Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even the plot, which was inspired by Carnival Phantasm Episode 8
King of Beasts Productions Present:
Let's Get Dicey!
Tale 2: Behold! The Knight of Meidos!
"I cannot believe I'm wearing this!"
"I don't think it's that bad..."
It was another day at the Dicey Cafe, and today's disgruntled groan came from Mordred Pendragon a.k.a the Knight of Treachery. She came out of the dressing room clad not in her armor nor her casual wear.
Nay, today she came out dressed in a red frilly maid outfit. The skirt reached just above the knees and her stockings were Zettai Ryouki enough to match even Rin Tohsaka.
Needless to say, she was not amused.
"Damn him for making me wear this!" Mordred growled as she punched the wall with enough force to dent it, causing her current companion and co-waitress Charlotte Dunois to jump in surprise.
"Now now, Mordred." The blonde IS pilot tried to calm her fiery co-worker "'Zis is part of Mr. Gills promotion. You're only wearing 'zis for the day, so it's nothing to worry about-"
"Nothing to worry about?!" The Knight of Treachery wasn't having any of it, her glare at Charlotte causing even the fearless French Representative to quake in her metaphorical boots "This attire is unbecoming of a knight! A mockery of my lineage!"
"I do not like this either." Both turned to see Saber clad in a blue maid uniform "But you know what our respective Masters have said..."
"We need to do our part to pay the rent, I know." Mordred repeated in annoyance "But that doesn't give her the right to stick me in this...THIS TRAVESTY OF AN OUTFIT!"
"Um..." Both scions of House Pendragon turned to Charlotte, who had been standing there, blinking her deep purple eyes in confusion the entire time "Mind if I ask what 'zis is all about?"
"To make a long story short, both our Masters decided we should do our part to pay rent." Saber explained with her usual stoic expression "Lady Ilya had decided that it would be good for Mordred if she work here, so she spoke with Agil about and he agreed, despite his understandable doubt." she nodded at her sulking 'son' "I, on the other hand, am accompanying her because I can keep her in check."
"Is that so, 'my king'?"
Saber turned to Ilya's second Berserker and, to her surprise, she saw that her initial misgivings were gone. Instead, she saw that murderous gleam she had seen when she beat the crap out of her in one chapter of CBA.
"What are you implying?"
"Oh, I am well aware of your stint as a waitress in the Ahnenerbe. You made impressive use of your B Rank Charisma to bring the customers to heel." The Knight of Treachery smirked while she folded her arms "Perhaps you came to prevent me from upstaging you?"
"Is that what you believe, my foolish 'son'?" Saber's lips curled into an equally nasty smirk "Perhaps I shall have to teach you a harsh lesson in the service industry!"
Looking back at this, Charlotte could've sworn that sparks were flying as the two glared at each other. "Looks like Miss Tohsaka wasn't lying about the animosity between these two..."
"Then how about we put this to the test?"
All three girls turned to see Agil enter with Ragna in tow. Saber and Mordred, in particular, took interest in his knowing grin.
"How about a contest?" The burly bartender suggested "A competition on who is the better waitress?"
"Interesting." Mordred would be the first to speak "What are the rules of engagement?"
"The rules are as follows," Agil gave out a toothy grin as he turned to Ragna, who nodded and placed two jars (one with a red stripe and the other blue for color coding) on the table in the break room "Whoever has the most tips at the end of the day will be declared the winner. The total amount of tips will be measured by these jars and will be measured at the end of your shifts."
"Sounds fair enough." Nodded Saber astutely.
"Indeed." Mordred gave her approval before turning to Saber with a cocky grin "I suggest you surrender now and save us all the trouble. 'Twould be a shame for you to lose to me TWICE."
"Those are fighting words, considering you only defeated me due to my weakened state." Saber grinned back. Ragna and Charlotte would later note that the glares the two were giving each other had the intensity of a dying star "It seems today you will learn your place, Knight of Treachery!"
"Bring it, King of Knights!"
Charlotte could only watch as the two knights-turned meidos practically sprint out of the break room, their boss following behind them to mediate. With an unsure expression, she turned to Ragna "Um...are you sure that 'zis was a good idea? Ze Pendragons are rather sore losers..."
"As long as I don't have to feed any of them, I'm alright with whatever Agil's got in mind." The cook shrugged as he put on his apron and made for the kitchen "'Sides, might be good for the both of them."
Soon, it was only Charlotte left in the break room. Befuddled by what she had just witnessed today, she let out a huge sigh before voicing her thoughts to the empty air.
"I doubt 'zis will be good for both of 'zem at all."
"Disgraceful! A man of your stature should be eating more!"
"How can you work after eating so little, construction worker?!"
"You should not have spilled juice on the table! That is what coasters are for!"
"Hunger is the enemy! That's why you should go for seconds!"
Charlotte felt one of her eyes twitch as she watched Saber and Mordred cow the customers into submission, all of them bowing before their feet. "Sacre bleu, this iz 'ze 'Ahnenerbe' all over again." the blonde IS pilot sighed as she watched them bow before the Pendragon pair. She took a glance at the their respective tip jars and saw that they were neck and neck, each one already half full.
"It could be worse." Agil watched from his post at the bar, resisting every urge to bow down before the two "Gilgamesh could come over here and he'll unleash Saber Alter again."
"Don't tempt fate." Ragna called from the back, his nose to the stove as he worked furiously to meet every order "Just don't."
And so this was how it went, Saber's B Rank Charisma and Mordred's overall forcefulness compelling customers to obey their every whim. To be honest, Charlotte herself was having difficulty not going on one knee.
"Is 'zis...ze power of Camelot's royalty?"
"Ah! So it seems you work here as well!"
Saber felt that all too familiar chill go down her spine as she slowly turned her head towards the door. Sure enough, the King of Heroes himself was standing before them in all his radiant glory, clad in his usual black jacket and pants with his hair slicked down.
"I told you not to tempt fate!" Ragna called from the kitchen.
"So it's you." Mordred scowled at him, causing the Gilgamesh's brow to twitch ever so slightly.
"How dare you address the king with such disrespect, faker!" He returned her scowl with one of his own.
"A king? More like glorified peacock!"
"Why you-?!"
"Now, now. Save it for your fic." Agil chuckled as he got between them hoping to diffuse the situation "Wouldn't you want to enjoy a good meal and a drink to go with it, my good man."
"Yes, and I would very much prefer we do not repeat what had happened last time." Saber saw fit to add. This time, she was more than ready to bring out Excalibur.
Gilgamesh appeared to give the matter some thought, placing a hand on his chin. Afterwards, he sighed as he took his seat.
"Very well. I shall let the matter pass for now, for Saber's sake." the haughty King of Heroes then shot the red-clad meido a glare "But do not think that matters have been settled between us, faker!"
"I'm looking forward to the day I bash that arrogant smug in." Mordred smirked, her eye twitching violently as she brought out her clipboard "For now, can I take your order?"
"I am sorry, sir, but we do not sell the latest issue of JUMP! here either."
For some inexplicable reason, Heracles a.k.a Canon Berserker showed up with some coins in hand hoping to buy himself some shounen manga. To his disappointment, he found nothing of that sort. So what did he do?
Well, he started bashing the place, like any good Berserker should.
"Sir, please calm down!" Saber implored the gargantuan monster as he started smashing the entrance with his massive slab.
Cue Mordred rushing past the blue meido with Clarent in hand, crashing into the giant with enough force to make take a few steps back.
"So...you were Ilya's first Berserker, the might Hercules himself." Mordred wore her trademark hungry grin, still clad in her meido outfit, as she held her weapon in both hands as the giant stared down at her "Let's see how many of your lives I can take before this is all over!"
With a mighty roar did Canon Berserker and CBA Berserker crash into each other like two stags fighting for a doe. Thankfully they were outside, but the shockwaves of their ruckus were felt and, indeed were being watched by many a passerby.
"Goddamnit." Agil sighed deeply, placing his index fingers on his temples as he brought Ragna into the front of the house "You and Charlotte go and do some damage control. Restrain both Berserkers if you can."
"Right." Both Ragna and Charlotte nodded, the latter bringing out her Rafale Revive IS out, and went to TRY and restrain two rampaging heroes of old.
A fight that shall remain offscreen, as we shift our attention to Gil and Saber as they were watching all of it unfold.
"So the faker faces the savage? Would make for an enjoyable show, to be sure." Gilgamesh chuckled as he helped himself to some steak "It seems that the doll's Servants are quite entertaining, to say the least."
"I would appreciate it if you do not refer to Lady Illyasviel as such." Saber furrowed her brow in annoyance, something the golden King of Heroes ignored.
"So, Saber..." Gilgamesh gave her leering grin "The offer I made still stands."
"Wh-what?!"
"My offer back at the other restaurant." He continued and pointed at Saber, to her dismay "I would like to have you for take-out!"
Agil paled as he watched Saber twitch rather violently, clenching her left fist as her right was about to reach for her ahoge.
"I better stop her!" The bartender was about to run to Saber and try to calm her down. The last thing he needed was Saber Alter running amok.
Thankfully he didn't need to, as a flying red blur crashed into him. It did little to stop it's momentum and, as a result, it crashed into the King of Heroes and, eventually, into a wall with a resounding bang. Out of the debris it resulted in came Mordred. Her meido outfit was in tatters and blood was dripping down her nose, and she dislocated her left shoulder.
Despite all that, her grin seemed to grow wider.
"That's right!" She roared as she slowly got to her feet, setting her shoulder back in it's place with a rather sickening pop. "That's the strength I expect from the World's Strongest Man! Entertain me more!"
She ran back to the Hercules with reckless abandon while shouting at the top of her lungs, leaving Saber to check on the other two. It seemed that Gilgamesh was knocked out by the said crash and Agil was fine, though he may have broken a rib or two.
"Saber..." The bartender croaked weakly as he wobbled to his feet "You know what to do..."
With a nod, Saber went forth to assist Ragna and Charlotte, who were busy trying to break up the fight between the two Berserkers. It was at that moment Asuna and Kirito arrived through the backdoor for their respective shifts. At the sight of the battle outside, as well as the hole in the wall from the crash caused by the human projectile and the customers still bowing to Saber, all they could say were the following:
"What the hell?"
"Well, zat's ze end of a rather busy day."
'Busy', of course, was a mild way of putting it consider the damage caused by today's antics. Still, Agil was glad that they made it back in one piece just in time for Saber's and Mordred's shift to end. As for the result of their little game, the bartender declared it a no contest on account of the Berserker incident. Still, each of them managed to get a good haul today as they left the cafe clad in their casual wear with Charlotte in tow.
"Indeed it was, Miss Dunois." Saber nodded as as she turned to the blonde French Representative. She saw that she had some bruises from being assigned to the daunting tasks of calming two Berserkers down "Are you alright, though? You had been caught in a battle between two Heroic Spirits."
"I'll be fine." She nodded with a smile "My Rafale Revive was able to take ze brunt of ze damage, though I will have to have it checked tomorrow." She sighed, not looking forward to explaining how two heroes of legend did a number on her IS.
"I suppose I must apologize." Mordred, who sported numerous bandages on her head and shoulder, crossed her arms and looked down rather sheepishly "I should not have gotten you involved in that rather messy affair."
At that, Saber managed to smile somewhat. To see that her son had shown a bit of humility and for taking responsibility for the trouble caused.
"She has grown."
"You know," Morded looked up to see the King of Knights with a warm smile on her regal features "I enjoyed working with you today, Mordred. It was rather...fun."
This admission rather floored the Knight of Treachery; for one, she never saw her smile in her entire tenure as a Knight of the Round Table, let alone admit any of her feelings.
Yet, here she was, baring the warmth she had hidden all those years in Camelot. So to say that this was significant to her 'son' was an understatement.
"Th-thanks...I guess." She mumbled in a flustered tone before looking up at dear old 'dad' "But don't think that our issues would go away with one kind gesture! I still want your throne!"
With a rather confident grin did Mordred sprint ahead, leaving Saber and Charlotte alone. "Are you sure zis is okay?" She asked the King of Knights with a worried expression, who nodded in response.
"She is right. All our differences will not be resolved immediately." She conceded to that point, but looked up at the sky regardless "However, I wish to make amends with her in the coming days. It's what Shirou would want...and it's what I would want as well."
End Tale 2
A/N: Ladies and Gentlemen, there you have it. Another update to my gag fic, "Let's Get Dicey!"
Mordred: Curse you for making me wear such a hideous outfit.
What? You went with it anyway to try and outdo your 'dad', right?
Mordred: *blushes* A-And what of it?! Why do you think I seek her approval for anything, huh?!
I didn't imply anything, Miss Knight of Treachery. You said those words, not me.
*Mordred brings out Clarent with every intent of sticking me like a pig*
Heyhey! I'd save that aggression if I were you! Don't you got a big fight in CBA to get to?
Mordred: *considers it for a moment before putting her sword down* Ah yes, I forgot. I shall take great pleasure in trouncing father's greatest lapdog! MWAHAHAHA!
Oookay...anyways, in case no one recognized the boy talking to Saber and the pink haired girl that came with Shirou to pick them up, they were Ouma Shu and Yuzuriha Inori from Guilty Crown. Also, the blonde french girl in this piece is actually Charlotte Dunois from Infinite Stratos. Okay, now that that's done, I'll be working on the next chapter of Clarent Blood Arthur now. See ya!
Mordred: Next time, a certain wallflower meets a certain Hound, who have a lot more in common than they would think.