All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.

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Never Let Go

Chapter Eight

"I'm sorry, Bella. My son's hurting right now so the best thing would be to let him call you. Don't give up on him though. If he asked you to write him – keep writing him. He loves to get those letters from you. He lives for Wednesdays when the mailman comes."

"I will," I sniffled. "Are you upset with me, Esme?"

"Oh, Bella, honey. No, I'm not upset with you at all. You're doing what you feel you have to do. I can't fault you for that. What does upset me is that you and Edward are both hurting. No mom ever wants that for her kids."

"I miss you …" I whispered.

"I miss you too, sweetheart. It's late, why don't you try and get some rest. If you need to talk, you know where to call."

"Thanks, Esme."

"You're welcome."

Talking to Esme quelled the ache in my heart a little bit. If I couldn't talk to Edward, Esme was definitely the next best thing. I have to admit, I was a little pissed that Edward didn't tell me how angry he truly was that I was leaving. I hated the thought that I hurt him so deepl,y and I was powerless to do anything about it being so far away with no way to contact him.

Esme had told me that Edward asked her not to give me his grandparent's phone number or address. She also told me that she couldn't tell me anything about why Edward made the decision to go to Chicago for the rest of the summer. I knew he was supposed to be playing summer ball in preparation for the spring season the following year. Why he'd up and leave like that, I had no idea.

I laid in bed for a long time that night thinking about Edward. At one point I pulled out my notebook and wrote him a letter. I hadn't written a single letter since I'd been home, and I had quite a few to make up for. Unfortunately, my emotions were all over the map as I was writing. I'd be sad one minute and angry the next - sad because I missed him, and angry because he didn't leave me a way to talk to him while he was in Chicago.

I still hadn't heard anything from Edward when we returned to Las Vegas and there were no letters waiting for me.

Weeks passed by and Mom was still on the "let's move to Phoenix" bandwagon. I wasn't surprised, but as time passed, she wore me down. I still hadn't heard from Edward – no phone calls or letters. I spoke with Esme a few times a week but I never mentioned him and neither did she.

As much as it hurt, I knew I needed a change. Maybe Phoenix was just what I needed. I know that I promised Edward I would be on the first plane back to Seattle if Mom decided she wanted to move, but since I hadn't heard from him I couldn't bear the thought of returning to Forks just to have Edward ignore me.

Mom had given our thirty days' notice at the beginning of August. We went to Phoenix for a few days to secure our apartment there and to get me enrolled in school. I'd start high school the Tuesday after Labor Day and a little over a week before my fourteenth birthday.

Phil hired movers to move us, but Mom and I still had to pack up our things and get them ready to go. I was a little sad to say goodbye to Las Vegas, it held a few good memories for me: Edward surprising me at my concert and playing for me; my dad taking us to Circus-Circus.

Part of my change was to get involved in other activities. When I enrolled in my classes, I chose to take Choir again, and I inquired about trying out for the volleyball team. Tryouts would be the week before school started and practices would begin as soon as players were chosen. Ballet was another thing I asked my mom if I could sign up for. There was a nice little dance studio not far from our apartment and it was within walking distance of the school.

"Bella … if you really want to do it, go for it. But I don't want you to get overwhelmed."

My dad wasn't happy about the change in address, but when I told him that I wanted to try out for sports and dance along with being in the choir he gave in. He even offered to pay for my dance classes.

"Bella Marie, it's ridiculous for you to pay for your dance classes with your allowance. Save your money for something you really want. I'll take care of your dance classes and whatever else you need."

"Thanks, Daddy. You're the best."

"I try, kiddo. I really miss you around here ya know? I miss Edward too. I haven't seen him since you left."

"You haven't?" I gasped.

"Nope. All I know is that he went to Chicago immediately after baseball camp and he's not due home until the day before school starts."

That was new information to me.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I haven't heard from Edward either. No phone calls, no letters, nothing. He's really mad at me."

"Keep your chin up, baby girl. He won't be mad at you forever."

Once we'd gotten all our things into our new apartment in Phoenix, Phil started working with me every day – helping me get ready for volleyball tryouts. He'd take Mom and me down to the Y and they'd both work with me. I'd played in middle school and we even played a few times over the summer but I'd never tried out for a team before and I hoped with all my heart that I'd make the team. If not, I wasn't sure what I'd do with my time.

Fortunately, I did make the team. The coach called to make sure that I'd be at practice the following day. Once I'd gotten my volleyball schedule, I could sign up for my dance classes. When school began, I'd have volleyball practice three days a week. Our games were held twice a week and I'd have dance two days a week. Thankfully, my schedule didn't overlap.

With a promise to both my parents that I'd maintain good grades in addition to my extra-curricular activities, I started my freshman year of high school.

The night before school began, I laid on my bed penning a letter to Edward. My heart was still aching from his absence and it seemed so strange not to talk to him the night before the first day of school. He had always been there for me to calm my nerves. I hoped that by writing him I'd feel a little better.

I'd kept my promise. I wrote him every day. Maybe the letters weren't more than a paragraph or two, but at least I'd made the effort. I mailed them faithfully every Monday but had yet to receive any in return.

Dear Edward,

It seems so strange not to talk to you the night before the first day of school. It's been our MO ever since I can remember. My dad said that you were supposed to get home from Chicago today. I hope that you had a good visit with your grandparents.

To be honest, I'm hurt that I haven't heard from you since I left. Believe me, it's not because I haven't tried. I've talked to your mom a few times each week but we never mention you – talking about you makes us miss you even more than we already do.

I guess by now you know that Mom and I have moved to Phoenix. I know I said that if it happened I'd be on the first plane home but since I haven't heard from you ,I guess you're angry with me and I didn't see the point of coming back to Forks if you're just going to ignore me.

I know I hurt you in leaving, Edward, and I'm so very sorry for that. I hope that one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me and that you'll talk to me again. I miss you. I miss you more than I can express on a piece of paper and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I hope that you think of me. If the only promise I can keep is never letting go – this is me holding on.

Have a good first day of high school.

Yours,

Bella

EPOV

I was devastated when my mom told me that Bella and her mom were moving to Phoenix. Like it wasn't enough of a blow that Bella left Forks an entire month early.

"Is Bella coming back to Forks?" I asked hopefully.

"She didn't mention it when I talked to her, sweetheart."

My heart felt like it had sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

I came to Chicago because I couldn't bear to be in Forks. Bella should have been there with me. She was supposed to be there when I came home from baseball camp.

"She misses you so much, sweetheart," my mom told me sadly.

I missed Bella too. So fucking much.

I came home from Chicago the day before school started. I didn't want to have time to think about Bella more than I already did. When I stepped into my bedroom I found six weeks' worth of letters waiting for me. She kept her promise. One of them, anyway.

It hurt like hell not to pick up the phone and call her the night before school started. I thought of calling and asking Charlie for her number in Phoenix, but that meant that I'd have to explain to him why I didn't come back after baseball camp and why I hadn't been in touch with Bella, and I wasn't ready for that. My mom, however, thought she'd make it easy on me.

"Edward …" She said softly as she stood in the doorway to my room. "Here's Bella's phone number in Phoenix. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you. She starts school tomorrow too, you know."

"Thanks, Mom."

No matter how much I wanted to pick up the phone, I couldn't do it. I picked the letters up from my bed and shoved them into the box under my bed with all the others – unable to bring myself to read any of them. I unpacked my suitcases and backpack – pulling a soft brown bear from the top of my stash. I threw him onto my bed with all the other stuff. After I'd put everything else away, I looked over at him and in a moment of anger, I shoved him under my bed too.

Later that night, as I laid in bed, I felt the ache in my chest begin to throb. Exhausted and frustrated, I reached under my bed and pulled the damn bear out and crushed him to my chest. It was the only tangible piece of Bella that I had left, and I wasn't kidding that I'd take whatever part of her she'd give me.

School the next day was like any other first day of school. Emmett picked me and Jazz up knowing that we'd stay after school to throw the ball around for a bit. Emmett would join Jazz and me after football practice.

"Edward, honey, don't forget that you have piano lessons on Wednesday in Port Angeles. Your new teacher is anxious to meet you."

Shit. I'd forgotten all about piano lessons. Not long after I'd gotten to Chicago I made the decision to find a new teacher. My previous teacher had retired about a year ago and I hadn't bothered trying to find anyone new. Mom was excited that I was anxious to pick lessons up again but she didn't know that it was just because I wanted something to keep my mind busy and off of Bella.

"Hey, Edward … you wouldn't happen to be looking for a part-time job would you?" My good buddy, Mike Newton asked.

"Umm, I don't know why?"

"My parents are looking for someone else to work in the store part time. Just a couple days a week and on the weekends."

"I might be interested if they're willing to be flexible with the schedule."

The next day afterschool, I found myself walking downtown to Newton's Sporting Goods. I'd talked to my parents about it the night before and they were both supportive of me finding something productive to do as long as it didn't interfere with my grades.

Mrs. Newton was very nice and quite excited that I'd come in to inquire about the job. I'd known Mike since we were in kindergarten and we played baseball together. I wasn't as close to him as I was to Jasper but close enough that I'd been over to his house over the years and had spent some time with his folks.

"How are you, Edward?" Mrs. Newton asked.

"I'm okay." I replied. "Mike told me you were looking for someone to help out part-time?"

"Oh, yes, we are. Are you interested?"

I nodded and we chatted for a few minutes about what they were looking for. Someone to help out on the weekends and a couple days a week just like Mike said. I told her that I'd be available every day except Wednesday because of my piano lessons in Port Angeles. I could work in the evenings after baseball practice from five o'clock to closing and whenever they needed me on the weekends.

"Sounds like you've got a job, Edward." Mrs. Newton smiled.

"Thanks." I smiled in return.

"Hey, Edward … how's Bella? I haven't seen Charlie in a while to ask him about her. I know you two are pretty close so I thought I'd ask you."

"Oh, umm … she's okay I guess. I haven't really talked to her since she was here in July."

"Oh." She frowned. "That's too bad."

Yeah, too bad.

After that, I spent the next couple of weeks immersed in school, playing baseball, working and playing the piano. I liked my new piano instructor immensely – she challenged me and I hoped that I'd find my passion for it again. When Bella left, I couldn't bring myself to play any of the pieces I loved so dearly because all of them were tied to Bella in some way.

Bella.

I'd been writing to her every day but I couldn't find it in me to actually mail her letters. I knew I was hurting her by not sending them, but deep down I wanted her to hurt as much as I was. Her letters came every Wednesday just like they always had. I'd find them on my bed when I got home from piano lessons and just like I had when I came home from Chicago – I stuffed them into the box under my bed.

Before I knew it, two months had slipped by and we were well into November. My mom had picked me up from school one afternoon and we stopped into the Thriftway where we saw Charlie. I still hadn't spoken to him and it was a little awkward.

"Hey, Edward. How are you, Son?"

"I'm doing okay, Charlie. How are you?"

"I'm as good as I can be, I guess. Have you heard from Bella lately?"

"Umm, no. I haven't talked to Bella."

"At all?" Charlie asked incredulously.

I shook my head.

"Edward …"

Charlie's usually strong voice was no more than a whisper when he spoke.

"Bella needs you. She's got so much going on in her life and she wants to share it with you. Don't give up on her. "

That wasn't the first time I'd hear those words out of Charlie's mouth. It was definitely something for me to think about.

"Is Bella coming back for the holidays?"

"No. She doesn't really have time. I'll be going down there for Thanksgiving and then again for Christmas. If you want to know why, you're going to have to make the effort and talk to her about that Edward. Have you even bothered to read any of the letters she sent?"

I shook my head again.

God, I felt like such a shit. There was so much I was missing out on because of my stubborn pride. I was missing out on important things in my best friend's life all because I couldn't get past my own heartache.

BPOV

I was so glad that Charlie was coming for the holidays. I wasn't able to go to Forks because of my schedule. The volleyball team had made the regional championship so I had practice the day before Thanksgiving and a game the day after. Charlie didn't want to miss the game. He wasn't looking forward to meeting Phil but after all the help Phil had given me, I couldn't ask him not to come so Dad would have to deal with it.

A week before Thanksgiving, I had fallen asleep – exhausted from my long days no doubt. Mom tended not to bother me if I was studying and I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Having my own phone line was one of the perks to living in Phoenix – Dad paid for it and Mom didn't ask questions.

I picked up the receiver and glanced at the clock on my bedside table. Two a.m.

"Hello?"

"Bella …" I heard in a whisper.

He said my name quietly but I'd know that voice anywhere.

"Edward?"

"Yeah …"

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I … I can't do this anymore."

My heart fell at the sadness sin his voice.

"Do what, Edward?" I asked softly.

"Ignore you."

"Oh, Edward …" I whispered as tears filled my eyes.

I never wanted to hug him more than I did in that moment. Edward sounded so sad and broken – a huge difference from the strong and happy Edward I was used to.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I just wanted some space so I could absorb everything. I never intended to let it go this long."

"I know," I said softly. "That's why I never stopped writing. I knew you were angry but I wanted to keep my promise to you."

I wanted to tell him I felt bad for breaking my promise about coming back to Forks, but I couldn't bring myself to regret that decision. I was happy and content with school, dance and volleyball.

"I … I just finished reading them; your letters. I feel like I've missed out on so much, Bella."

"You kinda have, Edward. You are the only thing missing from my life. I wanted to call you so many times but I didn't want to push you. I'm glad you called."

"You are?"

"I am. Granted, I wish you hadn't called at two in the morning, but I'll take what I can get and I did tell you that you could call anytime."

"I'm sorry I woke you, Bella."

"No, don't be … don't worry about it. I've missed you – more than you can imagine. It's so good to hear your voice."

We talked for a few more minutes and I began to yawn.

"Jesus, Boo. You're exhausted."

"Mmm …" I hummed.

"I'll put your letters in the mail tomorrow, I promise."

He hadn't stopped writing me after all – he'd just been holding out on mailing them.

"'Kay."

"Will you call me after you read them?" He asked softly.

"Of course I will, Edward. Just know that it won't be the day after I get them. Between volleyball, dance, choir and book club, I'm a little busy."

"I know and that's okay. Take your time."

"I miss you," I said again.

"I miss you too, Boo. Talk to you soon."

I barely remembered hearing the click on the other end of the line. After that, I dreamt of warm arms, a velvety voice, and a childhood tree house.

The day before Thanksgiving, volleyball practice ran really late. So late in fact, my mom and dad came into the gym to get me.

"Dad!" I yelled out as I jogged over to meet him.

"Hey, kiddo!" He smiled as he pulled me into a hug.

"Swan!" Coach yelled. "We're not done here."

My dad walked with me back to where my teammates and Coaches were sitting on the gym floor.

"Coach … this is my Dad, Charlie."

Coach stopped up from the floor and took my dad's offered hand.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Swan. Bella here is a very talented volleyball player."

"Thanks."

Mom and Dad stood off to the side as the team finished up our talk.

"See you ladies on Friday!"

We went to Phil's for Thanksgiving, and as much as I wanted to help Phil in the kitchen – I knew I needed to spend time with my dad.

Phil's sister, Sam, came. She was moving to Phoenix from somewhere in Florida to be closer to Phil – the only family she had. Surprisingly, Dad and Phil got along really well. Mom and Dad may have had their differences and disagreements but they didn't seem to belittle each other to other people or partners. Granted, I told Phil all the time about stuff I did with my dad, and I talked to my dad about stuff that I did with Phil.

While Mom, Phil and Sam congregated in the kitchen, my dad and I went out to sit on the deck. It was a beautiful and warm sunny day.

"You excited about the game tomorrow, Bells?"

"Yes and no. I mean, I'm nervous, but I want us to play well – as a team to play well. Even if we lose – as long as we play well – the win won't matter."

Dad grinned.

"How'd you get to be so smart?"

"I'm kind of like my Dad like that."

"How's dance – ballet or whatever it is that you're taking?"

I giggled.

"Ballet, Dad. It's good. I really like it. I'm excited for our holiday recital. You're coming, right?"

He nodded.

"I am. Mom emailed me the date. I'm flying in on the red-eye the night before and I'm leaving the day after Christmas."

"Cool. That will give us a few days to hang out."

"Yeah …. Have you heard from Edward?"

I told Dad about my phone call in the middle of the night and the large envelope full of letters I received a few days later.

"Have you called him back yet?"

"No, I haven't finished reading them all yet. There are too many to read all in one sitting and honestly … some of them make me cry and I have to stop reading for a while."

"Did you tell him that?"

"I did. I still write him every day and mail the letters once a week. I promised that I'd call as soon as I finished reading them all."

"Good. Now that he's done ignoring you, maybe he'll quit ignoring me."

Dinner was simple but delicious. What should have been an uncomfortable meal was actually very pleasant and it made me feel a lot better about Christmas.

Friday morning, my mom and I got up at an ungodly hour and went shopping. There was something she wanted to get for Phil and if she wasn't there at three a.m. to be in line for when the doors opened at five, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to get it.

We met Phil and Dad for breakfast, and afterward Mom left with Phil to finish her shopping while Dad and I returned to our apartment so I could take a nap before I had to get ready for my game.

Thankfully, Dad didn't mind hanging out while I was napping. He was content to sit and watch football. Mom was the one who woke me up to get ready for the game though. I showered even though I'd have to take another one as soon as we got home. The parking lot at the gym was starting to fill in as we pulled up. I made my way to the door to the locker rooms after waving goodbye to my parents and Phil.

We were to play three sets and the winner would be the best of the three. Each set was played to twenty-five points. As I walked into the locker room, the atmosphere was calm and I knew that each of my teammates focus was on the game. There was no talk of the previous day or shopping that had occurred in the wee hours of the morning. Everyone was game on.

Coach gave us another short rundown of our strategy and a brief pep talk before ushering us out into the gym. After being introduced and standing for the National Anthem, we took our places.

The opposing team had come from Tucson and they had a nearly flawless season. We'd only had two losses ourselves and we were eager to see if they had brought their game.

"Come on, Bella. You've got this." One of my teammates urged as I took my place to serve the ball.

I wasn't expecting an ace and the other team didn't disappoint. The ball volleyed back and forth several times before one of my teammates went in for a spike and we got the point. Everything we gave they sent back to us and vice versa. The first set seemed like it took forever but it was a good set and we won 25-23.

The second set, we didn't fare as well. The opposing team's ire for losing the first set had ignited something within them or maybe it was the fact that we were riding a high from winning and lost our focus. Coach called a time out when we were down by eight points.

"Ladies … you've got to regain your focus. You won the first set and they were rattled now you've all got your head in the clouds and they're focused. Come back to the game and play like I know you can."

We lost the second set 25-21.

The teams both took a brief intermission between the second and third sets. We needed a minute to regroup and refocus. I couldn't bring myself to look up into the stands to try and find my parents. I didn't want to think about them. I wanted to think about the game and playing well. With the exception of the second set, my team had played really well so far.

We huddled and had a brief pep talk again before returning to the court. We were ready. The other team served and I stood – playing opposite right by the net. The ball came toward me and I set it so our blocker could spike for the point. We quickly high-fived each other and turned our attention back to the game. Much like the first game, we volleyed back and forth until there was a kill. The score was 20-19 in our favor when it was my turn to serve.

"Come on, Swan. You can do it!" I heard my coach yell.

I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to block out all the sounds in the gym until I heard a familiar voice.

"Relax, Boo! Focus!"

I wasn't sure if the voice was in the stands or only in my head. I couldn't chance turning my head to look so I took a deep breath and raised my hand to serve the ball. I watched the white sphere as if it were in slow motion – sailing cleanly over the net and into the other team's territory. I watched as it glided right through their middle blockers fingers and bounced on the floor. Before I could process what was happening, my teammates were shouting and surrounding me – congratulating me on the game winning serve.

My coaches picked me up and carried me on their shoulders as my teammates jumped up and down around us in excitement. I blushed seven shades of red – hating all the attention I was getting. When they finally set me on my feet, the Superintendent of Schools presented us with a trophy and congratulated us on a well-played game. Coach made a short speech and handed the mic over to the assistant coach who presented me with a trophy for being the most valuable player of the game.

"You're also in the running for MVP of the year, but you'll have to wait for the sports banquet in the spring to see if you win." Coach grinned.

Thankfully, Coach knew that I wasn't one for public speaking and didn't ask me to say anything. Instead I was able to retreat to the locker room and get my bag. Everyone was going out for pizza and we weren't bothering to change into our street clothes.

As I walked out of the locker room, Coach pulled me aside to ask me about something when I caught a flash of bronze out of the corner of my eye. I looked over to see Edward standing with my parents at the bottom of the bleachers. Carlisle and Esme were standing next to them chatting away.

I couldn't believe it. He was actually here.

"Umm … Coach? Can we talk about it later? I have someone here I need to go see."

Coach chuckled.

"Sure, Bella. Enjoy the victory party and we'll talk on Monday."

I jogged over to where my family was standing.

"Edward?"

"Hey Boo!" He beamed. "That was a great game!"

"Thanks! How … when did you get here?"

Carlisle and my dad chuckled.

"We got in this afternoon. We would have come over earlier, but I really wanted to surprise you."

I smiled widely.

"You're the best surprise ever."

A/N: Thoughts?

For those of you who are following my other story, When You Least Expect It – I have two outtakes that will be ready for posting this weekend. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that the first of September was sneaking up so fast (I'm going to blame it on the brain blur because I'm in denial that I'll be another year older this weekend). Anyway – I am still working on two outtakes that I want to post before I post the Mike and Kaden outtakes – so please hang in and be patient for a little while longer? Pretty please? I promise to post them as soon as they're ready!

I hope those of you in the States have a fantastic Labor Day Weekend!