All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.

No copyright infringement is intended.

HUGE thanks to darcysmom, twimom817 and EdwardsMyObsession1971 for all their help and support.

Never Let Go

Chapter Eighteen

I invited Edward to come over. Edward was coming here. What the hell was I thinking? The only excuse I could come up with was that I wasn't thinking. I allowed my heart to overrule my mind and now Edward was on his way over.

I watched the clock after I hung up, making sure that Edward heeded the timeframe I'd given him. When ten minutes had gone by and my Dad hadn't gotten home yet, I thought about calling Edward to tell him we'd try another time, but I found myself really wanting to see him. Not only that, but it would disappoint him, and he sounded so happy when I asked if he'd come over. I couldn't bear to hear the sadness in his voice if I called and told him never mind.

I paced back and forth in front of the window in my room that overlooked the front yard. I kept hoping that Dad would pull up any minute and then I could breathe a little easier, but he never appeared. Edward did on the other hand. I watched as a black Ford Mustang pulled up in front of the house and a familiar mess of coppery brown hair came into view.

Edward was more handsome than I remembered. I had only seen him from far away at the baseball game I went to and he had a hat on covering his hair. I hadn't realized how tall he'd gotten – his shoulders were broader, and he was looking less like the lanky kid I grew up with. I was caught up in the fact that he was actually in my front yard when I realized that he was walking up the front sidewalk.

I panicked for a moment before I flung open my window and hollered down to him.

"Edward!"

He looked up at me – my favorite smile crossing his handsome face.

"Hey, Boo." He said softly.

"My Dad's not home yet. He was supposed to be here … I … I don't know what happened."

"Relax, Bella. I'll hang out down here until he gets home."

I felt bad asking him to wait, and I'm sure he was more than curious to know why I needed Dad there. Then I realized … I didn't need him here. It was Edward. Even if I panicked, he'd help me. He would stay with me and call for help if I needed it, but he'd never leave me to suffer alone.

I unlocked my door and made my way down the stairs listening for any other sounds in the house. I carefully went to the front door and unlocked the deadbolt and then the regular lock. I opened the door to see Edward sitting on the front step – his eyes trained on the street in front of us.

"Edward?" I asked quietly.

He turned and smiled his lazy smile.

"Hey."

"So …" I said, fidgeting with the door handle. "I'm kinda pushing my luck here. I should probably wait for Dad, but I talked to him before you called and he should have been here by now. I hate to think you came over for nothing."

"Bella …" Edward said, standing up from his perch on the step. "Don't push yourself if it makes you uncomfortable."

"That's just it … I'm not. I mean, I'm still a little scared, but I don't feel anxious like I thought I would."

"That's a good thing, right?"

I nodded.

"How is this going to work?" Edward asked.

"Umm … I'm not sure. Can we stay where we are for now … and talk?"

"Yeah …." Edward sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Whatever you need, Boo."

I slid down the wall beside the door and watched as Edward did the same on the other side. I took a deep breath and the apologies tumbled from my mouth – for shutting him out, not allowing him to help me and for not being there when he needed me the most.

"I'm so sorry about Rocket, Edward. I loved him too. I cried when I read your letter and I felt like such a cowardly shit when I couldn't even bring myself to write you back let alone call you and tell you how I felt. There's so much for me to be sorry for …."

"Bella … no, stop. You don't have to apologize. I won't lie and say I haven't been hurting, but you've been hurting too. I don't know what happened to you, Boo, but I hope you trust me enough to tell me one day."

"I don't deserve you, Edward. If I were you, I'd hate me. I've been a terrible friend."

"I talked to Charlie – from what he said, you were barely functioning, Bella. I can't blame you for anything if that was the case. My question is … why now?"

"I don't want to hurt you anymore," I sniffed, my voice no more than a whisper.

I pushed myself to my feet and stood in front of the door. I pushed on the lever to open the storm door and watched Edward as he carefully stood and walked toward me. I began to back up as he held open the door and stepped over the threshold. Once the door closed, my body was in motion as I jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck. I sobbed as I clung to him – so thankful that I didn't flinch away from him. Edward's arms were warm and comforting as they wrapped around me.

EPOV

I pulled up in front of Bella's house with a couple of minutes to spare. I didn't see how a couple of minutes could make a difference, but when I pulled up and didn't see Charlie's truck in the driveway, I began to worry. I know Bella was concerned about Charlie needing to be there when I got there and I hoped that she didn't change her mind.

I heard her call for me out of her window and I couldn't help but smile up at her. She looked different – worn … tired maybe. Her beautiful chestnut hair hung over her shoulder but I noticed she had bangs now – something she'd never had before because she hated them.

I greeted her in return, using her nickname in hopes it would settle any anxiety on her part. It didn't seem to do any good because she was mildly upset that Charlie wasn't home yet. I was sure he just got hung up at the Mill. He was the boss, surely someone needed something from him in the office as he walked out, or maybe he stopped to pick something up for dinner. He kept saying he was going to get a cell phone so that Bella could get in touch with him if she needed to, but he apparently hadn't managed to get one yet.

I told Bella I'd be happy to sit on the front steps and wait for Charlie to get home, and I was. I sat down on the top step and looked out toward the street. I thought about all the times I'd sat on that step before … when Bella and I were little – in the summer time, Renee would send us outside to eat our popsicles or pomegranates because she didn't want us to drip and stain the furniture. We'd sit and count all the lady bugs we'd caught in jars because they were the only kind of bug that Bella would touch besides earthworms. I hadn't realized that Bella was standing on the other side of the storm door watching me until she softly said my name.

I smiled softly at her, not knowing exactly how to approach her. My Dad had warned me again that she was a bit skittish before I went flying out of the driveway and to be calm with her. She told me that she hated to make me wait and that she was pushing her luck, but she seemed to be doing okay. I let her know that I didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

Bella told me she wasn't as uncomfortable or anxious as she thought she'd be, but she was still feeling a bit scared, and that sent a pang of hurt through my chest. We slid down on opposite sides of the door and talked quietly for a while. Bella apologized for shutting me out of her life and for not being there when I needed her. Her apology was everything I didn't know I needed to hear, but none the less, I didn't want her to feel the need to apologize. The moment I realized it was Bella on the phone, I knew how sorry she was – it was in her voice. I asked her the one thing I wanted to know … why now? Why did she wait all that time? Surely if she hadn't, she could have saved us both a great deal of heartache. Bella was quiet after I asked the question and I wasn't aware she had moved until I heard the creak of the door. She slowly opened the storm door and I stood and walked toward her. She backed up as I slowly approached her and crossed the threshold. The sound of the door closing behind me and Bella's gasping breaths were the only things you could hear. As soon as the door clicked, Bella rushed toward me. I caught her in my arms and managed to keep us from tumbling backwards. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held on as tightly as she could. I tightened my hold on her minutely not wanting to hurt her. She was so warm and soft in my arms, and I was so overwhelmed by her embrace that I failed to hear her sobbing.

"Shh … Bella, it's okay."

She continued to sob, her breath hot on my neck. I guess I really hadn't realized how much taller I'd gotten over the past year, because I towered over Bella now. She was every bit as tiny as I remembered. I used to give her a hard time because she was only 5'2" and she'd come back with 'hey, I'm 5'2 and a half!' I only teased her because it got her riled up and to see that spark of fire in her eyes only made her more beautiful. I set her down on her feet and moved my arms to peel hers from around my neck.

"Let me look at you, Bella." I softly pleaded.

Her eyes were cast downward but our pinky fingers were still intertwined as my eyes fell upon her petite form. Bella had changed a lot since the last time I saw her. I remembered a few years back when she came to visit and I noticed that she had more curves than I recalled – but now they were more pronounced than ever. Fuller breasts trailed down to a slender waist; slightly flared hips topped off her shapely legs. Bella's hair was much longer – before it had come down to the middle of her back and now it reached her waist.

She wore a t-shirt over black leggings that were tucked into two pair of socks that matched the colors in her shirt. She looked comfortable and the epitome of my Bella.

I released her pinky with my right hand and lifted her chin with my finger so her eyes met mine. I pushed her bangs out of her eyes, my own falling upon a fading pink scar on her forehead. When I looked into her eyes, I found the same melted chocolate depths that I loved and missed so much. Tears filled hers and threatened to spill over.

"Are you two just going to stand in the doorway and look at each other or can I come in?" Charlie asked.

We hadn't even heard him coming up the front steps.

"Sorry, Daddy. I asked Edward over hoping that you were going to get home before he got here and then you didn't and I felt bad asking him to wait …."

"Bella … baby girl, it's okay. I'm not upset that Edward's here. I'm happy to see him here actually."

Charlie turned and smiled at me as if to say this was a really big fucking deal.

Bella reached out and squeezed my free hand.

"I'm really glad that he's here, Daddy."

"I know, baby girl. I think you both have some catching up to do?"

I nodded.

"I'll go on upstairs and watch some TV after I order some dinner. I meant to stop by the store, but since I was already running late I figured we'd order in."

"'Kay."

Bella turned to me.

"Do you want a soda or water or something?"

"Water would be good." I nodded.

I followed Bella into the kitchen and watched her move around with grace. All the ballet lessons she'd taken in Phoenix had greatly improved her balance. She poured us both glasses of water and handed mine to me before leading me into the living room.

Bella curled up in the corner of the couch, nearly twisting her form into a little pretzel. I sat on the other end of the couch, wanting to be close to her but allowing her space.

"You're so far away," She said in a small voice.

"I didn't want to crowd you," I replied honestly. "I can scoot over if you like."

Bella nodded and smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. I moved closer to her and took another moment to look into her eyes and was met with pain and longing. She untwisted herself and leaned into me; wrapping her arms around mine and finally taking my hand in hers and joining our fingers together.

"I've missed you so much, Edward."

I leaned over and kissed the top of her head – inhaling her sweet smell.

"I've missed you too, Boo."

She was silent for a few long minutes before she heaved a great sigh of relief.

"Are you still scared?" I whispered.

"No," She whispered back. "I should have known there wasn't anything to be afraid of."

"What were you afraid of?"

Bella looked up at me for a brief moment before burying her face in my arm.

"Not being able to stand your touch."

"Why would you be afraid of that?"

"Edward … I have so much to tell you but I won't be able to tell you all of it – not in one sitting anyway."

"I understand, Bella. You can tell me as much or as little as you want whenever you're ready okay? I was just curious as to why you were scared, that's all."

"I know, and I know that you need an answer but you've got to understand that it's not easy for me."

I cupped her face with my free hand and placed a light kiss on her forehead. She rested her head on my arm again and I leaned my head on hers. We sat like that for a long time, and the longer we sat the more relaxed she became. Thankfully it was a Saturday night and my parents weren't really expecting me back at a certain time. They knew where I was and they could always call Charlie.

BPOV

I shouldn't have been so surprised by how easy things were with Edward. There has rarely been any awkwardness between us since we were kids. Sure there were things that I was hesitant to tell him about because he's a guy but that's normal, right?

As soon as I jumped into his waiting arms, almost everything in my world was right again. His embrace brought me warmth, comfort, protection, and love. He gave me unconditional love, and I couldn't have been more thankful for it.

We sat on the sofa for the longest time – just sitting. No words were shared between us. With my arm wrapped around his and his hand in mine, I laid my head on his shoulder and felt more at peace than I'd been in months.

I flinched when the doorbell rang, signaling that our food had arrived. Dad came running down the stairs and apologized saying he should have given me fair warning. Edward took it in stride, pulling me into his lap and holding me

"Shh, Bella. It's okay." He crooned.

I buried my face in his neck and breathed in his sweet, clean scent. It was a little different than I remembered but I figured he was a handsome jock now and he needed to play the part.

"You okay, baby girl?" Dad asked as he came in with plates of food for us.

"I'm fine. I'm glad Edward was here."

I pushed myself off of Edward's lap and back to my corner. I watched Edward's face as it fell slightly from the loss of contact. Dad sat down in his recliner and tossed me the remote. I found a movie that Edward and I loved, and we dug into our food.

After dinner, Dad retreated back to his room once again leaving Edward and me alone in the living room.

"So … it's a Saturday night and you were just sitting at home?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"No Jazz or Emmett?"

"Nah … I'm gonna hang out with them a bit tomorrow before Em heads back to Seattle. He's home for the weekend."

"You and Jazz are usually inseparable on the weekends … what happened?"

"Umm … tonight's … tonightstheprom." Edward said in a rush.

"Prom? Why didn't you go?" I asked, picking at the hem of my t-shirt.

"Because I'm sitting next to the only girl I'd want to take."

"Oh, Edward," I said, my lip quivering and tears trailing down my cheeks. "Do you … do you still want to try? Even after all this time?"

"Bella … there's nothing I want more than you."

More tears fell at his sweet words. How could he still want me after I pretty much ignored him for almost a year? How could he still want me after ….

I knew I wasn't damaged goods in the sexual sense, but I was coming to terms with how I could ever want a man to touch me after he touched me in such an intimate way. For the first few months after I came back to Forks, I would dream at night that his hands were on me again – grabbing, and kneading my breasts with such force – hurting me. I had bruises that lasted a couple weeks and I was ashamed the night that Esme helped me into the shower and she saw them.

Edward must have known that I was retreating into myself. He gently lifted my chin with his finger.

"Hey … Bella, I don't know what happened other than the few things Charlie has told me. I want you to know there is nothing … nothing that could make me look at you any differently, or feel any differently about you. Got it? I'm here to listen when you're ready, and until then, I'll be whatever you need me to be. Pillow, tissue, sounding board, punching bag … whatever."

I wrapped my arms around his neck again and he pulled me back to his lap, holding me close. I felt his lips on my temple and my shoulder while his hand drew comforting circles on my back.

"Bella?" He asked, his voice muffled because of my hair.

"Hmm?"

"I want you to do one thing for me?"

I looked at him, my eyes wide and expectant.

"Will you dance with me? After all, it is Prom night."

"But we're not …." I argued before he cut me off.

"We don't have to be. The fact that we're together is all I care about."

He stood up holding me against him and set me gently on my feet before leading me to the other side of the coffee table where there was more space. Not wanting any space between us, I wrapped my arms around his neck again while he gently laid his hands on my hips. He began to hum and together we swayed in the dim light of my living room.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I want you too," I whispered.

He moved to look at me, our eyes meeting in the soft glow of the hall lamp.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me." Edward smiled.

"This thing with us … it has to be on my terms."

"I know, Boo, and I'm okay with that. But I have one more thing to ask?"

I could feel my body tensing up in fear of his request.

"I want you to come over to my house, to see my mom and dad. They miss you too, and it would do you good to get out of the house."

"But I'm safe here," I whispered.

"Bella … as long as I'm with you, you'll always be safe. My mom and dad would never let anything happen to you. You know that right?"

I nodded.

"Please?" He begged.

"I'll think about it, okay?"

"Okay."

Edward left shortly before eleven p.m. that night. I missed him as soon as the door closed behind him.

Dad came downstairs to walk Edward out because it wasn't something I was ready to do yet. It was hard enough when I had to go out of the house for my therapy sessions.

Edward asked me if I'd go over to his house, and as much as I wanted to, I wasn't sure if I could do it. But, I'd think about it and maybe I'd try … for Edward. Every day, I was starting to feel a little stronger – that I could face life outside of my room again. As long as I had people in my life to cushion my fall, I was starting to believe I'd be okay.

Going to Edward's game and calling him was just the beginning of me taking my life back, and I believed with all my heart that Edward and Dad would support me.

That night, I dreamt of warm, comforting arms, deep green eyes and a rich, velvety voice. My favorite voice.

Early Sunday morning, I woke with a start and immediately reached over to pick up my phone.

"Hello?" Edward asked groggily.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey, Boo. Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes, drowning myself in the tenor of his voice.

"Bella? Are. You. Okay?" Edward asked again.

"Yeah. I woke up and I wanted to hear your voice – that's all."

I could hear him breathe a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry I woke you, Edward."

"Don't be. I'm glad you called actually. Thank you for asking me over and trusting me last night."

"Edward …."

"What?"

"You don't have to thank me."

"Yes I do. I missed you, Bella. I still miss you." He whispered the last four words so softly I almost didn't hear them.

"I miss you too. As soon as you walked out the door last night, I … I felt so sad."

"Me too, Boo. Can I come over again before I head to Emmett's?"

"Yeah." I grinned. "I'll make you breakfast."

Edward pulled into my driveway an hour later. Dad laughed when I came downstairs after my shower and told him that Edward was coming over again.

"And so it begins." Dad smiled.

"So what begins?" I asked.

"Bella, it was only a matter of time before you let Edward back into your life and now that you have – he'll be here more often than not."

"He asked me to go to his house to see Carlisle and Esme."

"I know. He told me last night when I walked him out to his car."

"What else did you two talk about?"

"You."

I rolled my eyes.

"Duh, Dad. That was a given. What did you talk about specifically?"

"Specifically? That last night was huge for you. You were relaxed around him – which didn't surprise me, but it surprised you. That boy is good for you, baby girl. As much as I'm not ready for you to start dating, you're sixteen, and it'll happen eventually –I can't think of a nicer boy for you to date than Edward."

"Umm … thanks, Dad. I'm glad you approve of Edward, but you know that I'm not ready for that right? I'm not sure I'm ready to leave the comfort of the house yet."

"Bella … you're going back to school in September whether you like it or not. You're young … you need to be out there living your life not looking over your shoulder. I know you want someone there … let Edward be that someone. Trust him – he'll take care of you."

"I don't want to be dependent on him, Dad. I miss being independent. I miss volleyball and choir and dance. I miss being me. I'm just so scared that if I tried having a normal life it would all come crashing down again. I live in fear every time I leave the house that when we come back someone will be here … and I … I can't." I sobbed.

Dad wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

"Shh … Bella. I wouldn't let that happen, baby girl. I'll have a security system installed if it would make you feel better. I'm not saying that you should depend on Edward … I'm just telling you to trust him. Go out with him and have fun. Trust in him that he'd never let anything happen to you. You know how protective he can be."

I nodded.

Dad wiped away my tears, and we stood in an embrace for a few more minutes as he made sure I was okay. I told him I liked the idea of a security system. It might make me feel better when I went back to school.

I could hear a door slam outside and I asked Dad to see if Edward had arrived while I pulled out the ingredients for chocolate chip pancakes.

"Hey, Boo." Edward grinned as he walked into our small kitchen.

"Hey."

Edward sat down at the table while I whipped up some batter and got the bacon frying in a skillet.

"Would you mind getting the juice out of the fridge?" I asked.

Edward nodded and moved to get the juice and glasses from the cupboard.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

I turned to meet his eyes and he looked worried.

"What is it, Edward?" I asked, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently.

"I … umm … I wanted to know if you'd come over to Emmett's with me. I won't be there long because he's heading back to Seattle today, but I told him I saw you last night and he wants to see you too. The guys miss you too, ya know."

"Oh … uhh, I don't know if that's a good idea, Edward. I did so well last night, I'd hate to push my luck."

"I'll be right there with you, Boo, I promise."

Dad chose that moment to walk into the kitchen.

"I think it would be good for you to get out, Bella."

I felt like they were ganging up on me and trying to get me out of the house.

I turned to Edward as I set the pancakes on the table.

"Do you promise that we'll leave if I feel uncomfortable?"

"Absolutely."

"All right." I agreed.

After breakfast, Dad was eager for me to get out of the house. So much so that he offered to clean up all the breakfast dishes.

"Go on, baby girl. You two have fun." Dad encouraged.

"Are you staying home today?" I asked.

"I don't know. Carlisle and I talked about going out fishing for a couple of hours. Would you be okay with that?"

"What if I need you?"

"Relax, Bella. You'll be with Edward. If you need something and I'm not home, just go to Carlisle and Esme's, okay?"

Edward waited for me in the living room while I went upstairs and changed out of my sweats into some jeans. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair out of the ponytail I'd had it up in. I quickly used the blow dryer to tame my bangs and made my way back downstairs.

"Do I look okay?" I asked Edward nervously.

"You look perfect." Edward smiled.

"Let's get this over with."

"You sound like I'm leading you to your death, Bella."

I glared at him and he chuckled as he held open the front door for me. I hollered bye to Dad and carefully walked out into the morning air.

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. One of my betas has been sick and last week was crazy busy for me. Every once in a while, I get a bad case of Helium Hand and volunteer to do stuff that puts me in a time crunch. One of these days my arm will figure out how to stay put!

Anywhoo … So Bella and Edward's reunion … was it all you wanted it to be? I think it went much better than it could have gone. I'll post another chapter in a bit so you can see what happens when Edward takes Bella to Emmett's. Just keep in mind that everything can't always be sunshine and daisies. =(

Thoughts?