation, Kat supposed. And it was good to feel like she was finally awake and alert enough to feel warmth and embarrassment and fear.
Tomorrow, she was going to take Lee home.