All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer; I just like to play with her characters.

No copyright infringement is intended.

Thanks to my girls – they know who they are ;)

A/N: Again I apologize for the delay – RL is craaazy. This is unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

Never Let Go

Chapter Twenty-Three

Over dinner that night after my try- out, Edward's parents, my dad and I discussed the prospect of me going to volleyball camp in Seattle in a couple weeks. I wanted to go, but I was so intimidated by the fact that I'd be with a bunch of people that I didn't know very well and that could potentially put me in a very awkward position. I couldn't chance having a panic attack when everyone would be so far away.

"Bella, I think this is something you should do. I know you're worried, sweetheart, but I can go with you and be there just in case you need someone." Esme offered.

"Esme, I can't ask you to do that." I argued.

"You're not asking, I offered."

"Wouldn't you be bored all day long? I mean watching the team run drills isn't all that exciting."

"I'll find something to keep me occupied. The most important thing is that you go and have peace of mind while you're there."

Dad and Carlisle agreed with Esme wholeheartedly and I couldn't argue. If I wanted to feel like I belonged, it was something I needed to do.

Emmett stayed with me the entire first week of volleyball practice. His presence in the gym was comforting to me. I didn't ever feel the need to duck behind him and hide, nor did I feel like I needed him to hold my hand to see me through. By the end of the week, I'd even managed to work up to giving Coach a high five and agreed to meet everyone on Sunday afternoon so we could carpool to Seattle together.

I saw my therapist the day before we were to leave for camp and she was glad to see that I'd made the decision to go – even if I felt that I needed someone there with me.

"I can't say that I blame you, Bella. I think your reservations concerning camp are valid. No one can blame you in any way for wanting someone close to you, should you have a panic attack."

I nodded.

"Are you any closer to setting your goals?"

"No."

"Bella, I want you to give them some serious thought. I'd like for you to think about it over the next couple of weeks and have something ready for me next time I see you, okay?"

"I'll tell Edward when I'm ready. I can't set a goal because I don't know when that will be. Edward's not pushing me for the information so you shouldn't push me to give it to him. I will tell him but it will be on my terms not anyone else's."

Later that afternoon, I sat in my room packing my things while I wondered what Edward was doing. I know he had games on Saturday mornings and he was free during the afternoon. In a week, he'd be home. Carlisle was planning on picking him up on Saturday morning – in theory he'd be back in time for my scrimmage game that afternoon.

When the last of my clothes had been packed, I zipped up my suitcase and set it by the door. I grabbed my backpack and began to fill it up with my journal and paper to write to Edward. Just as I flopped down on my bed, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Boo."

"Edward," I breathed.

"Yeah, baby, it's me. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I've been thinking about you so it's kinda funny that you called. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Bella. Are you all ready for volleyball camp tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I just finished packing – well, everything except my toiletries. Those will have to wait until the morning."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little," I whispered.

"You're going to be fine, Bella. My mom will be there if you need her."

"I know, but it's still kind of intimidating."

We talked for a while that afternoon. He told me about his game that morning and how he spent his afternoon at the beach with Jasper and a few of the other guys throwing around a football. I giggled and teased him about being there to play baseball not football.

"It's so good to hear you giggling, baby. I've missed that sound."

"I know," I admitted in a small voice.

All too soon, we had to end our call. Charlie had come home from his afternoon of fishing and was eager to get dinner started.

"I gotta go, Edward. My dad's home."

"Okay, I love you, Bella. Have a good time at camp, okay?"

"Okay. I love you too, Edward."

The next morning, Carlisle and Esme picked me up and drove me over to the school where we piled into vans to carpool to Seattle. I settled into a seat next to Esme and listened to a few of my teammates chatter around me. I may have been the new girl, but they seemed very welcoming. I knew several of the girls on my team from elementary school but being away so long, I felt out of touch with them.

Leah Clearwater and Lauren Mallory were two of the few girls I knew that I'd sort of managed to keep in touch with since moving all those years ago. Leah took up for me at Edward's birthday party when Rosalie was being particularly bitchy and Lauren was the type of girl who was friends with everyone. The girl didn't have a judgmental bone in her body.

Leah and Lauren drew me into conversation as we drove north on the 101. We talked about music and groups we liked and some of the local grunge bands from Seattle that sometimes played in Port Angeles.

"Oh my gosh … Lillith Fair is going to be in Vancouver at the end of the month … my mom bought four tickets." Lauren grinned.

"Really?" Leah asked. "That will be an awesome concert. Hey! Bella likes Sarah McLachlan … don't you Bella?"

"Umm … yeah I do."

"She's going to be there, ya know."

"Yeah, I heard. That would be cool to go to but I don't think I could be there in the midst of all those people."

"Bella! Seriously, you should come with me. It's not like I'm using all four tickets. Leah's coming and maybe Angela if she can get the day off. You should come, it'll be fun!" Lauren exclaimed.

Esme looked at me sympathetically and squeezed my hand.

"Maybe I'll think about it."

"We could have so much fun, Bella!" Leah encouraged. "Lauren and I would be there with you so you wouldn't be alone and if something happened, we could come straight home."

That was the thing … going to the concert sounded like a lot of fun, but if something happened, I wouldn't want them to feel like they needed to leave because I couldn't handle it. That wouldn't be fair to them at all. I wished with all my heart that I could have said yes and gone with my friends to do something normal. I could only hope that one day I'd get there.

Before we knew it, we were pulling into the dorm complex at UDub. Coach had arranged it so Esme could stay in my room with me and we'd share a suite with two other girls. Thankfully, Leah and Lauren were the two we were sharing with. We were given an hour to settle in before we gathered in the gym for a briefing as to what would happen that week. We were given our schedules and everyone was given a t-shirt for participating. Esme and I headed up to our room and unpacked before we walked over to the gym.

I went over to sit on the floor with my teammates and the other schools who had also come to the camp while Esme found a spot in the bleachers. We played a couple ice breaker games before they released us for dinner.

That night we changed into our swimsuits and made our way down to the pool. It had been so long since I'd been to a pool or anywhere really that required a swim suit. I pulled a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt on over my modest swimsuit and walked down to the pool with Esme.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Esme asked.

"Yeah … it's just different for me, I guess. I haven't been anywhere close to being undressed around anyone since you helped me shower all those months ago."

"You've come a long way since then, sweetheart. No one here will hurt you honey, you know that right?"

I nodded and pulled off my t-shirt to drape it over the back of the chair I'd spread my towel out on.

I watched my teammates strip down to skimpy bikinis and jump into the pool and I fought with myself that I should be able to be like them. I squeezed my eyes shut and when I finally opened them I pulled off my shorts and jumped into the pool. Esme watched from her lounge chair with a smile on her face. Another small victory.

Our week was filled with workshops and practices. Mid-week we played a couple scrimmage games in preparation for the big games on Saturday. As I became more comfortable with the other girls at the camp, I found it easy to fall into our routine and before long, I lost myself in the game. At the end of the day, I still found it comforting to know that Esme was sitting up in the stands watching.

By Saturday morning, I was anxious for Edward to arrive. I couldn't wait to see him – and I don't know what I was looking forward to more – Edward or the game that afternoon. We'd put in a lot of blood, sweat and tears to make it into the bracket we were going to be playing in and I certainly didn't want to let my team down. I felt like I had a lot to prove being the newbie and especially because I was the only one who needed to bring along a parent.

We were out on the court doing our warm ups when I saw my dad, Carlisle, Edward and Jasper climb up into the bleachers with Esme. I smiled and waved when I caught Edward smiling down at me. His smile was the little push I needed to get me through the game.

I was shocked when I realized that Coach had me out as a starter let alone serving. My teammates patted me on the back and reassured me that I could do it. I took my place and sent the ball sailing over to the other side.

"Good serve, Bella!" Edward yelled from the stands.

I didn't have time to dwell on his encouragement as I was too focused on the game. We volleyed back and forth several times and Forks ended up winning the set 25-20.

During the second set, I went in for a dig and ended up hurting my knee. It hurt so bad, I couldn't do more than sit on the court and hold it. Coach was off the bench and at my side within moments and while I was okay letting him look at it, I wasn't crazy about the idea of him helping me up and off the court.

"Damn … where's that Emmett when you need him?" Coach asked jokingly.

"Edward's here … get him," I sniffled.

I looked toward the stands where my family was sitting and all of them were on their feet. Edward's face was twisted with concern and Coach hollered for him to join us on the court. Edward was making his way down the stairs as quickly as he could manage.

"Bella … are you okay?" He asked breathlessly as he approached.

"Help me," I sobbed.

Before I knew it, I was in his arms and he was helping me off the court. He set me gently on the bench while Coach called for the medic to come over and look at my knee.

"That was a pretty hard fall you took there, Boo."

"Edward … get Carlisle. Please?" I whimpered.

Leah heard my plea and immediately went to the front of the stands and summoned Carlisle to come down to the sidelines. Carlisle, Charlie and the medic arrived at the same time and I yelped as the medic reached out to touch my knee.

"It's okay, I'm a doctor," Carlisle said calmly. "I can examine her. She doesn't like to be touched."

The poor medic looked like he was torn between doing his job and what was being asked of him. Carlisle had asked him to back off and give us some space while he looked at my knee. Edward dutifully sat next to me and held my hand.

"I don't think you've broken anything, Bella. I know it hurts but let's get it elevated and get some ice on it, okay?"

Coach cleared the bench next to me and grabbed a duffle bag to slide under my knee so that I could at least watch the end of the game. The medic brought over some ice packs and Carlisle gently wrapped my knee in an ace bandage and placed the ice packs on top of it.

"Son, I'm assuming you're going to sit here with Bella?"

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good, keep an eye on those ice packs. Bella, sweetheart, I'm going to go and get you some Tylenol. Esme should have some in her bag."

Play resumed on the court and I tried my best to pay attention to the game and not the throbbing in my knee.

"Come on Leah!" I shouted. "You can do it!"

Leah served and the ball sailed cleanly over the net. The opposing team was able to dig, set and attempted to spike but Lauren was able to stuff it back at them earning the Spartans the point.

"Good job, Lauren! Well done!" I shouted.

Lauren quickly gave me a thumbs up as she waited for the other team to serve the ball. Several minutes and a few volleys later, we won the match 25-19.

"Bella, you go on with Dr. Cullen and have that knee x-rayed. I'll gather up your things and bring them with me."

"Thanks, Coach, but I think I've managed to get most everything. Esme packed everything up in the car earlier while we were practicing."

"Sounds good. You get that knee checked and let me know how you're doing, okay?"

I nodded and turned to Edward.

"Need some help there, Boo?"

"Yes, please."

Edward scooped me up in his arms as I held on tightly to my bag. He carried me over to our parents who were waiting by the door.

"Let's get you to Port Angeles, Bella. I have a friend there who's an Orthopedist … she'll take good care of you."

Edward placed me gingerly in the backseat of Esme's SUV before going around and climbing in the other side.

"Are you comfortable, baby?"

"Mmmhmm." I hummed.

My eyes slid shut as soon as the engine started and the quiet rumble rocked me to sleep. A couple hours later, Edward was gently nudging me awake. We'd arrived in Port Angeles and we were at Carlisle's friends' office.

"Tia will take good care of you, Bella. She's the best we have on staff." Carlisle reassured me.

Edward carried me into the waiting room where the nurse was waiting with a wheelchair.

"Stay with me, please?" I begged Edward.

Edward looked over at my Dad and Carlisle as if he were asking permission.

"Go on, Son. We'll see you guys in a few minutes."

Edward held my hand as the nurse wheeled me back to the exam room. He helped me up onto the table and stayed there next to me, holding my hand.

"I'm so glad you were there today, Edward."

"Me too, baby. You played so well today … it's like you never stopped playing. You shine out there on that court, Bella."

"It felt good to play again. I've really missed it."

Edward nodded.

"Leave it to me to get hurt before I get to play in an official game."

Edward's brows furrowed and he raised his eyes to look at me.

"Bella … I'm sure you'll be fine. The doctor will take a look at your knee and we'll know better after that, but I'm sure no matter what you'll be fine. It's not really that swollen."

Edward raised the ice packs to show me what he was talking about and I could see the bruise already forming. I reached down to touch my knee and it was incredibly tender, causing me to hiss.

"Ow, ow, ow!"

Edward lowered the ice packs back against my swollen flesh just as the doctor entered the room.

"Hi, Bella. I'm Dr. Lawton, but you can call me Tia. Dr. Cullen tells me that you hurt your knee playing volleyball today, is that correct?"

I nodded and gave her the abridged version as to what happened.

"All right, well, let's take a look and see what we got going on there."

Edward gently removed the ice packs and pulled the towel away. The hand that was holding my own never let go as Tia poked and prodded as gently as possible.

"It doesn't feel like anything is broken, but we're going to take a couple x-rays just to be sure."

Tia scribbled something down on my chart and promised that she would see me again in a few minutes. The nurse came back in with the wheelchair and Edward helped me down from the exam table.

"You can't go into x-ray with her, but you can help her up onto the table and when she's done you can come back in and help her down." The nurse smiled.

"Thanks," Edward nodded.

Waiting for the x-rays to come back, felt like it took forever. Edward tried to keep my mind off the pain by telling me about the time he spent at baseball camp. His excitement was contagious and I couldn't wait for the baseball season to begin so I could see him in action.

Edward was still talking when Tia walked into the room.

"I've heard you're quite a baseball player, Edward. Your dad is very proud of you." She smiled.

"Yeah, he is," Edward smiled shyly.

"Okay … well, I took a look at the x-rays and there isn't anything broken. My next concern would be that you've torn a muscle. I'd like to order an MRI to be on the safe side."

Once again, Edward helped me into the wheelchair and I was taken back for another round of tests. By the time we got back into the exam room, my knee was stiff and moving it was painful. I could see the worried look on Edward's face with every move I made.

"Hang in there, Boo."

I was trying to. Tia came in with a smile on her face, but I couldn't do more than grimace.

"Good news, Bella. Nothing is torn. I think you've merely got a nice big bruise and a couple strained muscles. I'm going to give you a script for the pain and I want you to wear a brace and stay off that knee as much as possible. However, I do want you to see a PT, because if you don't you could do some damage when you do resume physical activity."

I nodded and took the prescription she offered.

"The physical therapist can come to you, Bella. He usually comes to Forks two days a week, so I'm sure it won't be a problem to fit you into his schedule."

"He?" I whispered.

"Mmmhmm. Seth's the best around."

I could feel the panic beginning to rise – I'd have to have a great deal of contact with the therapist. Contact that scared me to death.

"Bella … it'll be fine. I'll be there with you when he comes over." Edward promised.

"Is there a problem?" Tia asked, confused.

I couldn't bring myself to answer. It was on the end of my tongue, but I couldn't push it past my lips.

Edward looked at me worriedly and kissed my forehead.

"It's okay," he whispered in my ear before turning to Tia. "Bella's got issues with men she doesn't know and being touched – she's working on them, but it's still hard for her."

"I see. You said you'd be there when he comes over, Edward. Bella, will there be issues even if Edward is there?"

"I … I don't know."

"Can you try?"

I nodded.

"Only if Edward or someone else I'm comfortable with is there."

"Okay. You work that out and Seth will be in contact with you on Monday to schedule your therapy for the week."

That night, I slept in my Dad's recliner so I could keep my knee elevated while Edward slept on the couch. I took one of the pain pills Tia had prescribed and I fell asleep not long after Edward and my dad got me settled in.

All day Sunday, I worried about my impending physical therapy appointment. Edward went home to take care of his laundry and his chores that he'd missed while he was gone and I was left home to worry about therapy.

"Bella, sweetheart, don't worry. Edward and I would never leave you alone if you weren't comfortable."

"I know that, Dad. But it doesn't make me any less anxious. Especially if he has to touch me."

The phone rang just after nine Monday morning. I answered anxiously and spoke to an extremely chipper Seth.

"I come to Forks on Tuesday and Thursday. I can fit you in at one o'clock if that will work for you."

"Sure, that'll work for me."

Would it? I honestly had no idea.

A/N: So camp went good and we had a little reunion for our favorite couple. Bella's still struggling, but she's making an effort. Let's hope it's not three steps forward and two steps back right?

Thank you all for reading and the reviews … I may not have time to reply to all of them, but I do read and appreciate them all.

Until next time ….