Author's Note: Yes, I know! I don't own Harry Potter! There, now no one can sue me…for this anyway… ;)

Chapter 3 The New Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher

Alex and Hermione walked through the familiar oak front doors and into the Great Hall. They looked up at the dark ceiling that reflected the night sky. Alex searched around and saw Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown waving at her. She ran over to them and hugged them.

"Hey guys, how were your summers?" she asked them.

"Great," said Parvati, "I went to visit my family in India and I met the cutest boy ever!"

"My family decided to go RVing in the English countryside," said Lavender forlornly, "It was a drag, just a bunch of hills and sheep. Needless to say I didn't meet any hot guys along the way. How about you two?"

Hermione and Alex told them about their summers. Alex had just finished when the Headmaster got up and silence filled the room. Professor McGonagall came in with the line of first years. Alex barely paid attention to the reading of the names until the last one.

"Weasley, Ginevra."

Ginny looked too scared to be upset by the snickering of her name. She walked up the stool and put on the ancient hat. It didn't take long for the hat to reach its decision.

"GRYFFINDOR!" it shouted.

All the Weasleys and the rest of Gryffindor house cheered loudly. It was a long time before the Headmaster could continue because Fred and George were still applauding and trying to keep up the shouting. Finally, after a stern look from McGonagall, they stopped and sat down in their seats with identical grins on their faces. Professor Dumbledore smiled at them before he began.

"I have only a few start-of-term notices before we enjoy a wonderful meal. First, in case many of you were wondering, we do in fact have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year," said Professor Dumbledore. He said this because there were no new teachers at the High Table.

"Not Snape, anything but Snape," whispered Fred.

"I'll be taught by a flobberworm, just not him," said George.

"What's the difference?" said Alex, which resulted in laughter from the twins and another stern look, but this time from Hermione.

"Unfortunately," continued the Headmaster, "He had urgent business to attend to tonight, but he will be back for tomorrow's lessons. He also wished me not to tell you his name, he wants it to be a surprise for everyone."

"Oh no," groaned Alex as she craned her neck for her least favorite teacher, "He's not there."

"He would love to surprise all of us, wouldn't he?" said Fred through gritted teeth. "He'd love to see the looks on our faces when we walk in there and see him."

It was apparent that many of the students had the same thoughts as Fred. They too were craning their necks and groaning quietly. Professor Dumbledore waited for complete silence before continuing.

"Also, Mr. Filch, our caretaker, has asked me to remind you yet again that there is a list of banned items from Hogwarts. See Mr. Filch's office door for that…ah…long list of items. I also hope that, to the older students, this is not new news. The Forbidden Forest is, in fact, forbidden to all Hogwarts students. Now, let the feast begin."

Alex let out a cry of joy as food appeared on the plates. She looked around, expecting to see Ron piling his plate of food, but he was not at the table.

"Hey Percy," called Alex to the older of the Weasley boys, "Where's Ron?"

"Dunno, thought he was with you. It's not my turn to watch him," said Percy.

Alex rolled her eyes at the older Weasley but was starting to worry now. She thought that if Ron and Harry missed the train, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would find a way to get them to Hogwarts. Alex put this worry in the back of her mind. They would be here. Harry loved Hogwarts more than anywhere else in the world. He would find a way to get back no matter what.

After Alex finished her desert, the plates were cleared and she followed Percy to the Gryffindor common room. She went up the stairs to the girl's dormitories and saw that where her old room was a plaque now read Year 2 instead of Year 1. She ran to her old bed and jumped on it. Hermione grabbed her old bed as well and they waited for the other three girls. Parvati and Lavender came in and grabbed the beds farthest from the door.

"Maggie isn't gonna be happy," said Lavender in a sing-song voice.

"She should've gotten here early," said Alex, shrugging her shoulders.

Maggie was their other roommate. She had wanted to be in Slytherin and took her anger out on everyone around her. Alex and Maggie had fought a few times about her attitude, but Alex didn't let that bother her.

The door opened and Maggie walked in. She looked around and saw the only empty bed. Sighing audibly, she sat on the bed and drew the bed curtains around her. Alex rolled her eyes and muttered something like "Drama Queen" before getting ready for bed in the bathroom. As she went over to her bed, she looked for her bag.

"All right, which one of you took my bag?" said Alex, trying to keep her voice light. She had a gut feeling she knew who took it. She was proven right when Hermione pointed to the still closed curtains of Maggie's bed. "Maggie!" she half shouted, "Where the bloody hell is my bag?"

"Don't get so angry for Merlin's sake!" said Maggie as she opened her curtains.

"You took my stuff. Trust me, you're lucky I'm not jinxing you into the next century right now!" snapped Alex.

"I'll give you your stupid bag back if we switch beds. I had the bad bed last time," she said.

"If you don't give me my bag, I will jinx you until you can't tell which way is up or down," said Alex, pulling out her wand and wielding it menacingly.

"Alex, stop it," said Hermione, grabbing Alex's wand arm. "It's in the common room, under the couch farthest from the fire."

Alex pocketed her wand and went down the stairs. Hermione was right, it was under the couch. She checked to make sure all her stuff was in there when she heard the portrait hole open. She looked up and let out a cry.

"Harry, Ron, you're all right!" she said as she ran over to them. "Where were you? We've all been so worried! What's that on your face, Ron?" she said as she looked at a cut on the side of Ron's cheek.

"We couldn't get through the barrier," said Harry.

"I can tell this is going to be a long story and you two look tired. Tell me everything tomorrow morning. Night!" she said as she went up to her dormitory.

After making it perfectly clear that whoever touched her things without permission would receive a very painful jinxing, Alex climbed into bed and fell straight to sleep.

The next morning Alex woke up early and was the first one out of the bathroom. As she waited for the others to get ready, she packed her schoolbooks into her bag. She also wore her favorite jeans under her robes, just to make her feel more comfortable. She was slipping them on when something fell out of the pocket. Alex picked it up and saw it was her favorite picture of her mother and her friends. She smiled as she put the picture back in her pocket, just so that her mother would be with her on her first day back.

Alex went down to breakfast with Hermione and sat across from Harry and Ron. They both looked better than the night before, much more rested and their bruises were healing nicely.

"All right, what happened to you two?" asked Hermione in her matronly voice, which could only mean they were in trouble.

"Well, we couldn't get through the barrier to the platform, so we decided to take my dad's car. It flies, you see," he added seeing a questioning look on Hermione's face.

"We found the school fine," said Harry, "But the car ran out of gas and we ran into a tree."

"Of course, we had to land in the only tree in all of Hogwarts that doesn't like being hit," Ron said, pointing to the scratch on his face.

"You mean, the tree hit you back?" asked Alex, looking surprised.

"Not just us, the car was pretty beaten up too," said Harry, "The tree's called the Whomping Willow. The name fits perfectly. We managed to get out fine, but Snape caught us on the way to the doors."

"Are you two expelled?" asked Hermione.

"Surprisingly not," said Ron, "McGonagall told us we had to do a week's worth of detention and…they're writing to our parents or guardians," he said, looking at Harry.

"Well, that's not so bad. At least you're still here," said Alex.

"My mum's going to kill me. I wasn't supposed to take the car and the fact we were seen by Muggles only makes it worse."

"You were seen?" cried Hermione.

"Hermione, we've already been lectured about how serious it all is. I don't need another one," said Harry.

The conversation ended when McGonagall started handing out timetables. Alex looked at hers and smiled slightly.

"We have Herbology, then Transfiguration, then Charms, then Defense Against the Dark Arts. Not so bad for a Monday," she said.

The fluttering of wings made everyone in the hall look up. Owls came into the room carrying letters to first year children or forgotten items. Erol landed with a crash, but didn't stop to recuperate before taking off again. Alex leaned over to get a better look at the letter. It was bright red and was addressed to Ron.

"Oh no, oh no," said Ron, looking pale.

"What is it Ron?" asked Hermione.

"It's from my mum," he whispered, pointing at the scarlet letter, "I guess they wrote to our parents already."

"Ron, it's just a letter. We won't read it, we promise," said Harry.

"It doesn't matter, it's a Howler. Everyone's going to hear it anyway," said Ron forlornly.

With shaking fingers, he opened the letter. Alex started asking what a Howler was when she jumped at the sound Mrs. Weasley's pounding voice.

RONALD WEASLEY,

HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOU COULD HAVE DIED AND YOU BROUGHT HARRY INTO IT TOO! YOUR FATHER IS FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ONE TOE OUT OF LINE THIS YEAR, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!

Silence filled the hall. Ron had turned redder than the Howler. Alex, who had covered her ears to try to block out the deafening voice, looked up.

"Oh…That's a howler," she said quietly. She jumped again as the Howler burst into flames. Finally, Hermione stood up.

"Come on, let's get out of here. We don't want to be late."

Herbology was with the Hufflepuffs in the greenhouses. This year, they were going into the more advanced houses, so the whole class was excited. They were repotting Mandrakes, creatures that looked like very ugly, very dirty babies with a sprout on their head. No one could talk if they wanted to because they all were wearing earmuffs. As Hermione had said, gaining five points for Gryffindor, the cry of a Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it.

"But don't worry children," a porky Professor Sprout had told them, "These are only babies. They're cries won't kill you until they are full grown, but they will knock you out for several hours."

The next lesson was Transfiguration, taught by a stern Professor McGonagall. Alex enjoyed Transfiguration, especially since they would be doing more advanced stuff this year. For their first lesson, they were turning animals into glass goblets. Hermione and Alex were the first to finish, so they got to watch the others struggle. Ron was having a difficult time because his wand had been snapped in half by the tree. He had put Spell-o-Tape on it, but once in a while it would send colored sparks out of the tip for no reason.

"That wand needs replacing, Mr. Weasley," Professor McGonagall told him after his goblet let out a squeak and ran off the table, shattering into pieces.

Finally, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Alex went to have lunch. They sat down next to Fred, George, and Ginny.

"Hey guys," said Fred, "How's your first day back?"

"Wonderful," said Ron moodily as he grabbed some Shepard's pie.

"Don't worry about the Howler, Ron," said George.

"Yeah, we get them all the time," said Fred.

"You have Defense later, right?" asked George.

"Yeah, why?" asked Harry suspiciously. The twins were wearing identical grins on their faces that could only mean trouble.

"It's an interesting lesson, the girls really enjoyed it," said Fred.

"Well, see you later then," they said together.

Alex watched them leave and shook her head. They never ceased to amaze her. "So Ginny," she said turning to her, "How's your first day going?"

"Pretty well, I hate Potions though," she said, not looking up.

"Don't let Snape get you down," said Harry, "He hates everyone. Hell, he even hates Alex and she's the best in our year in Potions. Snape just enjoys torturing the Gryffindors."

Ginny went very red and mumbled something incoherent. After waiting for Ron to finish his third helping of pie, the four said good-bye to Ginny and went to Charms and then Defense Against the Dark Arts. The classroom was full of chattering students, but no teacher. Alex and Hermione sat in front of Harry and Ron and started pulling out their books.

"Honestly," said Alex as she slammed her books on her desk, "Don't you think one's enough?"

"Be careful with them, Alex," said Hermione as she placed them gently on top of each other, "They could be worth something one day."

"Please, I highly doubt that," snorted Alex, "I mean, they're all pretty-"

But she never got to finish because as she spoke, all the girls in the class let out gasps or squeals.

Well, it must not be Snape, she thought dryly as she turned around.

Alex looked and saw Gilderoy Lockhart standing in front of the class, smiling his toothy grin.

Oh great, she thought sarcastically as she gazed at the love-struck girls around her, This ought to be good.

Author's Note: Hello my readers! First off, I'd like to thank all the reviewers who wished me luck on my exams. My first one is tomorrow, unless it gets cancelled because of the snow. I wanted to post this tonight because I felt bad leaving you all for so long. I won't be able to post until the end of this weekend so I hope you enjoyed reading this! :D

Also, on another note, I just want to let you all know that I love criticisms. Crazy I know, but I love to know what you all think of my writing and I seriously try to take your thoughts to heart. Obviously most of this series is completed but I try to go back and tweak things that need to be fixed. However, what I don't like are reviews that criticize the story but don't say what they don't like. If you don't like something, try to be a little more specific than just saying the story sucks. What exactly bothers you about it? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but if I don't know what's wrong, I can't fix it.

With that in mind, please feel free to leave a review. I know with the last chapter I didn't answer anyone's reviews but I promise that was only because of midterms. I am usually very good about getting back to my reviewers. Thank you to all my lovely fans who reviewed last chapter and thanks again for your support. Wish me luck on my midterms! :)