*NOTE* The chapters "Downcast" and "So Much to Say" are being re-uploaded due to important changes/additions.

After discussing things at length with another user (you know who you are - and thank you) and looking over some of the reviews, I felt them necessary and I re-uploaded them way it this way to ensure everyone would see.

If only you wouldn't run away...

The TARDIS unleashed another wave of displeasure in his mind.

Stop it, Her Doctor growls through their link.

If She had hands She would slap him. As it was, She was able to express Her irritation quite adequately by relocating the chair he was sitting in to another room and leaving him behind. His bum him the floor first and then his back. He sat up, grumbling, and gave the ceiling a dirty look.

That was uncalled for. I haven't done anything.

The lights in his room were the next things to go. He sat in the darkness, silently, for about five seconds, during which time She felt his anger burning around their link.

"Why are you doing this?" Her Doctor will shout in his native tongue. No translation for this language. "She didn't want me!"

How would you know? You did not even give Your Rose a chance to explain why she halted the mating before you ran!She 'shouts' at him. Despite their mutual telepathic capabilities, his mind could only process Her form of speech as various colors, images, and feelings that he had to piece together himself. As such, the chances of him perfectly understanding Her meaning were slim.

You hurt her.She thought and showed him Her Wolf crying in her bed from minutes before.

Her Doctor winced at the image and his body shifted to mirror her position, his legs drawn up to his chest.

And you'll only hurt yourself more if you don't go back

He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. She felt his anger and fear give way into sadness as he tried to figure out why His Rose had pushed him away, and She decided Her anger would no longer be beneficial. Her Doctor was hurting just as much as Her Wolf. Once more She longed for arms to hug him with or some physical way to offer him comfort.

She brushed his mind, lightening Her hum to a more soothing tone, and returned the lights to a dim setting.

What did I do wrong? He asks. Why did she push me away?

She nuzzled his mind again. She knew, of course, the reasoning behind Her Wolf's actions, but it was not Her place to tell him. They had to work this out for themselves or they would never learn. But if it went on for too long then perhaps an intervention would be beneficial.

She could see the timelines better than Her Doctor and She knew what was coming even though he did not. Another storm was approaching. Some of it was clouded and warped and She could not see the details, presumably because the variables were too great, but they were rapidly approaching several fixed points that could not be altered. She only hoped they could be happy in the brief time they had left.

She doubted the Dark Girl would be difficult to recruit. The human had banged her head against Her walls many times over the two of them. She had been concerned for the Dark Girl's health. The human skull was a delicate thing and while She was quite used to having Her corridors walked through and things dropped on Her floors, the sensation of having a human head banged repeatedly against Her walls and struts was not exactly…pleasant. She couldn't imagine it was too comfortable for the Dark Girl's delicate head as well.

Her Doctor, though tired, did not sleep again. After a time, he rose from the floor and made his way to his room. He changed from the clothes he wore in sleep to his suit–that blue one again, She noted.

Brown represented happiness and contentment among his people. She had been elated when She'd seen he had decided to wear a lot of brown in this regeneration, knowing Her Wolf was the cause of the joy in him. But this suit was the shade of blue that represented sadness and loss. He'd only worn it on several occasions–first during the weeks when Her Wolf had been mourning the loss of her mother, once or twice while he and His Wolf had been violated by the sentient sun, and over the last few days.

It was a good thing, She decided, that Her Wolf did not know what the colors meant to his people. It would only hurt her more.

Time passed.

The Dark Girl stirred in her room and She began to gradually raise the light in her room, simulating sunrise. The Dark Girl woke slowly and She hummed a greeting before turning the lights on all the way. The Dark Girl patted Her wall fondly before going to dress herself. She checked Her schematics to ensure She had placed the kitchen back where it was usually located, knowing that was where the Dark Girl would go first.

Her Wolf woke last and stayed in bed for a long time afterwards. Through their bond She felt Her Wolf's melancholy and apprehension. She was afraid to get up and face Her Doctor. She wished She could help her some other way than just nuzzling her telepathically and keeping her blankets warm. Finally, Her Wolf emerged from her bed and went into prepare herself for the day.

Rose was very much aware of the TARDIS's continuing attempts to console her as she got dressed. It was a relief to not have to dress like a receptionist anymore. The TARDIS had already relocated all of those outfits to the wardrobe for storage and Rose's closet was full once more of her favorite hoodies, shirts, jeans, leggings, and skirts. Trainers, boots, and practical sandals and flats were arranged in neat rows on the floor. She picked a dark blue shirt with elbow-length sleeves, a denim vest, jeans, and her trainers. She curled her hair and left it down just because she could. She applied copious amounts of eye makeup because she didn't have to look professional anymore.

Rose Taylor was gone and Rose Tyler couldn't be happier about it.

After breakfast alone, she went to the console room. Martha was there but the Doctorwasn't.

Martha smiled at her, eyes twinkling. "There you are! I was beginning to wonder if either of you planned on showing your faces today. So are we going somewhere?"

"I expect so."

"Where is he, then?"

She shrugged. "Dunno. He wasn't there when I woke up."

Rose wouldn't bother her with all the details unless she had to. The Doctor was either going to pretend nothing happened or he wouldn't and things would be awkward. Then she'd wait until he was out of earshot then tell Martha. Her friend was so thrilled to be on the move again and she wouldn't spoil her mood with their problems if she didn't have to. It wasn't her job to solve them, anyway.

When the Doctor finally arrived—wearing the blue suit again, she noticed—his eyes lingered on her for a moment longer than normal. Specifically on her shirt and she realized idly that it was the same shade as his suit. She hadn't even thought about that when she chose it, plus she'd expected him to be back to brown now that they were on the go. They stared at each other for a moment longer then he was doing his manic dance around the console to pilot them somewhere great.

He took them to one of Rose's favorite amusement parks, Sky Island, on the planet New Danmi in the Andromeda galaxy. New Danmi had an unusual magnetic field and many of the minerals in its earth were very metallic. As a result they literally had floating islands. Sky Island was about the size of the Isle of Man and located above a tropical sea.

Many of the rides were made of a synthetic material that resembled glass but were tougher than titanium. Their transparency made it seem as if the coaster cars were flying through the air on their own unless one looked just so and then the elaborate structures were visible. There were thirty two traditional roller coasters, twenty coasters where the cars were actually flying through the air guided by virtual tracks, thirty other rides, and a water park with an array of water rides, pools, and lazy rivers.

Martha was quickly enthralled by it. She had a million questions about the island itself while they were in the queue to get their access bands so they went to History Hill first, a small mountain devoted to the history of the island, planet, and solar system. One of the rides was all about the island and you rode through in a circular four-person car that spun quickly every so often. Sky Island, like many of the other floating islands, had been born from the sea and as it gained mass it slowly rose higher and higher until it was cut off from the ground below and continued to drift upwards. In another thousand years it would reach its pinnacle and then, over the course of millennia, would gradually descend back into the sea.

While Martha listened to the recorded voice explain all this, the Doctor sat quietly between her with his arm on the seat behind Rose, not quite touching her.

After Martha felt suitable educated, they descended from History Hill into Racer Valley. This five kilometer long stretch of park contained the fastest rides. There were two of them that went so fast that the Doctor would not let them ride on the grounds that their 21st century bodies were not strong enough to handle the sheer amount kinetic energy.

"Generations of space travel and alien genetics," he explained, "made the humans of this time able to handle speeds that would've killed their ancestors."

There were others he wouldn't let them near, either. These didn't achieve deadly speeds but they could still have negative effects on their bodies that he would have a difficult time reversing. They ended up not riding very many in this section and the three that they did were the slowest ones of the lot. Afterwards, they moved to the Kiddie Park just for fun. They were too tall for most of the rides, of course, but there were some aimed at teenagers or allowed for accompanying adults that they decided to go on, because why not?

As Rose had predicted, he had decided to pretend things were okay and last night had never happened. He bounded around the amusement park, as energetic as a child, chattering away happily, and reaching for her hand. Sometimes she took it. Other times she ignored it because if he could pretend things were fine then she could pretend she didn't see his hand waiting for hers. Still, she tried to not let her mood spoil the day. It was oneher favorite parks, after all.

Martha rode on one of the virtual-track coasters and was a little too freaked out so they decided to forgo the rest of the Flying Field coasters. There was one attraction, however, Rose refused to pass up. It was an obstacle course that you flew through. Upon entry, each person is given a hover pack that uses a form of sonic energy to keep the wearer afloat, much to the Doctor's delight. He spent a good three minutes explaining the benefits of sonic technology and the other uses for the frequencies they used in these packs to the attendant and Martha had to drag him away so they could get in the course and the attendant could get back to work.

While they were making their way through the course, Martha waited until the Doctor had flown ahead before circling back to Rose, who was taking her time going through. "What's going on?" she asked quietly.

Rose sighed.

"He's acting too…normal, and half the time you are acting the same way, and the rest of the time you seem upset. Something happened, didn't it?"

"Yeah," she confirmed. "And he's gonna pretend it didn't. That's how he copes."

"But you don't want to do that."

She shook her head.

Martha sighed heavily. She raised her arms and thrust downward, propelling herself up and over the thick bar running through the middle of the corridor. Rose dove beneath it, straightening on the other side. Martha returned down to her level as they weaved through golden pillars.

"I thought things were a bit tense yesterday. I was hoping you two would work it out on your own."

"We—he—I don't…" Rose lowered her head miserably. "If I try to approach him about this, he'll run. He ran last night before I could even explain why—"

Martha put her hand on her arm comfortingly. "You have to try."

Rose hummed noncommittally.

After the obstacle course, they headed to get lunch. They spent an hour browsing the various food stalls and restaurants on Dining Cliffs. When they were done, they took a teleport to the other side of the island where the water park was located. They bought swimsuits in one of the shops—both women chose one-pieces for practicality, Martha a dark gold and Rose a light pink. Rose decided to ignore the way the Doctor's eyes roamed up and down her body when she emerged from the changing stall and did her best to not stare at his exposed skin, either.

Rose headed straight for the lazy river, grabbed an inner tube, and plopped down on it. Martha joined her, holding on to one of the handles of Rose's so they didn't drift too far apart. The Doctor declined to join them and instead sat alone on one of the deck chairs set out for the patrons.

So far today had gone well enough. At least she was meeting his eyes and holding his hand every so often. It wasn't much, but considering she'd rejected him last night and he'd run, it was more than he expected. She could've refused to come at all and the fact that she hadn't gave him hope. Maybe they could move past this. Maybe she wouldn't leave him again.

He was afraid to see what John Smith's life had been like without her and he certainly didn't want to know what his own would be like without her in it. Now that he'd experienced life with her he could never go back to the way he was before.

He should talk to her. He knew he should. But he still had no idea what she'd originally been wary about and things had strenuous enough then. One wrong move now could ruin everything. She'd never once hinted that she regretted not staying with her family in the other universe but he was afraid that he might've finally given her one.

When Rose and Martha finally reached the end of the mile long circuit nearly ten minutes later, they saw the Doctor perched in a yellow deck chair, chin propped on his fist, looking melancholy. They glanced at each other then slipped out of their inner tubes and waded over to the steps. Her saw them coming and perked up, a too-bright smile on his face. Then he dragged them over to the nearest wave pool, just in time for the next round to start.

Martha had never been in one before and decided very quickly that she did not enjoy being tossed around in the deep end and retreated to the shallow waters, leaving the two of them alone to battle against the waves. There was an obvious gap between them where he normally would've been, keeping an arm around her to help her to stay afloat. Neither of them looked at each other for a solid minute after Martha left.

The Doctor finally glanced over at Rose after a particularly large wave rippled past. "Having fun?" he asked.

"Yeah!" she panted, kicking frantically to keep her smaller body at the surface. And she really was.

Days on New Danmi were 49 hours long so the sun was still high in the sky when he informed them they'd been at the park ten hours and they should probably head back to the TARDIS.

Good, Rose thought. You and I need to talk.

But he didn't give her a chance. Muttering something about engine work, he disappeared into the bowels of the ship within a minute of dematerialization. In an unspoken agreement, Rose and Martha went to the kitchen to make dinner together like they always did on the nights they both got back to the flat around the same time. Rose asked the TARDIS to inform the Doctor that they had food set aside for him but he never made an appearance.

He didn't show up in her room that night, either. She laid awake for what felt like hours waiting for him until she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore and slipped into a fitful sleep. She had the dream again. They killed everyone, they killed him, he became John, and John abandoned her. She woke up crying, tangled in her sheets, but he did not come. She pulled his pillow to her chest and tried to go back to sleep.

The next morning she crawled blearily out of bed and decided she did not want another night like that. She sought him out, fully prepared to corner him and physically restrain him if that was what it took to get him to listen. But when she found him in the console room, Martha was there and they'd already landed. She'd requested a shopping spree so he'd taken them to a mega mall on a space station in the 24th century and they spent the day browsing hundreds of shops, fending off energetic stall vendors, trying food, and riding boats along the river that ran through the mall. By the time they made it back to the TARDIS laden with bags, both women were exhausted. The Doctor got the TARDIS to relocate their things to their rooms then disappeared before they could stop him.

Once again the Doctor was a no-show and the night would've passed the same as the last if the TARDIS had not intervened, humming gently and soothing Rose's mind as she slept. She did not have the dream.

Two more days passed in this manner. Rose would get up with every intention of talking to him only to be whisked off to somewhere fun, kept busy all day, and then left alone when their adventures were over. He was running and running hard. She wanted to catch him, wanted to explain. She didn't want him to be mad at her anymore and he needed to know that she wasn't mad at him and didn't blame him for anything. But he wouldn't even let her. When they were alone, he hardly looked at her. When she even hinted at the subject he changed it quickly or tried to distract her. Finally, on the fourth night after a day at a resort, she couldn't take it anymore.

The Doctor sent the TARDIS into the vortex and then headed for the door, claiming he had work to finish from last night, and Rose snapped. "Stop it!"

He spun around, eyebrows raised, and she saw a hint of fear in his eyes.

Days of stress and emotional turmoil had taken their toll and she hadn't been sure what emotion would burn strongest when she finally confronted him. It seemed that anger had won out. "I'm sick of this! Sick of it, y'hear? I'm not stupid, Doctor. I know what you're doin' and I've had enough! Stop runnin' away from me!""

Martha, recognizing the beginning of a row when she saw one, made a face and scurried out of the room.

Rose waited until the sound of her friend's footsteps faded before she began again. "You're a coward," she spat, "you know that? A right proper coward! Always runnin' from something, don't matter what, you just run 'cos you can't face it."

"So?" he demanded. "What's wrong with being a coward? You don't know everything I've done Rose, you have no idea the things I've been through. I think I've earned the right to run away."

"Maybe I would understand if you'd bloody tell me! I see you hurtin' over somethin' but when I try to talk to you—when I try to help you—you push me away! You clam up; you change the subject! You can't run forever!"

"I have to! This is what matters, here and now." He jabbed the air in front of him for emphasis. "I can never look back, never go back, and I can't ever stop. If I did I—I'd probably go mad."

"I won't let you," she promised quietly.

"And when you're not around to stop me?" the Doctor demanded. "What happens when you're gone? You are the one thing that's made my life worth living since the Time War. If I stop running then what's gonna happen once you're gone? Am I supposed to just let myself descend into madness? An ordinary madman is bad enough, but a mad Time Lord with no one to stop him?" He swallowed, fear flashing across his face before he clamped down on it. "I can't do that."

Rose sighed heavily, hand on her hip. "I'm not an idiot, I know there's things you don't wanna face but I shouldn't be one of 'em. Our relationship, or whatever you want to call it, shouldn't be somethin' you fear as much as the bloody Time War!"

He frowned. "I'm not afraid."

She slapped the rim of the console. "Don't give me that! You're terrified of us. It took you nearly two years to work up the courage to even kiss me. An' I don't count the Gamestation 'cos that was somethin' else. Now look at you." She gestured furiously around the room. "Pretendin' there's nothin' wrong when there obviously is. You didn't even give me a chance to explain why I pushed you away the other night and I've been tryin' to for days now!" She stalked around the console towards him and his eyes followed her intently. "Stop avoiding me and just talk to me! " She yelled when she was right in front of him.

The Doctor glared at her for a long moment, then turned away, running his hand through his hair in agitation before finally growling, "Fine. If that's the way you want it, I'll talk."

She threw her hands into the air. "Finally!"

He whirled around. "You abandoned me."

She recoiled sharply, arms dropping to her sides. His words mirrored the ones John had spat at her a week before, the night he saw her for the first time.

Her voice was like ice. "I didn't! You were the one that sent me away!"

"That's not what I meant!" he shot back, fists clenched. "I meant afterwards. You didn't stay with me. You promised you would, Rose. You promised."

"I kept you—I kept the watch with me the whole time. Losing it at the end was an accident, I didn't mean to. I kept you safe, just like you asked."

"And my body?" the Doctor demanded. "That was still me."

"No it wasn't."

"John was me. He was me—this me—without the Time Lord's consciousness and memories. Everything John was, I'm capable of."

He'd probably been trying to soothe her, she knew, but terror seized her heart and she had to fight the urge to step back. "Everything?"

"Everything."

"N-no. No. That's not—he wasn't—you aren't—" Shaking her head in denial, she licked her lips and tried to figure out how to make him understand. Her earlier anger had faded, replaced by fear and desperation. She would not lose him over this.

"Remember when Cassandra was inside me? Remember how you could tell it wasn't me? Think about it. Things she said and did, you could just tell it wasn't me. It was my body but I wasn't in control and once she stopped pretending it was obvious. I knew from the get go when I saw her in you and I hated it. …I HATED IT!" She screamed, tears in her eyes. "I'd only just gotten used to you in this body and then that bitchy trampoline took it! Then now with John, I—I didn't want to have to watch another man, day after day, walkin' 'round in your body."

She shook her head. "I accepted it when you regenerated because I learned it really was still you. I know you Doctor, I know you better than anyone, and I saw 'im. I saw John Smith, I watched him sometimes just to see your face. I know what I saw and he may've had your body but it weren't you in there!"

Rose stared at him for a moment longer, lips trembling and tears trickling down her cheeks. "And I'm sorry if it hurt you, I am, really. But I never wanted to look at the man I love and see a stranger lookin' back at me. Once was enough, I couldn't do it again. And I didn't…I didn't want…. I didn't want to love him, too. I didn't want to even risk it. 'Cos…if I had, then I'd have had to choose which one of you got to live. How could you expect me to even do something like that? How? …I never left you, Doctor. I never, everleft you, and I never will."

He opened his mouth and then shut it. He looked torn and heartbroken and clearly had no idea what to say. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. They were both quiet for a minute.

"The other night—" he opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing. "Why?"

She wiped her eyes again and sniffled. "That first mornin' I woke up with you there in the room…I thought you were him. I spent so long keepin' the two of you separate in my mind and then suddenly I was mixin' you up. I hated myself for it."

"No, Rose, don't—" he started to say, reaching his hand out.

"No, stop. Let me finish," she said, wringing her hands. "…He wasn't you. But, then, he had to be. An' he wasn't—he didn't—he didn't do what…" she sighed in frustration. "He tried to avoid it, tried to get out of it. Tried to give 'em the watch. You wouldn't've." She finally met his eyes again. "You'd have gone and given yourself over 'cos that's who you are. I know it, even if I wouldn't want it, you'd do it."

The Doctor nodded once, just a slight incline of his head.

"He wanted to livebadly and I had to convince him to kill himself. Then I had to face Violet. I tried to make it up to her, I tried, but, God, I felt like I was tryin' to stick a plaster on a bullet wound. An' you know what? She didn't hate me, Doctor. It's my fault this happened to her and she didn't even hate me. She should've. I would've. Johndid."

"He what?"

Rose shook her head. "I saw the look on his face, I heard it in his voice. He even told me he wanted nothin' to do with me." She licked her lips. "You said you're capable of everything he was. How comes he hated me, Doctor?"

The Doctor had his eyes closed. His entire body was tense, his lips pressed tightly together.

"Now you won't even look at me?" she demanded.

"Shh."

"Don't you tell me to—"

"No, Rose, just…shh, please…. I'm looking," he explained. "I have all John's memories but I haven't gone through all of them. Didn't want to."

"Afraid of what you might see?" Rose guessed.

He hesitated and then nodded, eyes still closed.

She licked her lips and something else she'd been wondering about bubbled past her lips. "Did he sleep with her?"

That caused the Doctor's eyes to fly open. "What?"

"Did John sleep with Violet?" she repeated.

"Does that matter?"

YES! Of course it does! She wanted to shout. Because even if the mind in the body hadn't been his, the body still had been. And it was stupid, and maybe a little petty, but she couldn't stand the thought of that other woman of having something she'd been waiting so long for. He was hers.

The Doctor exhaled slowly, eyes slipping shut again. "No. To both."

She was both relieved and confused. "I know what I saw."

He shook his head. "He knew who you were before you even confirmed your identity and he was so…happy. But he knew the emotions came from me and he was trying so hard to escape, so he rebelled. In that moment you represented everything he was denying so he lashed out at you. He degraded you. He tried to make you not want him in hopes that you would back off and take Martha with you. That you two would come up with some way to save everyone and he could stay with her."

"So he—he didn't hate me?"

"Of course not," the Doctor said gently and opened his eyes. "He could never hate you, even in his final moments. It just wasn't possible for him. After all, he came from me."

"And you don't hate me?" she asked in a tiny voice.

Brown eyes flipped wide in horror. "No! I'm a little upset with you but of course I don't hate you! How could you even think I…? I could never hate you, I—" He paused, took a deep breath, and as exhaled, the Doctor murmured, "I love you, Rose Tyler. You know I love you. So, so much, and I always will."

Rose stared at him for a full second before she realized that he'd finally said the words. She'd known for a while, of course (how could she not?), but she hadn't anticipated the way her heart would soar and her body would sing upon hearing the words. She felt like running around and whooping with joy and shouting to the universe just so it would know, despite all the times it had tried to split them up, he loved her.

What she did instead was grab him by his lapels and pull him down for a heated snog. He responded with fervor, mouth opening under hers, their tongues dancing together. Their hands roamed across each other's bodies, pulling them closer and closer. Next thing she knew her back was pressed up against the back jumpseat. He reached down and lifted her up by the waist, and without breaking the kiss he shifted them around so she could sit on the edge of the seat. She wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him closer, pressing her body against his, and he trailed kisses down her throat. She whispered his name and her love as she raked her nails through his hair.

The Doctor drew back, panting, and looked her in the eye. "Rose…are you sure?"

Rose pressed another kiss to his lips. "I'm sure. I'm completely sure." She jumped down from the seat. "But not here, yeah?"

He smiled, slipped his hand into hers, allowed her to lead him out of the console room.

There we are, then. :) I'll get the next chapter up soon. But don't hold your breath for any M content.

(Also, nonny, while I find it amusing that you tell off my reviewers - and some of them find it very amusing, too - I must say, your attempts to pretend to be multiple people are slipshod at best and your comebacks are as lame as your suggestions. And since you're telling me to take ideas from other fics, which is essentially like telling me to plagiarize, why would you ever think that I'd listen to any of your suggestions? Now take a hint and shut your mouth.)