"Hello, Kimberly."

Kim felt her breath catch as she heard Shane say her name in his soft accent. You look tired, she thought, as she took in the lines around his eyes and the way his hair seemed to be sticking out a bit, like he had not combed it in a few days. It then dawned on her that Shane was wearing the same jacket and dress shirt that he was wearing when she had seen him lying on the floor of Cal's hideout.

This was just today or last night.

The thought brought home how suddenly everything had changed. Not that many hours ago, Shane had been cheering Jeannie's first steps. Now he was fighting for his life.

She studied his face again. Despite his worn and somewhat disheveled appearance, he was still so handsome. And there was a brilliance in his eyes as he began to speak. He seemed so alive, a thought that caused Kim's chest to ache.

"Mommy? Are you okay?"

Kim jumped in surprise, suddenly remembering that Andrew was sitting on the couch next to her. She quickly grabbed the remote and hit the pause button. She had to watch the tape, but she had no idea if she could hold herself together. Kim did not want Andrew to see her break down again.

"Andrew, sweetie. . . . Can you go to the kitchen and tell Simmons that I said you could have a cookie?"

Andrew gave her a confused look, but dutifully got up and headed out of the room. Kim took a couple of deep breaths and, steeling herself, clicked the play button on the remote so the tape began to run again.

"As you probably saw, we had a very exciting night tonight," Shane said. He glanced down at Jeannie and smiled. "Courtesy of this very smart and beautiful little girl. But then, of course, that's hardly a surprise given her mother."

As he talked, Jeannie looked up at him as if transfixed. Shane responded by taking her little hand in his and smiling down at her. Then he looked back at the camera.

"I'm not really sure exactly what I should say to you." He paused as he seemed to think for a moment. "I'm a fool. . . . I was stupid. . . . How's that for starters?" Shane sighed audibly. "I was scared, Kim. No, that's not quite right. I was bloody terrified. . . . That morning . . . all I could think about was how scared I was. The night before. . . ." Shane's voice trailed off and he looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know how to describe it, but it was like you could reach parts of me so deep. It probably sounds cliche, but I felt you could see my soul. Silly, I know."

"It doesn't sound silly to me," Kim whispered back at the screen.

"So I was terrified," Shane continued. He stopped talking as Jeannie twisted against his arm and babbled something. "Just a little longer, sweetheart," he said to her. Shane shifted her on his lap and wiggled some fingers in front of her face, causing her to laugh. For a moment, Shane watched her, his expression turning pensive, and then he turned back to the camera. He spoke slowly, constantly hesitating, as if he were struggling to find the right words.

"I'm probably not telling you anything you don't already know, Kim . . . but for the longest time - after I thought Emma died - I shut down my emotions." He paused. "And then you broke through the walls I'd built and, for a time . . . I knew a happiness and a love that I spent a lifetime thinking couldn't truly exist." A small smile played on Shane's lips before it faded. "But when you left for Los Angeles. . . . I swore I would never expose myself like that again. I told . . . well, it doesn't matter who I told . . . It's just, after you left, I decided that emotions made me weak. So I built those walls back up." Shane closed his eyes for a moment. "And in one fell swoop the other night, just like that, you tore them down again." He opened his eyes and Kim detected a bit of a flush in Shane's cheeks. "That night was wonderful, but then all I could think about was 'what if she leaves again'? 'What's going to happen if she walks away?' I decided I couldn't face that possibility."

On-screen, Shane shifted uncomfortably. "You were right. I was a coward, and I wasn't willing to trust our love - to trust you. I hope you can forgive me for that, because it's not a mistake I'm going to make again."

Kim shook her head. I want to believe that, Shane, she thought. I want to believe that with all my heart.

Again Shane stopped, as Jeannie distracted him. "Just a little longer," he repeated before he looked back into the camera. "I think I'm running out of time here." He grinned a little, then grew somber. "I know, after what happened the other day . . . you may not believe me. You may just think I'm saying things because you're gone, and this is just some temporary change of mind and it doesn't matter, because I can promise the moon when I think you may never come home. . . . That's not what this is, Kim. I swear it's not. This is real."

"See. . . . " Shane's voice trailed off for a moment. "I know we're going to find you and Kayla. I'll admit that I've had my moments of doubt, but I promised Jeannie and Andrew that you'll be home and it's going to happen."

"See, Mommy!"

Kim jumped in her seat, then turned around to see Andrew in the library doorway. He was holding a half-eaten cookie and had crumbs on his cheeks.

"See," he repeated, walking toward her. "Daddy promised."

"So he did." Kim smiled at her son. "Daddy did promise."

But at what cost? she added silently. Then she realized that she had not stopped the tape this time and Shane was still talking on-screen. He was looking down at Jeannie, apparently responding to something she had done, but she just caught the tail end of it. "-worry about." He hugged Jeannie close to him before setting her back on his lap and looking again at the camera. "I know I'm going to have a devil of a time convincing you this is sincere, but let me try. Please give me a chance to try." Shane pursed his lips, as if he were thinking, and then his eyes widened slightly. "Hey, maybe this will help. . . . Um . . . I made a decision the other day. Actually, it was the day you walked out, before I found out you were missing. You see, Kim, I told Mickey to accept the deal. I told him I'll plead guilty."

Kim gasped audibly.

"So I'll be a traitor," Shane said with a shrug. "That's going to be hard for me to get used to, I know. It goes against so much I believe. . . ." Shane looked down at Jeannie again, then back at the camera with a determined look in his eyes. "But that doesn't matter. It's more important that I'll be able to come home to you and our children. So if letting the world think I'm a traitor will bring me home faster, so be it. I can live with that." Shane looked up at the ceiling. "Three years. It'll be hard being away. I know that'll be hard for you too, and for the kids, but when that's over, we'll be a family again."

Shane fell silent for a moment and looked down at Jeannie again. "Which brings me to something else. I told you that I would put Cal behind us, but . . . well, there was one part of that that I never confronted. I've spent the past year blaming Jeannie for Cal, pushing her away and convincing myself that I could never care about her. Stupid, isn't it?" He squeezed Jeannie's hand a little. "For the longest time, I couldn't see past who I thought her father was. . . . But Cal's not her father, Kim."

If Kim had been surprised before, she was even more shocked now. How? How did Shane find out?

"I mean, I know, biologically, she's his, but I don't care about that. I look at her, and all I can see is you. She has your eyes and your smile. But even if that weren't so, it wouldn't matter." Shane looked back up at the camera, and Kim could see that his eyes were glistening. "I think you named Jeannie after my mother for a reason. There's a bond there. I don't know where it comes from or why . . . maybe it's just that she's the daughter of the woman I love more than life itself-"

Kim felt her stomach turn over at Shane's choice of words.

"Jeannie's my daughter, Kim. I don't care what anyone says." He looked back down at Jeannie and smiled at her. She lifted her eyes in response and smiled back at him. "That's right, sweetheart. You're my daughter. Jeannie Donovan. And Daddy's going to be here for you, I promise."

Kim could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks. She tried to fight back a sob, but it escaped. He didn't know what would happen. He promised he would be there for her, but he may have already broken that promise. Kim felt the room spinning and she hit the pause button on the tape once more.

"Mommy?"

She turned to Andrew, who was looking at her with a big frown on his face. "Why are you sad? Daddy said we're going to be together. In England."

"He told you that?" Kim asked. When Andrew nodded solemnly, Kim choked back another sob. There was no way to put this off any longer. She took a few deep breaths and tried to compose herself. "Andrew," she said, trying to find the right words. "Something happened to Daddy."

Andrew's eyes widened. "Did the bad men come back?"

"No, honey," Kim said. "You know how Daddy promised to find me and Aunt Kayla? He did that. It's just that. . . . he was hurt, sweetie. Hurt very badly."

She let that sink in for a moment, before Andrew asked, "Is Daddy going to die again?"

"I . . . I don't know, sweetie." Kim found herself unable to lie. "We just don't know. He's in the hospital now and the doctors are doing everything they can."

Andrew looked down and whispered, "I don't want Daddy to die."

"I know you don't." Kim's her tears started again. "I don't want him to either." She reached out and pulled Andrew into a hug. He had been through so much the past few months. She held both her children in a tight grip. "We just have to pray for Daddy," she said. Silently, she looked a the paused television screen, where Shane was staring back at her, and pray was exactly what she did.

Come on, Shane. You have to pull through. Kim looked down at Andrew and Jeannie in her arms. Your children need you.