Steve would have preferred that Kayla sleep some more, but she was having none of it. She was dressed and ready to head back to the hospital within 10 minutes of waking up, so Steve gave in. He called Jamie to take care of Stephanie and they ate breakfast while waiting for the babysitter.
As they ate, Steve skimmed the Spectator. Jack's article said very little about the rescue and Shane's shooting. It mainly reported the details that the hospital and Salem PD had released. Not that Steve had told him much more, but it was nice to see that his off-the-record comments did not appear in the paper.
Steve did notice that there was a quote from the prosecutor in Shane's case saying that the government was "evaluating the situation" to decide if Shane's shooting would have any impact on the case. Damn straight it should, Steve thought. They should dump the damn charges.
Setting aside the paper, Steve studied Kayla. She only picked at a muffin and seemed to be having trouble sitting still. "You okay?" he asked, thinking about the night before and how desperate she had seemed. "Your rib hurting?"
"I'm okay," she said. "I took some Tylenol."
"You sure?"
Kayla nodded. "I'm fine. I just want to get back to the hospital and see if there's any word on Shane. I want to be there for Kimmie."
Steve wondered if there was more to it, but he set the thought aside. He was glad that Kayla and Kim seemed to have mended fences. I guess being kidnapped by a maniac brings people together.
Finally, Jamie arrived and they headed for the hospital. Kayla had her employee pass, so they did not have to beg the guards to be let into the employee parking lot this time. Steve was glad, because there was still a throng of reporters in front of the building.
At the front desk, they were told that Shane was in the ICU, so they took the elevator to that floor. Steve was surprised not to see any family members there. But he spotted Marcus, who was reviewing some files and munching on a cinnamon roll.
"Hey, homey," Steve said. "How's he doing?"
Marcus shrugged. "Not really much change. He's still unconscious, but we got his vitals stabilized enough last night that we could move him here. I just wish he would wake up."
"Can he have visitors?" Steve asked.
Marcus nodded. "Kim spent most of the night in there. It's just one at a time."
"So Kimmie's inside?" Kayla asked.
Marcus shook his head. "Marlena dragged her to the cafeteria for a change of scenery." Marcus held up the pastry in his hand. "Not that it's better than the food we've got here. Apparently, Shane's butler started sending stuff over last night and he sent some more this morning. I don't think the staff's eaten this well since . . . well, ever."
Steve chuckled a little at the thought. Simmons was probably just trying to keep busy.
"Anyway. . . ." Marcus returned to the subject. "It's good for Kim to get away for a little bit. I'm just hoping someone can convince her to get some rest. After what she went through, she needs more than a few hours dozing in a hospital chair. I doubt she's had a decent sleep since Winters kidnapped her." It must have dawned on Marcus what he had just said, because he looked at Kayla. "How about you? You holding up okay?"
Kayla nodded, though Steve knew she had barely slept either. "I'm fine. It'll be a lot better when I know Shane will pull through."
"That's my tough girl," Steve said, putting an arm around her. Despite his slightly teasing tone, he meant every word. She might appear soft, but his wife was made of steel. What she had been through since his "death" had proven it beyond measure. Steve squeezed her shoulder, then said, "Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and check on your sister?"
"What about you?" Kayla asked.
Steve shifted a little uncomfortably. "I . . . I've got something I want to say to Shane."
Kayla's eyes narrowed. "You sure?"
"Yeah, baby. This is something I need to do." With his free hand, Steve touched her cheek. "Let me see Shane, okay?"
"Okay," Kayla said. "I'll go see if I can find Kim."
Steve watched her walk away, glad she was leaving. Steve was not one for true confessions, and did not really want Kayla overhearing. He slipped through the entrance into the ICU unit and saw that there was nobody by Shane's bed.
Walking closer, Steve remembered just how much he hated hospitals. All the machines and tubes. Steve just could not handle the sight of seeing someone close to death. And it was hard not to look at Shane, lying so still in the hospital bed, and not think of him that way.
"Hey, Captain," Steve said, not really sure why he chose to call Shane that. He certainly did not use the tone he usually used when he referred to Shane by his title. Then Steve started to sit in the chair next to the bed, but decided against it. He fell silent for a minute, trying to gather his thoughts, before he spoke again.
"I don't really know what I'm gonna say. Usually, you see the people on TV talking to the guy in the hospital and it all comes out so perfect. But this is real life, isn't it? And I'm not exactly primetime material, am I?"
He looked at the machines, the squiggles running across some of them, the blinking lights on others.
"I made a real mess of things, didn't I? Not waiting for your signal and all."
Steve began to pace a bit and shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. "I always pegged you as someone who was a lot of words, you know, all fancy talk and ideas, but not a lot of action. Yeah, that's stupid when you think of how you beat the crap out of me the first time we had a run-in and then you shot me the second time. I should've given you more credit for that. Instead, I just told myself that you talked a lot, and where I come from, words never meant much."
He sighed and shook his head. "What you did with Winters . . . that wasn't words. That was all action, and yours said everything. You didn't have to put yourself out like that. You could've let Winters kill me, and then taken him out. There's no reason you had to jump in front of that bullet for me."
Stopping, Steve looked at the bed. He was not sure what he was expecting. It was stupid to think Shane would respond. Shane remained still and all Steve could hear was the beeping from one of the machines and the sound of the ventilator.
"You could've let me die," Steve continued. "After everything that's happened, I can't say I'd have blamed you. But you couldn't do that, could you? No, you had to go play the damn hero, and nearly get yourself killed, and that makes it even worse." He looked down at the bed. "And that wasn't even the first time. You could've left me in Alamain's hellhole. Kayla never would've had to know, but you didn't, did you? You saved me that time, too. And what did I do? I acted like you were the enemy. You were just being yourself - a good dude out to protect everyone, and I couldn't see that because I was so damn angry about everything. And I couldn't blame myself, so I blamed you for what happened with Kayla. I should've been thanking you for making sure she and Stephanie were safe and protected. . . ." Steve could not bring himself to add "and loved" so he fell silent again.
"And what did I do? I got you arrested and then shot." Steve shook his head. "Some way of repaying you, isn't it?"
He stopped pacing and put a hand on the rail next to the bed. "You listen to me, Donovan. I owe you, dude. For saving my life from Winters. For saving me from that camp. For protecting my wife and daughter. That's a lot of debt to be repaid, and I'm going to find a way to pay you back. I don't know what it'll take, but screw the ISA and I don't give a damn about Egypt or politics. This is family, dude, and you're not going anywhere. I'm gonna make sure of that."
Steve heard a noise behind him and turned quickly to see that Roman was talking with a nurse by the ICU entrance.
"I guess it's time for me to take off," Steve said. "But I hope you heard me. I've going to repay that debt I owe you. So, damn you, don't you dare die before I get my chance to pay it back." He started for the exit, but stopped, turned back to Shane's bed once more, and said, "You got that? Don't you die."