All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.

No copyright infringement is intended.

HUGE thanks to my betas darcysmom and twimom817 as well as my pre-reader EdwardsMyObsession1971 – they make my writing better.

Never Let Go

Chapter Nine

"You're the best surprise ever."

Edward opened his arms and I went to him willingly, hugging him tight.

"God, I missed you, Boo."

"I missed you too. So much."

I could hear the chuckles of our parents around us, but I didn't care – I missed Edward way too much.

"Swan! You gonna join us for pizza?" One of my teammates yelled.

I slipped out of Edward's embrace to face her.

"Yeah … I always do."

I turned to Carlisle, Esme and Edward.

"You guys will come too, right?" You're not leaving right away are you?" I asked in a panic.

"No, sweetheart," Carlisle chuckled. "We're here until Sunday evening so you'll have to put up with us until then."

"So you guys will come with us for pizza?"

"Of course, we will!" Esme smiled.

After throwing my bag in Mom's car, I rode with the Cullen's in their rental car to the pizza place. Edward opened the door for me and we walked in together, our pinky fingers twined together.

We had some things to talk about, but the bottom line was that he was my best friend, no matter what. We agreed on the ride to the restaurant that we'd talk later.

My coaches were pulling tables together with the help of other teammates. Edward released my pinky to help out.

"Who's the hottie?" My friend and teammate, Stacie, asked.

"That's Edward," I replied with a smile.

"Your Edward?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Girl, you're crazy. With a boyfriend that hot, you should be wherever he is. I'm shocked someone hasn't stolen him away."

Although I'm sure they weren't meant to be, her words were biting and nothing less than the truth.

"He's not my boyfriend," I said quietly.

"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that, Bella. You are head over heels for him … and by the way he's looking at you right now he feels the same way. Why fight it?"

I sighed and looked up to see Edward walking toward me. He pulled out a couple of chairs and motioned for me to sit next to him. Edward's pinky found mine once again and he rested our hands on the table.

"You okay, Boo?"

"Yeah, I'm good." I smiled. "So when did you guys decide to come to Phoenix?"

"After I talked to Charlie. He encouraged me to read your letters – to see what was going on in your life. Then I read them and realized that I was missing out on so much. That's when I called you. A few days after we talked, I saw Charlie at work – he came in to tell me about the game. I went home that night and asked Mom and Dad if we could come down to see you play. I just … I needed to be here."

"Thank you. I'm glad you came." I said softly.

"We would have come yesterday, but Charlie told Mom you were going to Phil's, so we thought it would be better to come today. We didn't want to intrude on your holiday."

"You wouldn't have intruded – you're practically family, Edward. It would have altered our plans a bit, but it only would have made them better."

The rest of my team arrived and the pizzas were brought to our table. I introduced Edward and he fit in with the rest of the group as only he could. We laughed and chatted until the owners finally asked us to leave so they could close up for the night.

Now that I had Edward, Esme and Carlisle close to me, I didn't want to let them go.

"Honey, I'm going to stay with Phil while the Cullens are here – that way Carlisle and Esme can have my room. Your dad can sleep in your room, and you and Edward can have the living room."

"Really?"

"Yes, honey. I know how much you miss them, and they came all this way to see you. Enjoy spending some time with them."

"Thanks, Mom."

When we got back to the apartment, Carlisle, Esme, and Dad all said goodnight. They were tired after such a long day.

Edward and I took turns in the bathroom and then laid out thick blankets on the floor to sleep on. We lay down next to each other and talked for hours. I apologized for not having finished reading all his letters and he shushed me saying it was okay.

"Bella … what we have is special. We argue, disagree and walk away from each other but when we come back to each other – we're better. Stronger and even more connected to each other than when we left. I love that about us because I know – no matter what that we'll be okay."

I snuggled up next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me.

We were okay, and we both had faith that we always would be.

The next day we spent sightseeing in Phoenix. I hadn't had a chance to see a lot since things happened so quickly after we moved. With school, dance, and my other activities I didn't have the opportunity. I'd spend my weekends doing homework and hanging out with my friends or Mom. Esme had us up early. Far earlier than Edward and I would have preferred after staying up for hours talking.

Mom and Phil came by and we caravanned to the Desert Botanical Gardens where we spent most of the morning walking around. Esme was mesmerized by the various plants and flowers. I stayed close to her, enjoying her presence and her views of the world around her. We walked arm in arm and chatted as we walked. Even though we had talked on the phone a few days a week, we missed each other.

"I'm so glad you guys came." I said quietly.

"Me too, although, I don't think Edward gave us much of a choice. When he found out that your team made the regional championship – we had to come down and see you play. Of course, Charlie also told him that you wouldn't be coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas because of your commitments. He's missed you so much, Bella. He needed to come – he needed to see for himself that you're doing okay here."

"I miss him too, and I am doing okay here. More than okay." I smiled. "Mom actually has a normal job. She works nine to five, five days a week. She's home in the evenings for the most part unless she and Phil go out. We have dinner with him occasionally – sometimes at his place and sometimes we go out. We both hate Mom's cooking so he rarely comes to our place unless I cook. Phil's nice. He's good to me and Mom."

"I'm glad you're happy, sweetheart. That's all I can ask for."

I know she probably wanted to say she wished Edward was happy too, but until I returned to Forks, I had a feeling that wasn't entirely possible.

Later that afternoon, Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and I went to Camelback Mountain and went hiking on one of the lower trails. Mom and Dad were actually going to spend some time together – I would assume to talk about me. Phil was making dinner for everyone and expected us back by early evening.

Edward and I walked the trail side by side staying several feet behind Carlisle and Esme. It was so easy being with Edward and his parents. They accepted me and loved me like I was their own. I found myself thinking back to the words that my teammate had said the day before – that she was surprised that someone else hadn't stolen Edward's heart. I couldn't imagine Edward with someone else. The mere thought of it broke my heart.

"Bella? Everything okay?" Edward asked softly.

"I … I was just thinking."

"About?"

"You … and something one of my teammates said to me last night."

"Which was?"

"That she was shocked someone hasn't stolen you away. I told her that you weren't my boyfriend."

Edward's eyes were wide as he bit his bottom lip and thought about what I had just told him.

"Bella … I … that's impossible. No one could ever steal me away from you. I may not be your boyfriend, but I promise that will never happen."

My heart warmed a little at the serious look in his emerald eyes and the conviction in his voice. He was telling me without words that he was my Edward and always would be.

"Bella … can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I replied.

"Honestly?"

"Always."

"Do you think you'll ever move back to Forks?"

I looked over at his sweet face and his eyes were full of fear. He was truly afraid of my answer. I could feel my pulse race as the consequences of my answer weighed heavily on my heart. If I said the wrong thing it would break his heart and that was the last thing I wanted to do. If I said yes, but couldn't give him a time frame it would eat at him, and if I said no – he would think that he wasn't a good enough reason for me to come back. I couldn't let him believe that. He was every reason I should have gone back but I was too scared.

"I … I honestly don't know what to tell you, Edward. I don't want to hurt or disappoint you." I chuckled. "It seems like it always comes back to the fact that I'm still scared."

"I don't want you to be scared, Boo."

"I don't want you to feel like you're not good enough."

My voice broke and I couldn't stop the tears that welled up in my eyes.

"How did you know?" Edward whispered as he pulled me into his arms and hugged me to his chest.

"Because, I know you. I know you better than anyone, Edward. It would be just like you to feel that way when it's the farthest thing from the truth. It's me who isn't good enough for you. If I was, I wouldn't be hurting you all the time."

"Bella, no …"

"Stop, Edward. Please stop. Don't tell me that I'm not hurting you because I know I am. You made me a promise and I've broken the one promise I made you that you cared about the most and I can't do it again. I will come back to Forks, Edward. I will. I just have no idea when. I feel like I'm hurting you again because I can't even give you a timeline."

I sniffled into his chest and he rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"It's okay, Bella. I see the life that you have here and you seem really happy. You haven't been happy like this in a long time. I want this for you as long as you're happy."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'm not selfish enough to make you unhappy."

"I know," I whispered.

"We're going to Chicago for Christmas." Edward offered in an attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. That's another reason why I wanted to be here so badly this weekend. I wanted to see you and I knew that even if you weren't busy and were still planning on going to Forks to have Christmas with Charlie, I wouldn't be there."

"I'll still miss you," I murmured.

"I'll still miss you too, Bella."

We rejoined Carlisle and Esme and walked back to the car. The ride to Phil's was quiet. Both Edward and I spent the time staring out the window – both probably thinking about the conversation we'd had on the trail of the mountain.

Dinner wasn't quite ready when we arrived. Phil said we had another forty five minutes or so which was okay because Mom and Dad still hadn't arrived yet. Phil and Carlisle fell into easy conversation while Esme set the table and chopped vegetables for a salad.

I asked Edward if he wanted to go for a walk to a nearby park. He nodded in response, and I took some bread from the pantry and told Esme and Phil where we were headed.

The park was about a block away from Phil's house. It was a large park with a man-made lake, grassy picnic areas and a playground area with swings. I led Edward over to the lake.

"What are we doing?" He asked.

"Feeding the ducks." I smiled.

I took the bread out of the bag and began to crumble it up and toss it into the water. Edward seemed to watch in awe as the ducks gathered around me – all eager to get something to eat.

"Give me some bread."

I handed him some bread and he followed my lead.

"I come here whenever I get a chance. I love to feed the ducks." I offered.

"I'm sure they appreciate it."

"They're fun to watch. It takes my mind off things – if only for a little while."

When we ran out of bread, we went over to the playground area and sat on the swings. It reminded me so much of when we were younger - we'd swing together for what seemed like hours. Before I knew it, Edward was behind me and I was squealing.

"What are you doing?"

"Pushing you!"

Edward's warm laughter filled the air and it was the best thing that I'd heard all day. If I could have found a way to bottle it up and save it for later, I certainly would have.

I was miserable the next afternoon when I had to tell the Cullens and my dad goodbye. I knew I'd see my dad in a few weeks, but I didn't know when I'd see Edward or his parents again. I wanted to tell them I'd see them over spring break but I couldn't even guarantee that. The spring schedule for the choir was pretty busy. I had Honor Choir in January and then Spring Sing Fest right around spring break. I'd have another ballet recital in there somewhere, but it was too early to tell.

After they left for the airport, I immediately went back to my room and finished reading all of Edward's precious letters. They were much like mine – some were angry while others were sweet and heartfelt. He poured his heart and soul into each and every one of them.

"Finish reading Edward's letters?" My mom asked from my bedroom doorway.

"Yeah." I sniffled.

"Good stuff, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Sweetie … as you know, I talked to your Dad last night."

I nodded.

"He really wants you to move back to Forks, you know that right?"

"Yeah. Edward does too."

"I can only imagine, honey. That boy really does love you."

"I told you that, Mom."

"I know and I didn't want to believe it. I wanted more for you. I still want more for you. That won't ever change."

"I know, Mom. Where are you going with this?"

"Nowhere, I just wanted to let you know what we talked about."

Mom really didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, but it was nice to know that Dad had reinforced the fact that he wanted me in Forks to her.

The weeks after Thanksgiving and the Cullen's visit were busy and stressful. I had Choir practice as well as extra ballet rehearsals. We played one more volleyball game the week after Thanksgiving but we were knocked out of our bracket. We played really well, but the opposing team played better.

I actually managed to talk to Edward a few times a week and I was feeling very spoiled by it as it got closer to Christmas and we both got busier. Edward was working more hours at Newton's in addition to practicing to try out for the basketball team.

As promised, Charlie flew into Phoenix on the red-eye the morning before my ballet recital. We were performing the Nutcracker as a part of a joint production with the Arizona School of Classical Ballet. It was being held at the Mesa Arts Center. It was a big production because we'd be dancing to a live orchestra – something I definitely wasn't used to but was looking forward to.

Ballet had come very naturally to me. I was a bit on the clumsy side when I was younger but when I put on my ballet slippers, my feet figured out what they should do. My teacher moved me into an advanced class about a month after I started taking lessons. I loved it but it demanded more of my time. Time I'd gladly give.

I was at school while Mom picked up Dad from the airport. She was going to drop him off at our apartment so he could get a little rest while I was in class. It was the last day before winter break began and I was so excited. I'd have a little under a week to spend with my Dad but in that time, I still had a couple of Choir concerts to attend and I knew he'd love to come hear me sing.

I raced home from school that day. I was anxious for my performance that evening, and anxious to see my Dad. I was nervous by the time we got to the Mesa Arts Center. My instructor promised me that I'd be fine and to focus on something that made me happy while I danced.

Our performance wasn't flawless but it wasn't noticeable to anyone but the dancers themselves. I did as well as I could have and I was glad just to make it through without a broken ankle if I was being honest with myself. When I changed and walked out into the auditorium, I found my parents and Phil standing there with a huge bouquet of pink roses. Mom handed me the flowers and told me how good she thought it was. Phil echoed her thoughts while my Dad stood to the side with a shit eating grin on his face. He was holding a smaller bouquet of sunflowers and irises. He handed them to me after kissing me on the cheek.

"You were perfect, baby girl. Well done. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Daddy. The flowers are beautiful."

"Oh … those aren't from me, I just picked them up at the florist. I had very specific instructions."

"Edward?" I grinned.

"Who else?"

"That brat. I told him not to send me anything!"

Sure, I'd told him not to send me flowers but I was so happy that he did. They were beautiful and they made me smile.

I called Edward the next morning to thank him for the flowers and I promised that my Dad would return to Forks with several videos that he could watch if he got terribly bored. Edward was busy getting his things packed – he and his parents were getting ready to leave for Chicago in a few hours.

"Will you call me when you get there?"

"Of course, I will, Boo. I'll even give you their number so you can call me if you need to."

"'Kay. When are you coming home?"

"On the twenty-seventh. My Dad has to get back to work."

"Yeah. My Dad is leaving on the twenty-sixth. He's got to get back to work too."

We promised to talk to each other soon and ended our call. I spent the week with my Dad. We had a lot of fun – shopping and doing a little sightseeing.

"Bells … why don't you come home with me for a few days. You don't have choir practice or ballet until you go back to school and even then you don't go back to school until the second week of January. You could come spend New Year's with me and the Cullen's. Esme's expecting me and you know she won't complain if you're there. It will give your mom and Phil a chance to celebrate their anniversary without worrying about you."

"But the ticket … airfare will be so expensive last minute, Dad."

"You just let me worry about that, baby girl."

"I'd get to see Edward for New Year's?"

"Yup," Dad smiled.

"Can we not tell him? I'd kinda like to surprise him."

"Sure thing, baby girl."

Christmas was low-key. Phil went to his sister Sam's house in Florida, helping her pack up the last of her things before she moved to Phoenix. That left Mom, Dad and me to have Christmas by ourselves. I cooked a nice dinner for the three of us and we sat and watched movies. It felt like we were almost a family again. Mom helped me pack my suitcase that night and I flew out with Dad the next morning.

I couldn't wait to surprise Edward. We'd talked briefly on Christmas Day and he said his flight got in around eleven in the morning and that they should be home by four at the latest. I insisted that Dad talk to Esme and invite them to our house for dinner without giving up too much information. I was only too happy to cook dinner for everyone.

While Dad was at work, I cleaned up the house and started on dinner. Esme called and left a message on the machine saying they were in Sequim and were going to stop at home before coming over for dinner.

Two and a half hours later, my Dad was helping me set the table when I heard a knock on the door. My Dad grinned at me and went to answer it.

"Charlie Swan! It smells fantastic in here, when did you learn to cook?"

I bit my lip and giggled to myself at Esme's reaction.

"Well, I didn't exactly learn how to cook, Esme. Come on in. Merry Christmas, Carlisle, Edward."

I stepped out into the hall and Esme looked up from removing her scarf and saw me standing there. The smile on her face was a mile wide.

"Edward …" Esme said softly.

He looked at her and she pointed to where I stood.

"Merry Christmas." I smiled.

"Bella …" Edward breathed.

"Hey," he said softly as he strode toward me, linking our pinkies together.

"Hey, yourself."

"Are you my Christmas present?" He asked shyly.

"Not really, but if you want me to be, I'm more than happy to stick a bow on my head."

After dinner, Edward and I sat bundled up on the front porch swing. We were watching the snow fall silently around us.

"You're not here for good are you?" Edward asked sadly.

"No, I'm not."

I wrapped my arms around Edward's bicep and snuggled into him – inhaling his scent and soaking up the warmth of his body.

"I have to at least finish this school year." I said softly.

"I'm hoping to go to a baseball camp in California next summer."

"Really? That big one?"

"No, it's a smaller camp, for more elite players. I think Jazz and I will make the cut this year. But I'll be gone for six weeks. I leave three weeks after school gets out."

"But you'll be home for your birthday?"

"Yeah."

"I wouldn't want you to be alone on your birthday, Edward."

"I wouldn't be, Boo. But it's a moot point because I'll be home, and don't you worry about me being alone at camp because Jazz and maybe even Emmett will be there."

Jazz and Emmett were two people we hadn't talked about much since we'd started talking again. We pretty much focused on ourselves. But it was nice to bring them up again and I hoped to see them while I was here. Alice, however, I kept in touch with. She had truly become one of my very best friends even with the distance. She helped ease the pain of being so far from Edward. She kept an eye on him, but when Edward and I weren't talking – she never mentioned him. She knew it was painful for me.

"How's Rosalie? Still her same bitchy self?"

"She's better actually. She's still bitchy but not as bad as she was. She really seems to like Emmett."

"Oh? And how is that going?" I giggled.

"He's still not overly impressed, although I think she's wearing him down."

"I like Emmett. He's a nice guy and I'm happy that you have him to hang out with."

"He's pretty fond of you too, Bella. He asks about you pretty often."

I was warm and happy curled up next to Edward, but our little bubble was burst by Carlisle and Esme saying it was time for them to leave. Carlisle had a shift early the next morning at the hospital. I promised Edward I'd see him the next day and watched as their taillights faded into the darkness.

A/N: I'm sorry this is late, I completely forgot that yesterday was Tuesday! This whole holiday on a Monday thing has thrown off my entire week!

Thoughts?