All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.
No copyright infringement is intended.
HUGE thanks to my friends, betas and pre-reader – darcysmom, twimom817 and EdwardsMyObsession1971. You ladies are the BEST!
Never Let Go
Chapter Fourteen
No one mentioned my little breakdown on the court after the game - not my family, my friends, my teammates, my Coaches – no one.
I went to the locker room and changed before going back to the gym. I was nervous about facing my mom and what I'd say to her. I stood behind what I said to her, and I wasn't about to apologize. I wondered if she would apologize.
Edward and Esme were waiting outside the locker room when I walked out. Edward took my bag while Esme pulled me into her arms.
"I love you, sweetheart. You played an amazing game tonight. I hope that you are proud of how well you played."
God, I loved Esme. She knew exactly what I needed to hear.
I nodded and turned to Edward. His expression was still full of worry. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he opened his arms for me. I breathed in his clean, sweet smell and murmured into his chest.
"I'm all right, Edward. I'm not perfect, but I'm all right."
I felt his body relax slightly at my words, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead before resting his chin on the top of my head. I realized that he'd gotten much taller since I'd seen him at the beginning of the summer.
"My mom's right, you know. You were amazing tonight, Bella."
His velvety voice washed over me and Edward warmed me from the inside out with his words.
"Come on, sweetheart. Your dad wants to take you out to dinner." Esme urged softly, breaking Edward's and my embrace.
"Where's my mom?" I asked.
"Outside with Phil, Charlie, and my Dad." Edward replied.
After telling my coaches and teammates I'd meet them at our favorite burger place, we walked outside. Phil was standing with his arm around Mom, while Dad and Carlisle were debating which football team would win the next day.
Mom looked awful. Her makeup didn't cover the dark purple circles around her eyes or the bags below them. She smiled as we approached and she looked like she wanted to run to me and hug me like Esme had earlier, but she held back.
I could feel Edward's hand grasp the shirt at my back. I didn't know if it was out of anger or worry but I made a mental note to ask him about it later.
"So … shall we go to dinner? I hear we have a victory dinner to attend." Dad grinned – his pride shining through.
"I'm not really up to it, but you guys go ahead." Mom said tiredly.
"Mom …" I argued.
"It's okay, sweetie. We'll talk later. I want you to go and enjoy. I'll be thinking about you."
I hated that Mom didn't want to join us – especially after she made the effort to come to the game.
"Tired, kiddo?" Dad asked as we drove to the restaurant.
"Exhausted."
"I bet," Dad chuckled.
For the next few hours, I tried to forget my disagreement with my mom and enjoy myself.
Most of my teammates from the previous year remembered Edward, and once again, they welcomed him right into our dynamic. He held my hand under the table, and the contact comforted me.
Stacie, who had been nasty to me prior to the game, was ignoring me altogether. I had a few more practices and maybe a couple more games with her and then I was done. Thankfully, she had a different set of friends than I did off the court.
Dinner was fun – we talked about the season and some of our funny and not so funny moments. Coach mentioned how sad she'd be to see so many of us moving to Varsity the following year.
"Looking forward to Varsity next year, Bella?" Coach asked as we walked out of the restaurant.
"Oh, umm … I hadn't really thought about it."
"Why not?"
"I … uhh … I won't be here next year. As soon as school is out, I'm moving to Washington to live with my Dad."
"That's wonderful, Bella! We sure will miss you around here though. Are you going to play volleyball in Washington?"
"I want to, so I hope so."
"Good."
That night, I collapsed onto my makeshift bed on the floor. Edward knew I was tired and he gave me plenty of space. I also knew he didn't want to add fuel to my Mom's fire.
The next day, Edward was still sleeping when I woke up. He looked so young and vulnerable. I couldn't help myself, so I lay next to him and watched him sleep. All the worry lines that had taken up residence on his face since Thursday morning were gone. I realized that I'd give anything to see him smiling and happy. The gears in my head began to crank as I worked out what to do that day.
I snuck out of the living room and into the kitchen where I heard voices whispering.
"Good morning, baby girl." Dad smiled.
"Morning."
"Did you get some rest, sweetheart?" Esme asked sweetly.
"Yeah," I yawned.
"So what's on the agenda for today, baby girl?"
"Well … I thought I'd take Edward to the batting cages and then maybe we can spend the afternoon at the Zoo?"
"He'll like that," Carlisle nodded.
Esme and Phil made a huge spread for breakfast and everything was so good. Edward loved my idea for the batting cages – his face lit up when I mentioned it. Phil volunteered to take us and bring us back to pick up Dad, Carlisle, and Esme to go to the Zoo.
Edward and I spent a couple of hours at the batting cages. I mostly watched because I sucked, but Edward was really good. Phil was impressed.
"He's really good."
"Yeah, he is. He also puts in a lot of practice. He says he can always be better."
Phil chuckled.
"Yet I have a feeling he'd give it all up for you."
"I'd never ask him to do that."
"You wouldn't have to. Edward's a good kid. He's smart, polite and good looking; but more than that, he's fiercely loyal. That won him huge brownie points in my book."
"Why?" I asked.
"Edward talked to your Mom yesterday while you were sleeping. She asked me to stay and Edward allowed it. He loves you, Bella. I think everyone sees it but you."
"Oh, God. What did he say?"
"Everything she needed to hear. How much her actions and words hurt you; how you put your happiness aside to be with her."
"He said that?"
"Yes. He also told her how lucky she is that you've stayed with her as long as you have. Edward said he'd have given anything for you to have stayed in Forks when she left Charlie. That boy would do anything for you, Bella."
I nodded, knowing it wasn't the first time Edward came to my defense.
I looked over at Edward as he was finishing up. He picked up his extra bat and took off his helmet as he walked toward me.
"Meet you guys outside," Phil grinned as he started for the exit.
"Hey, Slugger, you good?" I asked as Edward joined me.
"Yeah, thanks. You didn't get too bored watching, did you?"
"No," I giggled. "Phil and I talked a bit."
"Ahh … nothing too heavy, I hope?"
"He told me you talked to my mom."
Edward sighed.
"Please don't be mad at me, Bella." He begged.
"I'm not mad, Edward. I'm … thankful."
"You are?"
I nodded.
"Your mom told me she was trying to protect you – not hurt you. I promised her that I will always be respectful of you, and I will protect you as long as you'll let me."
"I'll always let you," I promised, hugging him tight.
We turned in his bats and helmet and joined Phil outside in the car. Esme and Carlisle were packing snacks in a cooler when we got back to the house.
Edward wanted to take a quick shower and I wanted to change before we went to the Zoo. It wasn't far from the house and we were there in no time at all.
"Ooh! Giraffes!" I squealed as I looked at the Zoo map.
Carlisle and Dad both chuckled at my excitement.
"If you hurry – they're doing a giraffe encounter in fifteen minutes." Esme smiled.
We walked over to the giraffe encounter, and while there were a few people waiting, the line wasn't bad.
"They're so pretty." I whispered.
"There is something majestic about them." Edward agreed.
Esme stood behind us snapping picture after picture. When it was our turn she continued snapping.
"Get closer you two!" Esme demanded. "Act like you're giving it a kiss."
Edward and I did as instructed.
"Awww, that will be so cute."
Edward finally tore me away and we made our way to the next exhibit. We saw the otters and lemurs - they were so funny. We even rode the camels which was quite an experience. Edward's favorite was the orangutans. They were so smart but still had the ability to make us laugh. Esme fell in love with the elephants - calling them the 'gentle giants'. They too were very majestic looking. The last exhibit we saw was the stingrays. Dad and Carlisle were awestruck by them.
"Reach your hand in there and pet them, Boo."
"No way! Are you crazy?"
Edward laughed.
"No, Bella. It's really cool, come on ... try it."
"Uhh uh ... no way, Edward."
"Please?" Edward asked, sticking out his lower lip and giving me puppy dog eyes. "I'll hold your hand."
"Edward ... please, don't. I really don't want to. I appreciate the thought that you'd hold my hand, but it really does scare the shit out of me."
Being honest with him was the only way I'd get him to stop begging me. I knew that he'd never push me if he knew how scared I truly was.
"Okay, Boo. I'm sorry, I didn't know."
He took my hand and tugged me into a nearby gift shop. We looked around for a few minutes. Esme joined us, and together she and I ooh'd and ahh'd over cute little things. When we had our fill, we went back outside to rejoin Dad and Carlisle. Edward snuck up behind me and grabbed my waist - making me squeal and jump.
"Edward!"
I turned to him and he pulled out two stuffed giraffes joined together at the lips. They had little magnets holding them together and they were adorable.
"For me?" I whispered.
Edward nodded with a shy smile.
"Edward, you didn't have to buy me anything."
"I know, but I saw them and thought of you … of us."
"Of us?" I asked raising a brow at him.
"Yeah … how I'd like to kiss you again like that one day. One day soon, I hope," he said softly.
If we weren't standing there with our parents just feet from us, I would have kissed him like he wanted because he was so adorable in that moment, and his words were melting my heart. Instead, I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek and whispered.
"Soon."
We stopped for dinner on our way home from the Zoo. We'd had such a nice afternoon that no one wanted to bother going home to cook. Phil and Mom had gone to his sister Sam's house and called to say they'd be staying for dinner. I had a key to get into the house, so it didn't matter when we got home. We lingered at dinner, but we didn't get home too late. We stopped at the store on the way home and bought all the fixings for ice cream sundaes – hot fudge, marshmallow crème, caramel, bananas, whip cream, M&M's, nuts, and cherries.
Carlisle scooped the ice cream while Esme sliced the bananas. Edward and I set out the other toppings, and Dad was the first one to build his huge sundae. Edward chose a movie and popped it into the VCR before we all settled down into our seats. I sat next to Edward and cuddled up with my favorite blanket while we shared a sundae.
He chose The Pelican Brief and I was glad. I'd seen it before as well as read the book and it was one of my favorites. I was so full from dinner and the sundae; and so cozy under my blanket that I didn't really notice when my eyes got heavy and I fell asleep leaning against Edward's shoulder. The next thing I knew, I was being gently tucked into my blankets on the floor.
"Goodnight, Bella. Sweet dreams, sweet girl." Edward whispered against my skin.
"Goodnight, Edward," I murmured.
Something jolted me awake, and it took a few moments for me to realize it was the wind whipping outside. It was just settling down when I realized I needed the bathroom. When I came back, Edward was sitting up, wide awake.
"Are you okay, Bella?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. The wind woke me up."
"Oh. Yeah, it sounds like it's really blowing out there."
I snuggled back down into my blankets while Edward stayed where he was.
"Are you okay, Edward?"
"Yeah, just worried about you. I hate falling asleep next to you only to wake up and find you gone."
"I had to go pee, Edward." I whispered.
"Oh, well, I wouldn't want you to float away."
I giggled.
"Come here, Edward."
He moved over closer to me and I snuggled up next to him, laying my head on his arm and tangling our fingers together.
I only had a few precious hours left with him and I wanted to be as close as possible.
.~*~.NLG.~*~.
"See you in a few weeks, Bella," Esme sniffled as we said goodbye at the airport.
"Yep. You're picking me up, right?" I asked.
"Of course, sweetheart, we wouldn't miss it."
I was flying into Seattle late on Christmas night. I wanted to spend Christmas with both of my parents so this was our compromise. Dad was at the Mill taking care of some business so he could take a couple days off while I was visiting. Carlisle, Esme and Edward graciously volunteered to pick me up at the airport.
"I'll miss you, Boo," Edward murmured into my neck as he hugged me tightly.
"I'll miss you too, Slugger."
The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas ran together. Volleyball practice, games, dance rehearsal, recitals, choir practice, concerts, studying, and finals. I went from one thing to another as if I was on autopilot. I couldn't wait for one thing to be over only to move on to the next.
The junior varsity volleyball team made it to the state championships once again and this time we played really well, winning two sets and ultimately losing to the better team. The loss was a bit devastating because we only lost by one point and it was on my serve.
Things were still a bit rocky between Mom and me. I was waiting for an apology that would never come. Every time I tried to talk to her, she'd dance around the subject and then retreat to her room or claim she had to run errands. Phil confirmed my fears one evening as he drove me home from practice.
"She's not going to apologize, Bella. She's sticking to her guns." Phil explained.
"Well, I'm sticking to mine too, and I'm not going to apologize either."
Phil nodded.
"Just between you and me, Bella, you have nothing to apologize for. I can't tell your Mom that though. She already thinks that the world is against her because she is the only one who feels that the relationship you share with Edward is wrong."
"I'm sorry, Phil. I didn't mean for you to get caught in the middle of all this."
"Don't apologize, Bella. You didn't do anything wrong. I feel like I'm saying that a lot, but it's the truth. Don't let it get to you and keep being the fantastic kid that you are."
"Thanks, Phil."
One evening, a few days before Christmas, I was sitting in my room listening to music and studying. My mom appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a set of festive pajamas and had her hair up in a ponytail. It crossed my mind that how she looked now was how I'd probably look in eighteen years. With her hair up, she looked younger – more vibrant than she'd looked since Thanksgiving.
"Hey, baby. I thought maybe since Phil's at his faculty Christmas party that you and I could pop some popcorn and watch a couple movies on the couch?"
"Mom … it's been three weeks and you've been putting off talking to me about what you said on Thanksgiving. Are you saying that you want to talk about it now?"
"No … I'm saying that I want to eat some popcorn and watch movies with my daughter."
"Why would you want to do that Mom? I'm still angry with you. I'm still waiting for you to apologize for what you said – for not trusting me. I know that Edward talked to you and while I don't know everything that he said – I know it was enough to get you to my game that night."
"Bella … I really don't want to get into this."
"Get in to what, Mom? The fact that you disagree with every other adult in my life? Or is the real problem the fact that I'm going to live with Dad when school is out?"
"I don't understand why you can't stay here, Bella."
"You don't need me anymore, Mom. You've got Phil. Why don't you want to try to enjoy your new husband and everything a new marriage entails? I'll be fine with Dad. I want to go."
"Do you want to go to be with your Dad or to be with Edward?"
"Honestly? Both. I miss Dad, I miss Edward, and I miss my friends in Forks. I can't wait to find out what it's going to be like to go to high school with Edward, Alice, and Jasper."
"Do you love him?"
"Of course I love Dad. What kind of question is that?"
"No, Bella. Not your Dad … Edward. Do you love Edward?"
I sat quietly for a moment.
"Yeah. I think I do. He makes me feel … special … and beautiful. Edward reminds me that I'm both of those things. He's good to me, Mom. I wish you could see past your prejudices against him and see how the little boy that I used to play in mud with everyday has grown up."
Mom entered my room and sat down on the bed.
"He loves you … he loves you so much, Bella. I see that without him saying a word. But he's always loved you. When he followed you around when you were little; I noticed. You could do no wrong in his eyes, but he knows you're not perfect and he accepts that. Edward would do anything for you – anything. He came and talked to me while you were sleeping – the day of your regional championship game. Did you know that?"
I nodded.
"I did, Mom. Both Edward and Phil told me about it."
"He told me that you've given up so much to stay with me because you thought I needed you. I did need you, Bella. You're my daughter – I'll always need you but most of all I need you to be safe."
"I am safe, Mom. I'll be just as safe living with Dad as I would be living here with you and Phil. Besides, do you really think that Dad or Edward would let something happen to me?"
"He did promise that he'd take care of you."
"He will."
That was the end of our conversation. Mom never did apologize. She simply stood up and walked out of my room. I rose from my desk and closed the door to my room. I flopped back on my bed and cried. I cried because I was heartbroken at the fact that she couldn't find it in her heart to say she was sorry. I picked up my phone and dialed Edward. I needed to hear his voice for the comfort it brought me. I felt bad for being so upset when I called him, but I knew he'd want me to call if I needed to talk. Edward worked his magic as usual, and before I knew it, my eyes were getting heavier and heavier. I wished him a good night and promised I'd see him in a few days.
Christmas Day was subdued. Phil and I made breakfast together after we'd ripped into the small pile of presents under the tree. Mom insisted that we get dressed up and take 'family pictures' together after breakfast. If that made her happy – I was all for it.
I had to be at the airport by one. My plane was scheduled to leave a little after two, and I was anxious to leave. I had my backpack slung across one shoulder and my suitcase and a bag filled with Christmas gifts in the other.
"We'll see you in a couple weeks, sweetie. Love you."
"Love you too, Mom."
I settled down in my seat for the three hour flight, pulling out my book and curling up with the sweatshirt Edward had given me. I had nearly finished my book when I realized the flight attendant was asking everyone to stow their personal belongings and return their seats to the upright position. When I deplaned, it was all I could do not to go running down the jet way.
I was met by three of my favorite people with huge smiles on their faces.
"Merry Christmas, Bella!" Carlisle and Esme chimed happily.
"Merry Christmas, Boo." Edward whispered in my ear.
"Merry Christmas." I smiled. "I'm glad to be home."
"Six more months and it'll be permanent." Edward grinned.
"You don't know how good that sounds."
He really didn't.
I enjoyed every moment I had with my Dad and the Cullen's that year. I had no idea how much I'd come to cherish the happy times in the coming months.
A/N: I just want to throw this out there as a pre-warning – the next chapter contains some pretty heavy stuff. There is a scene of abuse and it may be a little graphic for more sensitive readers. If such situations may be a trigger for you, I suggest not reading it. It wasn't easy to write and surely it's not easy to read. If you need to skip the chapter, feel free to PM me and I'll be more than happy to gloss over it for you and I hope that you'll pick up with the next chapter. This is where the story gets a little bumpy, folks. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, and that is so true in Bella's case. Hang in there … y'all know I live for a HEA. =)
Thoughts?