"Steve! Steve!"
Steve jerked up from the chair to see Kayla sitting up in the bed, her blue eyes staring dazedly at him. She had tossed and turned most of the night, despite the pain pill he had convinced her to take before they went to bed. Unable to sleep himself after all that had happened, Steve had sat and watched her. He was still trying to convince himself that she was really there.
"I'm here, Sweetness," he said quickly as he leaned close and brushed some of her hair back from her forehead.
"The-then. . . ." she stammered slightly. "It wasn't a dream." Her eyes widened and he could see the fear and confusion as she remembered the events of the previous days.
"Shhh. You're okay now, baby. I'm here. You're safe."
Kayla reached out her hand and touched his cheek. "Are you all right? I . . . I remember you screaming in pain."
Steve smiled slightly at that. It was so like Kayla to worry about him first. He took her hand in his and kissed it. "I'm fine, baby. Remember, Neil checked me out."
Kayla's eyes cleared as she seemed to finally get her bearings. "That's right," she said slowly. Then her eyes widened again. "Shane . . . he was shot. He-"
"Shane's fine, baby," Steve said, trying to soothe her. "Marcus and Carly worked on him and he came through the surgery. He's going to be fine." Steve hoped he sounded more confident than he felt. He knew that it was still touch-and-go.
Kayla took a deep breath and leaned back against the pillow. "Sorry, it's just all so confusing for some reason. I was dreaming and. . . ." She stopped.
"What were you dreaming about, Sweetness?" Steve continued to hold her hand.
Kayla shook her head. "It doesn't matter, I guess. It was just a dream." She tried to smile. "I guess that pain pill was more powerful than I thought."
Steve's eye narrowed as he looked closely at Kayla. He could tell she was holding something back from him. "Tell me about your dream, Kayla. What happened?" He was not going to let her hide this from him.
"I don't want to talk about it," Kayla said, turning away from him slightly. "Like I said, it was just a dream."
Steve sat silently for a moment, unsure of what to do. Even in the dark, he could see Kayla trembling. Steve realized that what had happened with Winters had left more than a cut on her forehead and a cracked rib. Kayla was always so strong, but right now she was terrified.
He moved from the chair and perched on the edge of the bed. Still careful about jarring her rib, he tenderly lifted her up, so that her head rested against his chest, and put his arms around her. She remained like that for a long time until the trembling ceased.
"I know how you feel, baby," he whispered while stroking her hair. "I know how scary it is to talk about those dreams. But you're the one who taught me that you can't hold it all in. Just tell me about your dream."
Kayla was silent for a long moment and Steve was not sure if he had gotten through to her. Then he felt her body start to shake as she began to cry softly. "Cal had a gun to my head and told me he was going to kill me. He said I'd never see you or Stephanie again. I was begging him to let me go, but all I could feel was the gun." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "And then I heard you screaming. I wanted to go to you. but Cal still had the gun on me. He was laughing . . . it was this horrible sound . . . and then I heard a gunshot . . . I guess that's when I woke up."
Steve's heart broke as he listened to his wife's words. He felt a cold rage rush over him, knowing that the threats she described from her nightmare had undoubtedly been real. At that moment, he almost wished that Winters was still alive. Then I could kill him myself.
He pushed that thought aside. Kayla was clinging to him like she was drowning. She needed him right now and his anger was not going to help her. For her, he shoved the rage away and pulled her closer, almost smothering her in his embrace.
"It's okay, baby. It's going to be all right. You're safe now and nobody will ever hurt you. I promise you, Sweetness. I'll never let anybody hurt you."
Her hand now gripped the side of his waist and he felt her heartbeat pounding against his chest. Steve took a deep breath. He had promised her that nothing would come between them anymore, and he was going to do whatever was necessary to keep that promise. Still holding her tight, he murmured his love to her, ran his hands up her back, breathed deeply, and tried to project a calm that he did not quite feel.
It seemed to work. After what seemed like an eternity, Kayla finally spoke. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
Steve shook his head. "Don't apologize, baby. Just tell me what I can do to help you."
Kayla smiled slightly. "You're already doing it. Just being here and holding me is helping. I . . . I just need you here with me."
He reached a hand up and brushed back her hair. "I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'll always be here with you."
She looked up at him and he saw the fear and sadness still in her blue eyes. Leaning down, he kissed her forehead and then softly kissed her lips. He began to pull back, but felt her hand at the back of his head as she pulled him down into a strong, hard kiss. When they pulled apart, she looked up again. This time, the need in her eyes was plain.
"Make love to me, Steve," she said, her voice urgent. Before he could respond, she jerked his head forward again. Their lips met once more. This time, she forced her tongue past his lips and she held on, continuing the bruising kiss until Steve had to break away and gasp for breath.
Kayla was breathing hard, her eyes shining with desperation. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it free of his jeans and ran her hand roughly over his chest.
Steve moaned. Kayla was here, with him, and Steve desperately wanted to give her what she wanted. His hands caressed her through the fabric of her nightgown. They continued to kiss, hard and passionate, the fire stoking with each touch. Unconsciously, he lifted his arms and helped her pull the shirt over his head, before another forceful kiss.
"I need you," Kayla breathed as they broke away. She ran her hands down his chest and began fumbling at the buttons on his jeans. Steve groaned in anticipation.
What am I doing? The thought cut through the haze of desire. Not like this.
Steve understood what she wanted. He had been there himself not that long ago. She wanted to push the pain and fear away just for a short time, wanted to hide the terror behind an act of love. Her pain and fear would feed off his own anger - and the fear from the past few days that he still had not let go. Their emotions would fuel an intense passion that would race through them. But it would be an act of desperation, hard and fast, more concerned with the physical than the emotional.
That was not what Kayla needed. She needed to be safe. She needed to be loved - slowly and delicately. And, if he were honest, it was not what he needed either. He needed to show her the same love she had always shown him when he had been overcome by his fears.
Kayla had managed to undo the top button of his jeans, but he took her hands and lifted them up. Slowly, he kissed her right hand, then lifted her left hand to his mouth and kissed it as well.
"Slowly, baby," he whispered. "Let me love you. Let me show you how much I love you."
The desperation was still there and she pulled one of her hands free and started for his pants again.
"Sweetness," Steve said softly. "Trust me. . . . Not like that. Please, baby, let me love you."
Kayla hesitated and she looked down at her hand on the waistband of Steve's jeans and then back up into his eyes. She swallowed nervously. "I do trust you. I just-"
"I know, baby." Steve stopped her words with a kiss, tender and slow, as he wrapped his arms around her. Holding her close, his deliberate kisses continued for a long time, before he slowly moved his lips to her neck. Kayla let out a soft moan and he felt her body relax against him.
"That's right, baby," Steve breathed, as he carefully lowered her to the bed. "Let me love you."
Slowly and gently, he caressed her. He did not push and took care to avoid her painful ribs. He let Kayla take the lead when she wanted. With each touch, he felt Kayla's passion building even as her body grew even more relaxed. Steve felt his own emotions swirling. He was taking away her fear and pain and replacing them with all of the love in his heart. His movements were practiced, touches that he knew would calm and arouse - what only he could give her, because he was the only man who knew her body and soul so well.
In the midst of his own arousal and passion, he felt awed. And guilty. She was everything he ever wanted and he had almost lost her. He would never take her for granted again. Every minute they had together, Steve would take it as the gift it was.
As they moved together, the passion building to a climax, Steve stared into her shining eyes and saw that the fear was gone. All he could see was complete trust and love.
And when it was over, they lay there, still entwined, their chests heaving. Kayla's body seemed to completely mold against his and she murmured, "I love you, Steve."
"I love you too, Sweetness." More than anything.
Careful of her ribs, Steve gathered Kayla's nearly limp body in his arms, lifted her off of him, and gently placed her on the bed beside him. He nuzzled her cheek, kissed her softly, and murmured comforting, loving words. Kayla snuggled against him and laid her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as her breathing grew even, signaling her return to a peaceful slumber.
As his body finally succumbed to the exhaustion that had built for days, Steve vowed that he would never let Kayla be hurt like this again. No one would ever make her feel as scared as she had been tonight. He would protect her, no matter what the cost.