perception
real-placebo-effect
.
star
.
take my hand
it's because the two of us are fragile and imperfect
that we'll stay holding hands forever
starless night, i won't look back on the shadow of my past
i want to feel your warmth
tears falling down; even when i'm lost
i won't let go of your hand
starless night; Olivia
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thursday, september 1st, 1941
9:00 AM
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Tom's foot tapped with nervous energy as he waited for the Express to take off towards Hogwarts, for another year. It surprised him that he was already a fifth year. Soon, he would take his OWLs, then his NEWTs and then—and Tom didn't know what he would do after Hogwarts. He had ideas, of course, but they were far too sketchy. What hadn't surprised him was the badge that arrived with his list of books – Tom was a Prefect this year.
The train hooted suddenly and Tom sighed watching carelessly and dispassionately the parents jogging to catch up with the train to wave at their children. It's a wonder that they haven't been discovered by the rest of the world yet, considering how loud they can be.
Tom had gotten distracted last year, he knew, due to the girl's arrival. But this year—this year, he would find out exactly who his parents were. This year, he would find out exactly who he was.
No matter what the cost.
.
"Hello." She said, a smile gracing her face as he caught her wrist, her fingers absently tracing runes on his skin.
"Hello." He grinned back, boyishly. She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it softly before rolling out of the comfortable warmth of the bed, slipping on the white shirt he'd had on last night. She buttoned up most of the buttons before sending him a mischievous look and running downstairs.
The man groaned – this meant he'd have to leave the comfort of his bed as well, but got up anyways, sliding on a pair of black slacks; the other half of last night's attire. He walked downstairs lazily, not bothering to hurry or make a fuss. Just languid and easy steps, matching the atmosphere of the day so far, the first few soft sunlight rays pouring in, illuminating the household in a warm, fresh gold.
By the time he'd reached the kitchen, the smell of eggs cooking reached him and he grinned wolfishly, walking up behind the slightly humming woman and pressing a gentle kiss to her nape. She tilted her head back and her lips curved in a relaxed smile.
"Breakfast, yeah?" She asked and he made an assenting noise. He paused suddenly and that made her stiffen. There seemed to be an immediate change in the atmosphere and he let her go.
"We...need to talk."
Sighing deeply, she switched off the stove and turned to face him. he looked ohso handsome, his dair hair falling over his ashen eyes. Pale skin contrasting with everything. The longest eyelashes she'd ever seen. A strong, angular jawline. He was beautiful, and he was hers.
But not for long, the horrid, horrid voice in her head whispered maliciously.
"I-I don't know how to...I just..." He tried to speak, but the words got all caught and mangled in his throat. He cleared it and tried again – because she was worth it. Worth more. "I mean...we're at war. I know that, I do. But you – you're the best thing I have ever, ever had. Better than my OWL grades and Quidditch and running away. You're just – you. And I want you here, with me, for forever until the end of time."
He was gushing, he knew it, but all he could concentrate on was how fucking beautiful she looked in his shirt, her lips split apart in surprise, green eyes almost molten gold in the early morning sunlight and how soft her hair looked.
"Marry me, Naomi?"
"Oh – Merlin – I just...I – " Naomi stuttered, unable to answer. She could see him breaking in front of her and she couldn't-wouldn't-shouldn't stand for the little light in his darkdark eyes to go out like that. So, despite the tingle in her spine that screamed NONONO and despite her heart which cried NONONO and despite her very soul shrieking NONONO Naomi said, with a happy laugh –
"Yes, Sirius Black. Yes, I will marry you."
.
7:45 PM
.
Getting off the train had been – this time around – been a relatively harmless process. Tom had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with his shiny new badge, but he couldn't be sure. Either way, Tom had sat in a carriage by himself, surrounded by what it seemed were third year Ravenclaws. Better than the alternatives, Tom mused.
Time seemed to evaporate as they approached Hogwarts, which was alit from the inside making the shadows that covered the walls appear even darker and inkier. The image of the castle looming above them so sent a shiver of apprehension down Tom's back and his fingers itched for his wand.
He resisted the urge as he stepped down from the carriage, hurrying to get inside before any of his House mates could catch up to him. Tom walked into the Great Hall with a few of the students from years above him and chose a non-descript seat that was still in a good position to watch everything; near the front but close enough to the middle to not be caught off-guard.
Tom waited patiently while the Great Hall filled with students chattering amicably, studying them with slight disdain.
But, he was patient, nonetheless.
.
7:42 PM
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"—and that's there is to it, really." Dippet finally finished, closing the manila file with a sound slap. A small wave of his hand and it was entered into an ambiguous-looking cabinet. Frowning suddenly, the Headmaster flipped out his pocket watch gasping at the time.
"Oh, dear me! We're going to be late! Late, late, late. Come along!" He ordered Naomi who sat there looking dumbfounded.
"But, sir, I haven't been Sorted –"
"Oh, yes. Well, we'll just have to sort you with the first years, then. Nothing else to be done, I'm afraid. Come along, or else we'll be terribly late!"
Left eye twitching slightly, Naomi followed the anally retentive Headmaster to the Great Hall.
.
7:46 PM
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"Well, it appears as though our esteemed Headmaster will be a bit late. No doubt caught up in paperwork. So, perhaps, I shall take over this year's speech." Dumbledore mused to the students who smiled warmly in return.
"Welcome all to Hogwarts; new faces and old faces. Before the Sorting, I would like to remind all of you that nothing is dictated. Fate does not rule unless you allow it to. So, let's begin!"
With those supposedly enigmatic words, the Sorting Hat was set on the stool and the rim opened up, the Hat readying itself for its' yearly song.
"There is more than what appears,
Though you have to dig deep,
Don't fear, my child, the end is near,
But now's not the time to weep.
Four Houses are disunited,
Suspicions high and low,
Now's not for the short-sighted,
Let your inhibitions go.
The snakes aren't to be trusted,
Or that is what they say,
But trust me, you'll be busted,
Without their subtle way!
The lions are too brash,
That's just what they see,
But the world might just crash,
Without any nobility.
The eagles are too smart,
That is why they contest,
But you'll wish to be a part,
When they are the very best.
The beavers are too boring,
All of you complain,
But can any of you bring,
That effort to the game?
Open your mind and see,
Accept just who we are,
It matters not to me;
Your House is not a mar!
History is rewritten, and fates defied,
Friend and foe, out and in,
Be not afraid,
For now we begin."
There was a nervous applause at the end of the Hat's song and Tom's mind was whirling. What? But before he could contemplate any further, the first name was called out.
"Andes, Morgan!"
The war? Is it talking about the war?
"Ellen, Noah."
Let your inhibitions go...that's pretty much permission for everyone to get sodding drunk, isn't it? Or—
"Hawthorne, Diana."
—to run free? Follow your heart's path. Sounds insufferably Gryffindor to me.
"Lightdawn, Marina."
Foes from within?
"Nott, Joanna."
Something is changing. But what?
"Parkinson, Rowan."
—What's changed this year? What's so – so different this year?
"Queen, Samantha."
Change – this isn't good.
"Tanner, Olaf."
Change is never good.
"Vienna, Deidre."
Scanning the Head table, Tom's grey eyes narrowed as he watched the teachers murmur in undertones to each other, some faces paler than others. This put him on guard – even Dumbledore had faint creases of worry around his eyes and brow.
"Wood, Olivia."
Speaking of Dumbledores...Tom scanned the Great Hall in detail, keeping an eye out for a cascade of black waves or a hint of bright green eyes but found nothing. ...Where is she? She was planning on attending Hogwarts, was she not?
"Yaxley, Damien."
"SLYTHERIN!"
"Zabini, Avis."
"RAVENCLAW!"
Sighing in slight annoyance – rather than the number of first years reducing due to war, they seemed to be increasing more than anything – Tom leaned forwards, keen to catch whatever words Dumbledore would say next.
"And that, my dears, is the end of the first year Sorting! Now –" Before he could finish, a pair of doors near the back – the teacher's usual exit – opened and Dippet hurried in and onto the podium, thanking Dumbledore briefly.
"I'd like to – pant – introduce everybody to – pant – a lovely young – sigh – woman from – pant, pant – the Bast and Isis Institution of Magical Exper – gasp – tise." Dippet stopped there, gulping down the glass of water helpfully given by Dumbledore. He cleared his throat and continued, dream-eyes suddenly sharp. "I expect you all to treat her with the respect befitting of any Hogwarts student."
"Without any further ado, Deluna, Naomi!" Dippet exclaimed, the tone from earlier gone and replaced with a cheerful one. The Hall immediately burst into excited whispers and Tom strained his ears to catch the murmurs.
"—Deluna! I can't believe –"
" – She's practically –"
"—No wonder Dippet –"
"—that's ridiculous, she can't be –"
"—school's in Egypt, what's she doing h– "
The students were soon silenced as she walked out, none other than Naomi Dumbledore – no, Deluna. She stepped out, face determined and stubborn. Gryffindor, he predicted. More whispers broke out across the Hall as the students took in the assorted bangles on her right wrist and the two rings on her left hand. Around her neck, there were at least three necklaces that he could see; a thin piece of dark brown material – most likely leather – with what seemed like runes tattooed onto it, a slightly longer thick black cord with a weird symbol he didn't recognise as a pendant and finally an extremely long chain with small golden ring on the end.
She held her head high as she walked up to the stool and sat on it, the Hat on her head, ready to be Sorted.
.
Naomi. It has been a while. And I have a feeling you know where I'm going to put you, so let's use this time productively, hmm?
Hat, I've said this once already, but allow me to say it again. You're a bastard, really.
You're talking to a Hat. Who's the freak now? …Naomi, Fate lied.
I—wait, what do you mean? If you say that there really is no possibly way to stop To-er, Voldemort, then I will burn you.
Listen to me, you stupid child. I am Timeless. I am Sorting you now, I am Sorting you in your past and I am saying this to a past you as well. Time does not affect me. I know who you are. And let me tell you now, Fate is lying. Or at least, your interpretation of what he said is wrong.
Meaning what exactly?
Child, we don't have much time and that's all Destiny has permitted me to say. Remember, Serafina is alive in this realm. Do not challenge her too much. Tom Riddle, you can help him. You don't need to destro—oh, wait. You've come to that realisation already. My, my, who'd have thought the Darkest wizard of all time would be your B—
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Hat, what did you say to Riddle when he was Sorted?
Oh, so it's Riddle now is it? Okay, okay, stop thinking about burning things, would you? Thank you. He wanted to be in Ravenclaw. I was wavering between Gryffindor and Slytherin.
What? How could you even consider—
That's not for you to know, idiot. Not yet, anyway. You will see, soon enough. Now, listen, I will be here, if you have no other option. My Legillimency is unparalleled and I can help in any way you need. Good. So, we agree, I'm sending you to Hufflepuff?
No! You prat! I need to be in Ravenclaw. Where else am I going to gather information to stop him from becoming, well, You-Know-Who?
In Hufflepuff, obviously. Listen, I know you and I know best. So shut up and go to Helga's already!
No, I refuse. I need to be in Ravenclaw, you shoe. What in the name of Salazar's left toenail am I going to do in Hufflepuff?
Naomi, calm down. I know what I'm doing. You're going to need to be in Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw and Slytherin have such Dark connotations and it's the last thing you need, no matter how Slytherin you are in reality. You need to appear as a Light witch, you can't let anyone ever know. Appearances are a must if you want to succeed. Hufflepuff are going to be your support. Now –
No, wait, Hat–
.
"HUFFLEPUFF!" The Hat roared deafeningly. Standing up, the girl's face darkened as she slammed the Hat down onto the stool, stalking furiously off to the table. A few of the first years screamed as the Hat began to smoke and a small purple flame lit it up.
"Aguamenti!" Dumbledore cast quickly, drenching the Hat who seemed to splutter. Tom noticed the Hufflepuffs were looking a bit wary of their new addition. He couldn't blame them. The whole Hall seemed to be.
"W-well, then…welcome back and have a great feast!" Dippet announced quickly, eager to leave the students to their own devices. The food appeared and Tom took a good helping of everything he could see, but kept a close eye on Du–Deluna who seemed more at odds with her House than her House was with her.
.
Just as I'd taken the first sip of my pumpkin juice, a tentative tap came on my shoulder. I turned to see someone incredibly familiar. Amelia...?
"Hey, Naomi. I'm Ella Bones. We're gonna be sharing dorms. How 'bout you come sit with us? I'd love to introduce you to some people." Ella said. She had full lips, dark eyes and dark brown hair and she seemed friendly enough, I suppose. I nodded, smiling at her as O rose from my seat, following her further along to where I presumed her friends sat.
"—and my mum was so shocked, I swear. Merlin, I was just relieved she hadn't walked in a few minutes earlier. Geddit? Relieved?" A light brown-haired male chuckled to the group he was whispering to— CONSTANT VIGILANCE and sharp, sharp eyes; all-seeing and all-knowing and—
"Ignore this idiot. He is Alastor Moody, after all." Ella informed me jokingly, poking her thumb in his direction. Moody – falling, falling, falling from the sky and landing in a thudding lump and – grinned at Ella before saluting towards me. At his movements, the other members of the group turned around as well, looking towards Ella almost enquiringly.
"Guys this is, obviously, Naomi Deluna. This is Callum Diggory –" She gestured to a honey blonde that looked vaguely like Amos, in my opinion, that twat. " – and this is Melissa Edgecombe –" a swift nod in her direction and the girl beamed towards Ella and I.
"—Nadirah Shacklebolt – " A stunning, dark skinned, grey eyed girl (who looked nothing like Kingsley, mind) inclined her head to me. "—Linus Jones, pervert of our year –" a Metamorphamagi by the looks of it as he changed his hair to a neon purple and grinned at me.
"—Damien McKinnon, stoic extraordinaire –" McKinnon...he would be a powerful wizard, I knew, as his dark eyes swept over me carelessly. "—and Angelica Smith." A redhead with Zacharias' eyes, I noted, but there was an air of serenity. I immediately took a liking to her.
"Pleased to meet all of you. You're all fifth years, right?" I asked, keeping a tone of friendliness in my voice.
"Yes, we are. Well, except for Alastor. He's a fourth year." Alastor scowled at Nadirah's slightly derisive tone, although he couldn't maintain it for long after he saw the slight sparkle in her eye.
"Oh, shush, Nads. You know I'm smarter than you are."
"Says the boy who took about twenty minutes to get Sorted. I bet you nearly wet yourself, thinking you were a Squib."
"Yeah, well, you were going to be a Gryffindork, weren't –"
"We're pleased to have you with us, Naomi." Damien's low voice cut through the petty argument smoothly and the others retreated into silence, shocked no doubt by the fact that he spoke – and to a stranger, as well.
"It's good to be here, Damien." A small smile touched his lips before the inane chatter continued around me and I sunk into Hufflepuff House, hoping I could maintain anonymity.
.
"Riddle! Riddle! Tom!" Tom turned just in time for Naomi to run into him, her arms around his neck. Embracing him. Tom's eyebrows rose in surprise as she pulled back, a slight flush on her face from sprinting, and the group of Hufflepuffs she'd spent the Feast with were trailing behind her. "How are you? How was the rest of your summer? Dreadfully boring without me, I know. Could we catch up sometime? I have so much to tell you and I have this really awesome new –"
"Naomi," Abraxas Malfoy's voice exclaimed and Naomi stiffened before turning to face him with a polite smile on her face. "Or do you prefer seithr-kona?"
"Hardly, Lord Malfoy."
Abraxas raised an eyebrow at that but continued to smile disarmingly. "Call me Abraxas; Lord Malfoy is my father. I would like to introduce you to Slytherin House."
"The rest of, you mean?" Naomi asked, sharply, still not relinquishing her hold on Tom's wrist. "I am hoping this won't take long? I should like to be settled in my dormitory by curfew."
Abraxas let out a laugh but his eyes were sharp and derisive, focused on Tom. "It won't take too long, my Lady."
He gestured toward the group of Slytherins and Naomi smiled back, forcing Tom to follow by tugging on his wrist. Abraxas's eyes flickered towards him for a moment in contemplation, but he was mercifully silent.
"These are the Black siblings; Alphard, Cygnus and Orion." Each respective brother shook the hand that was proffered to them, placing gentle kisses on her inner wrist.
"Deivid Rowle, Eileen Prince –" She exchanged a kiss on the cheek with Eileen.
"—Marianne Bulstrode, Adrian Goyle, Druella Rosier, Armand Nott –" The following males placed kisses on her outer wrist.
"Aksel Mulciber, Sevastien Dolohov, Serena Selwyn and Cherilyn Carrow –" The two females, both in the year below, merely curtsied to Naomi who inclined her head towards them. "—and Juniper Parkinson."
"We welcome you to Hogwarts, Lady Deluna, and hope your time here is pleasurable." Juniper stated, bowing low. Naomi flushed.
"There is no need for such formality. I am not going to be Head of the family for a very, very long time. Besides, we're all students!" She gave a nervous laugh here, her anxious gaze flickering towards the small crowd that had gathered around them. Cygnus laughed back softly.
"Indeed, Miss Deluna." He paused as Abraxas breathed in sharply but quietly. When it became apparent that Naomi wasn't going to hex him for dropping the Lady, he continued. "We merely felt it suitable. We would not want you to think that we are uncouth and animal-like."
Naomi kept smiling but her eyes turned frosty, the same way they had when she'd confronted Leon during the summer. "I am sure, Black. It was a – pleasure to meet you all and I hope to talk to you soon. Goodnight."
With that, she turned away from the Slytherins but paused and faced Tom. She smiled warmly at him. "Goodnight, Riddle. It seems we have to talk some other time."
Stupid girl. Tom knew exactly what she was doing. Naomi had some kind of political power and was exerting it – on him.