All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.

No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you again to my girls darcysmom, twimom817 and EdwardsMyObsession1971 for beta'ing and prereading this for me. Love you guys!

Never Let Go

Chapter Four

It's official; I love the weekend.

I had started the previous Monday as a camp counselor. It was a fun job. I taught arts and crafts and helped with a book discussion group. Eric was the 'counselor' who I was helping with the discussion group. We decided at the orientation that we'd give the campers a choice between three books and the most popular one was the one we'd discuss. We ended up with The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe as our topic. It wasn't one of my favorite books, but I was open to other's views about it.

Eric had a really interesting way to look at it and I found myself engrossed in what he was saying. Every day that week I'd found myself sitting next to Eric during our lunch break discussing other books we loved. He was cute and sweet and very intelligent. I liked spending time with him.

By the time Saturday came around, I was glad to have a break. I didn't get to sleep in because I had to get up and go to Edward's game, but that was okay. I'd get to see Edward. I'd missed him; I'd only seen him a couple days during the week and it wasn't nearly enough.

I sat between Esme and my dad as we cheered for Edward. He managed to hit a home run in the bottom of the seventh inning and scored the winning run. I jumped to my feet and hollered until I was hoarse. Afterwards, I waited sheepishly behind the dugout for him to come out.

Edward smiled widely and held out his arms to me. I hugged him quickly and I could see he was disappointed I didn't linger.

"You hit a home run!" I squealed.

"I did," he chuckled. "I heard you screaming."

"Sorry …"

"Don't be sorry, Bella. I liked knowing that you were in the bleachers cheering me on."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah." He smiled.

Esme invited us over for a barbeque that evening, and I rode home with the Cullen's so that I could help Esme. My dad would come over later; he had a couple things to attend to at work.

After helping Esme in the kitchen, I followed Edward outside to the backyard. He led me to the hammock that hung in the shade between two huge pine trees. It was hot outside, but once we'd settled into the hammock we could feel the slight breeze in the air.

"I could lie like this every day," Edward whispered.

"Mmm … me too." I agreed.

"How was 'camp'?"

"It was good. The kids in my group are great. They really are a lot of fun."

"That's cool. How's the book thing?"

"It's good. I really like the guy I'm working with. We had lunch together every day this week. We talked about all sorts of books."

I could feel Edward's body tense beside me when I mentioned that I liked Eric and that we had lunch together all week. Edward and I were close, but it's not like we were in a relationship. To be honest, I'd never even considered anything like that with Edward. Everything was so natural between us, I'd have hated to push something only to have it tear us apart.

Edward was quiet for a beat too long.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just … I better go see if my mom needs any help with dinner."

He started to get up and I pulled him back, pulling so hard I nearly toppled us both over.

"Edward, wait. You know your mom doesn't need any help in the kitchen. If she did, she'd call us. We need to talk; something I said clearly upset you."

Edward sighed and leaned back in the hammock.

"Bella … it's just that … you're my friend and I like you."

"I like you too, Edward," I giggled.

"No, I mean like, I really like you, Bella. As more than a friend," he admitted softly.

My eyes grew wide and I was sure that I audibly gasped at his admission.

"Bella, say something please?"

"I … I don't know what to say, Edward. You're my best friend and I've never thought about you that way." I admitted.

Edward's face fell and his hand immediately went to his hair to tug on it.

"Edward … stop," I said, taking his hand in mine and linking our little fingers.

"Just because I've never thought about it doesn't mean that I won't ever think about you that way. You've been my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and my protector nearly my entire life. I don't want that to change."

"How is it that you always understand, Bella?" He smiled weakly.

"I'm your best friend. It's my job to understand."

"Am I stupid to be jealous over this guy who gets to eat lunch with you every day?"

"You're not stupid, Edward. Being jealous is human. If the roles were reversed, I'd be jealous too."

"But you like him."

I nodded and Edward sighed.

I rolled over in the hammock to face him.

"Edward … no one will ever replace you. You know that right?"

Edward nodded.

"I like him and I enjoy spending time with him, but I don't see the point in starting something I can't follow through on. You of all people know how that goes, Edward. I'll probably be going back to Vegas at the end of the summer, and it's hard enough being away from you and my dad – I don't want to add anyone else to the list of people I'll miss."

Edward gasped.

"You're going back to Vegas?"

I was saved by Esme's voice calling us in to the house to wash up for dinner.

The rest of the week passed quickly. On the last day of camp, we loaded up on buses and went to First Beach. There were several games set up on the beach: volleyball, Frisbee and tug-of-war. There were also a couple of people from the aquarium in Port Angeles who came to talk about the sea life in the tide pools.

Sue had told me I could invite Edward to join us as long as Esme or Carlisle brought him. I was glad to have him there and see him having fun after the awkwardness of our conversation in the hammock the previous Saturday. It was a conversation that I'd been dreading revisiting.

I introduced Edward to Eric and watched him nervously as he assessed Eric. I knew Edward wouldn't physically do anything but I wasn't sure what would come out of his mouth.

"Nice to meet you, Eric."

Eric shook his hand and returned the greeting.

I was pulled away from them when one of the girls in my group tugged me over to play Frisbee. Every now and then I had a moment to look around for Edward. He stood and talked with Eric for a few minutes before I saw him point over at me and he made his way toward me.

"Please tell me you were nice to Eric."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Edward …" I groaned.

"Yes, Boo, I was nice to him." He chuckled.

After lunch, Edward and I made our way up to the tide pools, our pinky fingers linked between us. He held on to my arm knowing all too well how clumsy I could be sometimes and I appreciated the gesture. Edward waited until we were pretty much alone before he pounced on me.

"Bella … can we talk?"

"Umm … yeah, I guess. What's on your mind?"

I really didn't want to think about what was on his mind. I knew Edward, and I knew that he wouldn't let the conversation from the last weekend go.

"Are you really going back to Vegas?"

I took a deep breath and sharply blew it out again.

"I don't know, Edward. Probably. I just can't imagine leaving my mom all by herself. I'd love to say that I was staying here but it would kill my mom and I don't think I could handle that. I know that you're going to say that my dad managed when we left but I didn't understand it then. I was ten when we left Dad, Edward. I couldn't see past my own hurt then. I've done a lot of growing in the nearly four years we've been gone. My heart aches that my dad when through that but he's better now and I can't imagine putting my mom through that."

"What if she wants you to move to Phoenix?"

"Honestly? I don't want to think about that. I'd like to think that she's taking some time to really think about what I want while I'm here for the summer."

"What if she doesn't?"

"I'll deal with it when I have to."

Edward sighed and I knew that he wanted to say more but I think he knew that I needed a break from the subject.

"What are you thinking?" I asked softly.

"That I want to be selfish and spend as much time with you as I possibly can before you leave me again."

His voice was no more than a whisper and it was filled with pain. My heart broke a little.

I turned toward him and wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me and returned the gesture, and I could feel his breath on my head as he kissed it sweetly. We parted grudgingly – I hadn't realized how good his arms felt wrapped around me until they were gone and I missed them. It obviously wasn't the first time we'd embraced, but it was the first time that so much emotion was involved.

I wanted to make the weekend fun for Edward; his birthday was the following day, and Esme was planning a party with all of our friends from Forks attending. My dad drove me over to the Cullen's fairly early on Saturday morning because I'd promised Esme I'd help her get everything ready. Edward was still sound asleep when I arrived and Carlisle had gone in for rounds so he'd be home in time for the party.

"Bella, how are you sweetheart? "

"I'm good, Esme. How are you?"

"Happy that you're here and even happier that I have a little bit of time with you before that son of mine monopolizes your company."

I couldn't help but giggle because Edward would do just that. We'd come to an agreement the day before as we walked back up the beach that we'd spend as much time together as possible.

"You and Edward have had a rough week, I think," Esme said softly.

"We have," I nodded. "Did he talk to you about it?"

"A little bit," she smiled. "Mostly he wants me to convince you stay here."

"Oh gosh, are you guys ganging up on me or what?"

"Oh no!" Esme laughed. "I told Edward I couldn't do that. I'd like you to stay here as much as he would, but if you feel that going back to Las Vegas is right for you then that's what you have to do, Bella."

Tears filled my eyes as I listened to what she was saying.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"I feel like I'm disappointing him. He feels like I'm leaving him. Edward's my best friend and I don't want him to feel that way." I put my head in my hands as I sat at the breakfast bar in Esme's kitchen.

"You can't protect everyone, Bella. You have to put yourself first, and take care of you. Everyone else is secondary."

"I just don't want him to feel like I'm turning my back on him. He wants me to stay so badly." I sighed. "My life would be so much easier if I could just get my mom to move back to Forks."

I felt warm arms wrap around me and soft lips at my temple.

"Bella …" Edward whispered. "I'm only disappointed that you're leaving again. I'm not disappointed in you. I don't agree with the reasons why you want to go back but I can understand them."

"You can?" I sniffled.

Edward nodded.

"Oh God, I'm slobbering all over you and it's your birthday."

"I think that's a present I'd rather overlook if you don't mind," Edward grinned.

Esme giggled before setting breakfast down in front of me, and she winked at me as if to tell me that everything would be all right.

Later that afternoon, I found myself sitting in a lounger talking to Alice and Rosalie of all people. I was surprised that Rosalie and Jasper's family had stayed in Forks as long as they had. Jasper was still sweet and shy and Rosalie was still the same bitch she'd been in kindergarten.

Jasper and Alice had finally figured out their feelings for one another and had been hanging out together as often as possible. Alice went on and on about how happy she was to be starting high school in September. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and shook her head. How Alice and Rosalie had become friends I'd never understand - although I'd venture to guess that Jasper had a lot to do with it.

I looked across the yard to see Edward and Jasper laughing as Mike Newton walked toward them tossing a hacky sack between them. Edward looked up and our eyes met. He smiled my smile and my heart leapt.

"You know, Bella ... you really shouldn't lead Edward on like that. He really cares for you. Maybe even loves you. If you can't commit to him you should tell him. Let him move on."

"Rosalie!" Alice shrieked.

"It's true!" Rosalie retorted.

"Rosalie ... my relationship with Edward is none of your business. It's no one's business but mine and Edward's." I spat angrily.

"He's a friend of mine, that makes it my business. Every time you leave, it hurts him. If you wanted to make him happy, you'd stay, but you never do."

I rose from the lounger and stomped into the house.

Esme smiled at me as I entered the kitchen.

"Everything okay, sweetheart?"

I smiled weakly.

"I need a few minutes …"

"Sure, honey. Go on up to Edward's room and take all the time you need."

Esme's tone was sympathetic and I muttered thanks.

I climbed the stairs and let myself into Edward's room. I plopped down in the cushy chair next to the window and glanced down at the backyard below. Alice was standing outside the circle where the boys were playing hacky sack. Edward has his head turned toward her and I could tell she was talking animatedly.

I had to admit that Rosalie's words hurt. Was I leading Edward on? All the conversations that I'd had with Edward over the past couple weeks swirled in my head.

I tried so hard not to cry, but I couldn't keep my tears at bay. I only wanted to find a quiet place to gather my thoughts and rein in my anger. I didn't want to ruin Edward's birthday party. I curled up in the chair, realizing that I couldn't stop my tears.

I didn't hear the soft knock at the door but I looked up to see Edward walking toward me.

"Bella …" He said softly as he knelt beside me.

His eyes were a soft, mossy green and the concern that I saw in them made me sob harder.

"Hey, hey, hey …" Edward crooned. "It's my party, I'm the only one allowed to cry."

I snorted and looked down at my hands that Edward held firmly in his grip.

"Talk to me, Boo. What's got you so upset that you had to hide?"

"Rosalie thinks I'm leading you on. She thinks you're in love with me and said that if I can't commit to you and stay here, that I should let you go."

Anger flashed across his face. His body tensed and his rage was palpable.

"Don't listen to her, Bella. She doesn't know what the hell she's talking about."

"But there's some truth to what she said, Edward. I've been thinking about our conversations from the last couple weeks and it makes sense. I can see why she sees it that way."

"Boo … she doesn't know us. She doesn't understand."

I nodded.

"Sorry I'm such a party pooper."

"You're not a party pooper. Rosalie hurt your feelings, Boo. It's okay to want to be alone for a while. I couldn't leave you up here forever. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't check in on you?"

"You're the best kind of friend because you always make sure I'm okay." I smiled.

Edward rose to his feet and pulled me out of my crouched position and up into his arms. I melted into his embrace and wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt his lips press into my hair – just as they had pressed into my temple only hours before.

"You need to get back to your party." I murmured into his chest.

"Are you coming with me?"

I nodded and he released me from his embrace. We linked our pinky fingers and I followed him out of his room. He stayed pretty close to me for the rest of the afternoon but it didn't keep Rosalie from shooting me scathing looks.

After we ate, the guys wanted to play a game. Alice sidled up next to me while we waited for everyone to decide. There were twelve of us so no matter what we'd be evenly divided.

"Let's play Kissing Rugby," Lauren suggested.

"What's that?" Mike asked.

"All the guys get a number and all the girls get a letter. Girls on one side, guys on the other, and someone sits in the middle. Edward would sit in the middle first because he's the birthday boy. Edward would call out a number and a letter and in this case the girl would try to kiss Edward while the guy whose number was called tries to kiss the girl. Whoever loses goes to the middle. When you 'lose' three times you're out of the game." Lauren explained.

We also weren't allowed to know who had what number or what letter. Kisses had to be on lips or cheeks.

"C – Three!" Edward called out once we'd all sat in our places.

I panicked when I realized 'C' was me. I watched as Mike clamored to his feet. I lunged for Edward, knocking him over as I felt Mike's slobbery kiss on my cheek.

"You okay?" Edward asked, worried.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I giggled.

"Sorry, Boo." He quietly apologized.

I wasn't sure if he was sorry for unknowingly calling my letter or because Mike managed to kiss me before I could kiss Edward.

I took my place in the middle.

"A – Five!" I called out.

I saw both Rosalie and Edward coming toward me. Rosalie was a woman on a mission as they circled around me – Rosalie guarding my face. Edward moved toward me, and she pounced on him, pinning him to the floor and pressing her lips to his. She looked at me with a huge smirk on her face before sticking her tongue out at me. I watched Edward, and I couldn't tell if he wanted to apologize to me or wipe away the reminder of Rosalie's kiss. He looked completely torn and I could see his anger rising to the surface.

"Rosalie …" Edward growled.

She turned to smile at him and I could tell she was trying to be cute, but when she saw the look on his face her smile fell to the floor.

"Edward …" I whispered.

"Rosalie … you're such a bitch. That was totally uncalled for," Leah said, standing up next to Edward.

"I only wanted Edward to see what he's missing," Rosalie giggled.

"You're not Bella, so how could you possibly know what he's missing?" Jasper asked quietly. "Ro, let's go before you ruin any more of Edward's birthday."

Jasper turned to Edward and apologized for his errant sister's behavior before grabbing her arm and pulling her toward the door.

"Ed, I'll see you Monday, man. Happy birthday," Jasper smiled as he followed Rosalie out the door.

"Let's have some cake, shall we?" Esme piped in, trying to alleviate the awkwardness.

"Who wants ice cream?" Carlisle asked with a smile and a wink to me.

We ate cake and ice cream, and Edward opened his gifts. The awkwardness from earlier was almost completely gone. The only thing that was missing was Jasper. Edward sat his gift aside to open later.

Edward asked me if I'd stay for a while after everyone left, and I called my dad to make sure it was okay. Esme promised they'd bring me home before it got too late.

I didn't mind staying a bit later. I was glad actually. I wanted to give Edward his gift privately. It wasn't something I wanted to share with everyone else. Mostly because I knew it could be embarrassing for him – but I knew it was a gift that he'd love.

I helped Edward carry his presents up to his room and I sat a large box in front of him as he sat on the bed.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like?"

"Bella … you didn't have to get me anything. I'm just happy that you're here for my birthday."

"I know I didn't have to but I wanted to. Open it," I urged.

Edward carefully pulled the wrapping from the box and lifted the lid. When he saw the contents he laughed softly and pulled the fluffy teddy bear from the box.

"Baxter …" Edward whispered. "Bella … this is your favorite bear. I can't take him from you."

"Yes he is, and yes you will. I left him in Forks to keep Charlie company, and now he's going to stay with you and keep you company."

I was elated to find out that Edward knew Baxter was my favorite teddy bear. I collected them when I was little, and he was my very favorite. He was a Gund bear, and Santa brought him to me for Christmas one year. He sat proudly on my bed amongst all my other bears but he was the most loved. I slept with him every night, snuggled up in my arms. To me it felt like I was leaving a little bit of my heart with Edward. I did every time I left, but this time I could leave him with a tangible object.

Edward looked at me with the softest, sweetest smile on his face.

"Boo … I love it. Really, thank you. It's the best gift I've received with the exception of you being here."

"You're welcome. Happy Birthday."

I leaned over to hug him and surprised him by kissing him softly on his cheek.

"What was that for?" He asked quietly.

"That's for the kiss I should have given you earlier during the rugby game."

A/N: Kissing Rugby is a real game and it's FUN! Wouldn't you want Edward to call out your number or letter? I sure as hell would ;)

So not everyone thought Bella was being whiny and I'm glad for that. Renee is being … difficult to say the least and it's Bella that bears the brunt of it. Let's just say we haven't seen the worst of it yet, okay?

Until next week … have a good one ;)