A/N: Hey people,

It's getting harder to write, very different.

I hope you like this.

Season 3 Episode 4 = Children of the dark.

Pissed couldn't even start to described how mad I was.

How dare him, how petty of him, I was so angry, the bastard had gone too far, and she was not in the mood. She had being the first one on the plane, and had decided to get on the first chair and kept her eyes straight ahead, the other would know she did not want conversation.

But the bastard decided to ignore that and seat in front of her, she didn't give him any attention, she believed he would stop at that, so she just turned her head to the window and kept ignoring him.

"Prentiss I…" And that was the end of the peace and quiet, so she just got up and moved to seat somewhere else. And he better start taking a hint, the next step was a fat lip.

The plane was quiet and she could hear him talking to Haley, asking to speak to Jack and a feeling of jealousy filled her making her sad and alone, was it too wrong to ask for that, she knew she didn't deserve it, but when other people showed it to her, she got ashamed.

When she was sixteen she had thrown away any chances of ever becoming a mother. The operation had gone wrong and the butcher that had done it just explained that her chance of ever caring a pregnancy to term was very slim.

She had never told her mother the extend of the complications that happened, after years of hiding what had happened in Italy she had told her mother of the most horrendous thing she had ever done, she had expected to be banned, scorned even, but her mother had just gathered her in her arms and cried with her, for the baby that was never born.

Her father had never being told, of the pregnancy or that at the end she had was left crippled, and without any reason to ever find peace on the subject.

For most of her life she had believed that it was God's way of preventing her of having children, forbidding her of being a mother. She truly thought it was for the best that no kid should be subjected to her, and that had deeply depressed her.

And then she was offered to adopt a child, someone trusted her enough, loved her enough that he had offered her his own child, to love and to care for, she had almost taken it. It took everything in her not to give in, not to disappear with him and the little boy. To form a family, forget obligations, forget duty, her past and her mistakes, she had almost done it.

But things had caught up with her, she knew what she needed to do, and loved that little boy so much that she would protect that precious boy, even from his own father, even if it killed her.

She dried her eyes as she hear the rest of the team get on the airplane, that part of her life needed to go back to the back of her mind, it was over and done with, no turn backs. She looked outside, the night was calm and the sky clean, they would probably have a very quiet flight home. JJ sat in front of her, taking her mind away back to reality.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"They are good people, Carrie's family." Did that mean what I thought it would mean?

"Good. I'm glad."

"I think it's a good idea thought."

"What's that?"

"You. Kids." He had actually talked about it with other people, he had discussed me, this private matter, my anger turned ten times worse, he was an abusing his position, and she had a damn problem with it. "I can see it."

She knew JJ was trying to pacify things, and not only because of their ass of a boss. She and the girls had become closer in the last few months, they had shared a little, and she knew JJ understood. And for some reason she felt better at what JJ said.

"Yeah?" JJ nodded and her mind went back to the little boy, to the baby that was never born and to Carrie. Maybe right now wasn't the appropriate time, but maybe she could think about it, make plans, organize it, and maybe she should start talking about it, about bringing a baby home.

Morgan brings beer to JJ and me, I stay in my seat but I tune them out, the thing that Carrie said about being too late to be a good daughter and asking if there were any happy families was so sad. She had lost everything and she didn't know what else to do.

My thoughts turned back to my mother, she had asked me to go to a party at the embassy with her and dad, I always hated those things, so I had used dad's and my fight to get out of it. But I guess I could make an effort, she had said that he was probably not coming and there were even people from the FBI going, so she wasn't going to be just surrounded by idiot politicians that had a second agenda for everything.

She would call the ambassador when she got home, she could still go out to get a dress before tomorrow night, and since they had just gotten back they were probably not going to go away anytime soon.

As the plane touched down and we were all leaving the plane I realized that I was one of the last ones and that Hotch was behind me, so I stopped and waited for JJ to get out and then turned to him.

"I get it, you are the boss, and it doesn't matter other people's feelings, and that you don't like me but that's all fine, but start talking about my personal life again sir, and things will get ugly, have a nice night." I turned my back to him and quickly went down the stairs.

Instead of going home and getting into a sad state of eating and being miserable I decided to go for a run, clear my mind, and just tire myself out, best way to let the anger go. He was such a hypocrite, he never says anything about his personal life, and as a matter of fact he never makes other people's business public, so what was this? Personal attack or just showing me my place?

It started to rain, but I just kept running, which probably wasn't a good idea, but I was angry, and by the time I had no energy left and went back to my apartment I was just as wet as I was exhausted.

And for my absolutely displeasure waiting in front of my front door was The Bastard, I had gone back to my special nickname for him. I really didn't want to talk, especially with him, but from the looks of things, we were going to go at it.

"Go away." I said going to my door without looking directly at him.

"We need to talk."

"We don't need to do anything. You need to leave." I started unlocking my door, never had regretted the three locks before today.

"Prentiss.."

"No, you don't get a chance to talk, I believe you talked enough to me, and about me for the time being." I opened the door and stepped inside, I was just about to close the door when he started getting difficult.

"Look I know you are mad, but we are talking. Tonight." After taking his foot of the door and pushing his way inside, he closed the door and looked at me. "Go change and I'll wait."

I lifted an eyebrow.

"I don't want you to get sick." I crossed my arms and waited.

"You have five minutes to talk." He looked resigned and huffed before starting.

"Look, I was out of line, but I can't let you adopt every lost kid we find on cases. I needed to give you a shock of reality because you know how hard this job is, and how hard it is to back off when we need to. I never had to worry about you getting too attached on cases, or getting emotional or loosing it, and I'll admit that I handled this wrong." He started to walk around. "But damn it Prentiss, you can't do that now, I can't start worrying about you. Morgan is still dealing with Chicago, JJ and Reid are still seeing the psychologist, Gideon is gone and I am seriously loosing it."

Ok, that got my attention.

What The Hell.

"Look…"

"No, I'm not done." He interrupted me looking at me out of breath and with a intense look. "I'm sorry I told JJ about this, but most of the times, I don't know how to handle you, every single time I think I know how you'll react you surprise me, and more times then not, you do it by getting angry at me." He threw his hands up. "I told her because I thought it would be good to have someone to talk to, another woman on the job that is childless, but hey, you get pissed."

"Hotch."

"No, I haven't had a woman give that many missed signals since Haley, between the two of you I'm getting insane. And I realized that I did some things wrong, but I honestly didn't mean to, I just wanted to make sure you knew that this is a hard decision that we have to deal with almost every day on this job." He sat on the couch and rested his head in his hands. "I just need to know you are okay."

I was completely lost, and from the looks of it he had just lost it in my leaving room.

"I'm okay." I mean, what do you tell your boss when he is clearly in the middle of a break down? I had never heard him talk like that, ever.

"Good, good." Both of us stayed in a very awkward silence.

"Hotch. Are you okay?"

"No."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Well the guy was down, I had to ask.

"Not particularly." He looked up. "Can we drink? Like last time?"

"Ahhh…..Sure." He wanted to stay and drink, that was normal, note on the sarcasm. Loosing it, having a break down, call it what you want, the man wasn't fine.

"Okay" I was just debating leaving the man alone or not to go change when he got up and went to my cabinet and got the bottle of whiskey, well at least I knew he was staying. "I'm going to change, I'll be back."

"Emily." I turned back as I heard my first name.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. And thank you." I nodded and turned back to walk upstairs.