Author's Note: Sadly I cannot claim any hold on the Harry Potter series. I only own Alex and any changes you notice from the original story.
Chapter 4 Pixies and Slugs
"Hello class!" he said happily, his light blue robes flowing as he walked to the desk, "In case a small few don't know who I am, I'm Gilderoy Lockhart. I have an Order of Merlin Third Class, am an Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and am the five time winner of Witch Weekly's Best Smile Award."
The girls smiled at him dreamily, even Hermione. Alex stared at him with her mouth open, surprised by his openness of his achievements.
"I see all of you have copies of my works, wonderful. Let's see how much you remember from your reading," He flicked his wand and the papers on his desk started passing themselves out. "You have a half an hour starting…now."
Alex looked at the paper and read the questions. They were all about him! Alex didn't even read the books because they were focused on the author instead of what was happening around him. She totally guessed on every question and, for the first time in her life, didn't care if she failed a quiz.
"Time's up!" the professor called and the papers sailed over to his outstretched arms.
Alex turned to the boys behind her and rolled her eyes. "How do you think you guys did?" she asked.
"Horrible, guessed on the entire thing," said Harry.
"Same here, except all my guesses were stupid. I said his favorite color was lilac or something girly," said Ron.
Alex laughed and turned her attention to the professor who was shaking his head.
"Not many of you remembered my favorite color was lilac." At this, Alex fell into a fit of giggles, but stopped after a look from Hermione, "But Hermione Granger got everything correct. Where is Miss Granger?" Hermione raised her hand, blushing. "Congratulations, ten points to Gryffindor and you get a signed photo!" said Lockhart.
Many of the girls looked upset by this and gave Hermione death stares. Alex mimicked these girls by staring at them with squinted eyes and pouting lips until they looked away in annoyance, rolling their eyes at her and whispering amongst themselves. Hermione practically ran up to get her picture. When she came back, she was grinning widely.
"Oh look Alex," she whispered showing Alex the signed photo of a grinning Lockhart, "It says, 'With love'!"
"Better be careful with that Hermione, I might try to steal it in your sleep one night," she said sarcastically, but Hermione didn't notice.
"Now for today's lesson," said Lockhart, "I will be showing you something quite dangerous."
"Finally," muttered Alex, but Hermione shushed her.
"I warn you, if you are faint of heart to not scream. It might provoke them!" he said dramatically as he unveiled the cage on his desk.
Alex was on the edge of her seat, but when she saw what was inside, she was disappointed.
"Pixies?" she said loudly.
Lockhart looked at her and smiled. "Yes my dear, but not any kind of pixies. Cornish pixies, little trouble-seekers these lot are."
"But they're pixies," said Alex laughing, "I was expecting something more dangerous…like a small dragon."
"Well Miss…"
"Ratcliff."
"Well Miss Ratcliff, I'm going to let them out, let's see what you make of them."
"Professor, wait-" started Alex.
But she was too late. He opened the cage and the pixies flew out, wreaking havoc. They went after Neville's ears and started pulling him up onto the chandelier. Alex felt them tugging at her hair and started sending spells at them.
"No need to panic!" cried Lockhart, "I have everything under control!"
He pulled out his wand and started doing flamboyant wand movements, but the pixies grabbed his wand and broke it in half. He looked at Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Alex who were the only ones left who were able to fight.
"I'll just let you get them into the cage then," he said and ran out the door.
"I can't believe this! He's the teacher, not us! He should know to never let that many pixies out at once!" Alex shouted as she removed some pixies from the curtains with a jinx.
"He just wants us to have a practical lesson," said Hermione as she froze some pixies that were in her hair.
"Oh yeah, this is practical all right! If it's so practical them why are we the only ones doing it?" cried Alex as she took her anger out on the pixie in front of her face and sending him flying against the opposite wall.
"And he had no idea what he was doing!" said Ron, picking up the limp bodies of pixies on the ground, "Alex is right, even little kids know not to let pixies into enclosed areas. They go nuts!"
"He does know what he's doing, didn't you read his books?" challenged Hermione.
"I didn't, they were all about him and not what he was actually doing!" retorted Alex, grabbing a pixie before it smashed a book on her head.
After two hours of pixie gathering, the four went to the common room and sat by the fire. Alex pulled out her Herbology book and started writing the essay.
"Aren't you going to do Transfiguration first? It's due tomorrow," asked Harry.
"Don't have to do it, remember? Hermione and I were excused from the homework because we actually turned our animals into goblets," said Alex, not looking up from her essay.
It was nearly dark when Alex finished her essay. She and Hermione traded papers and corrected the other's work.
"Hermione, everything's good, but, um…you might want to get rid of this here."
She pointed to the top right-hand corner where Hermione had drawn a heart with the initials HG+GL inside. Hermione blushed violently and crossed out the heart.
The girls said good-night and went upstairs.
…...
The first week back was the strangest one Alex had ever had. Lessons with Lockhart were more boring than ever since he had stopped all "practical" lessons after the pixies. Potions was the same as usual. Alex would finish her potion first and sit and watch the others struggle over their steaming cauldrons. Alex was very happy for the weekend because it was sunny and the teachers hadn't given the students much homework.
Alex woke up on Saturday morning and saw the grey light coming over the horizon. She tried to fall back to sleep but couldn't so she pulled on her jeans and a shirt. She went to the common room and saw Oliver Wood with the Quidditch team, all bleary eyed and yawning except Oliver.
"Hi guys, are you starting training already?" she asked Wood.
"Yep, the only team to start this early," said Wood proudly.
"And the only team foolish enough to wake up at the crack of dawn to do it," muttered Fred.
"Can I come and watch?" asked Alex hopefully. She loved Quidditch, but wasn't on the team. Her uncle worked in the Magical Games and Sports department in the Ministry of Magic so the two of them talked about Quidditch a lot during the summer.
"Well…" said Wood frowning.
"Oh come on, Oliver," said Angelina Johnson, a toned dark-skinned girl with black hair and eyes, "She's not going to turn her back on us and tell Slytherin all our secret moves. Unless…you're a Slytherin in disguise!"
Fred and George ran over to Alex and picked her up.
"How dare you try to steal our secrets!" cried Fred.
"For this, you shall be thrown into the fire!" said George.
The carried a laughing Alex on their shoulders and pretended to throw her into the fire place.
"Have mercy!" laughed Alex.
"Never you filthy Slytherin spy!" the twins shouted together.
"Okay you two, that's enough!" said Oliver, "I get it, I get it! Alex can come and watch."
Alex ran upstairs to grab her cloak and left Hermione a letter telling her she was watching the Gryffindor practice. She followed the team to the field, but stopped when she heard a voice.
"Harry, Harry wait for me!" said a first year boy as he ran over to the team.
"Hello Collin," said Harry in a bored voice.
"Where are you going Harry? Wow, is that a Nimbus 2000? Aren't they the best in the world? Do you play Quidditch Harry? Is it true you're the youngest Quidditch player in a century? Can I watch you play?" said Collin, all very fast.
"Wow, aren't you a bundle of energy?" said Alex, looking at the first year.
Just then, Ron and Hermione came over the group. Oliver was at his breaking point.
"All right, team, into the locker rooms! The rest of you can watch from the stands!" he shouted.
Alex, Ron, Hermione, and Collin went to get seats in the stands while Harry and the rest of the team went to the locker rooms. The whole time they waited, Collin asked questions.
"Are you Harry's friends? Do you like Harry? What's he really like? Does he talk about me?"
"Yes, yes, he's very annoying, never mentioned you," said Ron, whose patience was wearing thin.
"Oh Ron, he's just curious," said Alex ruffling the little boy's hair, "Yes we're Harry's friends. I'm Alex, that's Hermione, and the cranky one's Ron. Harry is like a brother to me, as I'm sure he is to the others. Harry is nice, a little shy, and very funny. He talks about you all the time." The last was a total lie but it couldn't hurt. It was obvious the boy looked up to Harry.
Collin smiled widely and then asked, "Are you Harry's girlfriend?"
"Okay, now you've gone too far," said Alex, frowning at him.
They watched Harry practice with the team. They were a little rusty from the summer, but they got better as the game went on. Movement on the field made Alex look down and she groaned loudly.
"Slytherins," she told the others darkly.
They hoped over the barrier and went to the group of red and green.
"Montague, this field is reserved for us! I had it booked for today!" Alex could tell Wood was angry because a vein in his head was bulging.
"I have a letter from Professor Snape saying we have permission so we can train our new seeker," said Montague, who was sniggering.
"New seeker?" said Alex, joining the group.
The team parted and out came Malfoy, dressed in the team's robes.
"Malfoy?" cried Harry.
"Hello Potter, like our new brooms?" Malfoy said.
As Alex looked at them, her excitement took over her reason. "No way, those are the new Nimbus 2001's! They're not even out on the market yet!" she said excitedly.
"Glad you're impressed, Ratcliff." he smirked and Alex stopped smiling. "A gift from my father. Maybe if you're nice to me I'll get you one too."
"Not after your grease was all over it," she shot back, angry at Malfoy and at herself for making a big deal.
"At least no one on the Gryffindor bought they're way onto the team," said Hermione coldly, "They got in on pure talent."
"No one asked your opinion you filthy little Mudblood," said Malfoy angrily.
Most of the members on the Gryffindor team shouted at Malfoy. Alex didn't know what it meant, but got the gist from what her uncle told her. Anger boiled inside her and she started shouting at Malfoy. Any word that came to her mind, she shouted it at him. When she finished her rant, she was panting and shaking with anger. Ron pulled out his wand.
"You'll pay for that Malfoy," he yelled.
There was a loud bang and a jet of light shot from the wrong end of Ron's wand and he went flying backwards.
"Ron, are you all right?" said Hermione, looking scared.
A pale-faced Ron sat up and started retching slugs. The Slytherins were on the ground with laughter. Alex ignored them and ran over to her friend.
"Let's take him to Hagrid's," said Harry who was supporting Ron on his shoulder, "He'll know what to do and he's closest."
Alex transfigured a rock on the ground into a large bucket and walked backwards while holding the bucket so that Ron could spew slugs into it and not all over his front. Hermione helped Harry carry Ron and Collin followed behind, trying to take pictures. Katie Bell held him back so he wouldn't follow them to Hagrid's hut. They saw the hut when they heard a voice.
"And if you need any help Hagrid, you know who to call," said Professor Lockhart.
Harry directed them into the shadows, much to Hermione's dismay, and waited until Lockhart was out of ear shot. Alex knocked on Hagrid's door and Hagrid opened it, trying to keep Fang from jumping on a still retching Ron.
"The bes' thing ta do is ta let 'em all come up," he said to Ron and he turned to the others, "Wha' made him do tha' spell?"
"Malfoy," said Alex, trying to ignore Fang's pleading for every kind of meat he could smell, "He called Hermione something, I don't know what it is exactly."
"Mudblood, he called me a Mudblood," said Hermione.
"No, he did not!" said Hagrid.
"What does it mean?" asked Harry.
"It's a foul thing ta call someone who has Muggle parents, Muggle-born see," said Hagrid.
"It's disgusting," said Ron in a faint voice and he threw up some more slugs, though they weren't as big as before. "Stupid really, common blood, they think…wizard blood is more noble that Muggle's."
"Ron's righ', it's stupid. There's no such thing as bad blood. Look at our Hermione, cleverer than anyone here."
"And my mum and aunt, they were Muggle-born. They were very smart I heard," said Alex.
"Yer aunt graduated top 'o the class she did, and same with yer mum Harry. Alex's mum wasn't far behind either," said Hagrid beaming at them all.
"So Hagrid," said Harry, trying to change the subject, "What did Lockhart want?"
"Jus' goin' on and on 'bout if I needed any help ta call him, thinks I can't do it meself," Hagrid said angrily, "I thought it was him comin' back when yeh knocked."
"But Dumbledore must have hired him for a good reason," said Hermione.
"The reason's 'cause he was the only man fer the job. Everyone's findin' out the job's jinxed, no one lasts more than a year with this job."
Hermione looked down and Alex smiled slightly. "He thinks he's all that, right?" said Alex.
"Yeh bet, came in here askin' 'bout Harry." Harry sat up slightly. "Wanted ta know if Harry here was givin' out photos. How come I didn't get one?" Hagrid asked.
Harry started stuttering, saying he wasn't, but realized Hagrid was joking and laughed. "I told him, I says, 'Harry don' need no photos, he's already famous.' He didn't like that too much," said Hagrid.
"I bet he didn't," laughed Alex.
They spent the rest of the afternoon with Hagrid, drinking tea and attempting to eat Hagrid's cooking. Alex swore her tooth cracked after she ate one of his brownies. Ron was the lucky one who could refuse the food without being rude.
"My stomach is still upset Hagrid, but thanks," he would say and received a withering look from Alex.
Finally, they went up to the castle and to the Great Hall.
"I'm famished," complained Ron as they entered.
"Why didn't you eat the brownies?" snarled Alex as she massaged her mouth.
They were just about to enter, when Professor McGonagall strode over to them. Even if Alex didn't do anything wrong, she always felt like she did when the Gryffindor Head of House came near her.
"Miss Ratcliff, don't look so frightened. You're not in any trouble…unless there's something I don't know about," she said seeing Alex's fearful face, "Potter, Weasley, you are serving your detentions tonight at eight. Weasley, you will be with Mr. Filch cleaning the trophy room, no magic. Potter, you will be helping Professor Lockhart answer his fan mail," said Professor McGonagall.
"Yes Professor," the boys said forlornly.
As Professor McGonagall left, Alex turned to Ron and Harry.
"Come on, let's get something to eat. Maybe mashed potatoes won't hurt my mouth," she said trying, to cheer them up.
Author's Note: I'm back, did you miss me? I definitely missed you guys. But exams are over, thank heavens, and I'm back to updating on my usual schedule. I tried to make this chapter a little longer to make up for my absence so I hope you all enjoyed it. I think it's pretty funny myself. :P
I want to take this time to thank all the reviewers who wished me luck on my exams. You guys really made me feel better more than you probably know. So thank you all and I really appreciate your support. I couldn't ask for a better fan-base and you all rock!
All right, you all know the drill. All comments or questions can be placed in a review or PM so don't be shy. Thank you all, if you have off tomorrow for Martin Luther King Jr. Day I hope you take the time to relax, and I hope you all enjoyed reading! :D