Authors note:This is the second instalment of my Frostiron series. If you haven't already, Please read "The Breathless fall" first. I promise it is worth it! And everything will make so much more sense if you do! P.S I'm still having trouble with paragraphs, so ignore the dots again...
Disclaimer: This story takes place after Iron man 3 and the avengers. I do not own any marvel characters or their movie interpretations.
Special thanks: To my new Beta, BrandyGold! Without her this would be nothing but gibberish!You are such a sweet heart and a dear friend, thank-you for all your hard work! * Hugs * also she is a diehard Stony fan and you should all read her work! I love it 3
Chapter 5
"Fracture"
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Loki let the warm ocean water lap against his legs. He had been standing in one spot on Tony's beach for so long that the sand was slowly beginning to cover his feet. His pants were soaked through, weighing him down. A small fish skittered in front of him, and Loki watched it head for open waters. With some reluctance, he followed it.
He pulled his feet from the muck, watching the sand swirl in the current. Coarse shells scratched the soles of his feet, and the waves began to push him with every step. The current is strong beneath the waves. He could feel it pull him forwards, towards the deep primal dark of the ocean.
The water is up to his waist now, and he steps onto a large stone shelf that tilts dangerously down. Smaller pieces of broken boulders line the sea floor and he looks for one that will suit his purpose. He stops to pick up a large pointed rock and holds it against his chest. The added weight pulls him down and he begins to take shallow, quick breaths to flood his body with as much oxygen as he can hold.
The waves roll over his shoulders, the salt water stinging when it gets into his eyes. He ignores the slight annoyance and presses forward. He needs to concentrate all his energy on the task at hand.
Loki takes one final breath and steps off a ledge, completely submerging himself underwater. He opens his eyes as he falls, watching the shadows grow steadily darker. He plunges several dozen feet and the current catches him, pulling him towards the bottom. He pops his ears several times and the darkness of the ocean consumes him entirely.
He falls in absolute silence.
The water around him grows cold, then achingly glacier-like. Unpleasant pressure begins to build around him, and with reluctance, he lets his glamour slip. His Jotun skin flows from underneath, protecting him from the growing cold and weight of the water.
Finally, his feet touch sickeningly cold mud. Loki sits down in the sediment, crossing his legs in front of him. He places the jagged rock in his lap to weigh him down. He holds his hands out, letting the water suspend them over his head. His crossed legs sink into the muck and he patiently waits for his body to settle in the mud.
When he is absolutely still, Loki sends out his spirit. He channels himself through the ocean, letting his ghostly form roam ever downwards. He flows over cliffs, through spiraling forests of hardened ancient lava beds. His spirit sinks down the slopes of sunken mountains, past rusting debris of sunken ships. The creatures on the sea floor flee from his presence, and he turns down a long deep corridor. This dredge though the sand, wider than the Asgardian palace, is the first sign of his quarry.
He follows the winding track down though spires of deep sea vents that are emitting noxious black clouds of sulphur. Loki is glad can't feel the blinding heat from these chimneys in his soul form, and he ghosts through the spewing vents, unhindered.
Loki notices the flow of currents change, and he peers down a deep valley in the darkest part of the ocean. He sends out a tiny thread of magic, and wakes the monster sleeping in the cradle of the ocean floor.
Come to me,
Jǫrmungandr...
The serpent of Midgard stirs at his words, and snaps its hauntingly red eyes open, looking for its master. The snake opens its cavernous mouth and draws in a great mouthful of water before pushing it back out its gills. The action propels the beast forward, and Loki slowly draws the world snake back along the path to where his body sits. He converses with the great animal as it slithers upwards.
I must borrow some of your magic my pet. The Allfather is using mine to gain a foothold onto this world.
I have cut myself off from my magic and left him, and thus myself starved for power.
He has threatened myself and what I hold dear. I cannot resist him alone.
Let me use your deep magic dear pet, and I will strike back at him ten fold.
As Loki's spirit begins to climb back up to the light, he can feel something move around his physical form. He lets go of his spirit form and it rushed back into his body.
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Loki stifles a gasp underwater, not wanting to inhale the cloudy sediment that has been thrown up and over him. His long hair tangles in his face and he wafts it behind him, in an attempt to see. Something large is swimming around him in circles, and he can't get a clear sight on it. It whirrs past him, bright silver flashing from a light in the center of its-
Anthony?
Loki exhales, letting the thunderous bubbles rush to the surface, giving Tony an idea where he is. He lifts the rock from his lap, and stands. His buoyancy is neutral without the air in his lungs, so he gently floats just above the sea floor. The need for air is strong, but he will hold out a little longer for Jormungandr is so close now that he can feel the tingle of his pet's magic through the water.
Loki watches the sliver light of Tony's suit zero in on his location, and a bright light snaps on, momentarily blinding him. He can hear the echo of Tony's quick breath through a respirator. Loki reaches out with his hand and touches the smooth chest piece of his lover's suit. A mechanical arm clamps onto his wrist and pulls it up to the faceplate. Loki wonders what he must look like to his lover.
His glowing blue skin covering his delicate frame, slender hands reached out in curiosity. Dark black hair billowing out around him, obscuring his face in the near dark of the ocean floor. But the eyes, His glowing red eyes promise him everything he's ever wanted. He is an unearthly siren of the sea, a mermaid, calling an unfortunate sailor down to the depths with his hauntingly beautiful melody.
Loki presses into his lovers cold mechanized embrace and brings his lips up to the mouthpiece of the suit. He craves the air Tony breathes, for he must stay underwater just a little longer, and his companion is the only source of life. Bubbles pour from the faceplate and Loki latches onto the mouth slit, inhaling a rush of warm air that tastes faintly of Tony. He can feel the push of air as Tony breathes for him, and Loki greedily takes in several lungfuls. His lover reaches his suit arm around to steady Loki's body in the currents. They embrace each other until Loki is satisfied he can resume unaided. He gives a breathless -thank you- to Tony and pulls away from his faceplate. Tony goes to pull him towards the surface, but Loki shakes his head and points to the darkness below.
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Loki, come with me!
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Tony, I am not yet finished. Wait please.
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Tony sets down beside him and follows his hand into the darkness.
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A soft white glow began to blossom in the depths below them. Loki can feel the water bend to encompass the size of Jormungandr. The current ceases around them, cut off from the sheer bulk of his pet's body. Loki can feel Tony's heartbeat echo through the water and he struggles to free himself from Loki's grip as the world snake comes into view.
A deathly pale glow illuminates the darkness in front of them. The blunted snout pushes up through the muck of the sea floor, scattering boulders and heaving mountains of sand. Tony leans in over him, protecting him from the falling debris. His pet moans, shaking the water around them with the force of its cry. Loki recognizes it as a fond greeting, but he watches in horror as Tony levels a newly unsheathed rocket. Loki twists his arm away, and the tiny rocket spirals off course before exploding and illuminating Jormungandr's crimson eye for a heartbeat. His pet wails in pain, and Loki's ears begin to bleed from the pitch of its scream.
Calm yourself! He is mine, and I will not allow any harm to come to you.
I swear it my pet, please trust me!
The great snake thrashes once before panting on the sea bed. Its quick exhalations clear the water, and at last Loki is able to see him properly. Jormungandr's head engulfs his entire field of vision. It opens its mouth in a massive yawn and its snout nearly touches the sky above. Loki pushes off of the landing and swims towards him, Tony following cautiously behind. He gently lowers himself down to an eyeball that could have covered Stark's entire mansion. The silted eye follows him and it blinks slowly, sending a rush of water at him.
Loki manages to catch onto a gap between scales and he reaches out with both hands to prepare himself for the flow of power. Jormungandr wiggles slightly at this touch and with an inward sigh, he begins to absorb his pet's magic, and the old magic of the ocean itself.
He pulls with every heartbeat, letting it settle into his bones. Loki is in ecstasy as the delicious power floods back into his body. Since the incident at the restaurant a week ago, he has been in agonizing withdrawal from his magic, lest Odin latch onto him again. But now, Loki is in bliss. The deep magic fills his depleted vessel, and he savours the return of so much power at once. He takes one last draw and thanks his pet for lending him his strength.
I will put it to good use my pet, I swear.
Jormungandr takes in a massive amount of water, and tilts his head downwards to begin his decent back into the darkness from whence he came. There is a great flurry of debris and his pet slowly fades away.
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Loki looks to Tony, and points upwards. His lover scoops him up in his arms, and Loki can't resist and draws Tony's faceplate towards his lips. He is nearly blinded with the high of consuming so much magic at once, and he needs to find something to ground himself again. He presses himself up against the metallic mouth and Tony gives him a rush of hot air. He feels the water begin to move around them and realizes that Tony is drifting slowly upwards, mindful not to surface too quickly, lest he succumb to the change in pressure.
The water begins to warm and when Loki can finally see the sunlight he parts from his lingering kiss of life.
He tilts back his head so his hair will fall from his face and they break surface. Tony's flight stabilizers kick up a huge spray of water, and they are airborne.
The warm summer wind blows against his soaking and muddied tunic, and in the time it takes for him to tuck a stray piece of hair behind his ear, Tony lands his suit with a jarring clank against the concrete of his patio. He unceremoniously drops Loki into a lounge chair and turns to glare at him though the white light of his Iron mask.
Loki stretches on the flat chair like a cat basking in a sunbeam. He flips on his back and lets the hot sun warm his cold body. His skin slowly begins to take back his glamoured appearance as his body temperature rises.
The sun... So lovely and warm... He yawns and wiggles his toes, content to take a well earned nap on the chair. . He is giddy with new power and ignores the stomping Iron man beside him. His partner, however, refuses to stay quiet.
"LOKI WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?" Tony barks at him from behind his helmet.
"I was swimming." He smiles coyly.
"SWIM- Loki do you have any idea what- I thought you were dead!" Tony flips open his helmet and Loki's heart sinks. Tony's face is tight with worry and his eyes are wild with fear. He begins to draw in huge gasps of air, and his windpipe begins to whistle as it constricts. He falls to his knees and begins to clutch at the manual release, hands fumbling in the chaos.
In a flash Loki is beside him, twisting the knob, and the top half of the suit falls to pieces. Instead of reaching towards him, Tony pushes him away with a snarl. "Don't you even touch me! I -" His back arches and he falls to the concrete with a sickening smack. Loki goes to cradle his lover, but Tony lashes out, punching him in the stomach.
"You selfish bastard!" Tony rages and takes him by the arms. The Iron man tackles him to the ground, pinning him roughly. His hands are forced above his head and Tony has one knee lodged over his hips, and the metal joints digging painfully into his skin. "I turn away for ten minutes!" Tony yells at him, gasping every word.
"It was not my intention to scare you Anth-" Loki tries to calm his haggard companion down, but Tony refuses to budge.
"Well you fucking did! I lost years off my life back there!" Tony presses his face close to his, so close, that Loki can see the irregular heartbeat in his neck.
"Tony listen, please. I told you I was just swimming." Loki backpedals, and Tony clenches tight on his wrists, making him wince.
"Damn you Loki, you tell me what the hell is wrong with you! You've been moping and distant for days now! Was this some kind of attention thing? Or are you trying to kill yourself by being devoured by a monster?"
Loki uses his strength against Tony, no longer caring to keep up the facade. He throws the iron man off him and into the side of a lawn chair. He will never get into that subject with Tony. He lets his anger slip, venting the last few days of frustration and fury at his partner.
"I was not trying to end my life, Stark." He hisses. " If I say I was swimming, then I was swimming! I can not end my life so easily. I have endured far worse than being eaten, and I will continue to live long after you die!"The moment the words leave his lips, Loki regrets them. The silence is hollow and absolute.
Tony stops. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. He stares with a barely contained rage, just letting his eyes speak the words he cannot form. He climbs to his feet, and summons his armor. The pieces wrap around his torso, up his arms and over his chest. The helmet flies up and Tony catches it before covering his face in his mask.
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"Anthony I did not mean-."
"Shut up! Just don't, Loki."
"Will you let me explain?"
"Don't have to. That's what all this is about, isn't it? I'm going to die long before you, and what, you decided to take things in your own hands?"
"That isn't what I meant! It was a slip, nothing more."
"Nothing more? So me dying is nothing to you then? What am I worth to you Loki?"
"Everything! Why can't you see what I am trying to do?"
"Trying to do? You are still lying to me! I want the truth Loki!"
Hot anger bubbles inside him.
The less you know about Odin and his threats, the safer you would be. Odin will leave you alone as long as you do nothing to provoke him. But Tony, you persist, poking and prodding until you make the world fit into your head. Lying to you is a small price to keep you safe.
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"I am sorry, I can not give you want you ask."
"The hell you are. Just go."
"... What?" Loki stares into the mask of his partner, desperately trying to read his body language.
The iron man pushes him back with a pointed finger. "You heard me! Leave! What is stopping you, huh? If you are so eager to throw away everything we have on a reckless adrenalin fix, then you should leave me, right now."
"You are one to speak, Stark. How is it you got the shards in your chest in the first place? And yet you still take risks when they are not needed! I did not ask you to save me!" Loki screams the words caught in his throat since Jotunheim.
The Iron man suit takes a step forward and looks him right in the eyes. "Maybe I shouldn't have."
Tony's words cut deep, and Loki looks away for a moment to compose himself.
Stark turns on his heels and begins to storm away.
Loki catches his hand as he turns to leave. "Wait... stay with me?" He asks softly. The Iron man freezes in place, and Loki pulls gently on his hand. "I need you... please?" He holds his partner's hand, staring at the back of the helmet, waiting. "Anthony?" he begs, hating himself for wanting everything to be perfect. But it is never perfect for him. Always something wrong, always some piece of himself he thought tucked away, rising to the surface to destroy any good part of his life. That's how he drove Thor away, his family. That's how Laufey and Thanos manipulated him, using his own darkness against him.
Please... Please let me have this one beautiful part of my life. Help me keep the shadows away Tony. They hurt so much. I need your light, your life to keep me whole. Please stay.
Loki patiently watches Tony as the seconds drag out, still holding his hand.
"I -"
-A resonating boom echoes across the water.-
Loki watches in horror as a tidal wave created from Jormungandr's movements crashes into a pier off in the distance. His sensitive ears pick up the screams as the massive wave obliterates a large building on the point.
Tony's hand is ripped from his, and he watches the Iron man soar across the sky without so much as a backwards glance. Loki panics at his abrupt departure. If he stays, there is less chance of things turning for the worse. But If he uses Jormungandr's magic so soon, Odin will undoubtedly come after him again.
Go or stay?
Stay or go?
Loki watches in horror as the building begins to slide into the sea. A multitude of voices cry out in fear and Loki cannot remain deaf to them any longer. If Odin sends a punishment for him, then so be it. He will fight or he will fall. And Loki was never one to give in so easily. He concentrates on the pier, and murmurers a few words of movement and with a gut wrenching yank, he transports himself to the broken pier.
Loki lands on top of the bright yellow roof just as it begins to tip into the foamy torrent below. He is plunged into the frigid waters and tossed head over heels. A limp human form floats past him. Debris and sediment block his vision, and Loki reaches into the depths of Jormungandr's borrowed magic and pushes the water away.
Loki controls the raging sea, moving it away from his body. He lowers himself to the mud on the bottom, and throws his hand forwards with a snarl. The churning abyss retreats, leaving the debris and people behind. The magic is being depleted at an alarming rate, but Loki walks forward, determined to hold the ocean at bay until the Midgardian's make it to shore. Several of the people begin to rouse from the muck, calling for help or loved ones. Loki raises his hands to the sky and the wall of ocean is pushed back a far as he can hold. Those who have recovered from their near drowning begin to haul others out of the muck.
A screech of twisting metal pierces the air, and Loki turns his head back to watch as a joint from the roller coaster pops off its hinges. The cart, full of screaming people, rockets along the path. He is unable to expend any more energy to save them and He can only watch helplessly as the cart reaches the broken rail. It flies off the track and-
There is a flash overhead as Tony catches the cart by the empty front seat. The iron man 's back and feet thrusters flair brightly as he levels out the cart. Something flies out from his kneecaps and suddenly large balloons inflate at the bottom of the cart. Tony keeps the cart level as it falls, and They land with a large bang on the newly opened sea floor. The balloons burst on impact, and the people are severely jostled, but unharmed.
Loki watches in amazement as his partner untangles himself from the twisted front end, and rockets up to stabilize the now wavering Ferris wheel.
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Loki turns his attentions to holding back the massive wall of water. The people have begun to run past him now, making their way to the safety of the beach. A lone infant still strapped to its seat, sits howling in the mud. Loki looks around in vain for someone to help, but the squalling babe is left unheard.
"The Infant!" he yells at a crowd of people, but they are too blind with panic to hear him. Suddenly something bashes him in the back of his head, sending him sprawling in the muck. His concentration lost, the wall of ocean crashes down. He screams in defiance and fury as a wave crashed towards the helpless babe. With a desperate lunge, he curls his body around it and creates a small dome with his magic. The water pours over top of them, and the poor babe screams in terror. Loki yanks off the little harness and clutches the sobbing infant to his chest, waiting for the world to cease spinning. When he gains his composure, he gingerly stands. The water pushes against his green barrier and he realizes that he can no-longer see the surface.
"I am sorry little one. We will have to walk." Loki looks down to the little boy, who is coughing violently in his arms. He quickly places a palm over the tiny chest, and searches for the cause of the infant's distress. The babe wheezes as Loki goes over his lungs, and he sends out a thread of his magic. He places his hand just above the tiny mouth, and slowly draws the water from the babe's lungs. It coughs several times and as Loki pulls the last droplets out, he sighs contently.
"Is that better?' He coos and the babe snuggles up to his chest, seeking comfort. Loki smiles and runs a finger under his small chin. "Let us search for your mother." The babe clutches his finger tightly in his hand and Loki's heart swells with an unfamiliar sensation. He smiles as he walks through the mud holding the infant lovingly to his chest.
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After a little while, his shield breaches the surface and he lets it fall once the water has reached his waist. Loki scans the line of people on the shore, searching for the parent. A large gasp makes him turn back to the water and Loki watches the soldier -Captain America- emerge from the water. He rests his hands on his knees for a moment to catch his breath. Loki goes absolutely still, not wanting to draw attention to himself. The babe however, gurgles in delight and happily kicks his feet in Loki's arms. The Captain looks up and Loki watches the whites of his eyes grow large.
"Loki, It doesn't have to end this way. Give the kid to me, and I'll let you go." The soldier demands firmly, but Loki can sense the fear in his voice.
"I will not surrender him to you. I am looking for-" He begins but the soldier cuts him off.
"Loki don't you think you've caused enough suffering today? Look around you. Isn't this enough? Please, don't hurt the child." The Captain pleads with him, but Loki can see his grip tighten on the shield. His eyes follow the shining silhouette and he notices a small chip in the paint around the rim. Warm blood begins to drip down the back of his neck and Loki snarls at the Captain.
"This chaos is your doing!" he spits, gesturing to the debris strewn waters. "I was the one holding the waves aside while they ran. I was the one who saved this child from drowning after you saw fit to attack me without warning. Where is your honour now Captain? Left beneath the waves I think."
Loki watches the Captain struggle with the realization that he could have drowned the babe unintentionally.
"Now if you will excuse me I must locate his parents. Be a good boy and assist Stark will you? I believe he requires someone else's help." Loki turns to leave the flustered soldier behind him and walks onto the beach. A man's voice begins to ring out in the crowd.
"Sam? Oh god! Sam!Has anyone seen my son?" A young man frantically pushes through he crowd. He locks his eyes onto the little bundle in Loki's arms and runs into the water. The man wraps his arms around him and begins to sob into his tunic.
"My sweet baby boy! Oh Sam!" he cries taking the smiling babe from his arms. The father quickly checks his son over for injury, and finding none, he embraces Loki again. "I don't know how you did it." he gasps, tears falling onto his chest. "He was ripped away from me, I thought-" His voice tightens up and Loki places a re-assuring hand on his shoulder. "Your son is very brave for one so young. He called out for help and I was able to find him thus."
The blubbering man looks up to him, eyes spilling over with emotion. "Thank you! Thank you for saving my baby." He kisses him on the cheek and Loki is riveted to the spot. He swallows uncomfortably and the man looks up at him. "Sam is all I have left. His father, my husband, was killed in New York when... those monsters came from the sky." He begins to sob again and Loki stops breathing. "One of the big ones landed on our apartment when he was home and he.. he..."
Loki gently pushes the man away, disgust at himself clawing at his throat. "Your babe is safe. Go and care for him." Loki turns and fixes his sight back to Stark's manor.
"Wait!" the man asks, holding back his hand. The touch burns his skin with shame and he goes to leave, but the man holds him firm. "I didn't even get your name!" He asks and Loki begins his spell of movement.
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"Monster." he whispers and disappears in a cloud of smoke.
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Loki stays away from Tony the rest of the day and evening. He goes back to the beach and stands in the water up to his chest. He lets himself be buffeted by the waves again and again. He refuses to use his magic and only keeps himself afloat by sheer force of will. He stays in the water throughout the night, letting the ocean punish his useless body until he struggles to keep his head above water. He keeps himself in the cold and dark waters long after the moon has reached its zenith. Each time he falls beneath the waves, another life he has ruined flashes behind his eyes. Each face he burns into his mind, and there they haunt him.
As the sun finally rises, he crawls exhausted onto the beach. He covers up his bruised and battered body with his glamour and walks barefoot up to the house, letting the rocks dig into his feet.
He wanders through the house and up the stairs to Tony's bedroom. He pauses at the door, hand just touching the threshold.
Would he be forgiven? Would he be welcomed into Tony's arms no-matter his flaws?
Loki turns back from the door and walks down the stairs. "It will be easier this way." he whispers to himself as he lets his exhausted body fall on the hard floor of the guest room. He won't even allow himself the comfort of a bed. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve the kindness Tony has shown him.
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"Could this man really love him?" The question rips at his heart.
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For once he does not know the answer. He asks his question to the cool night air and receives nothing in return.
"How could anyone love a monster?"