Chapter eleven – Seen
Allen fixed his face into a mask of casual indifference, ignoring his racing heart as he set the bag of coffee on Kanda's desk. He gave a carefree shrug.
"Maybe the room's previous occupants left it there?" He suggested nonchalantly as he set his own bag by the door.
"They didn't." Kanda said this with such finality that Allen had to accept that that excuse had fallen through. Quick thinking under pressure proved to be difficult and Allen simply settled for playing dumb.
"Well, then I have no clue." He said flatly, making to walk past Kanda. Almost instantly a hand shot and grasped hold of his wrist, yanking him back.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Allen cried, trying to rip his hand free of Kanda's iron grip without any real success. Heated grey eyes met defiant silver as the pair communicated silently without need for speech.
Let me go.
Not until you tell me the truth.
The atmosphere in the room steadily grew heavy with the weight of many unsaid words. As the time ticked slowly by the fire in Kanda's eyes seemed to feed on it as opposed to growing dim. Allen himself found that for each second that passed him by his heart beat grew fast and loud, painfully loud. He was sure that any moment Kanda would be able to hear his heart pounding out its guilt driven melody
Gritting his teeth Allen finally managed to rip his hard free and glowered up at his roommate.
"Are these yours?" Kanda asked again, his tone somewhere in between forced calm and vaguely pissed.
"They're mine. Happy?" Allen spat the words out like they were venom and Kanda did not look at all surprised by his declaration.
"Not yet." He said shortly. "What are they for?"
"It's none of your business!" Allen snapped irritably, flexing his fingers violently.
"Yes it is!"
"Why?"
"Because I care about you, you fucking Moyashi!"
Allen was literally stunned speechless by this sudden revelation. Kanda's eyes blinked as if he too was caught off guard by the surprising confession of having a heart but after a moment he simply narrowed his eyes as if daring Allen to challenge him.
"… For sleeping."
"Eh?" Kanda blinked and looked down at Allen. The sprouts gaze flicked up to him and then away again.
"Those pills are meant to stop the nightmares I get."
Kanda frowned. It seemed to him that Allen put a bit too much emphasis on those pills, but he doubted pushing the topic would result in fruition.
"There's a lot in here…"
"Well… As I said, they're meant to help, but it seems they haven't been doing it very well and I dislike taking medication and stuff unless it's absolutely necessary." Allen extended his hand and after a brief moment of consideration Kanda relinquished the pills to their owner.
Allen turned his back on Kanda and deposited them into his desk drawer as his rapidly bearing heart worked to steady itself. All though the conversation had ended with an expected result it had still been a narrow escape on Allen's part.
The room was filled with awkward silence and Allen watched Kanda he felt unsure of how to proceed with the evening. It was Kanda who settled it.
Moving swiftly he snagged the keys for his training building off of the desk and strode towards the desk. Allen stayed where he was and was surprised when Kanda turned around to glare at him with annoyance.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" He asked.
"… Eh… What am I…? What am I waiting for?" He asked, confused.
Kanda smirked; seemingly back to his old self. "Do you expect me to spar alone?"
OoO_OoO_OoO
Despite popular belief, physical education was not Kanda's favourite subject. In fact it was somewhere around the top of the subjects he despised and it was for the simple reason that he was the best in the entire class at it. Where was the challenge? Where was the thrill? Being at the top of the class didn't prove to be as interesting as he would have liked – there was no competition.
Sure, the rabbit sometimes focused adequately to put in enough effort, enough so that it wasn't as easy as it normally was for Kanda to win. Alright, perhaps that wasn't giving Lavi enough credit. When the redhead was being serious he was quite the competition, but it wasn't the same.
This is why Kanda could be found sulking in the corner of the gym wearing a loose white shirt and tracksuit pants. He refused to wear those horrible shorts.
"Moyashi-chan's in out PE class ~." Lavi crooned happily as he watched the giggling students of their class shoot furtive glances at the stone cold Kanda.
"I know." Was the grumpy reply from the isolated teen. "You've said so six times already."
"What's taking him so long?" Lavi whined, thoroughly ignoring Kanda's irritable tone. "Everyone else is out of the change rooms now. What's he doing?"
As if speaking of his lateness was the magical summoning charm an easily distinguishable white haired figured approached them and Lavi's eyebrows shot up his brow.
"You're playing in long sleeves and gloves?" He asked in disbelief. Allen was indeed clad in long sleeve shirt with his usual gloves on his hands. He gave a sheepish smile.
"You're not going to be able to play basketball like that." Kanda scoffed.
"I can too." He countered. Kanda snorted.
"Whatever, even if that's true we have swimming second half and you can't swim in those gloves."
Allen twitched and paled considerably. "S-swimming?"
Lavi slapped him in the back. "Don't you listen Moyashi? Cause' of the warmer weather we get out swimming lessons!"
Allen looked very much like he wished to object to this but the shrill blow of a whistle captured their attention and the quarrelling group reluctantly drifted back over to the main crowd.
The class was dispersed into groups and – as if it had been planned before hand – Allen and Kanda were put on separate teams and given competing positions.
Kanda snorted as he shrugged on his sport bib. "Try not to get it my way Moyashi; it's for your own good."
Allen's face turned a bright red. "I-in your way? I was going to say the same thing!"
"Che. You're no threat to me."
The game started then with the shriek of the whistle and the ball was immediately shot through Allen's outstretched defending arms into Kanda's hands.
"Che." Kanda shot Allen a smirk as he rocketed off down the court, dribbling fantastically.
It was only when he raised his hands to shoot that a fast moving blur of white stole it from him and tossed it to a bemused girl with brown hair.
Allen shot the startled Kanda a victorious grin and stuck his tongue out.
Kanda's aura of rage almost became a tangible thing.
"You're so dead Moyashi…"
oOo_oOo_oOo
Lenalee was indefinitely glad that the school gym had a back entrance. It made situations like this when it was her turn on roll duty and she had to gather attendance numbers a lot easier.
She easily slipped in and walked calmly over to the raised stage portion on the left wall and was surprised to see Lavi sitting there. She looked around briefly just to make sure she wasn't mistaking her redheaded friend for somebody else before approaching.
"Lavi?"
"… Lenalee?" Lavi broke eye contact with the court and looked up at the Chinese girls face.
"What on earth are you doing sitting out?" She asked, smoothing her skirt beneath her as she sat down beside him. He gave her a wry grin and nodded to the rest of the stage. A quick glance behind her made Lenalee gasp. She had been sure that there were the sounds of relentless basketball when she came in but nearly all the students were sprawled out all over the place, exhausted.
It took her a mind a second to figure out was going on before she looked at the court.
Allen and Kanda were sprinting back and forth – two twin blurs moving around an orange blob that would no sooner be up one end of the arena and then up the next.
She watched as Allen ducked swiftly under Kanda's arms and grabbed the basketball, barely dodging a student who was sprawled half dead on the floor. Kanda stole it a moment later.
It appeared the two were so intent on their game that reality had long since ceased to hold any meaning to them. They were wrapped up in their own little bubble where there was just them, the basketball and the raging desire not to come out the loser.
"It's been like this for about twenty minutes." Lavi said resignedly.
"Twenty minutes?" Lenalee asked in disbelief. Both boys were slick with sweat and breathing heavily but their pace showed no sign of slowing.
"They became completely absorbed. They wouldn't pass the ball, they wouldn't even register somebody else was there." Lavi grinned and leaned backwards. "Works for me. It's much more fun to watch."
"I've never seen Kanda so into anything." Lenalee observed. Lavi shot her a dry grin.
"I'm sure we won't cease to be amazed anytime soon."
As Lenalee watched her friends rocket around she could only agree with a slight, silent smile that this was indeed true.
oOo_oOo_oOo
"Are you okay Allen?"
Allen moaned from where he lay sprawled on the floor with a water bottle held loosely in his hand. His legs felt like jelly and his arms were shaking from the effort of holding the water bottle. But all of this wasn't what grated on his nerves the most. It was the fact that after such a hard fought battle; Kanda had still won by two baskets. He believed his smaller limbs and weaker constitution were to blame but it seemed unsportmans like to blame his loss on that; that and the fact he would practically be admitting to Kanda's teasing nickname.
"Naww, cheer up Moyashi. We have swimming now." Lavi tried as an encouragement. Rather than brighten Allen's face paled a few more notches as Lavi hauled him to his feet.
Black order academy pool was housed in a white tiled echoey building with attached changing rooms. Looking at the large campus buildings anyone would assume it was a large prestigious school when it was actually just good at extorting money from the government.
"Where's Allen?" Lavi asked Kanda as he did some warm up stretches, feeling a slight sense of déjà vu. Kanda shrugged. In addition to his swimming trunks he was wearing a loose shirt in what some may consider modesty ( It was really because he got annoyed when people gawked at his extravagant tattoo. )
With lack of anything better to do Kanda looked around the room – Not for Allen, no. Not that – and spotted the Moyashi talking with the swimming teacher. Kanda wants it put on record that just because he found Allen does not mean he was looking for him.
"He's over there talking to the PE teacher." Kanda muttered to Lavi. Lavi frowned.
"Jesus Christ, do you have built in sprout detectors?"
Kanda chose to ignore this remark and instead joined the students flocking to the water.
oOo_OoO_oOo
"Walker!"
Allen broke away from his musings to see the PE teacher swiftly approaching him. Allen mentally prepared himself for the why aren't you changed yet? And was pleasantly surprised when rather than a scolding he said "Komui has informed me of your special circumstances. Feel free to sit out and watch."
Allen was stunned speechless by his good fortune. "Seriously?" He choked out.
"Sure."
Before they could continue talking a loud splash singled that the students had grown tired of waiting and had entered the water. The coach turned and hightailed it away, shouting orders to the youths as he did so.
Allen looked up and briefly scanned the crowd – not looking for Kanda, may it be told – and after a quick search found his sword happy, bipolar samurai.
He was startled when he saw Kanda eyes fixed firmly on him and for no comprehensible reason felt a light blush taint his pale cheeks.
Almost as soon as the eye contact had been made it was broken as Kanda looked away and joined the crowds flooding to the pool.
Not sure what he should be doing, Allen sat down on the edge of the pool and watched as the students swam past him, only sparing him a curiosity glance. A familiar red head of hair bobbed past and then without warning Allen found himself showered in little droplets of water as Lavi burst out of the water, grinning at him.
Allen had to smile. Even while swimming Lavi's customary eye patch remained in place.
"Why are you sitting out there for? C'mon in! The water's fine!"
Allen smiled and gave a little wave. "I think I'll pass. I'm a horrible swimmer."
Lavi gave him a speculating look. "After that epic basketball you can't expect me to believe that."
Allen laughed lightly. "Everyone has something they suck at it."
Lavi snorted. "You owe me. And I know exactly how you can repay me."
"Oi! Lavi! Get a move on!" The coach called from the sidelines it Lavi poked his tongue out in annoyance. "Talk after." He said to Allen before ducking back into the water.
The lesson passed with little eventfulness – save Kanda almost drowning Lavi – and free swim period saw Lavi emerge shaking like a dog out of the water, a reluctant Kanda trailing after him.
Allen watched them vanish into the change rooms and after deciding poolside was no longer safe got up and waited patiently outside the room for them.
They emerged a moment later, Kanda's stringy black hair surprisingly not leaving a damn spot on his uniform. He had his hair well trained.
The other students were just emerging from the pool, towelling themselves dry and laughing as they approached the change rooms. The trio quickly ducked out of the crowds.
"Alrighty Allen-chan! This is the deal."
"Eh?" Allen looked suspiciously up at Lavi's beaming face as if he didn't quite trust him. – Which in Allen's case was rather wise.
Lavi causally swung an arm around Allen's shoulders. "As soon as this session is over school will be out for the weekend, correct?"
Allen nodded, not sure where this was going.
"So! I propose that tonight me, Lenalee and Yu-chan show you around! You haven't had proper look around the city yet right?" Lavi leaned right in close and then abruptly let go of Allen, causing him to stumble on the wet tiles.
"It's settled!" Lavi proclaimed loudly in a way that showed arguing with him would be a waste of the precious little time Allen had left.
oOo_oOo_oOo
Allen had to admit, his escorts did know the town very well. And even Kanda seemed to be in a half decent mood which meant that rather then spend their Friday night arguing with each other they spent it rather enjoyable.
"We should show Moyashi the club." Lenalee suggested as the dusk sky finally turned dark enough that sitting in the park – however beautiful and breathtaking the place may be – was tiresome.
Allen found himself in loath to leave the tranquillity of the soft grass on which they were sitting it. He had never had much of a chance to see parks, and he couldn't ever remember seeing one with as many types of foliage and trees as this one. But even he had to admit the threatening rainclouds above did worry him slightly.
So instead he stood up with the group, brushing light dew from the seat of his jeans and inquired, "Club?"
"Mmh. It's our favourite place to go out of the surrounding clubs and stuff. It's rarely busy. We haven't been there in ages." Lavi yawned, rolling his shoulders as he said this.
The club was a short walk from the park and Allen felt his mouth twitched when they passed a certain pole he remembered had got quite friendly with Kanda's face last time they were out.
Judging by the glare on Kanda's face as he edged around it he remembered it to. Allen could have sworn he heard the raven haired samurai mutter, "I'm watching you…" As he passed it by.
The club proved to be an older building than it's surrounding friends and Allen could immediately see why it was 'rarely busy' as Lavi put it.
Sort of nervous now, Allen pushed the door open and was surprised by the pleasant air inside. There was lots of table scattered about and music with a nice light beat playing over the speakers. If it hadn't had a small part set aside for dancing he may have considered it a relaxed easy going kind of restaurant.
They were greeted by a beautiful woman with dark brown hair mostly held at bay by a golden hair clasp.
"Hey Anita!" Lavi greeted cheerfully and stepped forward eagerly.
The woman's answering smile was patient and friendly. "You haven't been in a while. Is this your new friend?"
Allen felt caught in the spotlights with the attention on him and he never thought he would ever be grateful for Lavi's womanizing tendencies but he was proven wrong. "Never mind him, he's just a sprout." Lavi said disdainfully. "He didn't even want to come, but I couldn't stay away from – ouch, ouch, ouch!"
Lenalee looked particularly irritated as she dragged Lavi away by his ear to a table. Anita laughed lightly and excused herself to the back.
"So, what do you think?" Lenalee asked when Kanda and Allen joined her at the table. Allen's smile was answer enough and the other three ducked off to get some drinks while Allen guarded their table.
He was just starting to wonder where they were when a hand tapped lightly on his shoulder. He grinned and looked up but his smile rapidly faded at the face that greeted him.
"Oh… It's you. Julian, right?"
Julian grinned in response, flanked on either side by friends who regarded Allen with an interested expression.
"Allen, right? The Black Order academy transfer."
The last part was a statement rather than a question and his pals chuckled lightly at this.
Allen himself was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the situation, shooting a look around in search of his friends. His uneasiness skyrocketed when Julian laid a hand on his arm and tugged him to his feet.
"Why don't you come hang with us for a while?" He suggested with false brightness.
"I'd rather not. Stranger danger and all that…"
Allen's protests fell on deaf ears as he was bundled roughly out the clubs back door by the bathrooms. Why is no one noticing this? Allen wondered but the answer was clear. The club was too laid back. Everyone was simply too absorbed in their good times to realize something wrong, could and was happening.
As the back door slammed shut Allen realized they were in the trash alley and he could only groan.
"How cliché can you get?" he shot nastily at Julian who turned a strange shade of red. Allen didn't consider it a victory though; instead he rather regretted that the words left his mouth.
The larger of Julian's friends twisted Allen's arms painfully behind his back and grabbed a fistful of his snowy white hair, jerking his head back and exposing his neck.
Julian smiled as his other friend went to help hold Allen's hands behind his back and after a moment of fishing in his pocket withdrew a pocketknife.
"How about we cut off that old man white hair you have? It's darn right insulting. We'd be doing you a favour." Julian sniggered and brang the blade up close to Allen's head, prodding a sweat drop dripping down his brow with the tip.
This isn't going well… Allen thought numbly. His head had started pounding from the stress of the situation and he supposed he should be more fazed by the sharp pointy metal aimed at him, but after such a long time living in constant fear it seemed draining to summon up fright for something so mediocre.
"Or better yet, your face is offensive to the bare rule of symmetry. You said it was a scar over your eye right? Maybe we should make a matching one…"
Allen let out his pent up breath. "Can you just cut me up as much as you like and be done with it? I don't have all night."
Allen's clear lack of fear seemed to piss Julian off more than any words he had spoken. The world weary tone he had used to deliver them was what had ticked him off most.
Cheeks flushed from the embarrassment Julian swore loudly and swang the blade down sharply.
Allen saw the flash of silver and for a moment experienced a painful flashback. The arcing silver of the blade turned into the flashing metal of a sharp, bent and slightly rusted nail and it was that flashback that set a cold sense of dread in his heart.
No! Allen jerked his head to the side violently, the person holding his hair swore loudly and stumbled forwards but didn't let go and a moment later Allen's cheek was splattered in blood.
oOo_oOo_oOo
"He's not in the bathrooms!" Lavi jogged back out of the men's room to meet his two friends just outside it. Lenalee looked wrought with worry and Kanda just looked pissed but Lavi could see the stress in his eyes.
"Where did he go? He wouldn't have just wondered off!" she rubbed her hands nervously, the cool breeze getting to her.
Lavi frowned at that looked from Lenalee to the door beside her and realized with a thrill of adrenaline it was that letting the breeze into the room. Lenalee followed his gaze and let out an oh of realization, dashing out the door with soda glasses in hand.
Lavi went next and Kanda was last out, allowing the door to slam shut behind him.
A light cry of distress left Lenalee's lips and Kanda swore.
Allen Walker was pressed up against the brick wall, looking sick in the stomach seeming not to notice the light smattering of blood on his face. Kanda followed his gaze and saw the light twinkle if metal in a pool of blood. He looked up and saw the kid from the bookstore with his hands wrapped franticly around his friend's wrist – who it appeared, was the source of the bleeding.
Lenalee seemed to recognize them for a moment after the scene registered she threw the soda glasses at them.
Swearing could be heard over the shattering of glass and Julian cried loudly, "What are you doing? Can't you see Shin's injured!"
"Serves him right! What are you doing out here."
"Shit!" Julian looked up from Shin to glare at Allen who stared impassively back at him. "This is your fault!" He accused.
"You were the one with the knife." Allen pointed out. Julian opened his mouth to object but was cut off by the screech of tires and the slamming of car door as his other friend dashed back towards them, out of breath and said "I got the car!"
Shin was bundled off by his friend and Julian – covered in blood and lemonade – paused to glare menacingly at Allen. He opened his mouth and began to say "I –."
But Kanda cut over him. "Please. You're not going to say something like 'I won't forget this', or 'I'll be back,' or some other cliché bad guy thing." He snorted.
Julian went pink and pursed his lips before dashing off to the car.
The shriek of protesting wheels left them in an aroma of blood, lemons and burning rubber as the car sped away.
Allen was instantly surrounded by his friends.
"Shit! Allen are you alright! Did they hurt you?" Lavi grasped Allen's shoulders firmly and shook them as if demanding an answer.
"I'm fine." Allen said meekly.
"But there's blood on you!"
"I-It's not mine…"
"I'll call the police." Lenalee offered disgust on her face. "This is beyond is a simple pranking. This is a crime."
Allen shook his head at this, suddenly adamant. "Don't! Don't call the police!"
"Allen, who knows what they were going to –."
Kanda cut over Lavi. "Even if you did nothings going to happen. The police are as fucking sick of the shut between Northwall and Black Order as us. They never get involved."
"But Kanda –."
"Just go grab our stuff. We'll head back now."
Kanda's tone left no room for argument and still looking unsure Lavi and Lenalee drifted back inside. Silence fell between them for a moment before Kanda suggested, "You should sit down."
Allen slid silently down the wall, his legs folding in front of him. He offered Kanda a weak smile. Kanda gave an irritated sigh and looked down at the serviettes he had somehow kept a hold on and offered them to Allen.
"You should wipe the blood off."
"… I can't move right now. Gimmie a minute."
Kanda snorted at this and crouched down in front of Allen, folding the napkins in half he leant forward and dabbed at Allen's red stained skin. He was sort of glad he was doing it and not Allen. Although he wouldn't say it to the Moyashi he wanted to make sure himself the sprout wasn't wounded.
But his words proved true, Kanda couldn't find a single wound on his face so instead he just focused on wiping away the residue blood off of his flesh.
Kanda's touch was almost soothing after the stressful situation and Allen found himself thinking with chagrin that it seemed to be the only thing able to keep him calm lately.
"What happened?" Kanda had finished removing the blood but did not withdraw his hand, perhaps sensing that Allen needed the support.
"They just bundled me out. They were going to cut me up a little. I jerked forward at the last second and one of their guys stumbled in the way and they got his wrist."
Kanda snorted out this and the trance seemed to break and he quickly withdrew his hand. Allen was sorry for its lost.
"You have blood in your hair. When we get back you should go have a shower right away." He said shortly and grabbed Allen's arm to haul him unceremonially to his feet as Lavi and Lenalee emerged with their stuff.
oOo_oOo_oOo
Allen had never felt anything as good as the streams of water trailing down him now.
While he considered the attempted jumping far from a big deal it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience and the flashback half way through had done nothing for his raw nerves.
If there was one smell Allen hated in the world it was the thick, coppery scent of blood and he had never been so glad to see his hair revert to its snowy white in his life.
It was a real pity that such a good evening had to come to such a shitty end and Allen allowed his eyes to drift closed as he considered this. With a deft twist he silenced this screaming shower and was taken off guard when he instead heard the solid thunk of water on the roof.
So the rain had finally come. Frowning he stepped out of the shower and began to towel of.
oOo_oOo_oOo
Kanda wasn't about to admit he was worried. In fact he was distinctly unworried as far as he was concerned. But Allen had been in the bathroom for an awful long time and given his past behaviour Kanda would certainly not be surprised if he was passed out on the floor.
He didn't really want to interrupt him though. He knew he would certainly want a long, soothing shower if he had been jumped – okay, that was bullshit. Kanda couldn't ever recall somebody being stupid enough to jump him without a small army behind them.
Growing restless he threw the pen he was clicking for no real reason back on to the desk and pushed himself up.
Fucking Moyashi!
Giving in Kanda stormed over to the bathroom and opened the door.
"Oi, Moyashi. Are you planning on drowning yourself in –."
Kanda froze as he met the frightened gaze of Allen. His gaze ticked back down again. Allen had on a fresh pair of black pants and had a long sleeved shirt held loosely in one hand and Kanda could honestly say he had never been so startled in his life.
Suddenly the long sleeves, the gloves, the skipping of swimming and the fear of being seen shirtless made sense. It made sense so fucking perfectly it almost hurt.
Allen's torso was covered in scares. Many, many scars. It was startling how many there were. Some were nasty looking knots of flesh that looked like bad punctures and others were horrible tears in the tissue that must have required dozens of stitches to shut. The longest one stretched from just below his collarbone to his ribs and was an angry pink from the water.
But the scars weren't what caught Kanda's attention. What caught his attention was worth twice as many scars and any number of white haired teens in its strangeness.
Allen's left arm was a violent, angry red mass of uneven, bumpy flesh going all the way up to about a few inches down from the shoulder where it suddenly turned back to pale skin.
It looked like a disfigured, burnt limb that had shrivelled and gone cold and what's more, dead black fingernails still dripped water from the shower but the easily most noticeable thing was the shimmering green cross embedded into the back of his hand.
Kanda knew it was wrong. Knew it was wrong on so many levels. Knew it would make things worse later but all he could do was stare in horror.
In a flash Allen had the shirt on and a fresh pair of gloves was dug out of his pocket and he shoved past Kanda.
Kanda wanted to reach out and stop him. He truly did, but he was so stunned speechless he could only stand stock still as Allen breezed past him to the door.
If he leaves right now…
"… Moyashi."
Allen paused by the door and neither man turned to face each other. Kanda winced as he heard the sound of the door opening and he flinched as he waited for the slamming shut but instead he heard a voice so soft he wasn't sure Allen had spoken.
"Well, now you know. I promise I'll leave."
By the time Kanda worked out he hadn't misheard and span around to confront his roommate he was greeted with the slamming of the door as he was left alone with nothing but confusion and two new questions for each one that had been answered.
oOo_oOo
A/N: Wow. That was easily my longest chapter yet, but there was so much I wanted to put in it. I'm glad I remembered it all. I don't know why but it didn't seem right splitting it in later chapters.
Thankyou everyone who left encouraging messages about me being sick. I finally went to the doctors and tonsillitis with verdict -.-
I'm feeling better though now that I'm actually taking antibiotics and I'm well enough to go back to school AND UPDATE!
A lot has happened this chapter – things I've been planning since the start of the story – and I encourage you to leave a review!