For the rest of the day the princess tormented and tortured me. The pain of both the physical torture and the mental torture was more than enough to drive me to madness. I would beg and plead them to stop when nothing was happening. I was even beginning to imagine them torturing me even though no pony was there. It was easy to tell that I had finally slipped into madness and my mind was an empty husk at this point. I started talking to objects and even myself.
I developed mood swings and started hallucinating. I could see faces everywhere watching and guards coming at me with sharp weapons. The hallucinations were so bad I even began to feel the sharp pain of their spears even though they weren't there and they didn't make wounds. I even became so frantic that I tried digging my way out through the bottom of the ship. The only good that did was fill my hooves with splinters and wear them down until they were bleeding and the skin and hoof had peeled away only showing raw flesh.
In my head I could constantly hear whispers which would grow into violent shouts at any given time. They all told me things. They told me to remember... I can't remember. In fact the more I tried to remember the more my insanity took hold and I even began forgetting things from only weeks ago. The more I tried to remember the more I forgot. There were even some points where I would just be washed over within and cry out for it to stop. And if I cried out loud enough it would.
After my scenes of insanity and mental instability the guards gave up on torturing me and I went back to my little cage. It seemed to be the only place keeping the darkness out. Everywhere I went a black cloud would float around me and only give me enough space to see about three feet all around me. It was just as big as me cell and would creep along the bars like a parasite. It never went away and I couldn't see, hear, or sense anything outside of the darkness. The black fog was always showing me new faces and old ones too. They all laughed at me.
I knew that I would slowly slip into a greater madness than this. It had been two days already... From what I can tell though. The guards usually come in and beat me to near death every day or so. They would bring me back with healing potions and if I started to slip away they would use magic to shock me back to life. It was probably the worst pain I've ever been in. The cell was cold and it seemed to grow colder every day... Soon there was an unlocking sound at the door to my cell. I thought it was the guards come here to beat me again so I shriveled up in fear and covered my head.
" I can't believe this." Said a strange voice. The door opened up and a purple unicorn walked into the cell and out of the darkness. She looked familiar. I soon recognized her as twilight sparkle... I can't remember much about her with my current state of mind but I was afraid of her. It's usually the unicorns that hurt me the most. She walked over and looked at me with pity. Her eyes seemed to calm me down and I was feeling less afraid.
" please... Leave me alone." I said wondering if she was really here to torment me.
" I'm not here to hurt you..." She said. " I can't believe what you've become... You used to be strong and hardy... But I can see now that your mind is slipping and the torture isn't helping."
" go... Please go." I begged. For some reason looking at her amused me great pain and her voice felt like it was going to make my ears bleed.
" I talked to the princess and she said she would have the guards stop torturing you... Besides... Canterlot is just a few hours away... You'll be at peace soon, I hope."
" I- I can't be at peace... Need... Need to re-remember... Must think..." I said speaking out in madness and not knowing what I was saying. It felt like I didn't have a conscience anymore and that I was just nothing but mindless darkness and despair. No happiness, no hope, and no faith... Just fear, pain, and agony. She let out a sigh and sat down next to me. I was still afraid and hid my dice. She started rubbing the side of my head and I began to calm down a bit... I was pathetic.
I wanted to burst out in rage and reclaim my former glory but I was not able to do that. With my mind gone and darkness and pain surrounding me I couldn't think of what to do. I couldn't hold a thought for more than five seconds and most of the time my mind kept me from thinking rationally at all. She continued to pat me on the head like I was some kind of stray dog... I might as well be.
" I'm sorry you had to go out this way." She said. " I truly am... And if it helps you now... I forgive you..." We sat there and she comforted me as best as she could. But my body was cold and I was shivering. The cell was stained with my blood and I was covered in open wounds and blistering red marks from whips and lashes. I had several broken ribs and they had cut lines through my ears. She kept petting me and soon enough I could feel the boat jerk forward and stop... We were here.
I could tell that we were here because I saw a few tears fall from twilight's face. She didn't look like she was crying but tears were falling from her face. They fell down and landed on my neck and face. I could tell that if she had it her way I'd be free and on my way with whatever I was doing before. I looked at her now with fear and regret. Even though I didn't know much and I couldn't remember anything... I knew what was going to happen.
" time to go scar..." Said a voice outside of the black fog. They soon walked into the cell and made shape. They were two guards., both unicorns. They used their magic to pick me up and drag me between them.
" let's go miss sparkle." They said. " their chess wishes to see you." Twilight just nodded and led into the black fog. The guards started walking and carried me away with them. We went up a few flights of stairs and soon I realized we were on the deck. I couldn't see anything but black but I could tell from the breeze and fresh air we were outside. I could hear birds chirping and singing in the distance.
They carried me away and I watched as the ground changed from the wooden deck to a dirt path. I don't think I remember what dirt feels like. I almost wanted to reach down and touch it but I have more things to worry about now. As they carried me along everything was silent then I could see the ground change to marble and a few structures lightly poke out of the fog. I had to guess we were in some kind of castle now.
We walked around through the castle. We took left and right turns and the guards put me down to tie my hooves together as we'll was my wings. They picked me back up and commanded me to walk as a few other guards walked with us now encircling me. I was tired and worn down so I lagged behind a lot. Every time I did the guards behind me would shove me forward and I would pick up the pace as much as I could until I fell behind again and the process repeated.
As we moved forward I could hear the roaring and cheering of thousands of voices growing slightly louder and louder. Soon enough they sounded very close but muffled at the same time. I could hear a voice talking out amongst them and they claimed down. I couldn't hear what it was saying. It was just a bunch of muffles and noises. After a while the voice stopped and the roaring picked back up again. We moved forward a bit and there was a pain of doors. They swung open and the roaring grew cleared and it was ear shattering now.
The guards punched me along through the roaring noise. I could tell there were thousands and thousands of ponies here cheering and roaring at ,y execution but I couldn't see any of them past the darkness. We kept moving and moving then we came to a stop and only two guards remained the other lined up and as we moved forward there where was a line of guards on both sides of me as we moved up to some kind of platform and we stopped.
And just then something happened. The darkness around me started pushing back and back... Further and further and I could see ponies faces coming out of the darkness. They came out in hundreds at a time as the darkness repelled away like a nightmare. They all looked at me with hatred and started throwing things at me. Soon there was light and the darkness Was gone. I looked out over the sea of ponies and saw that this was my place of death.
In front of me was an ornate and sharp looking guillotine. It was reared up and ready to go. The guards pushed me forward until I was right in front of it. I looked over the crowd and to my horror I recognized every ponies face. They were the faces in the darkness mocking me... Now they're here to watch me die. I could feel my head about to explode from my insanity... I just want it to end... God please make it end.
There was a flash of light and the crowd grew silent as the princess appeared on the platform with me and she had twilight and five other ponies with her. I recognized a few of them but I didn't know how I knew them. They looked at me all with regret and anger... Accept for the purple one whose name has already escaped my head. But I recognized the princess's face... She burned her image into my brain with fear and hatred.
" standing before you is the criminal scar..." She said to the crowd. I just looked over them with no emotion. " scar you stand guilty of various unspeakable crimes against Equestria and her fellow ponies... Your sentence is death by guillotine... Do you have any last words..." She said looking at me now.
" I do..."I said not knowing what I was saying. I looked over the crowd. " killing me now may be what you want... But it does no justice... It won't fix the damage... And the suffering won't end with me... There's never an end." I said. I wasn't saying this. Something was making me say this. " there will always be fear... Horror, death, and misery... It doesn't end with me... You may feel safe sleeping tonight... But it won't be long until I am replaced"
I stopped talking and the guards pushed me down onto my knees. They shoved my head down and rested my neck on the slot of the guillotine. I knelt there scared and confused. I didn't want to say anything but I couldn't help but say that... It's like it was something that I needed to say, I don't even know what it means. The ponies just washed away my final words with roars and cheering.
The drums of the guards started to start beating and the princess walked over to the rope holding up the blade. She looked at me and I just stared out over the whole crowd. Everypony wanted me dead... I wanted to die too. I sat there and the princess waited and kept me sitting there in excruciating ambition. Then her horn glowed and a small beam shot from it and it cut the rope of the guillotine.
At this time the guillotine started falling. It felt like it was falling forever. I looked back over the crowd and a single tear fell down from my eye. The voices in my head began laughing maniacally and they tortured me one last time. The blade fell and as the moment everypony was waiting for... It came down on my neck... And my head rolled. I felt no pain... But I couldn't feel envy thing anymore. Everything stopped and the second I was dead everything went black... There was just darkness everywhere... I was dead... No excuse this time, I'm stone cold dead.
I could feel my sanity start to return to me and I looked around still aware in this pit of endless black. I knew that there would be no heaven for me... No nirvana and no limbo... Just an everlasting place in the circles of hell. I'm sure that the devil even has a special circle just for me. But instead of hell I was greeted with something else... Laughter. There was laughter filling the air and piercing my ears. It was a deep demonic sounding laugh.
" must you continue to amuse me." Said an evil voice. I was afraid now... I was sure this was the devil.
" just take me devil... I know my place is in hell." I said bearing my chest and accepting my fate. The voice just laughed again but louder this time.
" I am no devil..." Said the voice. " i am but the deliverer... And you are not mine to deliver to either side... You must carry on." Said the voice.
" what do you mean... I am dead." I said yelling out now.
" and what a twisted and beautiful death it was... I knew you would be driven into insanity... I foresaw it... Just as I knew this would be the destruction of you and your hope."
" what are you." I asked. A black puff of smoke fumed up in front of me and a tall robed figure with a scythe grew up from the darkness and stood out glowing in the darkness. He only managed to radiate more darkness that stood out from the rest.
" I am death... The deliverer... The harvester of souls and keeper of light and death." He said. His very air seemed to make me shiver in fear and cold and back away.
" why are you tormenting me like this... Just bring me to hell." I said.
" there is no hell for you..." He said. " you who keeps toying with me... You continuously cheat me and in the two times you have died I am staid from your soul... But you do not know." He said.
" what do you mean... Two times... I can't die twice that's impossible." I said.
" poor forgetful fool... You have no need to be confused... You need to remember... You need to achieve peace in your existence... Now remember." He said sparking a cloud of light glowing dust over at me.
It covered my body and lifted me up. It spun me around and started seeping into my soul. I started to remember...I can remember now... Everything... All my life flashed before my eyes, every memory, experience, and skill I've learned over the years was passing through me. It was a pain Like no other. I could feel the overwhelming power inside of me breaking out and ripping my soul into pieces.
The darkness soon started to fade and became light. There was so much power and energy running through my body and tearing its way through my soul. It inflicted a direct pain right to my soul which burned like no other pain before. I started to remember who I was and what I had become. I was in a severe state of confusion and I could feel my insanity start to clamor back to me and seep into my head as I began to feel and sense everything around me. The light soon washed over and I had become one with it... I had reached an eternal peace within myself.
Every emotion every memory shot right into my brain like an arrow to the head. The constant pain and throbbing was killing me. I began putting the pieces together and I had started to remember my life in perfect order and synchronization. Every little detail and every little word ran through my head... Like I was re living my life at an incredible pace. And when I had time to breath and the pain stopped the light subsided back into darkness and I let out a deep breath of shock and awe.
I was whole again...